I remember this like it was a minute ago, but in reality it's been years since his fingertips engraved every inch of me.
Embark with me on this story of how Josh and I dismissed the fact that we were the same blood.

---

Me and Josh, although closely related, never met until I was eleven and he turned twelve. He is from a completely different continent, and our families are thousands of miles apart. They came over to visit Europe and decided to stop by our home. Josh and I didn't talk a lot,  we just played around like kids usually do while parents were talking about adult things. They only stayed for one night at our place. That night, we checked his emails together and then went to sleep (I know we seemed young for the whole e-mail checking but apparently he had some important school stuff on there). Next day, he and his family left, and I didn't think much of anything.

Fast forward a few years to when I was in high school, lacking friends, a bit depressed and addicted to Chatroulette.

Usually I'd come home from school, drop my bag, open my computer and change into my Chatroulette clothes - something not too revealing but not even close to decent. Usually a good push-up bra and a plain black tank-top, red lipstick, thin eyeliner and my hair would either be slightly curled, or, as I called this other style, Pornstar Pigtails. Either way, I felt hot and ready for all the sticky, warm, nasty attention I'd be getting from these cokeheads on Chatroulette. Then, after a few hours of being eye candy and touching myself for those men - watching them drool for me and desire me like a forbidden element - I'd close my computer, take everything off, and finally (exhausted and happy) go to sleep. That was my way of getting the validation I never had in real life, the validation that I'm good enough.

As I was browsing my phone before I went to sleep, I instinctively looked at the date.

Hmm... I must be missing something, this date has a meaning, I know it. Oh. Of course, it's Josh's birthday!

I knew that because my mom always mentioned his birthday and we'd call them and wish him the best, but today we hadn't done that so I never gave much thought to it. Either way, I wanted to find a way to contact him, by myself, in order to send him my best wishes. I thought long and hard and I couldn't get anywhere. Mom was asleep; I didn't know his family's phone number...

But...

Wait a minute.

Fuck, I can't believe I remembered his e-mail address! I thought as I started writing him an e-mail with the subject "Happy Birthday from far away". The e-mail went as follows:

Dear Josh,
Happy birthday! I wish you all the best, I hope you start your 18th year in a healthier, happier and wiser manner. I know we haven't talked in years, and this might seem sudden, but I'd honestly love to catch up with you and wish you a proper happy birthday over a video call.
I'm looking forward to getting a reply from you : )
You can find my skype details attached, I'd love for you to add me.
Have an amazing celebration!

Love,
Your cousin Jane.

Your message was sent.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw that message popping up. I was wondering if I'll ever get a reply, if it was the right address, if he'll even consider me after all these years. Mostly if he'll even care enough to reply, considering we've only ever met once and had close to nothing in common.

Fast forward a few weeks. He ended up replying to me, adding me on Skype, and of course we had a few good calls that would last between four and five hours, in which we'd discuss our transition from kids to the full-on teenagers with a life plan. With each and every call I found him funnier, smarter, and just closer to what we'd define as "manly". He got his shit together and I liked that.

I started thinking about him and admiring him more and more every day. I also started appreciating his physical features, personality traits, facial expressions, and I just couldn't get his gentle voice out of my head. And those charming ocean blue eyes. And that kissable mouth. And those sexy shoulders. Oh, god.

And then it hit me. I was daydreaming about him, about how we'd be such an amazing couple, or how safe I'd feel engulfed in his arms under the covers; about how his lips could make everything around me disappear as he'd press them against mine. You see, having this wake-up slap back then felt like a train hit me. I mean, I was feeling all these things towards my cousin, who lives thousands of miles away. And he's my cousin. For a moment I felt so small and so wrong, even sick for thinking these things. For a moment. After that moment, my nipples got hard as I started thinking of his touch. I just let that desire flow right through me.

I started giving more and more attention to the way I looked before having a Skype call with my dear cousin. The whole pre-Chatroulette routine turned into pre-Skype routine. I'd doll up and send him a message saying "I'm here if you wanna call" hoping he'd be around and actually call. If he wouldn't, I could've always turned to Chatroulette for my daily validation, since I was ready anyway.

But he'd always call.

This one time we were video calling, just casually talking, nothing special going on, until there was a moment of silence between us. Not the "I've run out of things to say" kind of silence, no. It was the "Wow, I'm captivated by you" type of silence. We were silent for a few seconds, looking at each other's digital image on our dirty screens, until he said to me:

"You know, I never realized how pretty you were. I think you look cute in that shirt."

I blushed and I didn't know what to do, other than say a shy, "Thank you," and just look away. You know, the way little girls act when they get into an embarrassing situation. I indeed felt uncomfortable, knowing that I was attracted to Josh in a romantic/sexual way, only for him to compliment me. I found myself wondering if he was thinking about what I've got under that shirt.

"What's up? Are you ok?" he asked me on a worried tone.

Shit, he must've noticed.

"Uhm, yes," I giggled, "I just don't get compliments too often. Thank you!" I said, trying to save myself.

"Really? But you're so pretty. The guys in your class are lucky to see you every day, Jane,"  he said with a half-mouthed smile which turned into a grin and then into a muffled laugh.

"Why are you laughing? What's up, silly?" I smiled.

"Well I just had this thought, that they must get hard-ons sometimes too."

Oh god, the things running through my head when I heard that. How should I even react to that? There I was, suddenly getting turned on by the possibility of where this conversation could go. The more I gave in to this hot feeling, the more I turned towards being confident, to feeling dominant and naughty, to being an authoritarian woman rather than the shy little girl he met before. I felt like I was on Chatroulette, up to no good again.

"Oh they must do, they are boys after all. And so are you."

I felt a knot at the top of my throat. I swallowed, smiled, and said:

"Tell me Josh, are you getting a hard-on as well, just like those boys from school?"

I expected him to either laugh it off or say I'm crazy, or downright get offended or mad at me, or even close the call thinking I'm a weirdo and never talk to me again. But no. Instead, he showed off a smile, held it for a few seconds, and said to me, "I might, yes."

"Well, aren't you sure about it?"  I asked while slowly undoing the top two buttons of my shirt and looking straight in the camera.

I then heard a quiet, "What are you doing Janie?" while I continued undoing the buttons until there was just one left, in the center of my chest, holding everything together.

"What about now? Are you starting to be sure?"  I grinned.

I could see that his face went from smirky and playful to quite a serious, flushed expression; he was just swallowing his spit and sitting there in awe.

"I... I think I am sure now, yes," he softly mumbled.

"How sure are you?" I demanded. "I don't think you're certain enough... Go on, give it a feel."  

I couldn't believe it. I started fondling my tender breasts as I watched my cousin's arm making a move under his desk.

Then I heard him unzip his trousers. I don't know what it is about that sound that turns me on so much, but if he would've just touched my clit in that moment I would've come right then and there. I was boiling for him. However, Josh had to listen to what I say and act accordingly, so there was no time for me to go soft or to let him see how I truly felt about him.

"I said give it a feel, not take it out. Zip your pants back up until I tell you otherwise," I commanded.

He instantly zipped them back up and started slowly moving his hand across his cock, over his pants. I was dying to see it but I wanted to enjoy this moment of me being in control.

"So, now... tell me Josh. Did you end up getting a hard-on like those boys from school?"

"Yes, I did,"  he said in a quiet voice.

"From now on, you will address me as Miss Jane. Now repeat your answer loud and clear for me."

"Yes, Miss Jane... I did."

"That's better. Now I want you to stand up from that chair and do exactly as I say."

He stood up, pushed the chair back and started fiddling with his clothes. I don't think he could believe what was happening, and honestly nor could I. But nonetheless, we both went with it as my heart was ready to escape my ribcage.

"Take a step back and stay there. I want to see that beautiful bulge you've got. That's it, good. Now I want you to slowly unbutton your pants and unzip them... but don't pull them down."

And he did exactly as I asked him to. I couldn't help but secretly touch myself under the desk as well. As I reached down, I felt my slit getting wet and hot in anticipation. The circular motions I drew with my fingertips around my clit made me so sensitive and so close to cum...

He started getting a bit unsettled and fidgety. He told me, "Janie I never knew we'd get here, this doesn't feel right... I mean yeah you're pretty and all, but this..."

"Then please explain to me," I interrupted, "Why you have a raging hard-on in those pants. I can tell you why it doesn't feel right - because I'm not the one touching you right now. Stop being a sissy and get that cock out for Miss Jane." My words echoed in my head as I said them.

There he was, my image of perfection in front of me, pulling his pants down slowly and about to expose his beautifully hard cock. I couldn't believe myself; I wasn't in this world anymore. I was in his, making a mess of it.