I had no idea why neither Adam nor Jenny answered their phones but it was nine o’clock and I was getting out the car at Adam’s apartment complex. I waved goodbye to Larissa and walked to the door of the building. I was about to press the buzzer when one of Adam’s neighbours appeared at the door and let me in on his way out.
“Thanks” I smiled politely at him. I trudged up the two flights of stairs, digging the key Adam had lent me earlier in the day out of my pocket as I went. When I unlocked the door and walked in I noticed how quiet it was. They must be watching a film or something I thought to myself. I went to walk through the kitchen to go to the lounge when I noticed that the dinner was half prepared on the side. Weird.
Curiosity beginning to rise, I stuck my head through the living room door but it was completely dark. Nobody was in there. That was weird too, had they gone out and not told me? Or maybe they’d both just gone to bed early.
I walked down the hallway when I came to mine and Jenny’s bedroom pushed it open, but it was empty. Finally, I came to Adam’s bedroom and it was closed so I knocked gently. No answer. When I twisted the handle and the door swung open I almost fainted. My big sister and big brother were sprawled out across the bed, naked and barely covered by a blanket.
“What the fuck?” I screamed, bolting from the doorway and slamming the door behind me. I ran straight to the other bedroom, tears streaming down my face. I slammed that door behind me as well before bolting to my bed and hiding beneath the covers, crying into the soft sheets.
I heard a knock at the door through my sobbing. Then my brothers soft voice.
“Cass,” he pleaded. “Cass can I come in?”
When I didn’t respond he let himself in slowly and tiptoed over to my bed. Clearly he was unsure how I would react. I did nothing to stop him so he sat on the edge of my bed while I continued sobbing.
“Cass,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry you had to see that.” Still I did not respond.
“Cassie really, I am sorry. I know you must think me and your sister are disgusting and you’re probably pretty confused right now but...”
“I’m not confused.. I..I’m so fucking angry!” I cut him off, my voice shaking at first, but turning firm as I reached the end of my sentence.
That threw him.
“And I’m not disgusted either.” Now he couldn’t conceal the confusion from his face when I looked up into his eyes.
“I’m jealous,” I finished off, admitting the ugly truth.
ADAM
I’d never been more shocked in my life. For ten seconds I said nothing whilst I registered what Cassie had said. She was jealous? Jealous?!
“You’re jealous?” I whispered, my confusion clearly shining through. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not a kid anymore Adam,” she explained, her eyes portraying some kind of hurt. “I get real feelings about boys.” I just looked at her with a blank expression. She sighed and sat up.
“What I’m trying to say is, why?” I thought that was the end of her explanation because she paused for a few seconds.
“Why what?” I frowned, still not catching on.
“Why Jenny? And why not me?” she confessed. I was crestfallen and couldn’t help but move to wipe away the tear that rolled down the cheek as she said those last three words.
“I... er... I...” Lost for words; completely and utterly lost for words. She looked at me expectantly. “Look Cass…” Nope, still nothing. When she realised I had nothing to say she whimpered and turned over.
What could I do? Obviously I loved and cared for my youngest sister. But not in that way. Not the same way I loved Jenny. Poor little Cassie. My heart ached and I didn’t know what to do. The guilt I felt was immeasurable. Seeing her facing the wall crying her little heart out because of me was the worst part of it.
All of a sudden she turned around, determination in her eyes, taking me by surprise. She was upon me. She moved so quick and was somehow sat on my lap and before I knew it her wet little mouth was upon mine, frantically. At first I resisted. Then the carnal need inside me took over.
I took down a couple layers of the barrier I had instantly created and that was all the encouragement Cassie needed. Her kiss grew more fierce and her tongue pushed into my mouth. And I responded.
She was not ‘Little Cassie' anymore; she was a fiery, stunning, redheaded sixteen year old and she wanted me. I let the kiss carry on unguarded for about ten seconds before I pictured my eighteen year old sister Jenny, probably curled up in my bed crying and scared of what was going to happen. Then I broke the kiss.
“Shit Cass, what the fuck?” I asked breathlessly.
She stood up, tears completely gone now, just sheer gritty determination on her face. “I’m not a kid anymore Adam. I want you, hell, I need you. And it hurts that I can’t have you. That your heart has already been stolen by none other than our sister,” she said, fiercely guarding the hurt she was obviously feeling. The last word she uttered was loud, angry, but confused.
“Oh and by the way, you look fucking amazing in just your boxers,” she let out a whimper and strode out of the room, once again slamming the door and leaving me completely speechless. What the hell just happened.
JENNY
I stared helplessly after Adam when he left to talk to Cassie. I was just so mortified. What did Cassie think of me? Was she going to tell our parents? What was going to happen now? Was I going to lose my sister forever? Would my brother call it all off? So many questions plagued my mind. I thought about going after them both. I stood up and put my discarded clothes back on but couldn’t bring myself to leave the room.
Instead I curled up in Adam’s bed, fighting back tears and trying to listen to what was happening. I couldn’t hear anything for a while, then my sisters raised voice but too muffled to make anything out.
Then there was silence for about five minutes and then Cassie’s raised voice again. This time I caught one word; sister. Said with what sounded like hatred. Then a slamming of the door and footsteps disappearing into the bathroom.
I finally let the tears break through my defenses, sure that my little sister now hated me. When the bedroom door creaked open and I turned to see a haunted look on my brother’s face I turned away and cried heavily into the pillow.
I felt the bed sink a bit as he sat down and pulled me into his arms, stroking my hair softly and rhythmically.
“What did she say?” I whispered. Silence for about a minute, just the sound of Adam’s heart beating fast near my ear.
“She’s jealous Jen,” a pause to allow that to sink in, which of course it did not.
“Jenny, she kissed me,” a low murmur but I made it out and the hand that I had been stroking Adam’s chest with froze as my whole body tensed.
“And what did you do?” I whispered back barely audible.
“I resisted…” he said. Some form of relief began to spread until he spoke again. “At first, I resisted at first,” he admitted, shame filled his voice and my heart almost stopped.
I did not respond straight away. Just stayed deadly still, trying to process it.
“Jen?” he spoke softly but I still could not reply. “Jenny, believe me when I say I’m sorry and I didn’t intend it to happen. In fact, it’s like I didn’t even know it was happening and when my conscious mind kicked in I stopped her immediately.”
I found my voice. “Adam, what we have shared, does it mean anything to you?” I was still clinging to his chest, I didn’t want to move despite his revelation.
“Of course it does Jen, like I said I didn’t even intend to do it. I’m still so confused as to what even happened,” he did seem pretty confused, and I’d been in his situation before. Maybe he was telling the truth and it was a genuine mistake. He wasn’t thinking as himself. But why would Cassie do that to me? I had no idea she felt that way. Did she even feel that way? Maybe she was just hot for Adam, not in love with him. A plan began to formulate in my head. When I did not respond he spoke again, turning my face to look up at his.
“Look Jenny, I love Cass, but only as a brother. The love I feel for you is something different, something stronger. I’m sorry for what I did,” his eyes were not lying. How could I not forgive those eyes?
“What about Cassie?” I said in a small voice. His eyes darkened and a troubled look crossed over his face.
“I really don’t know,” he said honestly, “I’m pretty sure she is not going to go telling anybody about us which is something. But I don’t want to lose a sister Jen.” I agreed with him completely but I could only see one way that we could both avoid losing the affection of little Cassie forever.
“Maybe, you could, help her out…” The faintest of whispers escaped my mouth but my brother picked up every word of what I said. A look I can’t describe crossed his face. Guilt? Confusion? Uneasiness? Surprise? The faintest hint of a smile? I could usually decipher Adam pretty well but not this time.
I waited for him to respond, half-wishing he would dismiss my idea completely, but knowing there wasn’t another way.
“Are you sure Jen?” okay I got it then. He was unsure but also, excited. He liked the idea. To be honest, it gutted me a little bit, but I tried not to let jealousy consume me.
“I see no other way,” I whispered, unsure now that it was being discussed as a viable option. “Just, tell me again Adam…” I knew I did not have to say what I wanted to hear.
“I love you, Jennifer,” he said, sincerity oozing from the words. He leant in towards me and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I felt a sense of loss when he stole his lips away from mine and rose from the bed, putting on his trousers as he did.
“Adam, just promise me you’ll make sure she knows who you love. She can share your body, but don’t break my heart.” I said knowing and trusting in him to do this already, but needing the clarity. He nodded in response and drifted silently out of the room.
Some people may think the decision I made was stupid, and maybe it was. But I did the only thing I could think of doing which would allow me to keep my brother (and lover) as well as my sister.
