“You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.” I said, sitting in the passenger seat of his car. I looked over at my brother, Zach. He wasn’t staring back, but staring out the front windshield to the white garage door that was in front of us. He never blinked his kyanite eyes petrified in thought. No muscle in his body moved.
I took a deep breath, turning my head to look out the front windshield, “I know this is hard for you, Zach. I don’t even know if he’s in there.”
He spoke softly, “If I see him…I‘ll…”
“No. You won’t. I won’t let you.” I said, looking back to him.
He looked at me, “We’re here for you, and anything else doesn’t matter. I promise you that.”
I nodded in reply. I was scared by the situation I was about to put us in. I knew it was going to be awkward at first; with only one spark, I could ignite an inferno.
“Ladies first,” he said. I knew he meant it was time to get out of the car.
I smiled softly, “Just one thing…” I leaned toward him, signaling for him to kiss me. He smiled as I did, and kissed me. His warm lips tingled on my own.
I didn’t want to stop, but I knew I had to pull away. I knew it wasn’t the time or place for this. I opened the car door and hopped out. My brother followed on the driver’s side. He wore a black t-shirt under a black leather jacket, black belt, tight stone-washed jeans and black shoes.
He locked his black car, and we walked to the front door of the plain white colored house. Gray stones were along the edges of the cement path to the front door. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.
I was nervous. I had no idea what was going to happen. I only knew that any sentence could cause age’s old drama and anger to explode. I could feel it in my chest as the anticipation grasped me.
The door opened. There stood my mother. Her big brown eyes lit with excitement as she saw me. Her curly, deep brown hair fell just above her shoulders. Her body looked slightly different than I remember, her skin was darker and she was heavier. She must have been going through more emotional issues; she drowns her sorrows in comfort food.
“Lydia! It’s so great to see you!” she said, giving me a hug.
“Hi mom…” I said awkwardly. I haven’t seen her in a few months, and I didn’t know what to say. Though the most awkward of all was knowing Zach was right behind me.
“Hi Zach.” she said, acknowledging him.
My brother spoke softly, “Hi.”
My mom looked back at me. “Come on in! Grandma and grandpa are here. But your aunts and uncles couldn’t make it, they say they’re sorry.” she said, pulling me into the house.
“Oh, that’s ok.” I said. I saw my grandma Renee sitting on the cream colored, leather couch. Her pale white skin, wrinkled beyond repair. Her curly, light brown hair barely touched by a brush. Painted eyebrows sat above her deep brown eyes. Her body was frail, and weak. When she stood from the couch to walk to me, she appeared to be a corpse. She limped, walking at a snail-like pace that could ruin any impatient man’s day.
“My God, it’s cold! Hi…how are you sweetheart?” my grandma said, giving me a big hug. Her Italian accent was noticeable within her voice.
I hugged her back, “I’m good.”
She smiled to me. “Dennis!” she yelled.
“What?” I heard in the distance.
“Lydia’s here, come say hello to her!” she yelled back.
I waited a moment, and I saw my grandpa come into sight. His body was also frail, but a little bit stronger than my grandma’s. His pure white hair was slicked back. His brown eyes covered with clear glasses. His skin was wrinkled, but was normal in pigment. His big, fat nose filled with white hairs.
He smiled at me, “Lydia! It’s so good to see you! How has my beautiful little girl been?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tightly against him. I could smell the cigarettes on his body. I felt uncomfortable.
“I’m good…thanks.” I said, trying to be polite as possible. He let me go, holding my upper arms with his hands. He observed my face, as if he was looking for every detail.
“Could you get any more beautiful?” he asked.
“Um…” I started, but was interrupted by him.
He smiled, “No, no. Not possible. You are at the peak of beauty.”
I smiled as a way of saying thank you. I was really uncomfortable now; my grandpa was being extra nice to me. My first thought; it was an act. It was his way of expressing that he wasn’t the manipulating, dominant force in the family. Though I knew it was a complete sham. Ever since I could remember, it was his way or you got shunned.
“Ok ok, it’s time for your gift.” my mom said tugging on my arm to follow her. I was about to follow her, but I remembered Zach. I looked back at him; he was standing outside in the cold, just beyond the door.
“You can come in.” I said, trying to get him to follow me. I needed him to come with me. His presence would make this ordeal less awkward.
“I’ll wait here.” my brother said.
My grandpa spoke, “Then we shouldn’t let out all the hot air.” He grabbed the door knob and began to shut the door, impeding my view of Zach.
I saw my brother’s hand smack the door, blocking it from being closed. He pushed it back open; I could see the look of hostility on his face.
“You can go to hell.” my brother said to my grandpa.
I raced to the door, standing between the two of them. “Hey…cool it…” I said, trying to get my brother to calm himself. I looked to my grandpa, “The door stays open.”
“Fine.” my grandpa snarled, turning his head and walking back to the cream colored couch. My mom and grandma followed him. They all sat down.
I looked back at Zach, his kyanite eyes reflecting the snow gorgeously. “Are you sure you want to stay out there?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. For now.” he said.
I was instantly saddened. I wanted his warmth near me. “Ok…” I whispered. I tried to smile at him, but I failed at it. I had no words. I only wanted to get this over with, to get my brother out of this situation.
I returned to the three waiting for me. I took a seat on a chair. “Ok,” my mother said, then continued, “It isn’t big in size, but it’s big in value.” She pulled a small, flat, card-like object out of her pocket. It was wrapped in Christmas themed paper. This small object was the only reason I came here; to collect a Christmas gift. I didn’t spend Christmas with my mom’s side of the family. Now it’s early January and I’m still receiving a gift from Christmas. My mother handed it to me.
I took off the wrapping paper. To my surprise it was a Visa gift card. “We didn’t know where you like to shop, so we put five hundred dollars on the card and thought you could go wherever you wanted.” my mom said.
“Wow! Thank you, that’s so thoughtful.” I said. I was happy about the gift. But I was more sad than blissful. My brother lingered in my mind, and how he received nothing from this side of the family. I felt terrible and spoiled as I put the card into the pocket of my skinny jeans.
My mom spoke, “I was thinking if you wanted to spend a couple days here, we could go shopping together.” I was immediately concerned for my own safety. I knew the guy that my mom remarried lived in this house. I loathed the thought of calling him my step-father. I’ve only seen him twice. But he gives me these glances, like he has something sinister in mind. Whenever I think about staying the night at my mom’s house, fear rushes through me. Because I always have a feeling that he would rape me. His name is Dave.
“Oh…um,” I started, but was quickly silenced by my brother’s voice.
“No.” I heard him say in the distance, his voice stern and forward.
My mom looked to my brother “It’s her choice, Zachary.” she snapped at him.
My brother entered the house, “I won’t allow it.”
“Stop acting like your father.” my mom said.
I looked at my brother, his eyes starting to burn with anger.
My grandpa spoke, “Your dad’s a liar, Zach, and your mind is twisted and corrupt.” My grandpa stood up, slowly getting closer to where Zach was standing in the house. I was offended.
“That‘s funny, coming from a tyrant…” my brother said.
My grandma snapped at him, “Go back to your car, Zach. Don’t be a little shit.” I couldn’t believe I had just heard my saint of a grandma say that.
“Grandma, you better stay out of this.” my brother said, his voice becoming hostile. I watched as my grandma instantly silenced herself out of fear.
I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to defend my brother, but I also didn’t want to turn my back on my mother when I just received a gift from her. This situation was growing in emotion. Hatred, anger and disdain screamed out in the room.
“Don’t you dare talk to your grandmother like that!” my mom snapped. This was the hypocrisy of my mom’s side of the family. They could spit on you, but if you stand up for yourself, you are immediately stigmatized and criminalized. They are a prideful, yet ignorant family.
“Shut up, slut.” my brother said to my mother.
“What did you just say to my daughter?!” my grandpa shouted, standing inches away from Zach, in an aggressively stern position.
My brother towered over my grandpa, staring him down like an alpha-male. “I called her a slut…want me to say it a third time?” my brother’s voice rose, but he never yelled.
I looked to my mom. She spoke to my grandma, “You see? This is how I’m treated by him and his father.” She spoke again with more hypocrisy.
I looked back to Zach. I could see the veins in his hands boiling over. My grandpa shouted again, “I should teach you a lesson, boy!”
“What are you going to do? Get the gun out of your nightstand? Go get it then…let’s see what happens.” my brother growled. His eyes never blinking as rage took over his body. It was grasping his mind.
“Big words from someone who doesn’t have daddy to protect him.” my grandpa mocked. Laughing as he said it.
My brother smirked, “Is that fear I smell?”
I could feel it in the air; my grandpa hit his boiling point. “You listen good, boy. You’re nothing to this family. You’re worth nothing to anyone, why don’t you go back and fail high school like you almost did?” Yet again, I was offended. I hated that Zach was being bashed for his personal mistakes.
My brother let out a slight laugh, “Grandpa…I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be. Do you realize that?”
“Dave’s more man than you or your father will ever be.” my mom shouted out.
“Oh, that’s right…I forgot that this family thinks it’s ok to destroy other families, either economically or morally. It's ok to sue others out of your own misdeeds. It’s ok to break wedding vows and cheat on the person you gave your life to. I forgot that it’s ok to have no moral values.” my brother ranted, “I’ll remember to cheat on my wife someday.” My brother was being sarcastic; a way to mock them.
My mom went silent for a moment, then spoke softly, “That never happened.”
“When do the lies end with you?” my brother said.
“It’s not a lie!” my grandpa screamed.
“Oh…that’s right, I can’t have my own opinions.” my brother mocked, “Or should I say facts?”
I couldn’t take this anymore. The fighting needed to stop. I hated all of this, there was no point. The feuding between my mom and dad was almost over, and I didn’t see the reason to drag on the fighting. I was about to quiet all of them, when we all heard a voice come from another room. It sounded like a man’s voice, though I couldn’t make out what he said.
My brother’s eyes beamed to my mom, “So he is
“Of course he is, he had no reason to leave.” my mom snapped, “Dave, you can come in here now.”
Dave entered the room. He was shorter than me, his gut poking out from his olive colored t-shirt. His puffy cheeks, made worse by his poorly shaved face. His brown hair, buzzed to the limit. His eyes immediately drifted to me.
Before I knew it, Zach was next to me; grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet. “We’re leaving,” he forced, pulling me. I was tripping over my feet as he did.
My mom stood up, “You’re so much like your father. It always has to be your way.”
“I don’t trust him near her.” my brother said, he finally stopped moving us.
“I…” Dave started, but was overrun with Zach’s voice.
“Hey motherfucker, adults are talking.” Zach snapped at Dave.
Dave’s head shot down, almost in pure fear of Zach. I watched as his eyes shot a glance at me before looking back to the floor. I was intimidated by his grayish eyes that never seemed to leave me alone.
My brother sighed, “Let’s go.”
I didn’t know what to say, to any of them. All I wanted to do was support my brother, but I didn’t want to be harassed like he was.
My grandpa smacked his hand onto my brother’s shoulder and held it there, as if he was trying to stop my brother and I from leaving. My brother’s grip on my arm tightened, the pressure coming from his hand squeezed to my bones.
“You have five seconds before I snap your arm.” my brother threatened. I could feel the anger radiating from his skin. For the first time in my life, I watched as my grandpa backed off in fear. He never backs down, not even to my own dad.
My brother and I walked as fast as we could out of the house, down the driveway and into Zach’s car. He put in the key, turning on the engine instantly. His car roared as he flipped the gear into reverse. We flew down the driveway and into the street. I watched as he immediately switched the gear to drive. His foot smashed the gas pedal as the car launched us forward. We zipped down the rural neighborhood at the speed of a lightning bolt.
I was scared. The trees and occasional house blurred by every moment we spent speeding down the road. I looked to Zach, his eyes beaming with anger and hatred. I was scared for him.
“Zach, slow down!” I demanded.
He spoke as if he didn’t hear me, “I should go back there and break every bone in his body.” His voice was like an untamed animal.
“No! That’s the anger talking!” I couldn’t calm him like this; I needed to look into his eyes. “Please! You’re going to kill us both!”
I watched as the muscles in his neck made a swallowing motion, as if he was physically swallowing his pride. The car slowly came to a stop, and he parked the car on the side of the road. He instantly got out of the car. I watched as he walked into the forest just beyond the side of the road. I got out of the car to follow him, but he was already out of sight.
The clouds were grayish-white in color. The gray deciduous trees had no leaves on them, only long, twisting branches. The ground on which I walked had a thin layer of white snow; I followed my brother’s tracks. There was a slight nip in the air, but I could barely feel it. My only concern was for my brother.
I caught up to him, his eyes staring deep into the woods in front of him. “Zachy…” I whispered, trying to get his attention.
He looked to me, those kyanite eyes reflecting the snow perfectly again, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean-”
I got closer to him, covering his lips with my finger. “Shhh…it wasn’t your fault.” I said softly.
“I shouldn’t have acted like that, I let my hatred get the best of me.” he said, his voice in a state of seclusion.
“Sweetie…you were defending dad. We both know what mom did, we both know the truth.” I said, sighing as I continued, “But we can’t dwell on the fact that her side of the family is completely insane. I mean, all they are is liars and cheaters. That’s all they ever have been.”
He didn’t say anything.
I continued to talk in his silence, “You’re not the angry person…you never have been. So don’t be that person.” I hugged him, holding him tightly against my body. His warmth grasped my body like a heated blanket. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding my lower back. I placed the side of my head against his leather covered chest. I listened to his heart beat. It was calm, in a perfect rhythm. I knew the anger and hatred had left. I knew that my presence calmed him.
“I love you. That will never change, no matter what.” I said softly.
He spoke just as soft as me, “I love you too.”
My body tingled and fluttered. I reached up onto my toes and kissed him. This time, I didn’t stop. My lips and mouth tingled with desire and lust. I stopped to breathe for a moment. “You know what sounds great right now…” I said slowly.
“What?” he asked softly, completely unaware of what I was about to say.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/family-drama-with-my-brother-part-1.aspx">Family Drama with my Brother (part 1)</a>