In my early twenties, I was involved with a woman called Janice. She was shorter than I am, just over five and a half feet tall, five years older than I at twenty-eight, with long dark hair, blue eyes, and worked as a personal trainer at a local gym. I was a Bottom in those days or one who has things done to them. This was one of the last relationships I was in before I changed to being a Top.

She caught my eye and we hooked up. I had a jealous side that used to flare up if I saw her talking to others and I didn't want to be that kind of woman. We had a conversation about it and she suggested that she take another lover while I watched. I wasn't sure about this, but she was sure that seeing the thing a jealous mind fears most, her being with someone else, that there was nothing to be afraid of.

I could see it was something she wanted. She seemed to think this might help so reluctantly I agreed, and we made some arrangements. I booked a hotel room; I refused to let her do it at home, for obvious reasons. I sat in the tub chair, opened the mini-bar and poured myself a stiff rum and coke.  Janice went to the clubs and promised to bring back someone that would really make me excited.

I sat there for about an hour finally got a text message.

"I've got the perfect person, heading back now. You're going to love it."

About twenty minutes later, I heard the key card slide into the lock, the door beep and the sharp crack of the door unlocking. There was a rasp as it slid over the carpet and  I saw Janice come walking into the room. She was dressed in a tight black skirt, cream blouse and dark grey fleece.

A few moments later HE walked in.

That's right HE. He was six feet tall, athletic-looking, short dark hair, green eyes, and stubble on his cheeks. He was dressed in tight black skinny jeans, a crisp white t-shirt tucked into his waistband and a blue denim shirt. They had been kissing on the way here in the lift; several poppers on his shirt were open.

He stepped into the room, pushed the door closed behind him, and saw me looking at him. He had the grace to look a little bashful and embarrassed. Janice hadn't told him I'd be there. I nodded silently at him and raised the fizzing tumbler at him in salute.

I was wearing a knee-length pale pink shift dress, red DM boots and black fishnet tights. My hair was tied in a loose ponytail that hung down the back of the tub chair. The light gleamed on my glasses as our eyes met.

I didn't say a word. He didn’t speak.

Janice decided this was getting awkward and she wasn't going to get laid if we stayed like that. She grabbed the poor guy by the lapels of his shirt and launched herself at him like the cougar she was. She shoved her tongue into his mouth and ran her fingers down his chest. I could hear him grunt in surprise, and take a half step back. Janice wasn't interested in introductions. He was there to fuck her and fuck her he would or someone else would take his place.

His shirt opened in a series of sharp pops. With a deft flick of her wrist, she pulled it from him and tossed it aside. By sheer chance, it didn't land near me. She turned her lover to the side so his back was to me while she continued to slowly strip him. His arousal was very clear by the large bulge in the front of his jeans. Janice cooed at him, pulled his mouth from hers and pressed it to her neck.

She looked over his shoulder at me and gave me a devastatingly horny look. The only thing I could do was sip my rum and coke.

Janice unbuckled his belt, pulled the belt through the loops with a cracking sound as the belt passed each belt loop. Her hand pressed against the front of his jeans and he moaned into her neck. She giggled like a horny school girl and looked right into my eyes.

I could feel my jealousy flare; she was doing exactly what I'd been suspicious about. I expected she'd let the guy get her worked up and we'd fuck my suspicions away.

His hands went to her bum, cupped it, and kneaded it. She arched her back and moaned. The deep, husky way she moaned when I touched her.

My blood started to bubble like the coke in my tumbler. If only there was some ice, I could add to it like my drink.

The fleece was hurriedly pulled off and tossed to the side. His fingers danced along her blouse, buttons parted under his touch. I sipped my drink through clenched teeth. My skin prickled with goosebumps, I was most definitely jealous and with proper cause now.

He peeled her blouse open, showing her cream coloured bra underneath. The bra I bought her for our three month anniversary.  Her breasts bounced in their restraints and Janice gripped the side of his face, pulled him down to her cleavage. He didn't fight an inch, and then again, why would he?

He buried his face in her heavenly cleavage, his tongue licking her warm skin. His fingers gripped her ass and squeezed hard. She looked into my eyes and pouted at me. My hands shook with anger, the ice cubes clinked in my glass and I glared at her.

Jealousy be damned, rage was more of a problem now. I wasn't jealous of this penis on legs; I wanted to make her pay for this.

She winked at me, licked her lips sensually and pulled his hands off her bum, and onto her breasts. Again, he didn't resist and lovingly kneaded her breasts. I could see her nipples poke against the thin lacy fabric of her bra cups. Adrenaline surged in my blood, and my skin quivered as I repressed my anger. She turned so he could peel her blouse down her arms; she giggled coquettishly and tossed it directly at me. The bitch. I could see traces of her make up on the collar; smell her perfume from where I sat.

She wailed with lust and then reached behind her back to unsnap her bra. She leaned back from him, and he took a half step back, to let her release the twins. In moments, the clasp was open. The bra hung on her body, teasingly. Then she slowly slid the straps down her arms, letting them hang in her elbows. Her arms were pressing the bra so it hung barely on her. He watched feverishly. So did I.

He licked his lips and put out a hand to touch it. She let him pull the bra from her, let it fall down her arms, then tossed it at my feet. I felt it like a punch in the guts. I should leave. This was wrong; this wasn’t something I needed to see. Her eyes locked on me, glared at me, held me in place. She was my Top after all. I was her Bottom. She knew she had power over me and she was using every single ounce of it. I felt like I was pinned in position, helpless. I put my drink back on the table and fumed in frustrated anger.

She smiled when she saw me do that, crowed in her triumph and shoved that man’s face onto her nipples. Those lovely brown nipples I loved to suckle, I loved to run my tongue along. To feel them stiffen to my touch, and sing to me of the pleasure I gave her.

Now he was doing it, he was slobbering over her nipples, dribbling over her tits. His hands pawed at Janice lewdly and she moaned like a wanton whore. She knew I couldn’t leave, knew I’d be too ashamed to disappoint her, to stop the torture or walk away.

He slurped on her skin; his teeth left love bites on her tits. Bites I used to leave. My blood surged with shame.

'I wasn’t enough, I couldn’t be, or why would she treat me like this,' the voice in my head repeated.

His hands went to her skirt, dragged the zip down, slowly inch by inch. Then he tugged the skirt down her thigh. Janice wiggled her hips and they fell to the floor. Gawd, I loved that wiggle. I wanted it to be for me. Maybe I didn’t deserve that wiggle anymore for my weakness.

I blinked the tears away and looked at her. She was wearing the cream silk frilly thong that went with the bra set. The one I bought. The one I gave as a sign I loved her. His hands were on them. He caressed her bum, played with the tiny strip that ran down the crack of her ass and plucked at it like a harp string.

They plucked the strings of my heart; I felt it swell my chest, pressed against my rib cage. My tormented heart wanted to escape the prison of my chest and release me. Cruelly, nature prevented that so I had to endure more.

His fingers slid under her ass and stroked Janice where I knew she loved to be touched. Right in the middle of her glistening lips. Up and down they went; Janice threw her head back and howled like a whore. He groaned with satisfaction and devoured her neck with his teeth. She clawed his chest and toyed with his belly button.

I gripped the arms of the tub chair and my emotions surged like a storm front. Rage flashed like lightning in my mind. Shame crashed like a stormy sea on the rocks of my self-control. My pain roared like a howling gale. On reflex, I grabbed the rum and coke, poured another mouthful down my throat. The alcohol hit my system. It dampened my rage but it didn’t stop the crash of my shame.

Janice could see all of this on my face. I was never good at hiding my emotions, certainly not from a lover who knows my secrets. She could tell how I felt, and she didn’t stop. She didn’t blink. She unbuttoned his jeans, gripped his jeans and in a powerful pull, ripped his jeans and his boxer shorts right off his legs. I gasped in surprise; he whistled in excitement and kicked his clothes off his feet. Janice pushed him backwards onto the bed. He landed on the bed with a creak of springs, which sounded like a crack of thunder in my head.

She straddled him, concealing his very erect cock, and pressed her cleavage into his face.

He gurgled within that fleshy valley and feasted on them again. Janice made damn sure I could see her face, see how he suckled on her, see how aroused she was. She rocked against him, the front of her panties showing how aroused she was. I could see her lips through the filmy material, transparent by her wanton leaking pussy.

I started to pray inside, over and over, 'Oh Goddess, give me the strength to last ten more minutes, just ten more minutes.'

Janice decided to give me a real reason to be jealous. She slid down his body, leaving a soft line of kisses from his neck, down his hairy chest, down to his belly button. Finally, she reached his hard, eager cock. Her fingers gripped it tightly, stroked it slowly, she could feel its need to be buried in her body.

She looked me right in the eyes and then started to pump his cock with her fingers. Her tongue slid down the length of his shaft, tickled his balls and went back up again. A glistening trail followed behind her tongue. He put his hands on her head, curled his fingers in her hair, his intentions very clear. She loved it and wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock. She sucked it like it was the most delicious thing she’d ever had in her mouth. Pump, pump, pump, went the fingers. Slurp, slurp, slurp, went her mouth.

His fingers gripped her hair tightly and pulled her down on him. Janice gurgled for a moment and half choked. She bobbed her head up and down, slurping like a whore, and making odd choking noises from time to time. Gawd, she was deep throating him. I knew those sounds. My eyes burned with shame.

The painful words burned in my mind, 'I must have failed in some awful way to deserve this, I must have. Oh Goddess, give me strength to last another ten minutes, just ten more minutes.'

An odd little cry brought me back to the scene in front of me.

He was twitching violently. His fingers held Janice tightly to his crotch. He threw back his head and screamed. His eyes met mine for a moment. I could see the fireworks in his eyes, knew at that moment he was beyond caring what I felt. Janice bulged her cheeks, sucked the thick fluid down her throat like it was cold custard. It dribbled from the corners of her mouth, ran down her neck. It bubbled as it ran, some of her drool, some of his seed. It flowed like lava from her obscene lips. I shuddered in revulsion.

She pulled his cock from her lips, pumped it a few times and looked into his woozy eyes. She swung her legs off the bed and got to her feet, turned her ass to face him. Then hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her thong and pulled them down. A soft slurping sound whispered as the sopping wet fabric was pulled from her drooling lips. They were open like the petals of a flower, glistening with dew, her lovely clit whispered of carnal pleasures. She’d waxed herself smooth. Only a tiny triangle of glistening hair pointed down.

I remembered the joy I felt when I feasted on that hole. The heavenly taste of it, the smell of it, and the feel of its lovely juices on my face. She wasn’t doing it for me, it was all for him. I felt my breath catch in my throat; I had to force myself to breathe. The storm in my mind roared louder, but my self-control held out.

Janice climbed back on the bed, gripped her breasts and kneaded them for a few moments. He stared; his cock flopped on his belly. Janice ran a hand down her body, cupped her leaking lips, and slid two fingers inside her. She opened her lips so he could see, and with the other hand, she fucked herself while he watched. I swallowed in the tub chair, I wanted to rise from the chair, throw the prick out of the room and devour her. To make her remember I was her lover, I was hers. This ball bag on the bed didn’t mean anything. 

I watched his cock twitch, rise like a flag pole, the siren song of her pussy was more than he could resist. She arched her back and quivered for a few moments. Oh, I knew she hadn’t cum, she was just pretending to, but he didn’t know that.

She straddled his waist, gripped his stiffening cock and pulled towards her dripping lips. I watched her rub it between her lips, I could see him tremble with excitement. She pulled it just inside her lips, looked me in the eye, and dropped her hips in one hard movement. He slid completely inside her in one moment, a parp as the air was forced out, and a slithery slurp was all I could hear.

Janice moaned with glee, bounced on his cock, locked eyes with me and showed me how good it was to have that in her. From the look on her face, it was better than my tongue, my fingers, or my body ever managed. Hot tears burned in my eyes. I refused to cry. I wasn’t going to let her see me do that. With an effort I forced down my tears, I turned to stone to keep my self-control.

Janice fucked him like a woman possessed, not a gentle slow burn loving screw. She wanted to fuck him like a bitch in heat, and she did. He put his hands on her waist to give her balance, grunted like a marathon runner pounding out another tough mile and tried to hang on. She rode him like a jockey at the Gold Cup. She leant forward, and her tits slapped his face. Her hips drove her mercilessly against him. He bucked against her, gripped her tits in his paws and fucked her as hard as he could. I could hear the bed creak under them.

I prayed, 'Oh Goddess, give me strength to last another ten minutes, just another ten minutes.'

Janice bucked, bounced and in one blood-curdling cry told me she’d finally cum. He roared like a bull and shuddered violently. Janice raised herself off him; let me see what he’d done to her.  I could see that cock as it convulsed, shot ropes of semen into her spasming pussy. It dribbled out of her lips, down her thighs.

I fought the urge to throw up. I took a large swallow of my rum and coke to wash the bad taste out of my mouth.

Janice saw me move, moaned shamelessly and ran her fingers through the dripping mess. She stared into my eyes and slowly licked her glistening fingers. I shuddered in revulsion and forced myself to stay calm.

Janice sank to her knees, gripped the softening cock, put it in her mouth and started humming into it. In my altered state of mind, it seemed to take only seconds before he was ready to fuck her again. She straddled him, pulled the very eager cock into her slithering pussy and bounced up and down a few times. When she was happy with how lubricated it was, she pulled it out of her pussy, and scooped up a handful of gloop from her thighs. Fingers slowly rubbed that shiny mixture against her puckered little star. The same little star I was never allowed to put a finger in was now about to take a big meaty cock.

Janice turned just enough to make certain I could see when she pulled that cock into her ass and slowly lowered herself on it. A delighted moan escaped her lips; she threw her head back and wailed with pleasure. Inch by inch she swallowed that cock in her tight little ass.

He just grunted, babbled something neither of us cared about and rocked his hips. Janice was running this show and he was just a bit player. She forced his hands back to the mattress, gripped him by the wrists and started her fun. Janice didn’t so much fuck the guy as behave like a piston in an industrial engine. She’d raise herself up so only the tip remained then drop down like a heavy weight and shove the whole thing inside her. How that man took that kind of abuse, I don’t know.

She fucked him for what seemed like days, one hand between her legs taking her oozing pussy with her fingers. A slurping sucking sound told me she was doing a number on herself. A screech told me she’d hit another orgasm. She didn’t stop; she bucked on that cock in her ass and pumped her fingers in and out of her pussy.

I stared silently as the storm raged within my head. The rocks of my self-control were taking quite a beating and were quaking.

Finally, he started grunting, and Janice raised herself just enough so I could see the torrent of gloop that poured into her ass, dribbled down her cheeks, and ran in streams down her thighs. Janice wasn’t quite finished with him yet, oh no. She had a final indignity for me, one specially designed to hurt me deeply. She fell to her knees and started sucking on his cock like a lollipop. Her fingers rippled over the purple meat, her lips sucked and slurped at the tip. She hummed into it, a relentless vibrating hymn that he was powerless to resist.

In a short space of time, it was stiff, purple, and twitching. Janice put the whole thing in her mouth and face fucked him like a dervish. He gripped her hair and tried to slow her down, but Janice only cared about her desires. She could feel every muscle twitch of that cock in her mouth and knew exactly when he was going to shoot another load.

When he was about to fire, she pulled it from her mouth, closed her eyes pointed it at her chest and pumped it hard. Arcs of semen sprayed across her gorgeous breasts poured into her cleavage and ran from her nipples like a waterfall. She gripped the twitching member and rubbed it on her cheeks, her chin, her forehead, and over her lips.

I had reached the end of my patience. I downed my drink in one go and put the glass down hard.

The sharp explosive sound drew attention. He turned at the sound and saw me there. My silent vigil had been forgotten while Janice cast her spell on him. Now he was fully aware of the fact that not only was he not alone with Janice but Janice had a girlfriend who looked like she wanted to skin one of them alive and didn’t seem fussy over who got flayed first.

His mouth opened in the face of my silent glare. He babbled some kind of excuse and hurriedly got dressed. In a few moments the door rasped open and a heavy click told the door had closed again.

Janice knelt there, drenched in sperm. Like a thing from the most awful nightmares of my queer heart. If there had been a woman in there, we could have shared her, or just fucked each other silly.

Janice didn’t want that. She wanted me to know that she was the Top; she had done exactly what she said she would. She did the one thing guaranteed to make jealousy the least of my problems. There was no way I could kiss her, touch her, and even be in the same bed with her.

She knew that, she knew that she’d hurt me in ways I could never forget. Janice grinned at me, sperm dribbling from her lips, slithering from her chin, her arms wide inviting me for a hug or a kiss.

I rose from the tub chair, and without saying a word walked towards the bathroom, closed the door behind me and slammed the bolt home. I couldn’t bear to be in the room with her, it reeked of men, and Janice gloated at me. I knew she’d wait for me to fall asleep then sneak up and rub that stuff all over me just to make me vomit.

I walked to the mirror to check what kind of state I was in. I saw a terrifying demon. My eyes were red, puffy and blazing with rage. Not just anger but a flaming conflagration of pure howling destruction. My mascara had run in streaks down my face, making me look less tragic and more like an operatic revenge heroine. Vengeance was written on my face in large neon letters.

Snot ran in streams from my nostrils and poured down my face. My lips were curled back in a snarling grimace. My teeth bared in a display of silent defiance. This face would take her worst then rend her to ribbons. No wonder he’d taken one look at me and fled.

I washed my face and curled up in the bathtub to sleep. Silent painful sobs made my body dance with shame, and I cried myself to sleep. In the morning I woke up, stiff from sleeping in the tub, my clothes had damp patches from where my tears had dripped on them.

I struggled out of the bath, did some stretches to get my muscles loosened up and checked my watch. Quarter past eight in the morning. I opened the door as quietly as possible, pulled it open and walked silently into the room. Janice was lying on her back, arms and legs wide open, like some kind of twisted sexual starfish. I could hear her snoring from where I stood. I took my room card from the table, then without looking back pulled the front door open and walked out.

I waited to see what excuse she’d provide for her actions, and what our three months together had meant. She never did call me; give me an apology or even an explanation.