Conrad clicked the lighter shut as he took a long drag of his fifth cigarette of the day.  

“Are you sure you want to do this?  Like really sure?”

“They don’t call it a calling for nothing, North.”

Conrad North and Peter Kjellsson were sitting outside this fifties-themed diner, having just finished their burgers, and Peter was slowly slurping his shake, as his best friend since fifth grade chain-smoked as he had at any available moment since eighth grade.  

“Seriously though, Pete, the priesthood?  Can you really go the rest of your life without sex? I thought you wanted a family with ten kids and a  big messy house and to be  Dad of the year or some shit?”   Conrad asked as smoke came out of his nose. 

Pete ran his hand over his dirty blonde, very curly hair,  and sighed.  “When you get called,  you have to listen. Do you remember the story of Jonah and the whale?”

“Most whales eat other things like krill or plankton.  I’m just saying,  give it some real thought before you resign your dick to a life of solitude. I don’t want to read some news article about you being one of those Catholic priests having broken the vow of chastity in an illegal way...”

“You won’t.  I mean.  I barely have any sexual experience anyway. It’s not like I know what I am missing all that much.”

Conrad stamped the cigarette out with his Chuck Taylor sneaker and exhaled the smoke out of his nose again. In the late, crisp, autumn air,  the smoke was really clear and gave Conrad the aura of a bull or a minotaur, which made sense considering the labyrinth of life examination this conversation held. 

“Maybe you should.  You know, find out.  Hire a hooker or something?  I can help you look for one.”  

Conrad moved from sitting on the table to sitting back in the chair like a normal person. His eyes were almond-shaped and ink-black but bright with excitement at the thought of helping his friend get laid.

While Peter was a chubby, round-faced, wet dream of manhood with too much curly platinum blonde hair, wispy on his head. Conrad was tree bark brown  And clearly given an Anglo-sounding name to distract from that. His black hair was sleek and shiny. He looked like a Bollywood movie star. He could run his hands through his hair and make people swoon. He also had the physique that screamed a relationship with some sort of a fitness routine. 

“I am not sure how I feel about a hooker. I would rather it be with someone I know.  I feel like a hooker would  … make it hard for me to … perform.”  

The fact that the soon-to-be-priest was even entertaining his friend’s suggestion about a hooker, to basically bang his brains out before he goes to Seminary school in a few months,  spoke volumes to how much he’d already considered such a thing. 

Conrad buzzed his lips in thought.   “Well,  have you got anyone in mind?  I know you dated Michelle for like  five seconds in sophomore year, and asked Rachel to prom, just so you didn’t have to go alone but  beyond that, I don’t really know what you like”

“I don’t think I do either.”

Conrad exhaled a scoffing laugh.  “Well,  what do you think about when you jerk off?”

Peter suddenly became interested in his shake and started slurping it to keep from talking for a moment.   Conrad waited patiently and was contemplating taking out another cigarette.

“I don’t really know, I mean I just think about how much I need to cum. Over and over. Till I do.”

“So … urgency turns you on?  That need to release and unload into someone,  anyone, or anything, just ….the ache, the build, and the gushing finish, and sweet relief”  Conrad deduced perceptively.

Peter fidgeted in his seat a little bit and looked over at Conrad, his chest, and how his shirt clung to his body,  and the stubble on his chin,  and how his nostrils naturally flared upward a bit, reminding him of minotaurs again. He looked away.  Feeling his body getting hard, at the thought of unloading all over his friend’s face,  or taking him with reckless abandon in the nearby alleyway.

“Yeah.  You could say that”   he replied awkwardly. 

Conrad sniffed the air as if he could smell how aroused Peter was, or just had a runny nose, either way, the timing of that sharp inhale fucked with Peter’s mind. Conrad turned that dark gaze and caught Peter’s and their gaze held for a moment. Conrad licked his lips.   “Yes,”  he said as if reading the need on Peter’s face. 

“Here?”

“The alley, over there.”

The blonde’s gaze flicked over to the alley indicated, then got up and tossed his empty cup and  Conrad got up after him, and together they walked kind of fast across to the alley. Peter pushed Conrad to the brick wall and started making out with him hungrily.  Conrad started groping and squeezing Peter’s ass. Both of them were growing hard and aching in their pants.  “I’ve dreamt of this for a while,”  Conrad whispered. 

“You’re a really good kisser,” Peter replied.  And slipped his hand under Conrad’s shirt and Conrad moaned as he moved to unbuckle Peter’s pants and his hands started to stroke Peter’s cock slowly, Peter broke the kiss.  “We need some lube or something, right?”

“Spit.  Just spit in my ass, I’ll be fine.”

Peter unfastened Conrad’s pants and pushed them down a bit.  Conrad turned around and pressed himself to the brick,  as  Peter started stroking his own cock a moment before leaning down to spit in Conrad’s ass and wiggle two fingers in a bit to rub it in a bit, then spit on his hand and rubbed it on his cock before  Conrad pushed his ass toward him as  Peter stood and slid his cock in with a powerful, hungry, throbbing thrust.  He exhaled roughly and actually swore, taking the Lord’s name in vain as he started fucking his friend against the wall.  

“Fucking Christ, you feel so good,  fuck, oh god, oh god….”  Peter moaned and pulled Conrad’s hips with both hands onto his cock, impaling himself onto him over and over again.  Conrad was gagging himself with his fist, muffling his sounds.  Eyes closed tight and one hand stroked his cock in time to  Peter’s thrusts.  

“I’m about to cum, oh god, I’m about to cum.  Oh god, oh god,  fuuck,  I’m cumming!”  Peter moaned then thrust hard into Conrad, who then made a pain sound but his cum was spraying all over the asphalt between his shoes as he felt  Peter’s load just fill him up.  

“Oh my god. Oh my god.  Conrad… oh my god.” Peter panted just leaning against his friend’s back to catch his breath a moment before pulling out and tucking himself away and zipping his pants up.  Conrad got dressed again too.  And sniffed again and leaned in and kissed Peter full on the lips, this time, the kiss was tender and heartfelt. And when he pulled away they locked eyes again. 

“Something for you to think about, Father. As I have your calling card dripping out of my ass.  Come on,  let me get you home,   you still have a lot of packing  left to do, if I know you.”

“You do know me.  I barely packed a single thing.  Maybe you can help me.” Peter said.  The innuendo of wanting a second round was clearly in his voice.  Conrad smirked.   

“Maybe I will,”  he confirmed.  

They made their way to Conrad’s car. And Peter put on his seat belt when he turned and said.   “There are other denominations that allow clergy to have sexual relations,” he said as if he had just realized this bit of truth. 

Conrad lit another cigarette and rolled the window down a bit to help the smoke go out as he started the car.   “That is very true. You just have to tell your very Catholic parents that you are converting to a Protestant Denomination.”

“True. Which may be easier than telling them that I am definitely not straight.”

And that pulled a laugh from Conrad.   “Hate to break this to you, but I think they already suspect that.  They probably think we are fooling around on a regular basis,  anyway.  We do spend a great deal of time with each other.”

Peter hummed contemplatively as the car drove off toward his house.  They sat in silence for a while before he boldly reached over and took Conrad’s hand.  And felt his heart skip a beat when Conrad accepted having his handheld and gave Peter’s hand a very firm but gentle squeeze.