After Hannah had left for work, I lay in bed thinking, my head now just a dull ache. I went through the last ten days of adventure we'd shared, comparing the highs and the lows, the rough and the smooth. I went over what I'd, at first, been 'persuaded' to do, and then willingly done, and I thought about how much I'd changed in those ten days. I also considered how things might go, one way or the other, and what the future might hold, depending on what path we decided to take. After a couple of hours of weighing things up, I came to a decision. I struggled out of bed and headed for the bathroom for a shower.
As she walked through the door, Hannah's concern regarding who she would find waiting for her when she got home was obvious with one look at her face. She beamed when she saw me stood opposite the front door, a large bouquet of flowers in my hand. I walked across to her and gave her a huge hug, being careful not to squash the delicate blooms.
"I'm so sorry," I said as we held each other tight. "Please, forgive me."
"Oh, you silly thing, there's nothing to forgive. Are those for me?" she asked as we broke the hug.
"Yes," I smiled, handing the bouquet over.
"They're beautiful! Be a lamb and fetch me a vase, would you?"
I returned a minute later, carrying a vase with some water in it. Hannah expertly arranged them as I went back through to the kitchen to see how dinner was doing. I was stirring the sauce when I felt her arms reach round me from behind.
"I love you, Carla," Hannah said gently.
I turned and looked into her beautiful blue eyes, enjoying the swirl of my skirt brushing against my stockings as we held each other's waists.
"I love you too," I managed to squeeze in before she leaned forward and gave me the most wonderful kiss I think I've ever had.
Our lipsticks felt so good together as her tongue delicately probed my mouth, her warm arms enveloping me before she moved her hand to gently caress my face. The sound of the sauce starting to boil behind me forced me to break the kiss, and she left me to go and get changed.
"Don't be long," I shouted, "Dinner's nearly ready."
Twenty minutes later, we sat at the table, the candlelight making our eyes shine. We swapped idle chit-chat while we ate, and when we'd finished, she told me about her day. Or more specifically, about her lunch with Claire.
As I wasn't there, Hannah wasn't sure what to do about lunch, but then around eleven she was summoned to Claire's office to discuss some work she'd done. Claire closed her office door and sat down at her desk, and then went through the report Hannah had done, praising the good points she'd raised and then suggesting some possible alternatives to others. Hannah said Claire remained professional throughout the meeting, and their Friday night session wasn't mentioned once. Just as she was leaving, Claire asked her if she would join her for lunch, to which Hannah agreed.
At twelve-fifteen, they met in the lobby and left the building. Claire took her to a small restaurant, not far from the office, and after they'd ordered, they sat and chatted about work for a while. Claire left Hannah to nip to the loo, and when she returned, she passed Hannah something that was tightly clasped in her hand. Hannah was astonished to find she'd given her a pair of warm, slightly moist knickers that she'd been wearing. She looked at her, amazed.
"Now I will be knickerless for the rest of the afternoon, just how you like me. Unless you want me to put them back on again?" she asked, matter-of-factly.
Hannah smiled, mischievously.
"And the bra?" she asked.
Claire went a little pale when she heard her ask that, but dutifully got up and returned to the ladies. A few minutes later, she was back, and she surreptitiously handed her bra to Hannah. Hannah put the items in her handbag, and closed it with a definite snap of the clasp, a confident smirk on her face.
They chatted for a couple more minutes as if nothing had happened before the waiter brought their food. When they'd finished, Claire asked if she would like dessert? Hannah understood the double meaning that had been intended.
"Yes, but not here," she said.
Claire paid for the meal, and then lead Hannah to her car, which was parked discretely in a multi-storey a few minutes walk away. There, Hannah made her masturbate while she teased her nipples until the woman climaxed. Hannah then told her to lick her fingers clean before putting them back in her honey-pot and offer them to her. She said the girl tasted good, and she loved the look on Claire's face as she held her gaze while she sucked on her fingers. The smell of her sex was strong in the confined space, and Hannah felt a sense of satisfaction when she saw the wet spot on the drivers' seat.
The afternoon went the same as usual, but every time Hannah saw Claire, she knew that she was naked under her business suit, and so did Claire. To press home her hold on the woman, every time she saw Claire, she slyly sucked on her fingers in such a way that nobody would know or think twice about it, but Claire would immediately become flushed and look away. Hannah said it made her smile all afternoon.
"And what about you, darling?" Hannah said, turning to me. "You've obviously been busy."
"Well, after you'd gone, I lay in bed and thought things through. Eventually, I decided that I like being Carla and I want to be her at least until Sunday. After that, I'm not sure. I've sort of got things straightened out in my head, but there's still a few things I'm not sure about."
"Well, I'm happy to be Carla around you, and although I've been out in public dressed, I'm still not sure I'm confident enough to be convincing. Also, I'm not sure how I'll react if someone, especially a bloke, discovers I'm really a man."
I stopped to take a sip of wine, avoiding her gaze. I was unsure how to phrase the next thing, and my heart was beating hard as I tried to find the right words. Hannah could see there was something else, and, bless her, she waited until I was ready to tell her what it was. I sat, staring at my glass for a moment before I took a deep breath and looked up at her.
"And lastly, I've come to realise that I enjoy being fucked as a woman, possibly more than when I'm doing the fucking. It hit me that I haven't made love to you for over a week, and yet I feel contented and sexually satisfied. So, what's been nagging at me is does the fact that I prefer taking it up the arse make me gay? I've never even thought about sex with another guy, and honestly, I'm not sure how I'd feel about it if it ever happened. That's what upset me yesterday, that's the main thing that's been on my mind that I need to sort out."
Hannah was silent for a few minutes as she digested what I'd said. She leaned forward and put her hands on the table, palms up, offering them to me. I put my hands in hers as I waited for her response.
"I can understand now why you've been so upset. It must be horrible, not knowing who or what you are, and I think I can relate to that. When I started my relationship with Claire, I suppose how I felt then was very similar to what you're going through now. But only you can deal with that, baby. I'll support you totally until you've sorted it out in your head, you know that, and I'll be fine if, at some time in the future, you decide that you want a man to make love to you."
Hearing her say this brought a huge sense of relief to me, and I squeezed her hands.
"Thank you, angel," I smiled, so relieved. "I'm not planning on anything as radical as that, but the weird thing is that I only seem to think about having a cock inside me when I'm Carla. So, does that make me gay?"
"No, sweetie, of course not. It's natural for any woman to think like that."
"But I'm not a woman, am I? I'm a man dressed as a woman."
"Do you feel like you're a woman?" she asked.
I hesitated before answering.
"Sometimes. Well, yes, when I'm dressed, nearly all the time then. And that's what's causing the confusion, feeling like I'm a woman when in fact I'm a man."
Hannah chewed on her bottom lips as she thought this through. Then she looked me in the eye.
"Do you want to be a woman? All the time, I mean, living 24/7 as one?"
I couldn't answer her. Deep down, I knew that this was really what was upsetting and confusing me. The unanswerable question: did I really want to be a woman?
"I don't know," I sobbed, "I really don't know."
Hannah came round the table and held me as I sat sobbing. She comforted me as I slowly regained my composure, holding me tight.
"Baby, it's okay. As I said yesterday, it's you I love, and if you're male or female, it doesn't matter to me one jot. Let's take things one step at a time."
She kissed me gently on the forehead, and then led me through to the lounge. Then Hannah sat me down while she made us a cup of tea, and we watched the late evening news together before we made our way upstairs.
That night, Hannah made love to me as one woman to another. Gently but purposely, she explored my entire body, delving and probing my most intimate places, licking and sucking her way to my eventual climax. Once I'd recovered, I did the same to her, and afterwards we lay together in each other's arms, our bodies so entangled that it was impossible to tell where one of us ended and the other began. Throughout the night, every time we thought our passion was exhausted, it would flare up again, like a phoenix in an inextinguishable fire that seemed to go on and on.
Finally we fell asleep, and my dreams were happy and carefree.
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/crossdressing/carl-carla-and-hannah-part-12.aspx">Carl, Carla and Hannah - Part 12</a>