I won't bore you with my weekend but suffice it to say  I had no money and was terrified.  Mostly because I knew I was going to give myself to Miss Crystal and that she was clearly cruel and sadistic.  But I had no real choice.  I could say no, not give her what she wanted.  She had given me an easy out, even encouraged me to take it.  I was allowed to say no but was just incapable of it.  I was compelled beyond my abilities to resist.  I needed to be a slave to a woman who would not hesitate to destroy me.  I was already Miss Crystal's punching bag and in my heart I was her property. I had doubts but my need to be treated carelessly and without mercy overrode those feelings.  My freedom and dignity a shadow to my self that needed to submit totally and be crushed.

It's hard to explain but I wanted my submission to be total because I didn't want to have to fit into both worlds. I wanted one or the other and I was always moving toward this one.  It's approach was slow, but constant and inevitable.

Sunday came, finally.  I had spent all of Saturday compiling my list for Miss Crystal.  As I wrote my note, listed the numbers and addresses of friends and family,  revealed passwords I took stock of everything I was giving away.

I heard a hard knock at my door and looked though the peep hole to see Miss Crystal.

"Just give me your note and shit now Freak, you got one minute."  Miss Crystal knew when she saw me that I had already submitted to her.  I got her the note and information she requested.  She looked it over and then looked up at me.

"Wait here stupid." She left and a few minutes later, my heart pounding and head spinning, Miss Crystal pushed the door back open.

I was surprised to see 6 other people with her.  She looked me in eye again and I was lost so suddenly I hardly noticed the transition.  She pointed to the floor and I fell down and placed my head on the ground for her.  I didn't consider that I was doing this in front of half a dozen people, my reaction was almost automatic.

She placed her foot on my head and kicked me hard.  Harder then either of the previous times, with out saying anything.  I looked up to see if she was done and started to get up.  She kicked me in the back pushing me down and the person who had been behind her put their foot on my head and with out any hesitation kicked me, not as hard as Miss Crystal, but it hurt.

Each person kicked me this way and each time Miss Crystal introduce us.

"This is Amanda.  Amanda, this is Freak. -
- This is Tori.  Tori, this is our new toilet.
- Freak, meet Dwayne, Dwayne, this is our maid.
- You remember Tara retard?  Tara, say hello to our ho.
- Lexi, kick our lab-rat nice and hard.
- G, this our slave.  See if you can knock some teeth out of his head."

One after the other, my head throbbing, I was introduced to them and myself.

"Get up Freak.  Take your fucking clothes off.  Lets go." I striped. "Say hello to your new family, bitch."

I wasn't sure what Miss Crystal wanted but I turned to them, naked and so loopy and out of control I wasn't sure I could speak.

"Hello ma'am's and sir's."

"You fucked up, get on your knees.  Turn around and open your ugly fat ass, slut."

I didn't know what to expect now.  This was happening quickly and I was totally off balance but I tried to follow each of her instructions.  I hated exposing myself this way more then I thought I would have, given what I'd already gone through.

"Crawl your dumb ass outside.  You got to learn to do this right so now you gotta do it where anyone can watch.  When you do good I'll make it easier for you.  When you do bad I'm gonna fuck your shit up.  Now get out there and tell each of my friends that your a fucking idiot and you ask them to do something terrible to your friends.  If you'd done better it would just be shit to do to you but now you fucked up." I imagine her friends were as shocked as I was terrified but I couldn't make sense of the world around me anymore.

This was 0 to 60 in 10 seconds.  This was worse then I'd feared and I didn't want to involve anyone else.  I wasn't in a place to resist anymore though.  The harder Miss Crystal pushed the faster I drowned.

With my ass in the air surrounded by Miss Crystals friends, outside in front of my neighbors, I began.

"Hello Miss Tara, I'm an idiot,  please take photos of me to send to my friends."  I was definitely not enjoying this.  Miss Lexi, " I was trying to remember all their names "I'm an idiot, please call my family to tell them about me.  Miss... Miss."

"You forgot already Freak?!  Put your head under your car."  I was beyond terrified and was having trouble even understanding Miss Crystal but I was acting on reflex now and I put my head under my car.  She got in and one of her friends, the only one not consumed with laughter, put my head near the front tire and held my face against it. "Do better, shit head!"

"Hello Mr. D."

Miss Crystal started my car.  "First strike Freak."

"Hello... Mr. Dwayne.  I'm an idiot, please make my friends fuck me."  I was scared beyond belief.  I wasn't really here was I?  I couldn't believe it.

"Good boy."

"Hello Miss Lexi."

"Strike two slut, you already said hi to Miss Lexi.  And tell them what to do to your friends, not what to make you do."  Miss Crystal put the car into gear and I felt the tire shift slightly on my face.

"Hello Miss Amanda," I was panicking "I'm an idiot, please make my friends pay you money to keep me safe."  They all started laughing even more at that.  "Hello Miss Tori," It was coming back to me "I'm an idiot, please make my family your slaves.  Hello Mr. G, I'm an idiot, please make my friends eat your garbage."  I was reaching for anything but I knew it had to be bad for them to enjoy it.  I regretted saying it as soon as it left my mouth.

"I'm gonna make your friends regret ever knowing you, Freak."  Mr.

G  whispered in my ear as I realized it was him holding me under the car.

"Let him up... wait, one second."  Miss Crystal blew the horn on top of me.  I was deafened and shocked back to reality.  I was naked, spreading my ass open while this woman was about to run over my head in front of my neighbors and her friends where laughing hysterically.  "Okay, let him up.  Back in side Freak."

I crawled back in, not having been ordered to stand again, and I continued holding my ass open.

"Damn.  I hope no one calls the cops on that.  Okay Freak.  Sit up and relax.  You messed up because when I tell you to do something, you always make sure you fuck yourself up for me while you're doing it.  I don't need to do all this work.  When you don't do a good job and make me do it for you, it's gonna be bad like this or worse.  That's the second rule.  Always fuck yourself up for me.  The first rule is do anything anyone tells you, anyone and everyone not just us.  No saying no, ever, unless it contradicts something I told you.  What's the first two rules shit mouth?"

"Do everything my stupid ass is told unless it contradicts you and always make sure to fuck myself up for you."

"That's right slut.  Do something dumb, now." She snickered.

I was suddenly taken back to one of the many phone sex calls I'd initiated over the years.  All of them a prelude to this.  the first and only thing that came to mind was to the time I poured hot sauce on penis for someone on the phone.  I stood up and walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of hot sauce.  I went back into the living room and got down on my knees in front of Miss Crystal and her friends.  I poured the hot sauce on my face and to make it worse then the time I simply masturbated with it, I opened my eyes and rubbed it in to them.  Miss Crystal's friends cheered me on and laughed as I started to feel the burning, my eyes watering.

"Ha ha. Hurt yourself dummy."  This validation made feel suddenly better.  I felt safer, somehow.  If I could keep her pleased maybe she would leave my friends out of it.  I hoped it was just her messing with me.  I hated saying those things more then anything.  I hoped that was the point, that it was just a punishment and not a prelude.

I kneeled there crying in front of them.  At that moment I knew I had made a terrible mistake but I was trapped now.  I would be, at all times, what I had until now only been on occasion and on my own terms. I was Miss Crystal's slave.

"Alright y'all.  You can get out of here now.  You need anything Freak here'll run out and do what ever you need done and he's not allowed to lock his doors anymore so come on in if you want to." Miss Crystal laughed

"We'll be seeing you Freak."  Mr Dwayne said pushing me over on his way past me.

"I'm gonna bring over some guys I know to fuck you ho." Miss Tara said as the others laughed at the thought. "We're gonna pimp you out fat boy."

"Oh hell yeah," Miss Lexi was excited by this.  "C, you gonna let us make money off his fat ass?"

"Yeah, shit. Charge those boys to fuck the piggy all you want, but I get my cut." Miss Crystal said while smiling down at me.  I felt my self becoming erect looking at her.  I would work hard for her.

As Miss Crystal's guests left she told me to relax, breath deeply and wash the hot sauce out of my eyes.

"Come here, honey." She said patting her lap.  I knelt in front of her and laid my head in her lap obediently.  I felt close to her, owned by her.  This out of place act of tenderness made me love my goddess. "You did good Freak." She said as she stroked my head gently.  "I want you to know, baby, that I'm not going to let anything too bad happen to you.  I'm gonna keep you safe but you need to do what I tell you.  But I promise you'll enjoy it in the end.  I'll show  you love and respect for submitting to me.  Okay, sweetie?  I know you need me to be mean and I will be, but you know I still care about you, right?"

"Yes Miss Crystal."  I was in heaven.  I felt so special to be allowed to serve this cruel but still generous black goddess.

"Look me in the eyes."  I looked up and she started laughing.  "Oh my god you're so stupid!  You believed me, I can tell.  No, you god damn freak I don't give a shit about you.  I'm gonna do stuff to you that will permanently injure you.  I'm gonna burn you and cut you and put your ass on the street where people can pay to fuck you.  You think someone who cared about you would do that shit?  You're nothing.  You're a fucking dog you fat white motherfucker."

She held my gaze and I knew it was true.  I was just a thing to her.

"This is how it is, Freak.  Get the fuck back down.  I don't care about you.  I'm just using you.  I'm not even gonna keep you forever.  I'm just going to mess you up and get everything I want from you and then I'm gonna sell you or kill you.  If you ever mess up on me you won't have to worry about that information you gave me.  That's just for my fun.  I'll get some boy from my neighborhood to kill you.  Got that?"

"Yes Miss Crystal."  I couldn't believe that.  It was too much to wrap my head around.

"I'm getting tired of messing with you tonight.  Get me my bag."

I got Miss Crystal's bag she set down just inside the door and brought it back to her.  She took out a sack and handcuffs.  She put the sack on my head and tied it with something around my neck and lead me to the back porch.  We went outside and she handcuffed me to the gate just inside my patio, laying face up.  I knew I wasn't completely visible here but if anyone looked over into the little back porch behind my apartment they would be able to see me.  She started tying a rope or string around my penis, beneath my balls and pulled me toward the fence that surrounded my little yard.  It held me in place uncomfortably.  She never said a word.  She trapped me there and left.  I would stay there the rest of the night.