ARIA June 28 , 2013 10:02am Dear Diary, So I finally graduated! Freedom! Yay! I received my high school diploma two weeks ago. Mom even flew down to take part in my grad ceremony, and thankfully she didn’t bring Rob. I think Noah would’ve killed him for sure if he showed up. I had been avoiding the inevitable moment of opening the stack of envelopes that came in from the list of colleges I had applied to. But after many weeks of procrastination, I finally opened them today and got accepted at Stanford and Columbia University. Do I have any clue what I truly want to study? No. Do I know which university I want to go to? Obviously Columbia considering the fact that the campus is in New York. I got a scholarship as well since I graduated with honors. This is good news, because now I won’t have to depend on Noah to pay for my education. I’d rather bus tables part time than to accept a penny from him. I just need to make a clean break. I can’t be in his life, and he can’t be in mine. Not when I feel this way about him. It hurts too much, and he just can’t understand it. Changing subjects… normally prom is held in April or late May, but my high school decided to host the big night this evening at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills. It’s going to be a masquerade theme, which is pretty cool. I’ve never been to a masquerade ball. I’ve already picked out my prom dress. Jess and I went shopping last week and I bought this beautiful red gown that’s sequin embellished along the train of the dress. It’s strapless with a slim fitting bodice and open back. You definitely need to have a nice hour glass figure to pull it off, but I’m more than confident with my body, and when I tried it on…it just looked like it was made just for me. So what has my life been like these past two weeks? Well, there’s been a lot of tension between Noah and I, but that’s nothing new. We just keep pretending not to feel attracted to one another. I’ve been having difficulty keeping the peace with my stepmom because I just can’t respect her. I think she knows that Noah’s onto her, so she’s been on her best behaviour not to get caught. That private investigator he hired won’t be capturing any incriminating evidence anytime soon. Noah’s flying out of town tonight—work related. I think he mentioned having to meet with a client in Seattle, and he won’t be back until Monday night. This makes it pretty convenient for me, because I plan to fly back to New York tomorrow evening. I’ve even bought my ticket in advance, and no one knows about it. Mom and Rob won’t be expecting me. I suppose I’ll just drop in as an ‘unwelcome surprise’. It can’t be that bad. Not as bad as what I go through being around my dad. I just have to survive the remaining weeks of summer until school starts, and then I can move into a dorm with a roommate. Noah will eventually find out that I’m gone, but it’ll be too late. He’ll probably get on the next flight out to NYC and will try to convince me to come back, but I’ll refuse. I just can’t live like this anymore. We’re constantly around each other, the sexual tension never goes away, and I’m madly in love with him. Sure, it’s morally wrong, but it’s what my heart feels, and I can’t change it. I can’t hug him and feel normal ‘daughterly feelings’. They just don’t exist, and no amount of therapy will ever change or fix that. Every time I look at him, I think about undressing him. Every time I kiss his cheek, the memories of our passionate kisses flicker in my mind. Anytime he touches me, my skin flares up in heat, and just staring at him is enough to unleash a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I’m in love with him, and I wish I wasn’t. I really have been trying to just keep things amicable between us, but it’s constantly an epic fail. I’m completely blind and ignorant to the fact that I’m biologically his daughter. Noah’s my soul mate, my twin flame, and I wish he could see me the same way I see him. We’re always able to see through each other, finish each other’s sentences, think the same things, and have the same interests. We’re so compatible it’s unreal, despite our age difference and the tragic genetic factors. I don’t even want kids…we could always adopt. I just want…him. I want all of him. And maybe it’s selfish of me to leave like this, but loving him this way is agonizing. I shouldn’t love him this way, but I do. It’s wrong in the eyes of God and society, but it doesn’t feel wrong in my heart and soul. (major sigh) anyway…I digress. I’m planning to have sex for the first time tonight, and I’m giving away my V card to Ryan Taylor. As cliché and disastrous as it sounds to have sex on Prom night, I really don’t care. I just want to get it over with, just so that I won’t have the label of ‘virgin’ hanging over my head anymore. Ryan thinks I’ll be attending Stanford in the fall, but we’re not officially an item, so I don’t feel obligated to tell him about my plans to ‘runaway’. He and I will be having a little after party of our own after prom. Ryan’s reserved us a room at the hotel. Noah will be out of town, so I won’t have to worry about getting home on time, and Vanessa won’t give a shit. She’ll probably end up going out tonight, or will most likely meet up with that nasty prick she’s spreading her legs for. It’s so unfair that she’s getting away with this. I wish Noah would just take my word for it. He replaced my phone, but told me if I ever contact Evan or meet up with him again, he will confiscate my cell effective immediately. I sent my uncle an email explaining the circumstances I was in, and I made sure to tell him that I would be in touch with him very soon. Once I’m in New York, I’m pretty much free to do whatever I want. These past two weeks have been weird…I kept feeling like someone was watching me or stalking me. You know that feeling you get, like somebody or something is right behind you? Well, that’s how I felt anytime I was somewhere public. I’d constantly be looking over my shoulder, but no one would be there. I’m not sure why I’m so paranoid all of a sudden. Plus, I keep having these night terrors. Not sure why it’s started again. Well, it’s almost noon and I have an appointment at the nail salon with Jessica. Her prom dress looks beautiful. The design is almost similar to mine except it’s royal blue, has a shoulder strap, the open back isn’t as revealing, and the train of the dress isn’t as long. We literally tried on gown after gown in so many different designer shops for like three hours straight until we found the perfect prom dress. Steph and I aren’t on speaking terms since that incident happened at Avalon. Luckily, this hasn’t really affected my social life at school. She did try to isolate me from everybody, but Ryan’s friends love me, so the bitch failed. I really don’t know why I’ve decided to sleep with Ryan. Maybe I just want to destroy every remaining fragment of my innocence. Maybe I want to get back at Noah…maybe I genuinely don’t give a shit anymore. I wish I could wake up to an alternate reality where Noah would be mine, and we would live on this beautiful island far away from the rest of the world in our own little paradise. He could make love to me in the sand, as the ocean tide turned in, soaking our bodies while we would couple together, leaving an impression in the wet sand that would disappear every time the water would flow upon the shore. I would gaze up at a vanilla sky and completely surrender to every pleasurable sensation he would give me with his body…insert sigh here:___________ IN BIG CAPITAL LETTERS. I really need to get him out of my head. Why can’t I just be a normal teenager and obsess over sexy rock stars and actors? Until next time…which will probably be in the big apple. -the unfortunate unhappy :/ oOo
I still had about half an hour to kill before Ryan and my friends would arrive at the house to pick me up. Spending time at the spa and beauty salon with Jess was fun aside from the painful Brazilian wax I got done. I felt like a hairless Chihuahua. That was the price one had to pay for beauty. I guess I just wanted to look and feel perfect because it was my big night
after all. I don’t think that any guy would want to go down on a girl, only to cringe once discovering a huge patch of bush down there. I’m all for girl power and partially supportive of the whole feminist movement, but refusing to groom your lady parts and armpits is just…wrong! I mean, sure we’re born with all this hair on our body, some more than others, but doesn’t it feel more hygienic when you wax or shave? I can’t imagine feeling sexy wearing lingerie and showing off a pair of hairy legs. Maybe it’s just social construct. Imagine a world where people are made fun of for having no hair on their body, and only the super hairy are labeled as beautiful and sexy. Okay, that seriously made me laugh a little inside. I tried my best to come back down from whatever warped universe of Aria
I had ventured off to.
All my weird and un-sexy
thoughts instantly disappeared when Noah stepped into my room. The sexy demigod had graced me with his presence. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again….what a curse and blessing this is.
I thought to myself.
“Wow, you look…”
I was standing in front of my tall length mirror, turning around to meet his gaze. I held my breath for three seconds, feeling nervous because I wasn’t sure if he liked the dress or not.
“Stunning,” he flashed me that signature sexy smile. “Absolutely breathtaking. I don’t think any amount of synonyms I use would do you justice.” Why, Noah?! Why do you have to be so goddamn charming and sweet!?
I was certainly cross with him in my head, but my expression gave nothing away.
“You’re welcome.” Hah!
I had studied and mastered the eternal Noah Hunter poker face.
The hairstylist had done an amazing job styling my hair. I wore it down in big bouncy curls, and the makeup artist at the salon had put a temporary tattoo around my eyes that was black, and designed as a masquerade mask. It was beautiful and had an elegant, intricate design that really accentuated my eyes. My makeup was dark, which was a nice contrast to the bright cherry lip stick and shimmery coat of gloss that was brushed on my lips. The smoky charcoal eye shadow made me look a lot older than my age, and I liked it because wearing that gown, and looking the way I did…made me feel like a woman.
Noah was making me nervous with the way he was staring at me with those penetrating eyes. I started to rub the side of my arm when I noticed him pull out a black velvet box from his back jean pocket. My heart almost stopped beating.
“I got you something.”
“What? Seriously? Why?”
“Because you graduated with honors, and earned yourself a scholarship, and also because tonight’s a pretty special night for you,” he took a couple steps closer to me until he was standing inches away from my face. “And because you’re my daughter, and I love to spoil you. You deserve this.” He opened the box and I practically gasped. It was a diamond encrusted ruby necklace.
“Oh my god…Noah.” I was speechless.
I turned, and stared at my reflection in the mirror, as he stood behind me and removed the original necklace I was wearing. Tonight was the first night I took off that African Cowrie shell bracelet he had given me a month ago.
“This must have cost you a fortune.” I gently brushed my fingers across the expensive gemstones, and admired its dazzling beauty.
“Money is no object when it comes to you.”
I almost wanted to cry, not because I had thousands of dollars’ worth of jewelry around my neck, but because he loved me enough to spend so much money on me…but I wouldn’t be keeping this exquisite necklace. I would return his gift, put it back inside that velvet box, and place it on his desk in his study before I’d leave LA tomorrow. I wasn’t going to take any of the things he had bought me. All my expensive designer clothes, jewelry, brand name bags, shoes, everything was going to stay here in this bedroom. Like a showroom that would be on display at an expensive furniture store. All this stuff just represented memories of him,
and it would hold a constant haunting presence if I took it all with me. I was sure Noah would be hurt, but I’d leave him a note to make him understand.
I tried writing my farewell letter numerous times, but every time I got to the part; ‘Don’t come for me. Don’t look for me. Don’t think of me.’
I’d end up scrunching up the note into a paper ball and scrapping it because I’d panic, get frustrated, and cry. In truth, I didn’t want him to forget me. I didn’t want him to just live his life normally as if I didn’t exist. I wanted Noah to come after me like the way Jerry Maguire
did when he realized that Dorothy
completed him, and I would stare in his beautiful ocean eyes the same way Renee Zellweger
did in that movie when she pulled off the most epic line and responded with; ‘shut up…just shut up…you had me at hello’.
Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but I truly desired some sort of monumental declaration of love that would take our relationship to the next level, without any fears, reservations or guilt. I wanted him to realize that I completed him. Love potion number nine?
Hmmm…only in Hollywood. Unfortunately, making him fall for me wasn’t going to happen, and that was a harsh reality I had to accept.
“You look deep in thought,” Noah affectionately massaged my shoulders. “What are you thinking?” his voice was gentle and soothing. I loved that tone. It just made my insides twist into knots.
“Just admiring this necklace. It’s so beautiful,” we locked eyes through the reflection of the mirror, and I wanted to shy away when he closed the gap between our bodies and wrapped his masculinity around me.
make it look beautiful.”
“I’m so proud of you, Aria.” He whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek. The pink blush that had spread across my face turned crimson.
There was a lump in the back of my throat, and I felt such despair, but was trying my hardest to just act normal and not get emotional. Tonight was literally going to be the last night I ever saw him again. I didn’t even want him to find me. It was easier this way. Difficult at first, but I prayed it would get easier. Time healed all wounds, and I had to believe that it would heal the ones that Noah Hunter left on my heart.
the one who looks likes he’s lost in a sea of thoughts,” I placed my hands over his, and just observed his expression through the mirror.
“I just wish I was there during your earlier years, then I could look at you and say that my little girl’s all grown up, but I have no idea what your younger years were like because I was never there.”
“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter now.” It felt like instinct to console him. This was the first time in two weeks that we actually touched, and now that he was holding me, I didn’t want him to let go. I wanted to enjoy it for as long as possible before my heart would start to ache from the loss of contact. I stared into the mirror as Boyce Avenue
s single ‘mirror’s’
on the live podcast that was playing from my iPod.
I always felt so connected to him through music. Every special lyric in a song always described the way I felt about Noah. Some people wore their feelings on their sleeves, while I showed and expressed my feelings through music. Sometimes all you’d need is that one perfect song to expresses exactly how you feel about that special somebody in your life when words would escape you, or just weren’t enough.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” He murmured in my ear, making me shiver.
The faintest smile touched my glossy lips, as I turned around and let myself drown in the deep blue ocean that was in his eyes.
“What was your prom like?”
“You don’t want to know. It was full of um,” he paused. “Wild excursions.”
“Did that involve mom?”
“I guess that shouldn’t surprise me.”
Noah chuckled lightly and kissed both my hands. It felt so erotic, the way he stared at me while he gently grazed his lips along my knuckles. He seriously had no idea what he did to me. I felt like my heart was going to break and die from the sudden despair I was feeling. This was seriously going to be the last time I would ever hug him or see him again. So I surrendered to impulse, and hugged him tightly…one last time.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll only be gone for the weekend.”
“I know, but still.” I tried not to ruin my makeup, and forced myself to withdraw from his loving embrace.
He kissed my forehead and looked at me. “You’ll be home by curfew, right? Because if you’re not, Vanessa’s going to kick your ass.” Hah, yeah…as if.
“Yeah, I’ll be home on time.”
She and I had this silent pact with each other. I was to stay out of her way, and she was to stay out of mine. That’s how we kept the peace…well, tried to.
I basically made a deal with her, and asked her to cover for me for the night. She’d tell Noah that I came home on time, and in return I would no longer interfere in her marriage life. She was hesitant at first, but we shook on it. It would’ve been easier if I just told her I was planning to move back to New York, but I didn’t trust her with that knowledge. I didn’t trust her at all.
I searched Noah’s eyes, uncertain of what I was looking for. Maybe I was in search of hope…some sort of sign that he loved me the same way I loved him, but it was so hard to read him at the moment. He was so good at masking his emotions, and he didn’t even need an actual mask to do it. “The stretch limo’s here!”
my stepmom’s annoying voice was just the antidote needed to break the magic spell that I was under. I looked at Noah and tried to hide my sadness, as he dropped his hands from my shoulders and let me grab my sparkly red clutch purse before following me out of my bedroom. oOo
Ryan was waiting for me in the foyer, and he definitely looked handsome in his black suit. It was tailored just right, and he was wearing a red vest and tie that matched the color of my gown. I noticed that he had a fresh new haircut, and the biggest smile appeared on his face when he saw me. Vanessa pretended to be the proud mother
and took pictures of us. It honestly felt awkward. Ryan tied my corsage around my wrist and kissed my cheek, whispering how beautiful I looked before taking my hand in his.
“Take good care of my daughter…or else.
” Noah threatened him in a joking but ‘I’m actually serious’,
sort of manner.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Hunter. I promise she’s in good hands.” Ugh,
I so wanted to cry. I didn’t want to go to this stupid prom. All I wanted was Noah. I wished so badly that he could abduct me from this lame event, and fly me out to a secluded place where we could just be together.
“Have fun baby girl.” He kissed my forehead and watched me walk out the door with my date. My friends were waiting for us in the limo and I could hear their laughter as Ryan and I approached the vehicle. I turned around once and met Noah’s eyes. This was it…the last time I would ever see him again.
I imagined a strong ocean current crashing upon the shore, and erasing the huge heart I had drawn into the sand; NOAH + ARIA 4EVER. I would be leaving his life forever
. This was goodbye.oOo
There was dance music echoing from the banquet hall as I held onto Ryan’s arm, and walked through a set of mahogany coloured French doors. It was like we had entered a fantasy land of strobe lights and glittering color.
“Oh my god! Isn’t this amazing?” Jessica and her date brushed past us while Ryan and I took a moment to just observe our surroundings. We stood at the top of a marble stone staircase that had an ivory colored balustrade supporting the handrails of the grand stairwell.
The hall was decorated in old baroque furnishings, as if it had been transformed and revived to the renaissance era. Golden candelabras were lit up all around the room, and the main attraction was the crystal chandeliers that majestically hung from the high ceiling.
Sheer gold curtains were draped across the walls and arched windows, adding a warmer tone to the atmosphere of the room. I was impressed by the beautiful floral arrangements. The tables were covered in black, gold and purple silk, and the center pieces were just so impressive; white orchids dusted with gold glitter, meticulously arranged inside a crystal vase that was placed inside of a large glass bowl full of water. The warm glow of the candle light filled the bowl as little white candles floated around it.
So many people had already arrived. I watched, as colorful silk and satin gowns spun around like exotic flowers on the dance floor. Everyone was wearing masks, and I couldn’t see any other girl that had painted or tattooed her mask on her face the way I had. I liked expressing my own individuality.
A DJ was spinning tracks near the dance floor, getting everybody hyped up and in a good mood. I actually felt…happy
. Maybe prom wouldn’t be so bad.
“You ready?” Ryan regarded me with a smile.
“This is our last night as seniors. Let’s enjoy it to the fullest.” I held onto his arm for balance, as we slowly descended the stairs.
“Look at Coach Carter’s tux! It’s orange!” he laughed and pointed towards our high school football coach.
I spotted him and giggled. “How do you know that’s him? He’s wearing a mask.”
“Because Carter’s got the biggest beer gut in the entire school faculty.”
That really made me laugh, as I tried not to trip over my open toe Gucci
heels. We were almost halfway down the steps, when my heart stopped beating for a couple seconds. In fact, I just stopped moving all together. There was a man in a black tux, with his thick brown hair slicked back, standing next to my English teacher, Ms. Perez. And he was staring right at me. I watched him slowly remove the black mask that covered half of his face.
“Aria, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I heard Ryan’s voice in the background. Oh. My. God.
It was Evan.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I tried to snap out of the shock, and started down the steps again. He didn’t take his eyes off me, and when Ryan and I finally reached the bottom of the stairwell, I walked right up to my uncle.
“Evan, what are you doing here?”
He smiled at me and looked at Ms. Perez. “I’m Claudia’s date.” When did this happen?
“Aria, you look so gorgeous tonight!” She smiled warmly and gave me a hug. “I’m going to miss having you in my classroom.”
Ms. Perez was one of my favorite teachers at school. She was a brown haired, brown eyed, olive skin colored Latina, who was the prettiest teacher in my high school.
“Are you dating my uncle?”
“We met at the gym two weeks ago,” she blushed and looked completely smitten by him. “Nothing’s serious yet, but he’s definitely an ideal candidate. Let’s put it that way.” She gave him a wink followed by a subtle smile.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to my prom?” I looked at Evan with a perplexed expression on my face.
“I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“When he told me that you were his niece, I asked him if he wanted to help chaperone.” Ms. Perez added.
“That’s just an excuse. She secretly wanted me here as her date.”
He was making her blush, big time.
“Guilty as charged.”
“Is this your date?” Evan asked, curiously evaluating Ryan.
“Yeah, Ryan this is Evan,” and then I looked at my uncle. “Evan-Ryan.”
“Nice to meet you,” he reached out and shook his hand.
“Aria’s told me a lot about you,” Ryan offered a good natured smile.
“Good things I hope,” Evan smirked at me.
“You be good to my niece tonight. I’ve got my eye on you.”
“I will.” God,
he was just as protective and territorial as Noah. Maybe it ran in the family or something. I often wondered what my other uncles were like.
Ms. Perez took a sip from the pink punch that she kept swirling around in her glass. “You two have fun tonight!”
“Go, frolic amongst your peers.”
“You just want to get rid of me so you can hang out with your hot date.”
I teased my uncle.
“Oh, Aria stop!” Ms. Perez giggled.
“Come here, give me a hug,” he pulled me into his arms and whispered; “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” I hugged him back and then froze, because I was familiar with the scent of his cologne. Oh god…it was Givenchy-Play;
the same cologne that Noah typically used. If I closed my eyes, then I could’ve convinced myself that it was Noah I was hugging.
I pulled back and slipped my hand into Ryan’s. “It was nice chatting with you Ms. Perez.”
She smiled and gave me a little wave as I walked off with the most popular guy at school. But before I turned my head, I noticed Evan gesturing towards his eyes with two fingers and then pointing them at Ryan with this super serious look on his face. Was that supposed to be a friendly threat? Jeez.
“We might have a hard time getting to our hotel room with your uncle being here tonight.”
“Don’t worry about him.”
Hopefully he wouldn’t sabotage our plans for later. I just wasn’t expecting him to be here. Ryan led me to our table where the rest of our friends were seated. We sat down, socialized, and indulged in the delicious dinner and dessert our $80 tickets were supposed to cover. oOo
Time was flying by much quicker than I had expected, probably because I was actually having a good time. My friends and I were dancing the night away, and really enjoying our evening at senior prom. This was also going to be the last time I ever saw anyone ever again. They all thought I’d be attending Stanford. I just didn’t want to have to explain why I was going back to New York, especially since I had earlier expressed how much I hated living there.
For some reason I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Evan all evening. I think I was crushing on him. He was just so laid back, funny, charismatic, and not to mention incredibly good looking. He and I…we had this understanding…this bond.
Throughout the many weeks I had spent getting to know him, I had realized that I trusted him in a way. I mean, his place was the first place I fled to whenever I felt like running away from Noah. It was like my safe haven. And that night at his loft, I was pretty sure he was going to let me kiss him. He wasn’t biologically related to me. It wouldn’t have been the worst thing if that kiss actually happened. Was it all in my head? Was Evan really attracted to me? Or maybe we were both just so high that evening that we didn’t care. He had a chick over, and I did
disrupt things…Ugh, I didn’t know anymore. All I knew was that my stomach twisted in knots every time he looked at me with those alluring brown eyes. Maybe the reason why we connected so much was because we both felt like the black sheep in the family.
I danced through several slow songs in Ryan’s arms, but I kept wishing it was Evan I was dancing with. I still couldn’t forget the time he brought me back to his loft for the first time and we danced together.
“Hello everyone, can I have your attention please?” the music suddenly faded as Jennifer Connelly (our student council president) took the podium. “Thank you all for voting. The ballots have been tallied, which means it’s time to announce this year’s Prom King and Queen.”
I voted for Jessica and her new boy toy Matt Kensington.
“Alright, your Prom King and Queen are…” there was a lengthy drum roll. “Ryan Taylor, and Stephanie Spinney!”
The crowd started cheering, as a blinding white light suddenly shined on my face. I guess they were trying to put Ryan in the spotlight since he was standing right next to me.
“What the hell? I swear the votes were rigged.” He looked at me in bewilderment.
I was a little pissed that Steph was voted as Prom Queen, not because I wanted to win the crown, but because I felt she didn’t deserve it. “Don’t worry about it. Just get up there and fulfill your duties. You only get to be Prom King once in your life.” I tried to show my support, giving him the sexiest kiss while the spotlight was still on us. Truthfully, I just wanted Steph to be green with envy before he joined her on stage.
“Wow, I can’t believe she won. I bet she was the one who rigged the votes.” Jessica suddenly appeared next to me.
“It’s okay. This is probably the only event that will be her most ultimate achievement in life. Let her have her five minutes of fame and glory.
” I stated with sarcasm, plastering a fake smile on my face, and applauding as they both got crowned.
Pictures were taken, and the lights were suddenly dimmed really low before everyone cleared the way for Ryan and Steph to have their traditional dance together as Prom King and Queen. I recognized the song. Gemma Hayes
had covered Chris Isaac’s
popular single; Wicked Game.
“I’m going to grab some more punch. Do you want me to bring you a glass?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” I tried to smile, watching my friend disappear, and then fixing my gaze back on the happy dancing couple
. Steph’s dress looked pretty skanky. There were slits on both sides of her gown that were cut all the way up to her hip bones. It almost looked like she showed up to prom wearing fancy black lingerie. There was a distinct difference between being sexy in a classy way, and sexy in a trashy way. The girl had a beautiful face and body, but her dress was just awful. I liked her mask though, black and red feathers with silver glitter around the eyes. That much
I could give her credit for.
I felt sad, as the music played on. It was a beautiful cover, and I started to get a little emotional. So I decided to step outside and get some fresh air. I made my way towards a set of glass doors across the hall, and walked through them.
A gentle summer breeze danced through my hair when I stepped out on a large terrace that was illuminated by round paper lamps. The view overlooked an impressively landscaped garden. It had a luxurious outdoor living atmosphere. I noticed a huge marble fountain in the center, surrounded by palm trees. The water was glowing in a brilliant spectrum of colors, and when I looked up at the night sky, I was able to see a blanket of stars that sparkled like diamonds. It was truly breath taking. The garden was so tranquil, surrounded by lush greenery, solar garden lamps, and chaise lounges. I saw a few fire flies floating around me, reminding me of the first time I ever encountered one. It was a hot summer in July, and I had spent the evening playing in my grandparent’s garden. I was five years old, and I remembered these pretty glowing insects hovering around me. For the longest while I believed they were fairies. Funny how gullible and naïve we can be when we are children; so innocent and ignorant to all the corruption in this world…so easily trusting.
“What are you doing all alone out here?”
I was so lost in thought, that I didn’t even notice Evan approaching behind me.
“Just needed some fresh air,” I turned around and met his dark eyes. He didn’t have his mask on. “It’s so beautiful out here.” The music echoed outside, only adding to the romantic ambiance around us. “This is a masquerade prom. Where’s your mask?”
“I don’t need to wear a mask around you.” He said that sentence with such charisma that it made me melt a bit.
“You should’ve been crowned Prom Queen,” Evan was now standing beside me, holding two glasses of punch in his hands. “Drink this.”
“No thanks.” I politely declined.
“I think you’re going to want to drink this particular glass.” He smirked at me, placing his drink down on the concrete railing, before flashing a silver flask that had been tucked away in the inner breast pocket of his suit.
“Oh my god, you spiked it?”
“Just for you,” he replied with a wicked chuckle.
“God, I love you! We should make a toast then.” I needed some alcohol to take the edge off.
“Allow me the honour,” he raised his glass and cleared his throat. “To my beautiful niece, and her promising career in the modelling industry. You’re going to give Miranda Kirr
and Adriana Lima
a run for their money.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I blushed and shied away from his eyes.
“Well,” he leaned in a little closer towards my face, and whispered in my ear “I do.”
I tapped my glass against his, and took a sip.
“Are you bummed out that you didn’t get crowned prom queen?”
“Not at all. I was actually hoping Jess would win.” I gulped back my drink, feeling the alcohol burn down my throat. It was strong…whatever it was. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating Ms. Perez?” I ask, deciding to change the subject
“Well, you and I haven’t exactly been communicating on a regular basis.”
That was true. “I’m really sorry for that night. My head was all over the place.”
“You were hurt. I get it.”
We locked eyes for a moment, and I suddenly felt so exposed, fearing that he was able to read my thoughts. “Shouldn’t you be inside with your date…chaperoning?”
“Claudia’s taking care of a little fiasco in the ladies room with some students.”
“Cat fight over a boy.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “God— girls these days. I would never fight over a guy if he was indecisive about wanting to be with me, especially if another girl was in the picture.”
It quickly occurred to me that I had totally contradicted myself. I was exactly
in that sort of situation; me, Noah and Vanessa.
“I can’t imagine how you could ever find yourself in such a complicated love triangle.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you’re stunningly attractive, smart, funny, you’re the whole package, Aria. Any guy that would hesitate to be with you would have to
I giggled and felt my cheeks get hot. “You’re flattering me.”
“No, I’m just being honest. I never give compliments I don’t mean.”
“Thank you.” I said with a smile.
“This is a pretty big garden. Let’s explore it.” He reached out his hand, and I took it, as he led me down some steps. The stone cobbled pathway was lit up with beautiful paper lanterns. I felt like Cinderella, knowing all this magic would disappear by the stroke of midnight, and so would the fantasy of my perfect life
. I would return to a life of rags, minus a prince charming.
We walked towards a gazebo in the distance that was decorated with lights all around the roof and columns. It wasn’t until we got closer that I realized that the roof of the structure was transparent. It was more like a fancy garden tent with a polished wooden platform. I could still hear the music from inside the banquet hall, and the sound of the running water from the fountain made the atmosphere feel so serene and soothing.
“Wow, this is so beautiful. I’m surprised no one else is out here.” I stepped onto the platform and looked up at the twinkling string of lights that hung above us.
“Well, technically we’re supposed to be watching the prom king and queen have their
first royal dance.”
she’s dancing with him to one of my favorite songs. Someone up there certainly wants to torture me tonight.” Like Noah did every night.
I sighed and stared at the fountain.
“Dance with me.”
“What?” Evan took my drink out of my hand and placed it on the flat surface of the railing. “Are you serious?”
“It’s not like we haven’t danced before,” he flashed a charming smile that made me melt. “I would be honored if you had this dance with me.” Aw, what a gentleman.
I accepted his hand, and felt his arm wrap around my waist, pulling me in closer to his body, as we slowly began to sway side to side with the music. I couldn’t get over that scent of his cologne. It was like I was dancing in Noah’s arms. This feeling was so bitter sweet. I closed my eyes and rested my head in the crook of his neck. It felt nice dancing with Evan like this. He made me feel safe. I really couldn’t understand why Noah always said he was dangerous.
“What was your high school prom like?”
“I never went.” He replied.
“I thought it was lame. A few of my friends and I went to my family’s lake house instead. We got baked out of our minds and,” he stopped for a moment. “Well the rest you don’t want to know.”
“But I do.” “X rated activities.”
“Ah. Okay,” I laughed nervously. “If you think proms are lame then what are you doing here? You must be trying to score some serious points with my teacher, huh?”
“I don’t need to chaperone a prom to score points with her. I came because of you.”
My cheeks felt hot again.
“Are you blushing?” Evan chuckled.
“Err...no.” I determinedly fixed my eyes on the shiny black buttons of his shirt, hiding my embarrassment.
“I really missed you, Aria.” His voice sounded soft, as if he was caressing my ears with his gentleness.
“I missed you too, Evan.”
His fingertips brushed against my lower back, sending chills all down my body. I wondered if he felt my barely there panties through my dress.
“I have a bit of a confession to make.”
“Tell me,” I met his captivating brown eyes, offering my undivided attention. “I won’t tell a soul.”
“All my life, I’ve always felt so left out. I hated not being biologically related to my family, hated being adopted. I can’t tell you how many times I fucked myself up because of this. But right now, being here with you…it’s made me realize just how grateful I am to not share the same DNA as you do.”
My heart was suddenly beating rapidly in my chest.
“You and I,” he broke off and then whispered; “We have something.”
I wasn’t sure why my palms were getting sweaty.
“Don’t we, Aria?”
Evan stopped dancing, looked straight at me, and slowly brought his face closer to mine. I felt so paralyzed. How was all of this happening? He let go of my hand and lightly traced the pulsing vein in my neck with his thumb, until he was holding half my face. I closed my eyes and let him coax my chin upwards. My breathing was quivering slightly, and I felt faint. But he pulled me in closer, and finally pressed his lips against mine.
I felt a whirlwind of emotions when Evan kissed me. I breathed in his intoxicating cologne as memories of Noah flickered in my mind; Noah’s ocean eyes, Noah’s smile, the way he would furrow his brows whenever he was ticked off at me, the way he would rub the back of his neck whenever he was nervous, his laughter, his body, his lips, the things he had done to me with his hands…everything hit me all at once as Evan slowly slipped his tongue into my mouth, caressing mine with his. I felt a tear drop fall from the corner of my eye as I surrendered to his kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. I was letting go…I was letting go of Noah. This was my goodbye to the man I was hopelessly in love with. There was no point in hanging onto something that would never work. No point in loving someone who would never love me the same. I realized all that much too late.
Eventually, I would get married one day, have children, grow old, and look back on my youth, remembering a time when I was sixteen and in love. I would remember my first love, and smile because at least I was lucky enough to experience such a feeling, and discover what it truly meant to love someone unconditionally, even if it meant breaking some rules in the book of society’s moral code,
and even if it meant defying the will of God.
“We shouldn’t be doing this here,” I broke the kiss and looked around, worried that someone might’ve seen us.
“I can’t express how badly I’ve been dying to kiss you.”
I was speechless.
“From the moment I set eyes on you.”
The music wasn’t playing any longer, and I immediately stopped midsentence when I heard someone approaching.
“There you are! Ryan’s looking all over for you. He’s worried that you’re upset about Steph dancing with him,” Jess stood a few feet away from us and waved when she saw Evan.
“No, I’m not upset. I’ll be right in.”
We exchanged secret glances before I slipped away and followed Jess inside.oOo
“Where did you go? I got worried.” Ryan took off his mask and kissed my cheek.
“I was just getting some fresh air in the garden. Evan and I were chatting.”
“Steph’s perfume gave me a headache,” he groaned.
“That bad, huh?”
“I was so tempted to step on her feet.”
“Well, how noble of you to not give into temptation.”
He returned my smile, and then led me back to our table where we sat and talked some more with our friends. oOo
It was crazy to watch the whole senior class dance to Psy-Gangnam Style.
knew that dance.
Someone must have requested it. It was hilarious. I couldn’t believe how viral that video got on Youtube. Jess was the first one to show it to me.
Midnight was soon approaching, and Ryan and I danced one last song together before leaving prom. Jessica had requested a song by The Sundays- Wild Horses.
It was originally sung by The Rolling Stones,
but I personally liked the way Harriet Wheeler sang it.
My mind was with Noah the entire time. It was really starting to get to me. Evan had just kissed me like two hours ago— you would think that I would try and process that first. I tried to look for him through the crowd, but he was nowhere to be found. Ms. Perez was standing alone talking with another one of the teachers. Where did he go? Did something come up? Was he upset? This worried me. As soon as the song ended, I pulled out my cellphone from my clutch purse, and noticed that he had already left me a text. Text message from Evan to Aria: Sorry 4 bailing. Something came up. Emergency. Dont worry. Lets talk 2morrow or whenever ur free this weekend. I need 2 c u.
But I wasn’t going to be there tomorrow. I didn’t even want to imagine how mad Evan would be once he found out that I had flown back to New York without giving so much as a proper goodbye. To complicate things more…we kissed.
Let’s go through Aria’s list of facts
shall we? 1. I’m in love with Noah. 2. Evan kissed me and I didn’t pull back or stop him. 3. I’m planning to lose my V card and sleep with Ryan tonight. 4. I’m in love with Noah. 5. Kissing Evan made me feel…hot and bothered??? 6. I’m in love with Noah. 7. I’m still going to sleep with Ryan regardless of my feelings after that kiss with Evan. 8. Hopefully by sleeping with Ryan, I’ll get over my all-consuming love for Noah. 9. I need to get over him. 10. That’s never going to happen. 11. I’m in love with Noah :’(
Yup, I was definitely bi polar. Maybe getting my head probed, prodded, and psychoanalyzed by a doctor wasn’t such a bad idea.
I suddenly snapped back to reality, and realized that the music had transitioned to something more upbeat. “Sorry, I zoned out.”
“I noticed,” Ryan gave me a worried look. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just…a little nervous.”
I gave a little nod.
“We don’t have to, you know that, right?”
“Yes, I know. But it’s what I want.” I was determined to destroy whatever purity within me and give my inner virgin the big middle finger by the end of the night. There was nothing innocent about me. I was just hell spawn, and it seemed like a huge freaking joke to hold onto my chastity. I could pretend to be Anastasia Steele from 50 Shades of Grey
. She stayed celibate for what was it…21…23 years of her life? And then she gave her virginity away like a sacrificial lamb to notorious billionaire Christian Grey,
a guy she had only known for like what…two days, a week? He served her up with some ridiculous BDSM contract prior to Ana dropping her panties and basically screaming ‘take me! Please just take me! I don’t care if you love me or not! I don’t care how sadistic you are!’
. I realized that I was practically doing the same thing, except Ryan wasn’t a billionaire, I had known him for much longer than a week, and he didn’t have a secret red room of pain…
not that I knew of anyway.
“Are you ready to leave then?”
“Yeah, I’d much rather party in private with you.” I gave him a seductive smile and followed him off the dance floor so we could say farewell to our friends. Jessica knew about my plans with Ryan, and she was supportive of my decision because she thought we were perfect for each other. I hated not having anyone to talk to about Noah. I mean, who could I have confided in? My best friends? My mom? I guess the fates never favored me from the second I was born. I must’ve truly been an abomination. Mom should’ve aborted me. It would’ve spared everyone so much hurt and broken dreams.
I reached the top of the stairwell alongside my date, and took one last look at the beautiful banquet hall. This certainly beat whatever crappy prom I would’ve had at my old high school.
“Let’s go pop that champagne” Ryan wrapped his arm around me, as we walked through the doors, heading straight to the front desk to get our room keys.
“You head on upstairs, I’ll be right with you. I just need to give my uncle a call. I’m worried. He left so suddenly without a goodbye.”
“Yeah, no problem. Now I have more time to prepare a little surprise for you.” He winked at me with a smile, and headed towards the elevators. Text message from Aria to Evan: What happened, r u ok?
I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something serious had happened. I paced around the lobby and waited for him to text me back. Text message from Evan to Aria: Ya Im fine doll face. Call me 2morrow. Im free all day.
I felt guilty. He didn’t know I was leaving. Should I tell him?
I wondered to myself. Text message from Aria to Evan: I’ll call u tomorrow. xx
I’d call him once I was in New York.
I scrolled down to Noah’s name on my phone, and thought about calling him, or at least sending a text, but I decided not to. Instead, I headed towards the elevators, and stepped inside. I was nervous. This was going to be my first time after all, and I so wished it would be with Noah, but he didn’t want me, and he was thousands of miles away. Even if I wanted
to seduce him, I couldn’t. Vanessa had won. Everyone had gotten their happy ending except for me. Poor, miserable Aria…
I really needed to stop feeling sorry for myself.
The elevator finally reached the floor of our room suite and I stepped out, walking down a narrow hallway that was covered in Victorian styled wallpaper. The colors were white and lemon chiffon. There were bright ceiling lights above me, and the carpeting was elegantly patterned at every angle in gold, caramel, and saffron. The doors of the room suites had gold plated numbers in the center. I walked past room 1204, 1205, 1206….
until I finally reached room 1212.
I took a deep breath, calming my jittery nerves before I inserted the key card in the door. This was it...time to officially step into womanhood. I opened the door, and noticed that all the lights were off, except for a tiny lamp on a cherry wood nightstand by the twin sized bed.
“Ryan? I’m here.” I called out his name, but no one answered.
Something caught my eye as I entered the room. There was a folded note on the bed, and as I drew closer towards it, I noticed that there was a silver dollar resting on it, with a long stemmed white rose tucked in between the parchment. This must’ve been his surprise. I smiled, and carefully handled the rose so that I wouldn’t prick my fingers on the sharp thorns. It smelled so sweet and fragrant, like perfume. How did he know I loved white roses? Maybe Jessica had told him.
I laid the rose down on the bed, and read the mysterious letter. The handwriting looked unfamiliar to me. I didn’t think it was Ryan’s handwriting either. Maybe he got the bellhop to write it to throw me off. Aria, You deserve so much more than this little hotel room. Take this room key and meet me at room #1507, it’s the penthouse suite on the top floor. But I want you to do me a favor first. Go down to the wishing fountain in the garden, make a wish, and toss in that silver dollar that I left you. I’m waiting for you. I hope your wish comes true.
I had no idea that he could be this romantic. Still, it felt nice to be courted in such a way. I took the contents that he left me and put it away in my clutch purse. Then I grabbed the rose, and left the hotel room to follow Ryan’s instructions. oOo Author’s Note: Big Thanks and shout out to my awesome friend Tarra who suggested the song ‘Mirrors’ by JT :) All tracks can be found on my video gallery or YT. Check out my blog for chapter pictures/graphics. Website is listed on my profile page :) Music In Chapter: Boyce Avenue ft. Fifth Harmony - Mirrors Music playing at Aria’s Prom: Sky Ferreira - Everything Is Embarrassing (Krystal Klear Remix)
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Fun.: We Are Young ft. Janelle Monáe
Gentlemen Hall - Take Me Under
Bruno mars- locked out of heave
The Mission District: Just Don't Feel The Same
Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks
The Raveonettes- Curse The Night
Paul van Dyk - Let Go featuring Rea
Daft Punk - Get Lucky
Cruel Black Dove Love My Way (Psychedelic Furs Cover)
U2 - With Or Without You
311- Love Song
Ed Sheeran- Give Me Love
Grizzly Bear- Slow Life
Christina Perri- A Thousand Years
Life House- It Is What it Is
Editors - The Weight of The World
The Joy Formidable _Whirring_ Innerpartysystem remix
Hot Hot Heat- No, Not Now
The Presets - This Boy_s In Love (Lifelike Remix)
Gyptian - Hold Yuh (Major Lazer Remix)
Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven (Sultan & Ned Shepard Remix)
Bingo Players - Cry (Just A Little) (Original Mix)
R3hab vs 3LAU - B#tch City (3LAU Bootleg)
Calvin Harris- Sweet Nothing
Beautiful People (DallasK & Halatrax Remix)
We Found Love VS Jupiter (Dallas K)
Ian Longo & Jay Wainwright feat. Craig Smart - One Life Stand Gemma Hayes- Wicked Game [Evan & Aria’s dance]
Party Rock Anthem - ( Ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock )
Zedd - Shave It (Original mix)
Hardwell & Chuckie vs Robin S - Show Me Move It 2 The Drum (Hardwell Sensation MashUp)
Example vs Quintino & Sandro Silva - Epic The Way You Kissed Me (Hardwell MashUp)
Drake ft. Rihanna vs Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike - Take Care vs Alarma (Hardwell & Dannic MashUp)
Psy- Gangnam Style
Martin Garrix vs. Showtek & Justin Prime - Animals Cannonball (Tomicii Mashup)
Sander van Doorn- Koko
Eric Turner vs. Avicii - Dancing In My Head
Nadia Ali - Rapture (Avicii Remix)
Armin van Buuren feat. Fiora - Waiting For The Night
ATB - Ecstasy (Mÿon & Shane 54 Summer Of Love Booty)
Tiësto - Take Me ft. Kyler England
Tiesto & Dyro vs. Krewella - Alive in Paradise (Tiesto Mash-up)
The Wanted - We Own The Night (Dannic Club Mix)
Rihanna - Pour It Up (Cosmic Dawn Club Remix)
Savage garden- madly truly deeply The Sundays- Wild Horses Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know (Owsey Remix)
This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than Lushstories.com
with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/i-shouldnt-love-this-way-chapter-7.aspx">I Shouldn't Love This Way- Chapter 7</a>