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Of Love and Lust

I never thought a crush on my guy friend would turn into this...
  Jaren Ritter had been my best guy friend since Pre-School. We practically grew up together. We told each other everything, from crushes to our favorite porno flicks. We even got fake IDs together and tried to go into in adult shop when we were 13. We experienced each other growing up.
  We always had a mutual connection like one of a brother and sister. I told myself that I could never love him as a boyfriend for fear of ruining our friendship. But as days went on, I knew I was falling for him.
  What a perfect boyfriend I knew he’d be. He would never hurt me and we could talk honestly to each other. Not to mention he was unbelievably cute. From his shaggy blonde surfer hair to his tan muscular build. I often fantasized about us being together.
  I knew he felt the same way, but he always tried to hide it. I could tell the way he looked at me when I asked him if a certain pair of pants made my butt look big, or when me and him wrestled in the pool. I was 15 when I finally decided to tell him how I felt. I remember calling him up on his cell. The first words out of his mouth were that he and Morgan, a girl we went to school with, were now dating.
  Needless to say, I told him nothing that day. But as I lay in bed that night, I told myself that he would be over her in a few days, maybe even a week or two.
  I was wrong. After about a year of them dating, I got over my love for Jaren and fell in love with a new guy. Tommy Fenner, was just as cute if not cuter than Jaren. (Or at least that’s what I told myself to numb the pain of heartbreak.)  We had sex, and told each other we were going to be together forever.
  Things between me and Jaren got weird and we grew distant. He lived his life with Morgan, and I lived mine with Tommy. Our relationship became just waving at each other between classes.
 
  It was the night of my seventeenth birthday. Tera had just gone home and Ricky (my little brother) was spending the night with his friend. The doorbell rang downstairs and I figured it was Tera coming back because she had forgotten something.
  To my surprise Jaren was standing at the door with a wrapped present in his hand.
  “Happy Sweet Seventeen Rose.” He greeted sheepishly, walking in the door. “Did I miss the party?”
    “There really was no party. It was just me and Tera…” I mumbled awkwardly. “If I would have known you wanted to come, I would’ve invited you. Sorry.”
  “Rosalina, I really need to talk to you. In private…” He said, motioning to my parents who appeared to be fast asleep on the couch cuddled together.
  “Let’s go up to my room.” We both rushed up the stairs and as soon as we walked in the door of my room, Jaren shut it behind us.

   “Rosie, I’m sorry I let my relationship get in the way of our friendship. I just want things between us to be the same, if not better.” He said, sitting beside me on my bed. I looked him in the eyes, trying to search for that lust for him I once had.
  “Jay, we’ve both grown up. I- .”

  “Rosie, I love you. I’ve always loved you and always will.” He interrupted.
  “Jaren, there was a time when I loved you, but that’s just a thing of the past now.”

   Jaren’s face turned red and his expression fell. “Well, can I just kiss you goodbye?”

  I nodded slowly. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I loved him.
   
  Jaren’s kiss began gently as he hesitantly tested the waters, and soon it became a slightly more passionate action. His tongue danced across my lips, asking my permission to enter and surprising me with its fiery temperature. I opened my mouth and allowed my own tongue to explore, tasting the unfamiliar sweetness of his wet tongue. It was so unreal, kissing the man who I once loved but knew I could never be with; exhilarating.

   I began to feel feverish, and I wrapped my arms around his strong neck, bringing him closer to me. With a shaky breath Jaren encircled my waist with his muscular arms, giving me the out of place feeling of comfort and protection. I felt him slide his hands from the small of my back to my hips, feeling me, trying to memorize my shape.
   He moved his lips to my neck, kissing and suckling at the most sensitive areas. I let my head roll back as a wave of hesitant passion filled my body, beginning in my heart and settling in my most private of areas. He then kissed a trail down from my neck to my collar bone, and with his right hand he hesitantly cupped my breast, kneading it gingerly. His breathing became noticeably heavier, as did mine, as the anticipation continued to build not only in my body, but Jaren’s too.

   “Wait Jaren!” I said abruptly, gently pushing him off me. “I’m in love with Tommy and you love Morgan. We can’t do this…” Though I meant my words, my own temptation thought otherwise.
  He looked guilty. “I know this is so wrong. But just please give me this. If I’m going to lose my virginity, I want it to at least be to the person I love most.” My heart melted at his words.
   “Jaren, if we do this, we still won’t be together.” I said sternly. I figured shooting him in the head would cause less pain than this.

  “Then do if for me as a friend. We can keep this between us and we won’t ever have to do this again.” He pleaded. He was begging me to have sex with him…
   I cupped his face in my hands and began kissing him again. ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ I told myself. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen.  
 
  I could actually feel is restless energy. He pushed me back on my bed, increasing the intensity of our kiss. He paused his ministrations, grabbing hold of the hem of my tank top and asking me with his beautiful, green eyes if he could remove it.
  “It’s okay.” I whispered, cupping his cheek in my hands. He smiled shyly.

  Jaren clumsily pulled my tank up and over my head and then tossed it onto the floor. The rush of cool air from the room washed over my bare stomach, sending chills down my spine and causing my nipples to peak beneath my bra. Jaren couldn’t keep his mouth away from me then, kissing and licking down my chest to linger between my breasts. My hands were tangled in his shaggy blonde hair as I enjoyed the sensations a little too much.

  “Rosalina…” he mumbled, face still at my breasts. I moaned softly in response and he gazed up at me, eyes heavy with desire. I leaned down to kiss his forehead, my hands caressing his lower abs.

  “I love you.” He whispered, never breaking eye contact.
“I love you, too.” I said without a bit of hesitation.

  Jaren then returned his focus to my body, and reached down to fumble with the button on my jeans. I suppressed another giggle, not wanting to hurt his man pride, and assisted him in unbuttoning me. I leaned back on the bed as he stripped me of my jeans. His eyes were appraising me as I lay there in my cotton pink bra and panties. For a moment I wished I was wearing something a little sexier.
   “You’re so beautiful, Rose.” He said in a deep, husky voice.
“You don’t think I look plain with my ratty old cotton…” I asked. He shook his head.
 
  “I don’t think that. This is what I’ve always imagined you wearing. Sweet and simple Rosie. Besides, who needs all that fancy underwear when they’ve got a body as perfect as yours?” He smiled and touched my cheek. I chuckled.
  I looked at him then, beckoning him with my eyes. He took another shaky breath and leaned over me, resting on his left elbow, and caressed my stomach and then my thighs. He kissed my neck again and with timid gentleness, nipped me with his teeth, eliciting a warm throb between my legs and causing my breathing to stagger.

I reached behind my back to unclasp my bra, saving him the trouble, and feeling delight pulse through me as Jaren’s pupils dilated with excitement. His breath came with haggardness as he took my nipple in his mouth and suckled it, a new determination in his demeanor.
“Jaren…”
  I could feel his erection begin to grow against my right thigh and while he continued to suck my breasts I glanced down to see its size through his jeans. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but considering Jaren’s body size and structure it would have to be pretty large; proportionate to his body. The size scared me, its length more than what I was used to. Even though I wasn’t a virgin it could hurt terribly. I hoped he would take it easy with me, not be too ravenous.

  Jaren then carefully slid my panties down and added them to the forgotten mess of clothes on the floor. He boldly ran his hand over my vag and then unexpectedly placed a rough finger into my warm folds, caressing my most sensitive of places and not even knowing it. My breath staggered and a quiet groan escaped my lips. Our eyes met and he held my gaze as he began to rub and explore me, delving down into my wetness and, judging by me expressions, discovering what places felt the best to touch. He was very observant and picked up on it quickly.
  “You can go inside.” I whispered in response to a sudden look of apprehension on his handsome face. He swallowed with difficulty and inserted one finger and then two. It hurt a bit, his fingers were so big, but the feeling of pleasure overrode the pain, the pleasure of having him so close to me, having his warm fingers inside me. I began to pant heatedly as he moved his fingers, in and out with slow and careful intensity and I watched his face as he studied me, taking in my reactions and the parts of a woman he’d never explored before. It made me a bit uncomfortable, so I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at my eyes.

  “What should I do?” he asked timidly, biting his lower lip. I’d almost forgotten that he was still a virgin. He reminded me of Tommy when we first had sex, pausing often to ask what to do, as if I knew, and what I wanted.

  Jaren however, was so innocently ignorant that it was proving difficult to not see him as endearing at the moment. I smiled softly and ran my fingers through his thick hair. He tilted his head toward me, eyes closed, and savored my touch. Then he nuzzled his cheek into my palm, loving on me.
  “Do whatever you want.” I said.

  He pulled his fingers out, rubbing them together to feel their slickness. His demeanor changed rapidly again and I noticed his eyes flash with passion, his body reacting to his desires. He leaned down and kissed me with earnest, breathing more heavily and turning my insides to mush. As he attacked me with more kisses, I felt his erection from underneath his jeans graze my thigh, unconsciously humping and rubbing against me. The motion sent shivers into my core, and my body actually ached for that feeling to reside inside of me rather than on my thigh. I felt another thump of desire pulsate within me and I knew I couldn’t hold out much longer.

  I reached down to the waistband of his jeans and slid my fingers inside, feeling his taut lower abs and his jutting pelvic bones. Jaren sucked in air suddenly with my touch and let out a masculine groan against my lips as I bravely touched his throbbing erection. He was big, I knew now. Instead of the nervous fear of pain coursing through me, I felt nothing but anticipation for what was to come. Tommy was a nice size himself, perfectly proportioned to his lean body size, and since he was the only man I’d ever been with, my body wasn’t accustomed to anything different. Yet still I felt no apprehension any longer. I was ready.

  Jaren paused his shower of kisses to reach down and pull his jeans off, revealing himself: a body made of pure muscle, running on nothing but love and lust. I admired his physique as he nibbled my ear, noticing the sexy trail of blonde hair that began at his navel and joined in with the bushel of hair surrounding his impressive erection. I saw his thighs, a slightly lighter shade of skin covering the powerful muscles beneath.

  The burn in my core that resulted from this vision was hard to control, and so I gave up and allowed myself to lose what little control I still had. As I wrapped my arms around his strong neck I kissed his mouth with such passion that I surprised myself. He tilted his head up so I could suckle his neck instead, breathing huskily, his mouth open slightly with pleasure.

  “Aah…”he mumbled, breathless. He dipped his head back down and then positioned himself above me, moving his body in between my legs and opening me to the chill air. I could feel his erection touch my inner thigh again, and then pause at my wet opening. I opened my eyes to find Jaren looking straight into them. I’m not certain what I saw behind those eyes. Happiness for finally having me, sorrow for what could have been… His emotions seemed to be mixed, according to his eyes, and so I asked him what he was thinking at that very moment, right before we would come together.

  “I’m thinking about how much I love you; how much I want you…”he said, voice saturated with unashamed desire. I didn’t say anything back, just continued to peer into his eyes.
  “Are you sure about this, Rosie?” he said then. “There’s no turning back what we are about to do.” I was surprised that it was him asking me if I was positive I wanted to do this, and not the other way around.

  I nodded solemnly, remembering what happiness would come from our lovemaking. He let out a nervous breath, placing his arms on either side of my shoulders. His body was trembling just as much as his voice, as adrenaline coursed through his veins.

  Slowly, hesitantly, he slid himself into my opening and groaned breathily with pleasure. The sound made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as it excited me further. His size did hurt my small opening as he forced himself deeper into me, stretching the tender walls to the max. Once he reached the barrier he began the instinctive motion, his eyes hooded with need, but I grabbed his arm to stop him.
   “Wait.” I gasped. I let my body adjust to his large size for a moment, Jaren watching my face intently. After a few seconds I nodded for him to continue, so he began again, slowly this time; passionately as if he were reveling in the new feeling. I knew I was reveling, absolutely loving the feel of the searing warmth of his cock inside me. I arched my back, lifting my hips to meet him half way, thrusting with just as much slow deliberation.

  “Rosie…” he breathed into my ear as he nibbled at it. I let out a low moan, panting breathily and feeling him so deep within me, not only completely filling me up physically, but emotionally as well. We were one entity, and during the moments that we were joined, nothing else mattered.
  I listened to the sensual sounds he made, loving the deep, ragged breathing and masculine groans. I could smell the woodsy musk of his trembling skin mingling with my own smell, causing my nose to tingle. I could even taste the sweet passion in his mouth as he kissed me deeply. Every sense seemed to be heightened and I was so fully aware of Jaren and his body and of my own, that it was surreal. It was amazing.

  In earnest I reached up top cup his firm backside, trying to push him deeper. His thrusts then became faster and more determined, as did mine, and he began to use his whole body to move, not just his hips, jostling my own body with power. Our breathing grew frantic as we climbed closer to our goal, filling the room with desperate gasps of increasing pleasure. I felt him nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck as he worked, and I could feel his moist breath on my throat, sending shivers of goose bumps across my skin.

Jaren reached down to my waist and lifted my hips to receive his pounding thrusts, balancing himself with one hand still at my shoulder. Suddenly the smoldering fire within my core began to come alive and consume my fevered body. My breathing synchronized with his, both of us searching for air that wouldn’t come fast enough, and our movements intensified with every passing second. I could feel beads of sweat trickle on my body, mixing with his, making our bodies slip against each other.

  Then without warning, the fire exploded within me, coursing from my abdomen to the tips of my fingers and toes and sending my mind miles from everything but Jaren and the feeling that plunged me into ecstasy. I gasped as I rode out the burning wave of flames, feeling as if I’d been tossed into oblivion. My eyes were in contact with Jaren’s as he watched my erotic expressions, and I could see that he was marveling at my reaction. I also saw the fire building within him as well, like little flames dancing in his eyes.
  He ducked his head back down to my neck, continuing his progress and huffing with effort. I lay there with my arms around his trim waist, recovering from my release, and waited for him to come. My heart was still pounding, my lungs still searching for enough air; I was actually panting. When he did come, it was as if he had been released of an excruciatingly heavy burden.

  He cried out huskily and slowed his pace, biting the thin skin of my neck and taking in every sensation slowly. I felt his hot cum shoot into me and I lifted my pelvis slightly to receive it. His breath was ragged as he finally slowed his movement to a stop and I could feel the slight jerks as his orgasm shake his massive body.
   He was still for a moment, one arm at my shoulder, the other holding my waist, and then he collapsed on top of me, absolutely spent, and knocked out what little air I had in the first place. But he quickly moved aside, breathing with some effort from exertion at my right side. We lay there without a word for a long moment, reflecting on what had just occurred between us. I reached over and touched his sweaty back, caressing and soothing his feverish skin and he sighed deeply in obvious contentment.

  “Did I do alright?” he mumbled after a pause, his face half concealed by the pillow. I smiled and rolled over onto my stomach too, our faces only inches apart.
   “You were perfect.” I whispered. He peered into my eyes as if he were checking to see if I were telling the truth. Apparently finding no evidence of a lie, he smiled at me shyly.

  “You felt so good…” he said as he readjusted his head to reveal his whole face. I blushed at his compliment and so did he. Jaren was just so sweet and, despite what he’d just done to me, so heartbreakingly adorable. I briefly recalled the way he’d felt inside of me and how his masculinity had done me in. His cute boyishness was instantly replaced with the image of pure sexiness.

  We laid side by side in my bed for what seemed like forever. I rested my head on his bare chest, I felt his torso rise and fall with each heavy breath he took. “Thank you…” He mumbled to me. I wanted to cry right then and I regretted doing what I had.

   He got up and began to throw his clothes back on. My heart broke a little more after each passing second. I got up and did the same. When I stood up, I could feel his semen drip down my leg. He must have noticed too because he turned bright red. “Contents may have shifted during flight,” I said jokingly, hoping to break the awkwardness. He let out a chuckle and pulled me towards him by my waist.

  “Before we go back to being just friends again, can I have one last kiss?” He asked seductively. I nodded and pulled my face to his before he had time to think.

  “Bye, Rosalina. See you tomorrow.” He said, walking out the bedroom door. “Oh, I almost forgot! Here,” He said handing me the wrapped gift he brought.

  I giggled. “Thanks Jaren.” I gave him one last kiss before he left. As he walked out the door and turned around to face me.

  “I still love you like crazy, Rose.”
    “And I still love you like crazy too…”
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