It was the bottom of the world at this dead stop of time and it was a liberation in a sense. Now that I was officially a junkie degenerate, landed in a drug treatment center in the Minnesota woods, I could embark on the most liberated cock sucking I had ever performed… I was disowned, I was no one, I was now free.
He was a black dude named Seth. His skin was a caramel brown, his hair a mess of high-maintenance dred-locks of the hair gel variety.
We two hung out, initially because we were the suburban kids in the midst of toughened street folk.
We both had that damaged, middle class, hyper intellectual tendency to have weird flights of thought and abstract insights that irritated most people.
The other residents didn’t like us because were naïve and vacuous.
The would have liked us even less if they had known that we were both part time cock suckers.
Before our tryst in the woods that day, Seth and me were always an abstract, pseudo-artist pairing. I was always banging on the guitar I had brought to treatment and Seth aspired to be a poet. Seth would improvise free-form song poems from a notebook of scrawlings as I played.
These were not good songs.
This was not good guitar playing.
We played this free form “music” together to blot out the others around us because of their coarseness and violence. Our playfulness together was a respite from the despair and meanness around us.
As I said, Seth was odd compared to the other black dudes who were in treatment with us, they being mostly uneducated, wannabe gangsters.
They all saw Seth as “soft” and suburban and they treated him with more contempt than they treated even me, the suburban white kid.
Seth was an outsider to them, soft, hyper-intellectual and easily conned out of cigarettes, just like me, the frail, dim witted, white boy.
There was only one dude who remotely tolerated us.
He was a tall granite skinned “voodoo chile” named Effrom who was a street war hardened older man who, behind his Alabama gentility, possessed an edge that earned respect.
There was an incident during a pick up basket ball game where these two tough dudes, who had been itching to fight each other for weeks almost had their 'throw down'.
It exploded when there was a knock down during a play and Seth stepped up to try to mediate. Muscles flexed, nostrils flared, eyes wide and then narrowed to a gun sight punch, just that close to a beat-down.
This attempt to address the conflict illicited as much hostility and violent responses from the potential combatants towards us, as they had for each other.
"Step off you Oreo bitch! This ain’t your problem, an ya’ll getting in my buidness aint your right. "
"This is MAN shit here, Muffukka!!! You little bitches got no say in it…Punk ass, fluffy bitches."
tried to calm them, just talking in a low voice, to redirect the anger, it of course got worse.
"Whoah, what I see? You rich ass white pretty boy talking stupid shit at me? I will fuck you up in a fast minute!"
There were those spectators that had wanted the fight to take place. Our actions had broken their code of conduct.
“Faggits," someone sneered...
The agitators stormed away, from the crowd, staring us all down.
In group, later on, the doddering ex drunk counselors tried to get those involved in the conflict on the court to “process” and “decompress” from it. It was insipid, poorly mediated by the counselors, guys just ranting and raving, self - righteous hostile tirades when they spoke.
Until Effrom spoke, there had been no truth in that room.
“ I is tired of all y'all bullshit, I ain't hearin' nothing but a lot of stuff 'bout what every body done to y'all, what made y'all smoke crack, or rob whoever."
“I is older than a lot y'all put together, an I see youse gonna be on slabs or doin' hard time. Y'all can’t even play a game without bullshit happenin'?
“Me? I know I done wrong in my life. That’s why I’s here, I's here to get well.
“I seen to much static in my years to not know that y'all just got's to wake up…
“You frontin’ on stupid shit an’ not wakin' up to yo own crimes is gonna break you all. Y'all should be ashamed you pullin’ this prison moves with anyone.
Y'all ain't in prison. Y'all gonna be there you keep actin like savages!
“Those boys there was just tryin’ ta be civilized.”
Effrom very pointedly indicated myself and Seth.
No one spoke, eyes were on the floor.
The group closed with a prayer and sullen silence.
One afternoon after all programs were concluded I was out looking for kindling for that night’s bonfires. All the staff thought I had OCD because I had just developed a knack for bringing back every straw-sized bit of twig and brush I could find. In my animated state I was relentless, like I had a laser focus for every flammable sliver in the forest.
This day that Seth and I were sexual together, I was alone on the far periphery of the treatment center campus when he came up to me to talk.
We had both strayed pretty far out and where we were right now, we were invisible to staff or anyone else who wasn’t looking for us.
Seth's shirt was open and I could see his soft, almost breast-like pectorals, and this time he first caught me staring.
He flipped then through his notebook absently and then asked me if the meds made me horny.
“Yeah a little”, I said… “but I can’t jerk off when I am on them, sometimes though, tried for hours once, I can’t cum…. Its weird.
“Yeah,” Seth continued, “That Prozac shit makes me horny as all, but Yeah, well even my heart feels horny, too, sometimes”… he said, opening his shirt a little more, playing absently with the big triangular nipple that topped his soft pectoral:
“I just want to have adrenalized love encounters with the whole world, you know?" he declared. “The whole world….”
There was an awkward silence between me and Seth. He was looking at me intently and I was certainly trying to be sure of him, absolutely…
I had to be sure…
But once the little flirting games began in earnest it would now be up to me, I figured.
“Other people don’t understand people like us,” Seth continued, “we understand and experience things that they don’t, ya know?”
“Yeah?” I said, inching closer to him.
“Yeah, like maybe…” I interrupted his thought and reached over and placed my fingers inside of his shirt, right on his soft, dark boy breast. I squeezed and stroked gently.
“We could do stuff for each other, to make us feel good,” he said, looking down at my hand in his shirt, as my fingers twirled undulated slowly on his nipple.
“Oh yeah”, Seth said far to quickly to now maintain the pretense of being blasé about any kind of seduction that would take place between us…
His breathing got heavy.
“Let's go further," Seth said in a conspiratorial tone, almost whispering, even though no one was around that I could see.
He gestured, pointing into the forest
“Ok, yeah," I said softly leaning towards him, tilting my head, lips pursed ever so slightly.
The kiss, when it happened, would seal the deal.
Seth’s eyes were suddenly alive, his hazel irises glowing with a happy triumph.
He kissed me full on the lips and then took me by the hand, pulling me insistently deeper into the woods.
We stopped when he felt we were far enough and his arms encircled me, my hands caressed his chest.
He clumsily pulled me closer and our mouths found each other again, more and more till we weren’t truly aware of anything but our bodies pressed and grasping and the hardening in our crotches. There were no sounds but wet lips and rasping breath.
I fumbled at his belt, and his eyes got wide again.
“I have no fear. I just connect with it all, you know?” he said
I nodded, but truthfully I just didn’t care what he was saying, I was now unzipping his khaki’s.
Yes, we could feel so loved, Seth murmured almost deliriously
And as I pushed him down firmly to sit on a large tree root, he uttered a “thank you”.
I plucked at the last button that remained and there was the form of his rigid penis straining at his boxers, I got the band slid down and got my fist around him and he grunted, kind of looking at me, helplessly.
Maybe he had never done this before?
I knelt down as he fell back against the base of the tree. I pulled down his pants and then his boxers to his ankles and he thrashed to kick them all the way off.
I was now at his crotch, his chocolate colored erection straining near my lips
“Oh yes, please,” he murmured
I spread his thighs further apart and could admire his member more closely:Iit was a bit darker in tone than the rest of him, sprouting from a messy scraggle of pitch black pubic hair. His cock was there, already oozing a pearl of pre ejaculate and I took the new found bulb of his cock head in my mouth and suckled at it enthusiastically.
Seth mumbled grateful, incoherent sounds as I slobbered and worked the shaft and balls with my hands till it was seemingly a grateful eel bathed in a slippery film.
It wasn’t long before Seth bucked, thrust his pelvis towards me and spurted a hot, gunky mess in my mouth.
I swallowed, efficiently, and as his breathing shallowed and slowed I used the mixture from my mouth that remained to stroke myself to a quick climax. But as I did so, became aware of a presence in my peripheral vision.
I was alarmed but unwilling to stop stroking myself to the end, I suckled at his softening tube as I built toward orgasm.
He grunted and hissed, a bit but didn’t stop me as I continued to manipulate his cock with my lips and tongue my chin duly slicked with cum and saliva.
Seth was seemingly unaware of the fact that we were possibly being watched.
But then, in a flash the presence in my peripheral vision was gone and I ejaculated in three, thoroughly draining but ever so slightly painful, spurts.
It was almost sunset when we got back to the center, but nobody seemed to notice us gone. We were both in that beautiful, hormonal, post orgasm haze.
It was understood that we would separate so as not to enter the compound at the same time. We would not talk again that night, secretly sharing our hidden music with ourselves.
That night we bunked in the barracks like everybody else did, and slept better than anybody did, I am sure.
The next day between groups Seth approached me secretively and told me of an empty single dorm room with a made up bed that was in the upstairs on the other side of the main building.
"They think it’s locked, man, we should sneak in there during elective time, and use the bed together. I promise, I will be all over you man," he said with a sly smile. Then he disappeared like he was some sort of sage.
Maybe he had done this before…
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/gay-male/maple-grove-treatment-center-1995-.aspx">Maple Grove Treatment Center 1995 – from a scrawl from memory #1</a>