It had taken me a full ten minutes to realise that my girlfriend and I had wandered into a den of lesbian iniquity. It was disguised as a pub come nightclub and was populated by around ninety-nine per cent gay people, not that I minded because I didn’t. I considered myself the one per cent that was not outright gay, but I was considering my options at that time and had dabbled a little with my hands and lips.

The pub seemed to be divided into discrete areas. The walkway between the bar and towards the dancefloor was populated with the male gay community, mostly, though most of them seemed to be pretending to be women by wearing dresses that showed off a healthy amount of chest hair poking above their brazier. The Parisian area was upstairs and populated by couples and groups of people wanting some special time together, in the quieter and romantic setting, consisting of couples or more likely, swingers.

We liked that area because my girlfriend and I counted ourselves as members of that growing group of individuals that needed to experiment with their sex lives. But we headed back downstairs to the bar and the huge lesbian quarter that populated the dancefloor area and the route to the toilets.

I know what you’re thinking, why had it taken ten minutes to determine the kind of pub that we had entered? Well, that’s because I blindly followed my girlfriend into the pub thinking that we were going for a drink.

“This is the place,” she said as we walked along the busy streets of London. So I followed her into the pub and through the mass of people to a spare slot near the bar.

“I’ll get the drinks,” she said and found a place to squeeze into while she waited for the person in front of her to vacate their spot.

“Find us a place to stand,” she said, which I did and I made my way to the side of the pub, close to the dancefloor and unfortunately, the loud music too. It conveniently had a small shelf along the wall, upon which we could place our drinks. I thought I had done pretty well in finding this place but I hadn’t bargained on how long it would take her to get the drinks.

I started eyeing the women around me and my eyes settled on one in particular on the other side of the room, also leaning against the wall. I should have realised I had no chance with her as I watched her eye every female ass that walked past her going to the toilets. Still, her red lipstick and blonde hair did it for me.

She smiled in my direction. I hadn’t bargained on her realising I was watching her, but I must have made it too obvious. It was only afterwards that I realised that the guys in here were not looking at the women at all. Only the women were. My mistake.

It wasn’t until I looked in the direction of my girlfriend, in an attempt to speed up the drinking process, that I noticed she was in deep conversation with a dark-haired woman standing next to her. I did a double-take and was about to move over to her when I noticed the woman’s hand rest gently on her backside as they chatted.

That was my cue; my reason to look around the room and view everyone closely. Like detective Colombo, I came to the only conclusion I could. It was a bit like knowing that everyone is innocent and it’s the one helping you solve the murder that is the guilty one.

The person helping me solve this murder was my girlfriend and, in hindsight, she looked as guilty as hell as she smiled back at the woman, her hand on her shoulder as she chatted to her ten-to-the-dozen. I’m sure it had been her turn to get served several times over but she was content on chatting.

I slowly came to realise that the place was different; a different crowd of people, different attitudes to life and different energy to the place.

My gaze fell upon the blonde on the other side of the room. Now, let me tell you, I have a dark side and have always fancied turning a lesbian. I know, it’s a strange kind of darkness, darker than the darkest Knight’s night out in Gotham City. But I wanted, so desperately, to make a lesbian realise that cock is better. In fairness, I knew it was, because I’d sucked on one.

So I proceeded to entertain the idea that blondie, on the other side of the room, could do better than look at all that female ass that teased the shit out of her and direct her attention between my groin instead. After all, she didn’t seem to be with anyone in particular, probably because of the schoolgirl outfit she was wearing making her look far too young. You have to be careful these days.  You just can’t pick up anyone for a quick fuck in case you get in trouble. Especially a lesbian.

I was in two minds to walk over to her and start chatting, but my eye was drawn to my girlfriend. She was getting served. I saw her lean over the bar and shout at the barmaid. I could see the barmaid wasn’t looking in her eyes, because her buttoned shirt was open and her tits must have been pressed hard on the edge of the bar. If it had been a bloke sporting a cocktail shaker, I think he would have lost his top and spurted over other residents queuing for liquid sustenance. Thankfully, the dark-haired woman’s hand was no longer on her ass. No, it had found itself down her jeans and she was, uncomfortably or so it seemed, getting her fingers wet in the process.

I moved my position so that I could look at my girlfriend's face and bumped into Sally. As soon as we touched I heard her announce her name. His name. I smiled and held out my hand. I don’t know why I did that because Sally just looked at it as if it was from an episode of the Addams Family. It may well have been, I always wondered where that hand got to in the middle of the night and often fantasised that Morticia lay in bed cradling it between her thighs. Remember how that finger used to wiggle.

I was polite to Sally, who I have to say looked remarkably attractive with her lovely lips and beautiful smile and apart from the hair, which was a fashioned blonde wig and the black chest hair, I think I would have given her one after checking ‘down there’ for any obvious accessories in true Crocodile Dundee fashion.

I made my excuses to Sally and as I left their company was thankful that the angry frown from her boyfriend had receded to more manageable levels of discontent. I once more turned my attention to my girlfriend. Drinks were placed in front of her, payment was being handed over and I could see that relief was plastered all over her face when the money was released.

It wasn’t so much that she had managed to secure us a couple of drinks by paying for them, it was that she was having an orgasm from the dark-haired girl’s fingers, which had busied themselves down her jeans and inside her knickers as she leaned over the bar. I could see her hand pulsing up and down, bending at the knuckles, as she held her still between fingers and thumb and a firm hand on her ass. The barmaid just smiled in their direction, obviously aware as to what was going on.

I felt left out as if I was home alone and watching an episode of The Little House on the Prairie, wondering when the couple were going to kiss, if ever. The inside of this pub was far more advanced than anything I had seen on television. I suddenly expected strange people (not that anyone in the pub were strange) to come up to me ask me to take a sex pill and place our hands together to make out. That wasn’t something I had had on my agenda that evening and my girlfriend had already found out the more common way to have sex.

I walked up to the both of them rather slowly. I didn’t want to startle the dark-haired girl after she had had so much fun with my girlfriend’s pussy, and I certainly didn’t want to force my authority on them by saying, ‘Hi, I’m Dave and this is my girlfriend. Fuck off.’ No, I wanted to be far more subtle than that; a more reasonable and forgiving sort of person. So, I sidled up to both of them and casually put my arm around my girlfriend’s shoulder, just as the dark-haired girl pulled her hand from the confines of her jeans.

“Hi,” I started. “I see you’ve got our drinks,” I said, directing my words to my girlfriend. “That took a while,” I added.

I then turned to the dark-haired girl.

“She doesn’t normally take that long,” I said, “she’s normally climaxed four times in that space of time with my cock inside her.”

I held out my hand to shake hers.

“I see you’ve met Lezza. My name’s Dave,” I said.

She offered me her hand, which I took.

“It’s a bit wet,” I commented, “would you mind?”

I lifted her hand to suck off Lezza’s juices, thereby depriving her of doing the same after she had navigated the Straits of Blondie on her way to the toilets.

She looked at me with an intriguing smile on her face. Lezza handed me a pint of beer which I was more than thankful for.

“Dave, this is Helen,” Lezza told me, as she handed Helen a cocktail.

“Nice to meet you, Helen,” I countered. My hand rested on Lezza’s bum as she turned to face both of us with a similar cocktail in her hand. It was the first time I saw her voluptuous frame and her wonderful breasts. They looked just about right and I immediately started to fantasise about four tits dangling in my face. It wouldn’t have been a first, but it would have been welcome. I parked the thought.

“Helen wants to come home with us,” she announced.

“Really?” I said.

I was excited. The thought I had parked earlier was out of the garage and engines were running on hot. I couldn’t believe my luck; a lesbian wanted to come home with us so that I could fuck her. How brilliant was that?

Helen nodded eagerly and her broad smile brightened up my life.

“I’d love to,” Helen nodded. “You have such a juicy girlfriend. How could I say no?”

“That’s great,” I splattered out. “You’d love my cock when it slides into you. Trust me.”

Lezza rolled her eyes. Helen glanced in her direction, her eyebrows furrowed and a worried look came over her face as she shook her head.

“Is it better than chocolate?” asked Helen, with a smile.

I nodded, not quite sure what to say to that, but in my opinion, it would be better than chocolate any day of the week. I put it down to Helen’s aphrodisiomania, which in this case was food-related. My heart rate had increased significantly in reaction to Helen’s active imagination and I wouldn’t have minded if she had spread peanut butter over my cock before I fucked her, if that was what she wanted.

My body was undergoing a period of erogenesis and I downed my drink in one go eager to get both of these women home to the confines of our bed.

We left the pub and jollied along the sidewalk of Old London Town. Chatting and playfully grabbing each other around the waist now and then. I ran across the road to grab a tub of Wrigley’s spearmint from a local stallholder and was confronted with both women trying to swallow the other’s tongue when I got back to them. Each had a hand on the other woman’s breast as they both lapped and prodded their bodies.

The only thought that came to mind was that they should get a room and then I remembered that that room would be ours. At the block of flats, we were lucky that the lift was empty, because Lezza had extracted Helen’s breast from her t-shirt and was actively sucking on her nipple. I was holding Lezza’s breasts from underneath her body as she feasted on the equally sizeable ones either side of her head. My cock was hard and if we had had more than three floors left then, I would have slipped it inside her.

By the time we stumbled through the front door of our apartment, both girls were topless. Removing their tops and bras as they exited the lift and running frantically towards our flat. Not realising that it was I that had the keys. They stood there trying to make me hurry towards them, by shaking their hands. I just watched their breasts shake and took smaller steps hoping that someone would exit from one of the other rooms.

Once inside, handbags were thrown on the floor and remaining clothes were hastily removed until the girls were naked. The kissing resumed, the fondling re-commenced and both girls busied themselves by pawing at each other, as they stumbled towards the bed.

I wriggled out of my trousers, shoes and socks and watched as they underwent a period of frottage like they were making butter out of cream. It was wonderful to watch and I think my cock watched more than I did, eagerly raising its head to see over the edge of the bed.

Watching both women worship their tit flesh was like watching the Blob devour its suspects by delving into their mouths. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I stroked my cock just for amusement. My concentration was focused on Helen’s cunt as she started to move and climb on top of Lezza. I had wanted this so much and was convinced she would love my stiff pride-and-joy to slide into her cock-virgin territory.

I was salivating at the thought and my cock was infested with a copious amount of pre-cum, all of which was rubbed in with my overactive hand. An opportunity presented itself. Helen mounted Lezza and started to lick her pussy. Her brazen and shaved snatch was open to my gaze as was her love-heart shaped buttocks. My cock leapt upwards and I started to take my position before her upturned bottom.

I levelled my cock to her pussy and relief flooded my mind. It was a tick in the box for bucket list number twenty. I had done it. I had fucked a lesbian. And after I’d fucked her, turned her to the dark side.

I was inches away from her juicy slit and listening to Lezza moan and groan beneath her. She was on the verge of orgasm and was frantically pulling at Helen’s hair to get her mouth closer to the scene of the eruption.

I know from experience that Krakatoa has nothing on Lezza. When she cums, she erupts all over the place and the tsunami results in total destruction. I wanted to be inside Helen when that happened to stop her from shying away from the deluge of juices.

At that precise moment, Helen jumped upwards and shimmied to the side. She slid off the side of the bed turned and ran out of the room.

“Fuck,” she cried, “need the loo, be right back.”

Lezza looked at me with despair written all over her face. I looked at her with the same face.

“Eat me.” She was adamant that I should do that and when Lezza gets in that state you just have to obey her.

I laid my cock on the bed and nestled between her thighs and started to eat at her fountain of love. She started to move backwards with the sensitivity and I started to follow her. The stalemate ended when I placed my hands underneath her bottom and over her hips and pulled her onto my tongue. My wet muscle fucked her honey pot in a way that would have made Baloo the bear extremely jealous. I was glued to her cunt and I was licking as if my life depended on it. I didn’t see Helen enter the room, my face was buried in my girlfriend’s snatch and loving it. I never heard any strange sounds, because Lezza was screaming the flat down telling the whole world that she was cumming. I never even felt the bed move when Helen climbed onto it because I was so engrossed in making Lezza flood my mouth.

It was just after one of my hands left Lezza’s waist to grab her tit that I realised something was wrong. My body was prostrate on the bed, but my knees were bent under me as if I was praying to some God of sex juices. I was licking like an animalistic maniac.

The cold hand on my backside was of some concern, but I had put that down to her freshly washed hands in cold water and eagerly awaited for her to wriggle underneath me and get her lesbian lips over my bulbous cock head. The finger in my backside was the second cause for concern and I made the mistake of moaning into Lezza’s pussy as the intrusion pierced me.

I didn’t know why Lezza hadn’t already exploded with four orgasms and came to the conclusion that she was practising some form of tantra as by that time my sexual prowess was overflowing.

Needless to say, as Lezza pulled me into her juicy pussy, my eyes opened wide. I wasn’t expecting it. In fact, I was hoping to be in the same position with roles reversed, but I couldn’t move. I had Lezza’s legs tight against the side of my head, my face squashed to a rampant juicy orifice and a hot woman’s thighs pressing into my backside from behind.

A blowjob would have been preferable, but I felt a sizeable cockhead enter my anus and it was going far beyond its remit. Far beyond was a bit of an understatement. By the time I had gasped out loud about four or five times, it was nowhere to be seen. A bit like the invisible man on a good day.

I felt Helen’s hands grab my waist and I was urged, by her, to keep licking. As a dutiful boyfriend, I did as I was told. I felt her cock rewind its journey, but I knew the feeling would be short-lived and before I knew it, a harrumph had escaped my mouth and entered Lezza’s pussy as Helen’s cock thrust itself back into me with some force.

Let’s just say it wasn’t the kind of troilism I was expecting, though by the sound of the words that came out of Lezza’s mouth as she watched me get fucked and the joyous words that came out of Helen’s mouth, it would be fair to say that I was in the minority, though I didn’t want to be. At that moment I wished that I was one of the Tomorrow people and capable of miraculously teleporting myself to be behind Helen while pressing her forward into Lezza’s pussy.

It seemed that both Lezza and Helen had colluded against me and had preyed on my eagerness to bed a lesbian so much so that it was becoming pleasurable.

With me pinned like an animal in a fleshy cage, Lezza flooded my mouth. It was obvious what she was waiting for and that was for her accomplice to take her firing position behind me and like a rabbit caught in headlights I gave them the opportunity.

The room was full of sexual arousal and dare I say it, pheromones. Neither of them stopped until Lezza and I flooded the sheets with cum. Even then, Helen was reticent to pull out of my backside entrance, such was the ferocity and depth of her feral need.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Lezza crawled from under me and whispered something in her ear I think she would still have her strap-on buried deep in me.

It was the thought of her lying on her back so that Lezza could do the honours to her that made her slip it out, letting my body collapse onto the bed. The girls were at it for hours. I eventually went into the spare bedroom to get some sleep and let them get on with their depraved games of licking, sucking, tonguing, fingering, fucking and tribbing.

Though I did set the alarm for when I thought they would get around to tribbing. That was something I just had to watch.

And that was how Helen the lesbian was turned to the DarkSide. I think!