I sat with my back erect on the edge of the large tan couch. It was around 8 at night, I wore pink pajama pants and a plain white tee. My brother was sitting on the sand-colored carpet in front of me. His back was up against the couch and his shoulders nestled between my skinny legs. He wore stone-washed jeans and a royal blue tee. I ran my fingers through his shiny, angelically soft bronze hair as I watched him play Skyrim on our 47” flat screen. His black Smartphone was sitting on the carpet next to him. It beeped twice, and he put his game on pause to pick it up. The screen flashed, and he had a text message. I spied on him as he opened the text, it was from his girlfriend.
It read, “I’m on my way now.”
“See you in a bit.” He replied to her. Then put his game on unpause to continue playing.
Lexi was on her way over. I took a deep breath, trying to suppress my jealousy.
I spoke quickly, “So, how was your day today?”
“Eh, it was ok.” he said softly.
“Only ok?” I asked.
He didn’t respond he just played his game. “Zach?” I asked.
There was still no response. I grew worried for him. I immediately threw my leg over him and hopped off of the couch to kneel next to him. I placed one of my hands on his hard shoulder.
“Zach, don’t ignore me. What’s going on?” I asked, worried about him.
He didn’t look at me, “I’m fine. It’s just, I haven’t seen Lexi all day and I miss her. That’s all.”
I didn’t speak, as a moment of envy in my heart was overwhelmed by emptiness. I felt worthless, like my company wasn’t enough for him. I pushed my bright blonde hair back, making sure he had no chance of noticing the tears forming in my eyes.
“Well, um…” I said softly, trying to say anything I could to erase the subject. The tears faded from my eyes.
He put his game on pause and looked at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked sternly. His eyes were in a lock with mine. I couldn’t hold back any longer, I needed to get something out, anything out. The tears began to form again. I felt my lower lip quiver as I looked down with my hair falling and obstructing his view of my face.
“You just, spend a lot of time with her…” I whispered, as a couple of tears fell from my eyes.
“Baby…” he said, “That doesn’t mean she’s more important than you…come here.” He grabbed my hip and pulled me closer to him. I nearly pounced on him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. The sides of our heads pressed together. His arms holding my hips, as I bathed in his warmth.
“Don’t make me…” he whispered.
My heart stopped. What could he have possibly had in mind? “Make you what…” I whispered back.
His hands ran up my sides and his fingers dug into them, tickling me.
I jumped, “No! Stop! Don’t!” I shouted as I was laughing uncontrollably. I tried to pull away and resist him, but he pushed me down. I lay on my back as he tickled my sides and tummy. I laughed as I tried grabbing his hands, but he was too strong for me.
Finally he stopped, and rested his hands on my tummy. I looked down the length of my skinny body and noticed my legs were spread apart, and he was on his knees in between them. Slowly he glided his hands down my tummy and to my crotch. I began to sweat and breathe faster as his fingers got closer and closer to my vagina. He stopped just above my clitoris and finally let go. A part of me wanted him to touch me again, to feel me and to make me beg for more. The other part of me wanted to get up and leave in shame and embarrassment.
He leaned forward, his body directly over mine. I flew with excitement as images and thoughts of him and I being completely naked in this position, charged through my mind. His face slowly came down to mine, our eyes locked together. I couldn’t help myself, I need to kiss him. I pushed my face towards him, but then, the doorbell rang.
“That’s Lexi.” he said. He immediately jumped up to his feet and climbed the stairs to the main floor. I sat up, covering my face with my hands. I breathed slowly, trying to forget what just happened. But I couldn’t. I needed his kiss. I needed his love. I needed his body. I needed his warmth…and now it was all going to Lexi. I got back on my feet just as Zach and Lexi returned, holding hands. I glanced at Lexi, her perfect petite body, with light brown hair and bright blue eyes. She wore a white tee with a small purple scarf, blue jeans and a leather belt.
“Hi Lydia.” she said, smiling at me.
I smiled back, “Hey!” It took all of my inner strength to not express my envy of her.
“Lydia, would you mind if Lexi and I had some time alone?” Zach asked.
His words felt like bullets to my soul. I wanted to collapse in the safety-net of his arms. But I knew I needed to be vigorous and show them that nothing was wrong.
“Sure, I don’t mind!” I said, faking a smile.
I walked upstairs to the main floor. The wooden floors were cold against my bare feet, but I couldn’t move. I stood at the beginning of the second staircase, frozen. Thoughts of Lexi holding Zach began to corrupt my mind. My legs began to tremble; I could barely keep myself upright. I gripped the railing, and slowly pulled myself up the stairs. My lips began to quiver as tears formed in my eyes. Thoughts of Lexi kissing Zach bolted through my mind as I reached the top of the stairs and walked down the long hallway, past my bathroom and past my Daddy’s office to my room. I opened the door and closed it immediately. It was pitch-black. I took off my tee and bra, dropping them to the floor with complete apathy. I did the same with my pajama pants and panties. I was completely naked, and colder than Alaskan air.
I slipped into my glacier of a bed…shivering…crying…alone…empty. Images of Lexi seducing Zach possessed my mind, and I lost it. I was balling my eyes out. I could not cope with the silence and solitude anymore. I needed to tell him how I felt. My heart couldn’t handle it anymore.
I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed my phone, I sent a quick text to Zach that read, “Come here for a sec…”
Moments after pressing send, I heard a knock on my door. It opened slightly, and I heard the perfect, recognizable male voice.
“Lydia, are you in here?” Zach said softly.
I sniffed, “Yeah…”
“What’s wrong, babe?” he said, as he entered my room, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of my bed and placed his hand on my tummy, with the blankets covering it.
I took his hand with both of mine. “Zach…I love you more than anyone or anything in the world.” I said.
“I love you too. We both know that.” he said softly.
“But…I love you more…” I said, trying to say something indirectly.
He paused, “What do you mean?”
“…cuddle? And I’ll explain…” I asked softly and innocently.
He pulled the blankets off me and cuddled into me, but paused for a moment.
“Lydia…are you, naked?” he asked.
“Yeah…” I said.
“Ok, um…” he said as he adjusted himself. He lay on his side, on his elbow, facing me. I pulled the blankets back on us and I was drenched in his warmth.
He spoke again, “So, care to explain?”
I took a deep breath, “Touch me…”
I felt his warm hand being placed on my tummy. I felt tingly, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed to feel him touch me. I grabbed his hand with both of my own, and slowly slid his hand down my tummy, past my crotch, to my clitoris. I moaned slightly, and Zach didn’t say a word. I let him go, and he slowly rubbed my clitoris. Pleasure charged through my nerves as his fingers rubbed faster and faster. I lost all control of myself. I grabbed his neck and jaw and pulled him closer to me, kissing him passionately as he rubbed my clitoris. I moaned into his mouth, as his fingers entered my pussy. I couldn’t believe how wet I was, my virgin pussy giving him such easy access with two fingers. He slid them in and out of me, I could feel an orgasm building up inside. I reached down and pulled his fingers out of me before I did.
I lay there, recovering from the gallons of pleasure and excitement I had just received. I was breathing deeply, but was cut off from a kiss from my brother. I kissed him back, grabbing the back of his head as we did. We paused for a moment.
“What now?” he whispered.
“All I want is more kisses from you.” I whispered back.
He kissed me again, as I kissed him.
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