Where do I even begin?

I was 20 before I met a girl who was even remotely interested in me. Or at least, I was 20 before a girl was into me and I knew it.

Women have always been a mystery to me. From the first crush of my elementary school days to the unyielding love I feel for someone now, I have never understood anything about women.

I was introduced to Karla through my best friend, Eric and his girlfriend, Sam. They had tried to set us up once before, behind my back, on my birthday, but she couldn't make it.

We met on a hot, early summer day at Limeridge Mall in Hamilton. Karla and I had been talking on Facebook for a couple days prior to that, so a lot of the nervousness I would normally feel was gone.

The four of us spent some time hanging out in the food court, joking around, letting me get to know Karla better. It turns out, she still had a boyfriend, Connor. He was unemployed, a drug addict and his entire family was hooked on various drugs and would all be high as often as possible, even while driving. Everyone told her to leave this guy, but she wouldn't.

From the mall we went to a park at the edge of Hamilton mountain. Eric and Sam wanted to get some pictures together. Karla and I got a couple together as well, but not all lovey dovey like Eric and Sam's were.

We walked around the park just talking. We were hitting it off really well. She told me about her boyfriend and how she wanted to leave him, but hated everyone telling her to do so. I know now that her saying that was her putting me "on the hook" so to speak. I became her backup guy.

We spent the next few months meeting up a lot, texting, Facebook messaging. We never missed a day. It was a few months straight of talking to each other. She and Connor had split briefly during this time, but being the inexperienced schmuck that I am, I blew my window and they got back together.

Finally I took the offensive, even while she was still seeing the jerk. The first thing I did was write her a poem. She loved it. She cried as she read it. Score one for the schmuck. A little while later I bought her flowers. I bought them before meeting up with her and tried to figure out the best way to surprise her with them.

I put them in my trunk in such a way that they wouldn't move and get ruined. I picked her up and we went to a park on the lake. As we were getting out of the car, I told her to look in the trunk. She was speechless. She cried and hugged me for the longest time. We walked around the park, sharing a chocolate mint ice cream cone, and it became very clear that if she wasn't with Connor, she would have been with me.

In September we went to Niagara Falls. This was a huge day for me as I had never been to the falls and because Karla was single again. We met up with Eric and Sam at Boston Pizza along with our then friend, Nick and the girl they were trying to set him up with and had previously tried to set me up with, Stacey.

On the drive back from the falls, Karla held my hand most of the way. I was insanely happy. I had already told her I loved her at this point but I could really feel it then. When I pulled up outside her house to drop her off, she leaned over and kissed me. It was just a quick peck, lasting a second, if that, but it was amazing to me.

That was my first kiss. Afterwards, she leaned back, smiled, said goodnight and hopped out if the car. I was in a state of shock the whole way home.

We didn't kiss again, or talk about it, until Thanksgiving in early October. We had gone up to my cottage to have Thanksgiving with my parents. While waiting for dinner, Karla and I sat in the basement watching Office Space, when finally the subject came up. She told me she was testing the waters, seeing if there was anything there. I asked if there was and she replied in kind, asking if I thought there was. I, of course, said yes. She asked if I wanted her to kiss me.

One thing you have to understand is that when questions like this had come up in the past with anyone, I would always panic and say no. It was my default answer. But I said yes.

She was on me in half a second. I had never known a girl to be this aggressive or passionate and it was amazing. Our lips met frantically, hers feeling like soft, moist clouds from heaven on mine. Her tongue snaked into my mouth, and though it was my first time making out, I never missed a beat. I flicked at her tongue with mine and sucked on it when it came deeper into my mouth. When we'd start to pull away from each other, she'd bite and suck on my lip, making me want more. She stroked my hair the whole time and I had my hands on her body, sitting on the side of her chest, just under her breasts.

As we finally parted, after a long session, she said she was going to do something for me. She took my hand and placed it on her left breast. To this day I still fantasize about what I should have done at this point. I should have taken her to my room, undressed her, and made sweet love until it was time for dinner. At the very least I should have caressed her breasts while we made out again.

Instead, like the schmuck I am, I simply kept my hand still and let it fall away slowly. I could tell that wasn't what she wanted but I couldn't bring myself to do anything more. We kissed a couple more times and that was the end of that.

When I dropped her off at home later that night, she hugged me tight and told me to grab her ass. I did as I was told but gently and with little squeezing or caressing. She sighed, said goodnight and got out of the car. I can't help but cringe at my stupidity as I write this.

That week would wind up being the best of my life. On that Tuesday we hung out, and, as I was leaving, we kept hugging. I wanted to kiss her but I'd never been the aggressor, so I didn't really know how. Eventually we finally parted and as I was driving home I received a text. I pulled over to check it and the contents of it made me scream with frustration. "I wanted you to kiss me."

On Wednesday I dropped her off at school, this time kissing her in front of the school. She smiled and said that wasn't so bad was it.

That Saturday we went to the Devil's Punch Bowl, a popular make out/suicide place. We spent an hour making outmuch to my delight.

Things promptly fell apart within the month. My friends interfered which pissed Karla off. We dated officially for ten days and she dumped me via text. We haven't spoken since November of 2011, and I doubt that will change.