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The best advise about learning to please your Mistress is to pay attention to what she says and does. To ask questions in a manner seeking a better understanding. To be honest and open with her about wanting to please her and wishing to know what she expects. That communication, respect and simple caring for the person your with goes a long way to helping you reach that service you want to be able to render. Its how you display your belief and respect in them. Some people seem to CONFUSE the idea of a sub having limits as 'Topping from the bottom'. Everyone has limits. If you think you don't you have not thought things out OR have a Death wish. Yes a sub has the right to set limits they are NOT willing to cross or explore. YES a DOM/ME had better respect those limits. Your likely to find Doms also have limits. Things they will not explore or cross into. Thats a normal part of pre scene negotiation or in a relationships limits discussion. 'Topping from the bottom' is not someone that sets limits which is normal. 'Topping from the Bottom' is when someone tries to direct where and how a scene goes, how much you do and how often. Someone who makes 'suggestions' or gives leading remarks or actions to push a scene in a set direction. Basically someone that wants to have you follow their directions as if you were an actor in a play or movie. No Dom is going to let a sub script a REAL session. Set limits sure .. that's all part of SSC but its not topping.
In any relationship you have to have trust , mutual interest and a desire to be together. This is especially true in a Lifestyle relationship and more so when you are apart. You need to FEEL part of that relationship. need to feel as if your Dom was with you in all things. If you can feel them with you even when not online talking then you have a connection. If the only time you feel anything for or from them is while talking then the connection just is not there. People will say you need to be sure that your Dom is the right one for you. Best I can tell you is your heart will KNOW when you find the right person to be with. If you feel that connection to your Dom then he will not often need to correct you since your desire is to please them above all things. Most subs feel guilt when they even think they have not done right without needing to be told they did wrong. So those are the sorts of things you should feel. A closeness thats is with you even when apart. a bond that holds even when not talking or touching. A trust and desire to please. Trust that you are with the person who has your best interest at heart even above their own. SirWicked
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