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Chapter 1: My Beginnings

"How my upbringing influenced my sexuality"

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My name is Sheila Simpson; I have been a lesbian nearly all of my adult life. I was born in 1940 in a rural part of East Anglia in England. My sister Rachael came along about ten months later. We shared a double bed in the second bedroom in our cottage right up till I left for University, and anytime I was at home after.

I never really knew my Father as I was too young to remember, he was killed in the war and never came home. Mother was a professional lady, an Accountant and we were fortunate enough to have a motor car. An Austin Ruby that people would call a "Rolls Canardly", 'rolls down hills and can 'ardly get back up. Still it did us for when Mother went to work in town, and would take us for drives on weekends.

Mother had married quite young, eighteen at the time and she often said, "Too young." Once the war was over she never remarried, in fact I don't remember her dating other men that much. She seemed to be quite content with her lady friends, often having one or more in for an evening of cards or a meal. She in turn would be invited to their homes. When we were quite young we would accompany her.

Her best friend was a lady named Susan, who had also lost her husband in the war. It seemed the war decimated a lot of families at that time. She was a frequent visitor to our home in those days, often staying over for the night. As she was also mother’s card partner, they socialized with each other more than with other ladies. In the summer we would sometimes go for a picnic or to the beach, and when we did "Aunt Sue' would sometimes accompany us.

As a result of living in the country, we didn't have any close neighbours to play with. For siblings we got along very well together, and we would play together. Growing up I taught her to play board games like Snakes and Ladders, then my favourite Monopoly etc., as well as card games like Bridge. Whist was also a very popular card game in those days. This was before we had a television and we would listen to the radio, I still remember "Mrs. Dale's Diary" that was very popular at that time.

Mother’s sister also lived in town and we often spent time there, sometimes sleeping overnight when mother couldn’t be with us for some reason. Also our grandparents lived in a town on the coast, about thirty miles away. Rachael and spent a lot of time there in the summer, where we loved to play on the beach building sand castles, exploring for sea shells etc

Once I was into my teen’s mother felt I was old and responsible enough to look after the house, and of course my sister. However Rachael and I began to notice little things at home when she and Sue were together, nothing serious, just complimenting one another. Hugging and kissing more openly when arriving or leaving one another’s company. Rachael and I kept what happened in our home to ourselves, we talked about it and decided it was none of our business. I'm not sure, but I think our instincts told us not to say anything about it to others.

Also as a teenager I took an interest in fashions for ladies, I enjoyed out trips to town when we could visit the shops and see the latest designs, as well as browse through the catalogues that were available. This was a time when fashions were changing for women, the whale boned corsets were being replaced with girdles, those long legged underwear called 'Bloomers' with the shorter legged version called 'Knickers.' Garters that had the stocking tops rolled over them causing unsightly bumps under dresses were being replaced with Garter Belts, and high heeled shoes were becoming more fashionable.

I never knew anyone who had a washing machine in those days either, people did their laundry by hand and hung the clothes outside to dry. I used to find it interesting to see the different styles of underwear hanging on the clothes lines, and try to visualize what the women would be wearing under their clothes whenever I saw them in public.

In my teens with my body developing, my periods had started along with the sexual feelings, and like others I began to take an interest in sex. There were no sex instructions in those days either; we learned what we could from books as well as stories handed down from older girls. Like others, I eventually began to take care of my own needs in private.

I was 18 when I left home to attend the University of London, to begin studies to become an Accountant. While there was residence at the University, Mother felt it would be better for my studies if I was in a private home, and found a room for me in a home close by.

It was an exciting time to be away from home, living in a big city and of course making friends from different parts of the country. One girl in particular and I were to become close friends. Jennifer was a very quiet pretty girl from the midlands. She was staying in the residence, and we would often study in the library, go to tea rooms and the odd picture, (movie) together. We did not have much pocket money, but what we did have we shared. Often after a movie we would go to a fish and chip shop and share a plate of chips.

That first year we really had to study, and after it was over we went our separate ways home, but kept in touch writing to one another every week. I missed Jenny and longed for the school year to start up again.

Back home Rachael quizzed me about life in the big city, she was going to be going to a University in the midlands the following September. We spent a lot of time together that summer, going for walks in the country, picnicking by the river etc... At first I would answer her questions as best as I could.

One Saturday night mother had gone up to Norwich for some reason with Aunt Sue, leaving Rachael and I alone as she often did. We were sitting on the sofa in our nightgowns and talking, and the subject as often turned to sex. The lights were off, and the only light was from the fireplace and the flickering of the TV. As I said she was going to university that fall, and had just turned eighteen. Rachael in her own quiet way was more open about sex than I was, not that I was a prude by any means.

This night we were in our nightgowns ready for bed, sitting opposite each other on the sofa chatting. I had my feet tucked under me facing her, and she had pulled her knees up so her feet were on the sofa. Pulling her night gown over her knees, she wrapped her arms around them. Our conversation turned to sex, about boys and what we thought we knew about sex from conversations and reading. We were both virgins at the time.

She had her feet tucked under her and about a foot apart. She had no knickers on, and in the firelight I would get an occasional glimpse of her upper thighs. Her mound was protruding between her thighs, and I found this to be arousing. It was like a magnet and I couldn't help but keep glancing at her privates.

I was to learn later this was not lost on her, and she liked the attention I was giving her private area. She let go of her knees and leaned back on the cushions, this caused her nightgown to fall back on her thighs. Slowly she parted her knees to give me a full view of her lower torso, exposing that triangle of pubic hair that surrounded her pussy.

She was watching me intently and let her hand move down to cover it, but only for a moment as she began to rub her fingers through the hair. There was no pretense from me by this time, my eyes were glued to what she was doing.

Watching her 'diddle' herself did it for me too, so I followed suit and there we were facing one another and masturbating. We kept our legs apart to view one another, giggling from the pleasure. After we were both breathless and flushed from the pleasure, we lay there grinning at one another. Finally I got up and turned off the TV and taking her hand said, "Come on" and led her to our bedroom.

Once there, with the moonlight lighting us up I took off her nightgown, followed by my own. Now we cast our eyes over each other’s bodies, I know we had seen each other naked lots of time over the years, but this was different. I saw her as a sexual being, not a teenager but a young woman with a perfect body. She was very shapely, her tits standing out like perfect globes of flesh tipped with raspberries. She had a narrow waist, the beautiful curvature of her hips narrowing down to her thighs. Her thick patch of pubic hair was in sharp contrast to the beauty of the white skin surrounding it.

She must have felt the same, we didn't say anything, just looked at one another for a few minutes before falling into each other’s arms. We gave each other deep passionate hungry kisses, the tongue searching kisses of women in love. We pressed a knee between each other’s legs to press our thigh against each other’s pussy. My hands were all over her back, down to the smoothness of her buttocks, to grip and fondle reaching between her cheeks.

Somehow we moved against the bed and fell on top of it, still in our embrace, neither of us willing to let go as we began to love one another. It was a beautiful night; we gave each other what our bodies needed. We kissed and caressed each other, enjoying the thrill of pleasing one another. Pressing our pussies together we made unabashed love, bringing each other time and again.

That year I was also going to dances on Saturday nights, and started dating boys. Although they would often try to feel my tits, and get under my skirt, I held on to my virginity. The passion with boys just wasn't there at the time, and of course I was aware of the danger of pregnancy. There were stories about older girls who would get knocked up, and it was a big scandal for them and their families at the time.

Back in London for the second year, Jennifer and I were both glad to see each other again. She seemed to be more beautiful than ever with long blond hair and an almost perfect body, and the sweetest smile imaginable. No doubt I developed a crush on her, she was in my thoughts constantly. They were erotic thoughts too, and I would relieve myself masturbating to them.

After my experiences with my sister, I longed to touch her. I wanted to show her how much I loved her, to caress and hold her. I felt she sensed the same way about me, but was scared to make any advances to her. In those days it was very risky to try anything inappropriate, and settled for just seeing her as often as I could.

I found a part time job in a restaurant helping out during rush hours from five to seven in the evenings, and on Saturday afternoons that gave me some pocket money. Now we could afford to go out more, and would often go to a pub for a drink. The pubs closed early in those days, around ten o'clock and it got to be common practice to go for a drink before going to a dance hall. Men would often chat to us and buy us drinks too, and sometimes we would go to the dances together.

While dating was fun I soon realized I preferred the company of Jennifer to males, and on rare occasions would dance with her. It was not that uncommon to see two females dancing together in those days. Walking along the street one night I held her hand, she didn't seem to mind as we walked to her residence. Before we parted we talked for a few minutes holding hands, and then giving each other goodnight hugs, and I kissed her on her cheek before she went inside.

So it got to be common for us to hold hands together as often as we could, and give each other a parting hug and kisses on each other’s cheeks. One dark night when we were to go in, instead of kissing her on the cheek I kissed her mouth, she responded by kissing me back. After, as if embarrassed she hurried inside and I left to go home, home to my feelings and thoughts too. In bed I gave my body the relief it needed by masturbating.

Occasionally I would date a man, but with my studying, working, and with my refusal to let them get under my clothes nothing seemed to last. So the only constant in my life at the time was Jennifer, and it seemed to be the same for her. Still I didn't mind really as it was a question of priorities at the time, and besides I preferred her company anyway. I think at the time I was a dormant lesbian, and my sister had awakened my feelings for ladies.

We shared some personal thoughts too with time, and as a result Jenny and I got closer together. Often on Saturday afternoons we would go window shopping, and enjoyed browsing through the ladies shops looking at the latest fashions, and occasionally trying on skirts and dresses. We couldn't afford to buy any, but it was a fun time to be together.

One night leaving the movies we got caught in a sudden downpour, and ran into a shop doorway for shelter. As we watched the rain come down in what seemed like sheets of water, we held on to each other. We must have been quite a sight, soaking wet hair plastered to our heads and feeling the chill of the night. Nothing we could do but wait, looking at her we made eye contact and she smiled at me. I put my arms around her and kissed her, and as we were doing so we moved further into the doorway where it was very dark.

We held our kisses longer and longer, and soon we were giving each other full open mouthed kisses. We were oblivious to the rain pounding down as we were lost in each other’s embraces, tongues pressing into each other’s mouths. With our bodies pressed together I held her head with one hand and her bum with the others as my kisses moved down to her neck. I felt warm and aroused pressing my pelvis against her thigh; I pushed my leg into her crotch and was rewarded when she opened her legs to accommodate me.

Encouraged by this, I undid a button on her coat so I could slip my hand under it to feel her crotch.

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Her breathing was getting heavier and there was no resistance as I raised her skirt to feel her pussy through her knickers. She was wet, so wet there as I felt the folds of her vagina through the material. It wasn't long before I felt her convulse, and she let out a moan as she had an orgasm.

She whispered something to me; I didn't catch what she said as I undid my coat for her to give me my pleasure. I was so randy by this time it was indeed a pleasure for me to let her feel me through my knickers, and gave me the relief I so badly needed.

After we just held each other for a few minutes to calm down, I kissed her and told her I loved her. She affirmed her feelings for me too and we talked about it. We both agreed how beautiful the experience was, and wanted to do it again, and even go a little further. I asked if she had any suggestions about how we could do it in a more private setting, and we both decided we would think about it.

We couldn't think of a way to be together in private, other than to do what little we could to show our love for one another in the dark of the evenings whenever we could. In our own way we got more daring during the week, we would go to a movie and leave our bras off so we could kiss and suckle each other tits. Our blouses would be covered by our coats and scarves so no one would be any the wiser.

I loved Jenny's tits; they were so soft and round with the most beautiful nipples adorning them imaginable. She loved the attention too, her sounds of pleasure as I learned how to lick and tease them, giving her the most incredible feelings. Soon we graduated to leaving our knickers off altogether too, so by having our coats open and our skirts up out of the way we could rub our clits together,...

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Written by pttyjones
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