Our parents are....ignorant, to say the least. My brother and I have desires for our lives that are far beyond what our parents want, and as a result, there's quite a few arguments, and an obvious disconnect between us.
I parked in the driveway, and took a look to make sure my baby was looking beautiful before I went in the house. My baby is a '69 SS Camaro, black with an orange rally stripe, and it's my pride and joy. It was a gift from mom and dad when I turned 17 last year.
The sounds of an argument floated out of the house and I knew what was happening. Dad and my brother were at it again. Dad used to be sort of famous in the area as a race car driver, and he wants my brother to follow in his footsteps. Except he doesn't want to so much. He drives, and he's good, but it's never going to be his passion like it was Dad's, or, to tell the truth, mine. A girl driving race cars? You bet. My brother got sent to a top flight driving school at 16, and I went along with him. The instructors were pretty cool as Dad had spent a bundle for him to have private sessions, so they let me go right along with him. I was faster. In every aspect of driving. I made the mistake of telling Dad afterwards. "What? YOU want to race? You're girl!! You CAN'T race!" he raged. My arguments that I was as good or better than my brother fell on deaf ears, but I was allowed to continue working on his car.
That wasn't all of it, my little brother was a sweet guy, and he really wanted to get into high technology; computers were becoming the rage (this was 1986) and he felt that getting in on the ground floor would be a good move. Dad would have none of it. Me? I wanted to go to college, and get a degree in psychology and go from there. What did I need college for? I could just go to the local community college and meet a nice guy, settle down and have babies. Yeah, Mom and I didn't see eye to eye on much either.
To make matter worse, neither my brother or I was exactly popular, and while he'd filled out a bit of his 6 foot frame, I was still...uh, skinny. 5' 10", with a bustline that could barely fill a B-cup. Adding to that the fact that I was about as unfashionable as a girl could get, and I got really good grades, I was also good at one thing, volleyball. Except I was still skinny and uncool, while my teammates had their pick of guys.
Three and half years of high school had gotten me three dates while a sophomore with a guy who was part of the chess team, two dates with a guy in my junior year who only wanted to get closer to my teammate, and five other glorious failures of dates with guys who were as much of a misfit as I was. Brother Ricky wasn't much more successful. He was painfully shy around girls, and about the only time he could talk to them was at the racetrack where he felt more comfortable. In geometry? Not a chance, he'd clam up and shuffle his feet and mutter before leaving with a red face.
"Hey, Ricky! Wait up!, Wait!" My plea fell on deaf ears; he'd stormed into his bedroom and slammed the door. He wouldn't even open up for me. It killed me because I know he was crying and hurting, and there was nothing I could do. I could take a few jabs at my father, which I hoped would give Ricky time to calm down.
"At it again, Dad? When are you going to realize he doesn't want to be just like you?"
Dad whirled on me, furious.
"It isn't your business. It's between me and your brother. He still refuses to listen to good sense, he could be a star in just a few short years! He can't do that going to college to play around with stupid toys!"
"Computers are hardly toys, they're going to change the world. Ricky wants to be there and make his mark, he's good at it, let him be who he wants to be!"
"He can do that anytime, if he focuses, he can move up in a year or two, maybe Winston West, then in another year, he could be with the big boys, Allison, Waltrip, Earnhardt! He won't get there in a class room."
I shook my head. "Dad, he doesn't want to quit racing, he still wants to do it, and he's still proud to be your son, he just wants to do other things as well. Is that so bad? Or are you worried that he won't fulfill the dreams you never got to? You were great, a champion, but you never did make the move to the next level. You built a great business, and raised a family. It wasn't the big time, but it was pretty damn big to us!"
He looked mad.
"Look, I know you care about your brother, but don't try to use a lot of psychological bullshit on me! Why don't you give THAT crap up as well? Just go out on some dates, if you can find some, and settle down, and leave these things to the men?"
Ouch. Thanks, Dad. I know I'm not pretty or popular, but thanks for rubbing it in. You bastard.
He stomped off muttering under his breath. The man was impossible, but he was my father, I suppose my stubborn streak came from him. Let's see if I can get Ricky to at least open up.
"Hey, bro? It's me, Big."
Ricky's nickname for me had always been "Big". I was barely a year older, so technically I was his big sister, but except for about three months as infants, and a few weeks in his freshman year, he'd always been taller than me.
Ricky opened the door, and I was right, he'd been crying. I hate what that man does to you, little bro, you're too good of a guy to deal with this shit. I walked in and put my arms around him.
"It's all right, Ricky, it's all right. He's just...an asshole." It was meant to be sympathetic, but it worked better than that as Ricky giggled, and my own giggles followed. We both sat down on his bed feeling a little better.
"Why doesn't he get me at all, Big?"
"Wish I knew, I wish I did. It's not like you want to quit driving, right?"
He shook his head. "Nope, I still like it, I still want to do it. However, once I go to college, preferably far away from here, I just want to race during summers and the few school holidays during racing season. I don't want to shoot for a track championship where I have to be there from opening day in February through October. I won't be able to concentrate on my studies, and I'd have to go to a school around here. You know that's practically offensive in itself to them. You know how they reacted to you going away, but they couldn't argue with the scholarship."
I had not only been accepted at UW, but I'd gotten a scholarship that would completely cover my freshman year, living expenses included. The folks had acted like I'd personally shot them both in the chest for going 1000+ miles away for an education, but when I told them I'd go closer if they'd pay for the whole thing, they didn't argue too much after that.
"Why can't they just accept that we're both different and let us be who we want to be?" he asked plaintively.
"Shit, they're both old fashioned, and you're supposed to be just like Mommy and Daddy and do the exact same things, just like they did, and their parents before them and so on, back a zillion years. Meanwhile time marches on and progress is made by the intelligent people, which sadly does NOT include our parents."
We both laughed at that and after directing a few scathing comments towards our folks, and we decide to head out for a bite. We take Ricky's absolutely flawless 68 SS Chevelle, his 16th birthday gift, and off we roar. Despite the fact that our parents are kind of assholes, they don't stint on material things. I don't think it makes up the difference though. Maybe that's just psychobabble as Dad calls it, but I know I'm right. I've done very well in school, and psychology is calling to me. Maybe even psychiatry, would do wonders in helping us understand why we're both messed up. One of my teachers told me that my chosen field is often of interest to those who need help the most. Not exactly thrilling news, but hardly surprising.
I suppose I should say that we've never, ever been physically abused other than a decent swat on the butt when we were very little to learn how to stay away from fire, etc. but the emotional abuse has been rough, especially the last few years as they try to force us to be them.
We enjoy a good, greasy burger at a favorite hangout and oddly enough, Megan Holloway, one of the prettiest girls in school openly flirts with Ricky. She makes it clear she wants to talk to him outside, and he looks at me. I motion to him to get out there and talk to her, and he finally catches on. He's not stupid, just not incredibly socially aware.
I look out from time to time as their conversation gets a bit animated, and then she hugs him and takes off and he comes back in grinning.
"Bro, you look like the cat who just fell into the cream. What did the ever popular Miss Holloway have to say to you?"
His grin is a thing of joy to see after the rough spots earlier.
"She asked ME out! Me!"
"Very cool. You did accept, right?"
"Um, yeah, we're gonna go to the drive in. The drive in."
"Uh, sounds fun."
"It sounds scary as hell!" he replies.
"What's so scary?"
"Um, Big, you know I've never, well, you know..."
"Me neither." I say, with only the tiniest trace of bitterness.
"What if she, uh, wants to? And I don't know what to do?"
"Hmm. I've heard that you wouldn't exactly be her first, so I imagine she'd be happy to give you a few pointers. Make sure you have condoms. And I doubt that drinking will help, so don't do that."
Our father seems to have a bit of a fondness for booze, so we've both steered pretty clear of it. Hasn't really helped our popularity much.
"Oh jeez, I just hope I can act somewhat cool."
I pat him on the head with affection, "Just be yourself! Pretend you're dealing with a trophy girl."
As he's been winning a few races here and there, he's had to pose for pictures with the trophy girls and kiss them. It's done wonders for his confidence.
He lets me drive back home as his car has a little more top end than mine, and we take the looooong way home. Dad bitches at me for driving his car, and even though Ricky tells him it was his idea, Dad still makes us feel guilty. Whatta guy.
Two nights later, Ricky details his ride, makes a mix tape, and puts on his best clothes for his date and I wish him well. Mom and Dad are out of town as Dad is opening a new store three hours away and wants to oversee the grand opening personally. I'm hoping there's something decent on HBO and making sure we've got enough snacks to maybe cover up my loneliness. I don't seem to gain weight, but naturally it's hell on my skin.
Oh goody, a slasher flick. This ought to be fun. I settle in to enjoy it and send out wishes that Ricky has a great time. It is not to be. Not tonight.
I hear the roar of the Chevelle in the driveway and the screech of brakes. Not a good sign, he knows better than to cut loose in the driveway or street. I don't even make it to the door before it flies open and he stomps in, angry, but there are tears on his face. Oh shit, what's gone wrong now? If Megan did something to him I'll beat the shit out of her in front of everyone and I can do it.
"Ricky, what's wrong? Ricky? Ricky!!!!" I'm shouting but he's up the stairs and into his room as the door slams with a crash.
"Bro, what's wrong? Open up, you know I'm not gonna hassle you. I just want to make sure you're OK."
"I don't wanna talk about it!" he rages at the closed door. The emotion is plain to hear in his voice. This is killing me now, I can't just let him suffer, even if he thinks he wants to be alone. Luckily I learned a trick to opening the doors in our house, even if they're locked, and I pop it open and walk in. He's face first on the bed and shaking. Must have been pretty rough.
"Hey," I say, and gently put my hand on his shoulder as I sit down next to him, "what happened?"
He looks up and whatever it was, it was hell as he looks terrible. I hope to God he only fell apart as he got to the house and wasn't driving like this.
"I ruined everything because I'm a total fuckup, just like Dad says!"
"No, you're not, don't say that. You KNOW it's not true."
"Oh yeah? I had the prettiest girl in school in my car, and she wanted me, but I had to fuck it up, didn't I? I couldn't be cool and smooth, nope, I wrecked it just like I do with everything."
"Hey, HEY! You don't wreck ANYthing, bro, you do great with EVERYTHING you set your mind to! You might have made a mistake, but that's not fucking up."
He starts crying again and clutches at me and I hold him in my arms as he lets loose with a flood of raw emotion. I know he'll settle down in a few and I can get to the bottom of things.
He sobs himself out and pulls away from me.
"Big, what's the worst thing a guy can do on a date?"
"Honestly, I have no idea as I don't go out a lot, but from what the other girls say a guy can ruin things by being a pushy asshole and I KNOW that's not you."
"I wasn't pushy, nope. We were at the movies, we had a nice dinner and she said she was having a great time. I kind of put my arm around her at the movies and she didnt mind. She even kind of got as close as she could with the bucket seats and all. After the movies she wanted to go up in the hills, so we did."
"Aha isn't half of it. We kissed for a bit in the back seat, and she was okay with that, I even felt her boobs up and she liked that and then she.....said she wanted me."
"She pulled up her dress and took off her panties and as I pulled my pants down....I, well.....I sort of exploded. All over her dress, her legs, the seat....and she freaked out. Started calling me names, saying I was just a stupid boy that didn't know what to do with a woman, and told me she never wanted to see me again and that she wanted to go right home, and she just tore me apart. I just...got so excited by all that and I couldn't help it, I couldn't even control myself, not even for five lousy minutes. I"m such a loser!"
With that, he erupted in tears again as I held him close until the storm subsided.
"Am I that pathetic?" he asked me.
"No bro, you're not pathetic, you're well, inexperienced. I've heard that it happens to lots of guys, but if the girl is cool with him and understanding, they can usually try again after a bit. I take it understanding wasn't in the cards?"
"Nope," he said with a sad smile, "no understanding whatsoever. How is a guy supposed to get better if a girl makes him feel so stupid when he messes up like that?
"Well, to use a racing metaphor, you crashed before you even got on the track, and that's not good."
He manages a ghost of a grin at that line.
"Remember your first time out? When you took the lead in the first corner and spun three seconds later, trashing the car in the process?"
"Yeah!" he said with a smile, remembering his first race.
"Well, I hate to say it, but Dad knew what to do there. Fix it up, and let you run at the back of the C race to get some more laps in. You started 11th, and finished third, and next week you were smoother, and next week better yet. You just need practice."
"Uh, where exactly do I get that? A hooker?"
That of course is no answer at all, and I have no answer for him. I love my brother dearly and I want him to be happy, and I'm not sure why, but I kiss him full on the lips. He kisses back for a split second than pulls away.
"Big, what the hell are you doing?"
Now I'm the one full of emotion.
"I don't know, but you're lonely, I'm lonely, does it really matter?"
"Yeah, but isn't it wrong?"
"Mom and Dad would say it was for sure, we already disagree with them on everything else, and well....it's practice of a sort, isn't it?"
He shakes his head for a second, but then looks me in the eyes.
"Promise not to get mad if I do something dumb?"
"Only if you don't get mad at me for the same." I say as I kiss him again.
We kiss, slowly working our way into some passion. I'm not sure what to feel, but I feel safe with him and I think he feels the same. As we kiss, our hands start to explore each other, very slowly, and he gently puts his hand on my breasts and caresses them. I put my hand over his, and he stops, but I softly tell him to be gentle through our kisses. He gently runs his fingers over them, and I enjoy the feeling. I've played with them myself, but no one has ever touched them.
I'm amazed at the sensations of them being touched, and I begin to feel very warm. Trying to be fair to him, I reach down and run my finger over the seams of his jeans and his bulge is noticeable. I start to unbutton his jeans and he stops me.
"No, not yet. I'm not ready."
I suppose I'm not but we continue to kiss, and then he dares to slip some tongue, and I respond with the same. It feels good, it feels wonderful, but neither of us has any idea what we're doing. I pull back for a second and tell him to close his eyes. He does and I reach under and remove my bra and let my shirt fall back down to cover me.
I tell him to open his eyes and his smile tells me he noticed what I did, and his hands caress me again and this time the sensation is even better. I moan softly and he gently tweaks my nipple with his fingers and I gasp softly.
"Was that too hard?"
"No, it was fine, just different than I expected."
The kissing continues and I slip my shirt off to reveal my less than spectacular boobs. His expression tells me he's enjoying the sight of them well enough and he slowly pulls away from my lips to softly lick my left nipple.
"That feels.....really good, keep going..." I whisper.
He does and with some gentle guidance he explores them fully, and I realize that I am now very horny, and very wet, but...I'm not ready to do anything else. Yet.
He sense this and pulls off his shirt. He has filled out a bit recently, and he looks good as I run my fingers playfully across his chest.
"Sorry, Big, no boobs for you to play with.." he whispers, so I go further down, and start to play with the button on his pants.
"No, not now, I'm not ready..."
"Shhh...we don't have to do anything, just take them off."
He slides out of them and I realize I haven't seen all of him since we were about six and seven. Time has been good to him, as his erect penis looks freakily huge to me, but then I've never seen one this close so I don't know. I pull off his jockey shorts to fully reveal him, and it looks great in the light, but I really don't know what to do. I can see it's already wet, so I touch the tip of it gently, and he responds with a shudder. I rub it softly, and I realize that's it's getting slippery so I circle it with my fingers and softly stroke it.
It's not very smooth, but as he gets wetter, it gets smoother and I hold it a bit more firmly. I've heard about giving head, but I'm not ready for that, not at all, so I just continue to stroke him and kiss him. He's enjoying it very much and he seems so very relaxed, unlike what he must have been like earlier tonight.
He pulls away from our kissing suddenly.
"I"m about to..." but he doesn't finish the sentence before he erupts all over my hand and his stomach. I don't freak out, but I do stop. If I wig out here, it won't help anything at all so I resolve to keep my cool.
"Did that feel good?"
"Oh god, Big it felt incredible. So good, I thought I was going to last longer but I couldn't help myself, I didn't mean to make a mess.."
I cut off his apology with another kiss.
"Shh...it's okay, I don't mind, I knew that would happen, and I'm not mad..."
"I told you it's okay, in fact...."
I lean down and lick some of it off of his stomach. It's salty as hell, and my stomach's lurching a bit, but I'm going to be cool here as I take another lick.
As I look him in the face I smile.
"I don't know about having taken it all in my mouth, but that's not bad at all. The important thing was making you feel good."
"I do, I do, but what can I.....do...for you? Help me, I don't know..."
I notice a tiny note of panic in his voice, but I think there's a solution. I slip my pants off as well as my panties and he sees all of me as we both lie naked on the bed.
"Now watch what I do with my fingers..."
I slowly slide two fingers between my lips and rub up and down for a few moments and it feels sooooo good, but I'm trying to help him here.
"Now do it just like that..." I purr as he takes over, and he's very gentle. He gets me even wetter and then I decide to take it further. I use my fingers and pull my pubic hair apart and guide his fingers to my clit.
"That's the most sensitive part of a girl, be very gentle and rub it for a bit....like that...right..."
While he's brand new to it, it feels good no matter what...he keeps up with his gentle fingers as I give him a bit more guidance.
"Now back to the lips...you can put your fingers in a little deeper...yesss...like that..."
He thinks to caress my breast with his other hand and his lips find mine again...
"That feels so good..don't stop..." I mutter between kisses.
"Not unless you want me to..." he whispers back.
I've been super horny since this got started and he's done an excellent job of things as I start to breathe heavier and then with a squeal I orgasm and HE gets wet for a change!
"Whoa!" he says.
"I'm sorry, I should have warned you!"
He smiles, "No, it's all right, I just...didn't know girls did that too!"
I burst out laughing at that and he joins in as we both laugh loudly for several moments and then it dissolves into giggle fits.
"You really didn't know girls squirt, too?"
"Nope, had no idea, I suppose I should pay attention in biology though."
This sends us both back into the giggles.
We decide that we both need a shower and we do so together, defiantly using the big huge one in Mom and Dad's room. During the shower we...explore each other and show each other our bodies and talk it over. We don't feel guilty, nor do we feel wrong or dirty, we feel...content. We feel loved. We are, and it shows in the shower as we gently scrub each other's back, and kiss softly for a bit. We dry off together and then spend a few minutes making sure the bathroom is spotless and then we giggle as we set up a load of laundry in our bathrobes.
We watch a bit of TV, and then fall asleep in my bed together. We wake and cuddle a bit more, and my wandering hands find his erection and bring him to a monster orgasm, and in the shower, he caresses my pussy from behind and brings me to my orgasm.
We never got much further than that, but the shared pleasure and gentle understanding we showed each other helped us both later. After half a dozen times with me, he met another girl that was equally understanding and she took him much further than I could, while I waited until May of my freshman year of college to find the right guy. Every now and again we'll both remember it fondly, once we showed each other that we were really worthy of being loved and cared for, intimacy with others came easier for us.
*This one's a little different as the action comes a different angle than most of my stories in this area, and really, there's not much actual sex in it, but lots of affection and understanding....please let me know if you like it!
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/a-little-understanding.aspx">A little understanding</a>