“You’re joking right? You completely understand what I just asked you?”
I was standing in the kitchen with my mother while she prepared a chicken casserole for dinner. School was excruciatingly boring and I was a little disappointed to come back to our shabby old apartment after having spent the night at my dad’s lavish hotel room.
“Yes Aria, I understand and I think it’ll be good for you if you go and live with your father for the rest of the year.”
I could hardly believe my ears.
“Good riddance!” Rob yelled out from the living room. My stepdad was glued to the television per usual, with beer in hand.
I ignored his snotty comment and handed the black pepper shaker to my mom.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s just teasing you.” She tried to make me feel better. Right
…I knew Rob was ecstatic I was leaving.oOo
Dinner was a total drag. Throughout the entire time that I was sat at the table, I couldn’t get my mind off my dad. I kept hoping he would text me, but he didn’t. I guess he was busy. I mean, he hadn’t texted or called all day. Was he mad at me? Was he having second thoughts about inviting me to come live with him? I was totally panicking in my mind, so much that it was making me lose my appetite.
“May I be excused?”
“No, sit down and eat your damn meal.” Rob grumbled with a mouth full of casserole.
“But I feel sick, I can’t finish the rest.”
My stepdad pounded his fist down on the table so hard that the plates and utensils bounced. “Eat your damn food! What are you teaching your younger sisters? Goddamn anorexic
I stood up, my hands shaking from anger. “I’m not
“Aria, sit down. Robert please, it’s been a rough day.”
“You need to discipline her better Emily! She’s your daughter!”
“My daughter? She’s our daughter!”
They started arguing back and forth while I just stood there, almost catatonic, watching them.
“Not anymore since that son of a gun has come to claim his bastard child!”
That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed the plate full of steaming mashed potatoes and slammed it into his face. It was fight or flight.
“Aria!” My mother looked mortified, in shock while my brothers and sisters laughed.
“You fucking bitch! I’m going to whip you for this!”
I couldn’t have left the dining room any quicker, as I sprinted down the hallway to my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me and locking it. There were tears in my eyes and I was panicking because I knew that lock wouldn’t hold. Rob was like a ginormous angry bull, he wouldn’t stop until he had his horns digging into me, causing maximum damage.
I leaned my weight against my white dresser and pushed it so that it was covering the door. Seconds later, the psychotic bull began to pound his body against the barricaded surface that divided predator from prey.
“You little bitch let me in!”
My hands trembled, as I managed to pull my phone out of my pocket to send Noah a text. Text message from Aria to Noah: Can u plz come and get me? Im @ home. Rob has gone psycho.
My stepdad kept slamming his body against the door, attempting to break the lock as my dresser rocked back and forth. I was scared, because I knew that if he got in, he would pull out his belt, hold me down, and flog me until I’d bleed.
“Robert, stop! Stop this now!”
“That fucking whore nearly burnt my face off!”
“Please! I beg you, stop! Let me talk to her!”
I heard my mom cry out in pain, probably because he most likely shoved her against the wall. Please, please text me back.
It was all I could think about and he wasn’t responding. As much as I hated to disturb him from whatever he was doing, it was a big time SOS situation for me, so I dialed Noah’s number and prayed he’d pick up. Meanwhile, Rob kept yelling and pounding on the door. “You’ve reached Noah Hunter, please leave your name and number after the tone, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.”
Shit! Why, why did I have to be stupid and piss him off like that?
It was too late for regret. My step dad was jabbing some sort of screw driver into the lock, and I was like cornered, vulnerable prey.
I glanced at my window and opened it. It was definitely a long way down, and I had no idea how the hell I would get down there, but there was enough space for me to walk along the ledge to get over to the unit next to us. My only chance was to tap on the window and pray that the neighbours would let me in so I could escape through the door of their apartment.
I threw on my black leather jacket, grabbed my hand bag and stepped out onto the ledge. Luckily I wasn’t wearing heels, just a pair of black converse sneakers.
I avoided looking down and moved my body, side stepping carefully, while my breasts were pressed flush against the brick wall of the building. It didn’t take me very long to reach the neighbour’s living room window. They were an elderly couple, and I rarely ever spoke to the old woman, but whenever she saw me in the hallway, I would politely smile at her and say hi.
I tapped on the glass and some younger woman appeared out of the corner of the room and opened the window.
“Who are you? What are you doing outside of my parent’s window sill?”
My face and finger tips were freezing as I struggled to explain.
They had the television on loud, so they probably couldn’t hear Rob shouting and attempting to break down my door, but it only took the woman a few seconds to hear Rob’s violent cursing before she helped me inside. Now she understood why I was standing outside the ledge of their window sill.
“Do you want us to call the police?”
“No, no, please don’t.” I really didn’t want to get my mom into trouble. I was this close to leaving this shit hole, and tonight was my fault. I provoked Rob.
Quickly apologizing to my neighbours, I ran out of the apartment, and bolted toward the exit door because the elevator took forever to wait on. I went down what seemed to be an endless flight of stairs, until I reached a door and pushed through it. My feet finally hit the pavement. Freedom at last.
I sprinted away from my apartment building, reaching a deserted alleyway. Hopefully he wouldn’t come after me, I prayed he wouldn’t.
Pulling out my cellphone, I attempted to try Noah again. Dammit, my battery was dead
. There was no way of reaching my dad now, unless a payphone would magically appear, and most of the payphones were taken down in my neighbourhood.
I fished for my wallet in my hand bag, (thank god I had some cash) and then walked out of the alleyway to signal a cab. My next destination was clear in my head.oOo
My evening had been a dull one to say the least. I was having dinner with one of my college buddies from law school who had joined a firm in NYC some years back. We were at some high end restaurant, discussing one of his cases; a consumer’s products-liability case. The conversation was boring and the food wasn’t the best, but that wasn’t what made my evening so terrible. What made it absolutely horrible was finding out that I had turned my cellphone on silent, and then only realizing this after getting into my car.
There was one missed call from Aria, and my heart dropped as soon as I read her text message. Her cellphone was off when I tried calling her back, and this only made me worry more. I turned on the engine and floored it to that prick’s apartment.oOo
No one was answering when I buzzed their number, and Aria’s phone was still off. I was about to call Emily when luckily someone walked out of the entrance door, giving me the opportunity to slip inside.
The dysfunctional pair were arguing so loud that the neighbours could’ve heard them. My daughter was all I could think about in that moment as I pounded my fist on the door.
There was momentary silence, and then the door unlocked. Emily looked like she had been crying. This was bad, real bad. I let myself inside and scanned the perimeter of the room. There was silence, which led me to believe that their kids weren’t home. Good.
“Who the fuck do you think you are barging in uninvited?” he was definitely a big guy alright, big as in all his weight was in his belly. The man had a beer gut the size of a nine month pregnant lady.
“Where is my daughter!?” I ignored the fat prick and frantically searched the room and hallway. There was a door at the end of the hall that looked like it was destroyed with a baseball bat.
“Noah—Noah she’s gone
My whole world flipped upside down when I walked in, because the surrounding evidence in the room was enough for me to orchestrate exactly what took place earlier. In a panic, I leaned out the window, praying to God I wouldn’t find her body lying dead on the ground, and I was relieved to see only a half filled dumpster below, but it didn’t make my volcanic rage simmer down.
“You motherfucking son of a bitch….” Any ounce of civility I had went out the window along with my daughter as I strode past Emily and stormed off towards the coward who was going to shamelessly beat on my daughter. I was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget.
“Noah! Please! Stop!”
I grabbed the S.O.B by the collar and pulled him into an empty bedroom, shutting the door and dodging his punch before I swung with my right fist, smashing the bones on the left side of his face, and then punching him again in the nose. I stunned him with enough pain that gave me the opportunity to strike a blow in his gut. He keeled over, as I kicked him to the floor. I wasn’t satisfied yet, far from it. Unleashing my inner psycho, I got on top of him and punched his face in, alternating fists; left, left, left, right, right, left, right.
I was trained in boxing and mixed martial arts, but clearly this guy couldn’t throw a punch to save his life.
“You’re going to kill him!”
All I could see was black as Emily grabbed my shoulders and pulled me off of him. I rose to my feet and circled the bastard like a vulture, screaming and yelling, disengaging my merciless madness on him. After a while, Rob’s face was unrecognizable and he was bleeding profusely from both nostrils and mouth.
“Who’s a tough guy now!? Huh? You abusive fucker! This is the last time you ever see your wife and kids again.”
I kicked him hard in the ribs in one striking blow, before I assaulted him again repeatedly, three times. “Stop!”
she was crying hysterically and it was only making me crazier. “Get the fuck out of the room, Em!”
I shouted furiously.
“No! Please stop, I don’t want the police to show up!”
“Why? Does he have a record? Let me guess, assault and battery. You married a fucking criminal?”
The fucker groaned and clutched his ribs, while he coughed up some blood on their cheap carpet.
I noticed his belt on his bed, and then looked down at his trousers. It didn’t take me very long to put two and two together. He was going to use it as a torture weapon on my daughter. Whatever self-control I had, escaped me in three short seconds as I grabbed the belt, coiled it around his throat and pulled his weight upwards while I sat on the edge of the bed, choking him like the psycho I had become.
“Say hello to the Grim Reaper asshole!” I tightened my grasp on the leather belt, pulling while he choked and struggled to break free. Emily was screaming and slapping my arms but I wouldn’t release him from my death grip.
“Noah please! Let him go! He can’t breathe!”
No, I wouldn’t let him go. Not until I disgraced the fucker.
“Slap him, slap him across the face!” I growled at her.
“What!? No! Just let him go!”
“I said slap him now or I kill him!” I squeezed my grip on the belt and watched her face go pale from fear. She cried, her eyes pleading for me to show some sort of mercy.
“You fucking bitch, I can’t believe you allow him to raise a hand on our daughter while you still have the audacity to defend this scumbag? Slap his fucking face!
” I violently screamed at Emily.
Clearly I had pressed the right button and gave her just enough of a push, because she finally surrendered to my will and slapped her husband across the face, screaming and crying at the same time. Whether she was motivated by my influence or motivated by her instincts to keep him alive, it didn’t matter to me. I was relishing the moment.
I tugged on the belt so hard that his eyes were nearly popping out, and I took great gratification in hearing the sound of his garbled breaths. “Now tell him what a fucking failure of a father and husband he is! Tell him!” I was livid as I stared her down with murderous eyes.
.” Her mascara was runny and her badly highlighted dirty blond hair looked like a tousled mop on her head.
“Slap him and say it you bitch!” I was yelling so loud that I was sure my voice was vibrating the walls.
She finally succumbed to me and started to slap the low life across face, repeating whatever mantra of words I told her to recite, like a good submissive slave.
“You’re a failure! You failed me! You failed us! You had no right to hurt Aria, ever! You have no right to hurt me and hit me!
” Well, well, well, it seemed that asshole had a tendency to beat on his wife as well. This only fed my rage more so. I didn’t like Emily, but violence against women was just plain wrong, and any man who raised his hand on a woman wasn’t a man at all.
It was like I had possessed her body and she was finally giving that good for nothing the punishment of his life; humiliation.
I could feel the power I had over her, and I was truly in my element; complete and totally unrestricted, power and control. It was like a rush.
When I felt satisfied with her assault on her husband, I fastened the belt around his neck like a collar and dragged him across the floor, out of their bedroom. The man’s face was beet red and bloodied from my own personal beatings.
“Are you enjoying this, Rob?” I couldn’t recognize my own voice, because a twisted version of my former self had taken over; my dark doppelganger.
He choked continuously and tried to free himself from the belt that I had wound around his throat, but I wouldn’t let him escape that easily. Instead, I dragged his fat ass down the hall, into Aria’s bedroom.
“Let’s re-enact a scenario that I’m sure took place many times in this room while in my absence.” I grinned wickedly while unbuckling the belt, quickly unravelling it from around his neck while he gasped for breath. The heel of my shoe met his raggedy ass while I kicked him to the ground and reached down to rip his under shirt in half with my bare hands.
His back was now exposed and I was ready to unleash my wrath on him. Curling the brown belt around the palm of my hand, I began to whip him, flogging him relentlessly as he cried out in pain. Every time he tried to get back up, I kicked him, with a hard blow to the rib or spine. My blood was thrumming in my veins as my adrenaline cranked on overdrive.
Every painful moan that escaped his lips was like music to my ears. I didn’t want to stop. I felt like a maestro conducting a beautiful symphony of pain, and once I was done performing my masterpiece, I would be well received with a standing ovation from a crowd filled with women and children who had suffered abuse.
“Don’t you ever, ever
lay your grubby, slimy hands on my daughter again! I won’t even give you the opportunity! If I find out that you’ve laid a finger on your wife and kids, your ass is going behind bars. You sick fuck! Do you hear me!?” I flogged him over and over again until bloody welt marks appeared on his skin.
“You’re the sick fuck!”
I had completely zoned out into my own little universe of pain, when I heard Emily’s voice echoing in the background.
“Noah! Stop this! My kids have arrived home! Please don’t do this in front them! Stop, I beg you!”
“Go to your room Jason!”
The voices kept echoing as I reluctantly dropped the belt. My chest was heaving up and down while I pushed my raging demon back inside his padlocked cell. I had gone completely berserk.
“Get the hell out of our apartment!” Emily yelled at me as I abandoned the bludgeoned good for nothing meat slab on the floor. My fists were bleeding and my freshly laundered suit and tie was all soiled from sweat. There was no point in asking her where our daughter was. It was clear that she had no idea where Aria escaped to. “You’re a sadistic bastard! I’m pressing charges!”
That asshole was brave enough to cuss me out now that I was a good safe distance away from him.
“Go ahead! Please do it! I dare you!”
I had no desire to go back and beat on him, even though I knew I could. My job here was done. His threats were meaningless. I put him in his place, and my blood lust was sated. Now I just needed to find my daughter.
I made myself comfortable inside my dad’s luxurious hotel suite. Unfortunately, the concierge downstairs hadn’t recognized me when I walked in. Yesterday my dad pretty much introduced me as his daughter to anyone who engaged him in conversation. The hotel manager was present when we had checked in, and Noah briefly told him about how we were reunited again. He seemed really happy for us, and was a very friendly middle aged man. He ended up giving my father his personal business card in case he ever needed anything. I was lucky he was there when I arrived at the hotel lobby, because the other employees behind the desk weren’t going to let me up that easily. I told the manager that my cellphone was dead and that I was trying to reach my dad. So he called Noah and left him a voice mail to let him know I was waiting for him at the hotel. He was also kind enough to give me a room key, escorting me to my dad’s suite so I could safely wait for him.
So there I was sitting on the sofa waiting for Noah to return, and I was still a little shaken up by the events that happened earlier. But I was grateful to be in a calm environment. I just needed to see him. I needed him to hold me and tell me that I wouldn’t ever have to live with my mom and stepdad again. At the same time in the back of my mind, I was getting paranoid; all these ‘what ifs’
kept popping up in my head.
Almost an hour had passed since I invaded his space, and I just couldn’t sit still. So I kept pacing around the window, praying that he would walk in any minute now. That’s when something caught my attention, and the front door began to unlock.
There he was, in all his glory…my father had finally returned.
“Aria?” he settled his briefcase down on the ground, and I immediately ran into his arms.
“I’ve been looking all over for you. Where the hell have you been? I came back to the hotel as soon as I received that message from the manager.” His body felt tense, and he sounded angry, but I didn’t want to let him go. I needed to feel his arms around me, and wanted to breathe him in for as long as possible.
“I called you and sent you a text but you didn’t respond, so I sort of… ran away.” I buried my face in his chest as he pulled me in closer to his body.
“Why haven’t you been answering your calls?” Noah grabbed my shoulders and gently pulled me off of him so he could look at my face.
“My cellphone battery died.”
I noticed the cuts and bruises as soon as he dropped his hands.
“Oh my god Noah, what happened?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He took off his trench coat and walked inside But I did worry about it.
“Did you…” It took me a moment to draw my own conclusion. “Get into a fight with Rob?”
He was silent again.
“You beat him up, didn’t you?” I was facing him now.
“He had it coming.” He muttered bitterly.
I brought his hands together to inspect them closer, but he pulled away.
“I just need some ice and the swelling will go down.”
“Um no, you don’t just need some ice. You need to clean those cuts first. Do you have a first aid kit?”
He studied my face for a moment, clenching his jaw before he answered me. “Medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”
“Let’s get you patched up then.” I pulled on his arm and made him follow me to the bathroom.
Noah was wearing a dark grey suit followed by white dress shirt. He removed his blazer and then rolled up his sleeves while I opened the first aid kit and sat on the counter. There were cuts around his knuckles that were still bleeding and he rinsed it off with water first.
I was prepared to rub Iodine on the wounds when he stopped me.
“Hydrogen Peroxide, Iodine, rubbing alcohol, all that stuff makes it worse when the skin is broken. That’s why doctors use it to clean an area before surgery. But when there’s a cut, all of the above can be toxic to skin cells, because it slows down healing. It’s killing healthy cells. And that stinging from the rubbing alcohol? That stuff hurts because it’s wiping out healthy tissue. The most effective way to clean a wound is to flush out the bacteria and debris with water.”
I looked at him inquisitively. “Did you drop med school before you decided on a law career?”
“It’s common sense, not difficult stuff to remember.” His lips curved up into a half smile as he glanced at me and chuckled.
“Well, I’ll remember that next time.” I matched his smile and put the bottle of Iodine away.
He shook the water off his hands while I grabbed some gauze to wrap around his injured knuckles.
“Did he try to hit you?”
Noah sighed and stared at the hand that was getting bandaged. Nurse Aria to the rescue
“No. I went after him. The damage done to your bedroom door is what first caught my eye when I came in looking for you. And when I walked in and saw that you had moved your dresser to block off the doorway, that’s all it took to make me go psychotic, because I figured out what had happened. I beat him up bad.”
“When you say bad…do you mean…hospitalized-bad
He met my gaze and I had to blink a few times because it was impossible to stare at him for longer than three seconds. Those eyes were a health hazard for my heart.
“Probably,” he answered, wryly. “I don’t regret it though.”
My dad was definitely indifferent about it. Maybe in his mind, it was some sort of accomplishment;
Confront the stepdad: Check
Threaten him: Check
Beat up the stepdad to a bloody pulp: Check
I felt this overwhelming amount of love for him, so much that it was too difficult to describe in words.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner, Aria.” He softened his expression, as the violent waves in his ocean eyes settled into calm waters.
“Noah, it’s okay. It’s not like you were expecting me to call you. I’m sure you want to know what happened.”
“No, actually I don’t, because whatever it was you said or did, you don’t deserve to be physically abused, and don’t ask me what I did to him either.” Those ocean eyes went from calm to turbulent waves in a matter of seconds.
“I threw a plate of hot mashed potatoes in his face.”
There was a five second silence, and then he threw his head back laughing, which made me laugh as well.
“Well, serves him right. I guess we both taught that bastard a lesson tonight.”
I smiled at him and finished bandaging his other hand. “I just hate that you’re hurt.” There was a pouty expression on my face.
“Don’t worry about it baby girl. It doesn’t even hurt. I don’t feel pain.”
“That’s impossible.” I countered back, arching an eyebrow at him.
“I don’t feel physical pain, just…”he paused for a moment. “A different
kind of pain.”
I understood him.
“I wish I could heal you.”
He smiled at me and caressed my cheek tenderly. “You do, more than you’ll ever know.”
I felt the air shift between us again as his eyes softened, warming me with his penetrating stare.
“I don’t want you to go back there. Ever
“But what about my things?”
“I don’t care. I’ll replace all your things with better things. We’ll take the next flight out of here on Sunday.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I hopped down from the counter and hugged his body. He always smelled so good, like after shave, cologne, and body wash all fused into one. I shivered when he wrapped his arms around me, and gasped slightly when his hand slid up the side of my shirt, rubbing the dimpled area of my lower back. Maybe it was an accident, but it made me hug him tighter, desperate to feel more skin on skin contact.
Noah took a deep breath and kissed the side of my head. “You really scared me tonight,” he whispered in my ear, and I trembled in his arms, affected by his seductive undertone.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I whispered back.
“I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you again, Aria.”
The vulnerability in his voice was bringing tears to my eyes. I blinked them away and withdrew, holding his face while I stared up at him, losing all sense of time and place.
“You just got me back. You won’t lose me.”
His smile seemed sad as he caressed my cheek with his thumb before he grazed it over my bottom lip. It was totally erotic and made my body temperature rise drastically as a heat began to spread from in between my thighs.
I wanted to kiss him. Oh god, I wanted it so badly and I knew it was wrong, but the feeling was there, the desire was there, and ignoring it was just simply impossible. There was some sort of electrical energy buzzing between us; a magnetic force field pulling us in closer towards each other. Or maybe it was just all in my head? I prayed that it wasn’t, because the way he was staring at me made me feel so naked and feverish.
“I’m glad you came here. I was ready to call the cops.”
My chest was filling with so many emotions; love, happiness, sadness, compassion, and my body felt dominated by feelings of lust, desire, and arousal.
“I need to hold you.” His voice made my stomach tighten in knots as he led me out of the bathroom. Noah was going to cuddle me in bed.
“Wait here, I’ll be right back.”
I lay down on the mattress, trying my best to hide my excitement as he left the room. He was taking surprisingly long, so I got out of bed and peered outside the bedroom door. He was drinking tiny vodka bottles from the mini bar in the living room. I had no idea why. Did he want to get drunk? Or maybe he actually was
in pain and needed some liquor to relax.
I bounced back into bed when I saw him approaching. He didn’t look intoxicated...yet. Oh my god, he was unbuttoning his shirt!
“I want to show you something.”
I watched him undo his shirt all the way before he pulled it back over his shoulders so that both of his beautifully sculpted pectoral muscles were in plain sight. He had a tattoo all in black ink. A dragon was wrapped around a bleeding heart that was drawn like an actual human heart. I couldn’t hold back my tears when I saw my name tattooed inside of it.
“You were always with me everywhere I went. I got this tattoo when I was nineteen. I wanted to keep you closest to my heart, even though you were physically out of reach.”
His words moved me in ways that I never thought were possible as my heart swelled with joy. I wanted nothing more than to show him how much I loved and needed him in that moment.
Noah sat down on the edge of the bed and then reclined his body, resting his head on a pillow. I mounted him, which seemed to catch him off guard before I leaned forward and kissed the tattoo on his chest. His skin felt cool against my warm lips.
He groaned quietly when I kissed him there, and it turned me on. I placed another kiss on his tattoo and then looked up at him.
“I love you, Aria.” He reached out and tucked back a strand of my hair behind my ear before he searched my eyes. My lips were burning, and my nipples were hard, I needed him to touch me, I wanted him to kiss me.
“It’s hard to believe that you’re my father.”
“Why’s that sweetheart?” he frowned and sat up, resting his back against the pillow and pulling me in closer so that I was sitting astride, on my knees. It felt relaxing to feel his fingers brushing through my hair.
It was difficult to construct a proper sentence that was related to any coherent thought, because all I could think about was how intimate we were with each other. I felt a whirlwind of emotions, and I couldn’t even begin to understand them.
“Because you’re young.”
Noah leaned forward and kissed my lower jaw, grazing his lips across my cheek, placing another gentle kiss while he wrapped his arms around my waist and breathed me in.
“Yeah, so? You’re young too.” He kept his face buried in my neck while he spoke.
I tried to slow down my breathing as he moved his hands inside the back of my shirt and massaged the dimples in my lower back. He was doing all kinds of things to me all at once, and I didn’t want him to stop.
“I’m sixteen, I’m old enough.”
Noah suddenly pulled back and looked at me, smiling wickedly. “You’re sixteen, that’s young enough
.” Oh god, his eyes were just so seductively intense.
I smiled when he kissed my chin. I swear I had never been showered with this much affection in my life up until that moment. My brain kept screaming ‘kiss him!’
but I was too afraid to even make such an attempt.
I dragged my hands down his shoulders and rubbed his chest affectionately. He closed his eyes, sighing contentedly while I traced every curve of his muscles with my palms.
Were fathers and daughters allowed to touch each other this way? I didn’t think so, but it didn’t bother me. In fact, I wanted more. I wanted so much more
I was taken by surprise when he leaned forward and kissed the center of my chest, right in between my breasts. It wasn’t like he kissed my naked skin, I was wearing a shirt, but still…it was hot.
“I love you so much.” His bright blue eyes stared into me, warming my body with his spellbinding gaze. If there was such a thing as reincarnation, I was positive that someone as beautiful and attractive as my dad would only walk this earth once every thousand years.
My heart so badly wanted to say it back, but I was afraid to say it out loud and I wasn’t sure why. If only he would let me show him. He pressed his forehead against my chest and I wrapped my arms around him, kneading my fingers through the back of his hair.
“Why do I feel this way about you?”
I was confused. “Why do you feel that you love me?
Er…I’m not sure.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” he grabbed my hips and slowly caressed them. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so…perfect.”
The contact made my breath quiver as I shut my eyes and tried to ignore my arousal.
“You’re perfect, Aria.” Noah slowly withdrew, while I opened my eyes to meet his gaze.
I swallowed hard and parted my lips to speak, “No I’m not. Really, I’m not.” I shook my head in protest.
He held my face and drew his lips closer, placing a kiss on both my cheeks, then my forehead, my nose and my chin. I was smiling like an idiot. His lips felt warm and made my skin tingle in the most pleasurable way.
“You have no idea how much power you possess over a man. I feel sorry for the boys at your school.”
I giggled in response and thought about wanting to possess him
. “I wasn’t expecting to feel this way about you…” Oh god, I said it.
His eyes searched mine for the longest while. “Lie down, let me hold you angel.”
I shifted off his lap and laid next to him while he moved in closer to me and spooned me. His naked chest was pressed right against my back, and I trembled when his hand caressed my hip, wrapping around my stomach, freeing a swarm of butterflies that fluttered about inside of me.
He kissed my right shoulder and I shivered when he brushed his hand up and down my tummy. My nipples were so erect, I was thankful that he couldn’t see. That would’ve been embarrassing.
“So tell me, how do you feel?”
Noah’s lips grazed my ear lobe, sending goose bumps all down my arms.
I took a moment to breathe and think carefully about how I would answer that question. Being in his arms like this felt like the closest thing to paradise, and I didn’t want to be kicked out of there just yet.
“I feel…something…between us.” Panic, anxiety, fear; those were all the emotions that rushed into my bloodstream.
He pulled me in closer to his body and caressed my hip and stomach with a lazy hand. I shut my eyes and tried to breathe as he slid his hand up higher so that his fingertips were resting right under my breast, barely touching. I breathed out slightly and licked my lips as he stroked my ribcage. There was a part of me that just wanted to turn over and flaunt my chest so he could see what he was doing to me, and in that moment, that devious side took over as I twisted my body and lay flat on my back, staring up at him.
“I feel something too…” His eyes were drenched in heat swirling with seduction as he rubbed my tummy side to side in a gentle motion. I couldn’t deny the sexual attraction I felt towards him any longer. My desire for him to consume me body and soul, was overriding my moral judgement. Whether it was right or wrong, I was ready to be engulfed by his inferno.
“I feel like I’m the luckiest father in the world.”
My heart sank when he said this, because for one short, sweet moment, I believed that he was feeling what I
was feeling. Well, I was wrong.
He had me so turned on that it was starting to hurt inside. My body craved his touch in places that made my cheeks flush in heat. If only he’d move his hand up an inch more, then it would land directly on my breast. Oh god, why was I even thinking these things?
Did he desire me too? Was this his way of trying to touch me and be close to me, but in a safe sense? Maybe the alcohol was getting to his head. Was that the reason why he downed all that liquor so quickly? So he could do this
with me? No, I was pretty sure it was my own sick mind.
“Yes baby girl?” His voice was relaxed, and deep.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Okay, what the hell kind of topic was that to discuss? Nice one, Aria.
I’m sure he felt awkward and my question made me feel super shy all of a sudden as I turned away from him, snuggling against his body so he would spoon me again.
“I’ve never experienced love at first sight, though I can’t say the same about the number of women who have laid eyes on me.” He chuckled a bit and I laughed.
“That’s cocky of you to say.”
“It’s usually always been lust at first sight for me.”
I shivered when he said lust.
“What about when you met your wife?” I couldn’t help but feel jealous.
“I was attracted to Vanessa when I met her, but I wouldn’t say that it was love at first sight. I believe that takes time for love to grow between two people.”
Is that what was growing between us? Love? And if you could call it love, what kind of love was it? How was he able to control my emotions so much with just one look?
“Why do you ask, princess? Is there someone you’re in love
I shook my head.
“Come on, you can tell me. What’s his name?”
I bit down on my lip and took a deep breath. “He’s older than me.” I could so imagine him knitting his brows together upon hearing this.
“How much older?” Noah didn’t sound too pleased.
“Umm…about five years.” Okay, so I lied. My father was sixteen years older than me, but I swear if you placed us side by side, you would only think he was five years older.
“Where did you meet him?”
I hesitated to go on. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a dumb crush anyway. It’ll probably go away.”
He kissed my shoulder and caressed my lower stomach.
“Sometimes even the smallest crush can be quite agonizing, because when you feel like you’re in love, your whole world suddenly begins to revolve around that person. They’re in your mind 24-7, and as euphoric as the feeling is when you’re around them, it can be heartbreaking at the same time when they don’t return your feelings or have no idea how you feel. I’m not sure what your history is with this guy, but you’re young, Aria. You should be dating boys your own age. I know I can’t dictate to you to feel a certain way. Sometimes you might attach yourself to a person who’s wrong for you in so many ways, but the heart can’t help it. Can you tell me a little bit about him?” his voice was gentle and soft, but I didn’t want to open up. It was making me emotional for some reason.
“No, I’d rather just forget about it.”
He seemed reluctant to let it go, but he eventually did and kissed my cheek. “I’m always here for you if you need to talk.”
“Thank you.” I murmured.
“Don’t mention it. You need to get some sleep though. You’ve got a school day tomorrow.”
“Can you sleep next to me?” I turned around and faced him. His face was inches away from mine.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?” My lips curved upside down into a visible frown as he sat up and got off the bed.
“Because, Aria!” Noah’s angry outburst just came out of nowhere. One minute he was sweet, gentle and affectionate, and the next minute he was explosive and mean. “I’m going to take a quick shower. Get some rest. Goodnight.” All the gentleness completely drained from his voice.
I had discovered that there were two bathrooms in the suite, but only one bathroom had a shower stall, and that was in the master bath. He disappeared into the bathroom, and shut the door behind him.
Tears filled my eyes as I sat there, feeling confused and rejected. What just happened?oOo
I was silently crying in the darkness as I lay on my side, hugging a pillow and watching the city lights through the window. It was hard falling asleep because my mind was a train wreck. Noah’s behaviour towards me made me feel so close to him, and it hurt when he spontaneously pushed me away within a blink of an eye. Loneliness was something I had gotten used to, but it was hard to cope with that emotion after discovering what it was like to feel so close to someone.
I didn’t have any pyjamas to wear, so I just stripped down to my panties, leaving my T shirt on.
His shower took longer than he said it would as I listened to the faint sound of water pouring down onto the bathroom tiles. I began to imagine his naked body under the water, as he lathered his muscles with body wash; his shoulders, arms, under arms, chest, stomach…leading to the mysterious length of his—
The bathroom door suddenly swung open as white light poured into the room. I raised myself up a bit to look at him. There was a white towel hugging his waist in the lowest position possible, and I couldn’t help but gawk at his body. Tiny droplets of water rolled down his chest and stomach, as steam evaporated off his toned, buff physique. How did he not have a modelling career? He looked unreal.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, I was awake.”
He grabbed another towel and dried off his chest and arms before he walked towards me. I turned my body to the other side when he stood in front of me, showing him that I was still upset at him.
Noah sighed and grabbed an extra pillow from the bed. “Sleep well, Aria.”
I remained silent as he walked around the room to grab some clothes before he switched off the bathroom light and walked out.
Was it frustration I was feeling? Maybe I was just mad at myself for developing an emotional dependency on him so soon. I was confused. Regardless of my new list of anxieties, I closed my eyes and tried to force my body to shut down and sleep.oOo
I had no idea what time it was when I felt the edge of the mattress sink down to the side. The covers slowly pulled back as a warm body shifted in beside me, spooning me. That familiar smell of body wash and after shave delighted my sense of smell as I realized right away who it was that was holding me. It was impossible not to recognize that intoxicating scent.
Noah wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me in closest to his body, so that my back was pressed flush against his naked chest. My heart immediately began to accelerate when I felt his crotch rub up against me, and I was disappointed when he backed off a bit. I don’t think he realized that I just had panties on at first. He kissed my shoulder and placed a gentle hand on my hip.
“I’m sorry angel. I can’t fall asleep knowing I hurt or upset you in anyway. It’s just been a stressful day for me. So I apologize for getting short tempered with you.” He whispered softly in my ear.
His confession only brought on the water works even more as I sniffled, feeling him reach over to wipe my tears away with his thumb. I had no clue why I was crying. I wanted to turn and face him, but he held me in place.
“Don’t turn around. Just let me hold you.”
And I obeyed him as he cuddled me as close as he possibly could, keeping his lower body away from touching me.
“Close your eyes, princess.”
My deepest desires would have to wait before I could carry them out and put them into action. The last thing I wanted to do was anger him and make him leave again. It felt like there was a huge hole in my heart when Noah was far from me. Any kind of contact was better than none. These were my last thoughts before I closed my eyes, and surrendered to sleep.oOo
It was almost six in the morning when I woke up. I still had half an hour to stay in bed before I had to get up, shower and get ready for school. And trust me, it wasn’t my body clock that woke me up earlier than expected, or New York City traffic below, or even the sun shining in through the blinds…it was Noah’s hard on that had woken me, because his cock was grinding against me and I was completely locked in his arms.
I began to wonder when and at what point during the night did our bodies mold into each other so intimately, and then it occurred to me that it didn’t matter. What mattered most was that I was conscious of it now. He was in a deep sleep and I feared to move or breathe in a different rhythm because I didn’t want to wake him up. I wanted to feel his length against me. He was rock hard and I blushed when I realized that my panties were wet. Oh my god, had I been sleeping in dampened panties all through the night?
The thought was embarrassing.
I held my breath in panic when I heard him mumble something in his sleep, and then grind his cock harder against me. Noah made me shiver when he rubbed my stomach, sliding his hand up to my breast. Oh. My. God. Kill. Me. Dear. Lord. Now.
My pulse was racing, my stomach was in knots, my nipples were hard, and I was aroused beyond comprehension. I wanted him. I wanted him badly,
and my body surrendered to my secret impulses as I slowly rubbed my curvy bottom against him. A quiet but pleasurable groan escaped his lips as he squeezed my breast and muttered;
My desire quickly vanished and I felt sick to my stomach when I heard him mumble his wife’s name. I hadn’t met this Vanessa woman (who would be my step mom) and I already had an extreme dislike towards her.
I moved his hand away from my breast and escaped his arms without waking him before I slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/i-shouldnt-feel-this-way-chapter-10.aspx">I Shouldn't Feel This Way- Chapter 10</a>