My Mom
It all started at the last Parent/Teacher meeting before the prom. I'm secretary on the student council (don't laugh). The meeting was about the prom and how it was going to be organized. My mom was there and she made a big deal about having herself be nominated as one of the chaperones. She always has to make a scene wherever she goes.
My mom definitely stands out from the other parents. After she and my dad got divorced last year, she went and got herself a "makeover". I call it her "fakeover". She made her hair blonder and I’m pretty sure got botox in her face and something that made her lips puffy and even got a boob job. (I saw one of her bras in the laundry room and the tag inside said “36C”). That’s when my mom started dressing all trendy and pretty much like the same way girls at my school do: kind of short skirts or low-rise jeans and pants with tight t-shirts and tops that were either tight or low-cut or both. It’s like she wishes she was on her own reality show or something.
That night was no different. My mom had on this white tshirt that her boobs made stretch and the outline of her white bra showed through. Her jeans were lowrise and tight, showing off her curvy butt and flat tummy. Her cork wedge sandals stuck out the ends of her jeans and made a thock-thock-thock sound every step she took to stand at the podium.
My friends, Brad, Randy, and Pete, goof on me about my mom because even though they all agree that she acts like a complete snob and always acts so stuck-up like she's so much better than everyone, they also all say she's a "MILF" and a "Cougar". Brad once even went so far as to say my mom looked like “a porn star on her day off.” That got the other guys laughing even more. Right then, at the parent-teacher meeting, I couldn’t be more embarrassed.
She made a big speech about nominating herself as a chaperone, even embarrassing me by mentioning that her son was on the student council and how that somehow gave her more of a reason to be a chaperone. I could tell most of the other parents and teachers there - especially our Principal, Mr. Turner - were totally not liking the fuss my mom made during the meeting, but my mom was still able to get herself nominated.
The week before the prom was just torture for me. I didn't even tell my friends about my mom being a chaperone because I knew they would just goof on me about it.
Because she works in real estate, my mom used one of her connections and was able to move the whole prom celebration to a ballroom at this big hotel. She made such a big deal about it saying how the school gym was "no place for a wonderful event" even though it meant everyone was going to have to drive like a half hour to this stupid hotel. And she was always on the phone bragging to her friends about it and about how much money she spent on her dress and shoes for the prom.
By then I didn't even want to go to the prom but I had to since I'm also the president of the audio/video club at school and it was my responsibility to run the sound and lights for the prom king and queen ceremony. The way my mom was acting it was like she thought she was running for queen of the prom!
2.
Prom Night
The night of the prom I was a nervous wreck. My friends had found out that after the prom had been moved from the school gym and to the hotel ballroom, it was because of the "new chaperone". They fast found out that the "new chaperone" was my mom! That's when they really started goofing on me.
Well you should have seen my mom when she showed up at the prom. It was like she thought she was like going to the academy awards or something. She was wearing this really long tight kind of purple and pink dress that was sort of low cut and pushed her fake boobs up at the same time. There was a slit up one side that showed off her legs in the light pink sparkly nylons she had on and these big strappy pink high heels that thock-thock-thocked everywhere she walked. Her hair was all done up on the top of her head and she had on a lot of make-up. As soon as she got there, my mom was like the whole time acting totally snobby to everyone, even sometimes telling him or her to watch where he or she were stepping around her dress.
I knew right then prom was going to be a disaster for me.
The moment my mom showed up at the prom I spent the whole time trying to avoid her. She had already made such a scene when she first walked in I wanted to stay far away from her.
Already though I could see how everyone else was reacting to her. The other chaperones were giving her dirty looks. Mrs. Cross and Mrs. Dayle were giving my mom disapproving looks behind my mom's back, but would smile and act friendly to her whenever they had to speak to her. Our principal Mr. Turner was looking my mom up and down with a scowl on his face he usually gave to the students he saw smoking in the parking lot at lunch.
Just about every other student at the prom was pretty much looking at my mom and asking who she was and what was she doing there. I could overhear some of them making comments about her snobby attitude and how lame they thought she was. Some of the students who knew she was my mom would look at her and then over at give and me dirty looks. I just wanted to hide under the table.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, some of my friends came over to my table and started goofing on me about my mom. Brad started in by saying how "hot" my mom looked. He even said she looked hotter than his own date. One of the guys even was saying that whenever my mom stood by the stage lights that he thought he could almost see through her dress and that when he stood behind her he could kind of see the outline of a thong showing through her dress. That got them all calling her "Thong Mom.” They all laughed at that one.
Prom was becoming more miserable than I could have even imagined. To make things worse, my date - a girl in my math class that I sort of liked and asked out - had to leave when her parents came to pick her up at ten. I was sitting by myself since my date had to go home early, but I still had do stay at the prom because of the light cues I had to do backstage for the King and Queen ceremony.
I was totally bored and started to wander around the prom. I saw my mom. She kind of stood out from the crowd in her long pink-purple dress. She was saying something to Principal Turner. From the look on his face, he didn’t seem to like what my mom was telling him. When I got closer to where my mom and Mr. Turner were, I could hear what they were talking about:
“After all, I was the one who arranged for the prom to be here in this ballroom,” my mom was saying in a haughty tone. “It’s obviously quite a success. Even you can admit that, can’t you, Roger?”
Roger was Principal Turner first name and it seemed like he didn’t like how my mom was talking to him. “It’s Principal Turner, Mrs. McFarlane,” he said to my mom.
“It’s Ms. McFarlane,” my mom corrected Principal Turner, which I could see made him even more angry, but before he could say anything, my mom kept talking. “And as a member of the Parent/Teacher committee, I would like to be recognized for my part here at this prom. The very least you can do is mention my name before the King and Queen announcements.”
My mom was just being so snotty that I decided that maybe I could help Principal Turner out by pretending to have something to say. I took a step closer to them and cleared my throat. “Uh...excuse me, mom?”
Before I could say another word, my mom was looking at me with her typical snooty stare. “Tommy, do you mind? Can’t you see your mother is having a discussion? Run along.”
I glanced at Mr. Turner and was surprised to see he was looking right at my mom’s cleavage that was pretty hard to miss the way her dress was pushing it up. He didn’t notice me looking and my mom was too busy staring at me to see him. She pointed her finger off in the direction she wanted me to leave like she always does at home which means that she’s done talking.
3.
The Center of Attention
I was sitting by myself at my table and playing Warcraft on my cell phone when Mrs. Cross – a teacher and one of the other chaperones that night – came up to me. She told me the King and Queen Ceremony was getting ready to start and that it was time for me to take my place backstage to work the light cues.
Glad to be doing something instead of just sitting there while everyone else was enjoying the prom, I got up and went around to the side of the stage and up the steps and behind the curtain to the backstage area. There was a control board with switches and knobs to control the lights. That’s where I stood and waited for the ceremony to start.
Sure enough, when the ceremony started, when I looked out from the side of the stage, I saw that my mom had gotten onstage to stand next to Principal Turner. She was looking out at everyone and smiling like she was so pleased with herself. Meanwhile, Principal Turner looked less than thrilled to have her up there with him. He stood by the podium microphone and said a few words to the students, and then with my mom staring at him as if to hurry him up, Principal Turner made a very brief statement about how having the prom here at the hotel’s ballroom was thanks to one of the chaperones. It looked as if Principal Turner was about to continue, but my mom moved next to him so she could be in front of the podium microphone. She smiled and waved at all of the students standing in front of the stage and clapping. It was obvious my mom was enjoying being the center of attention.
“Thank you, everyone,” my mom said. “I just want you all to know how special this evening is and I so proud to be part of it. I hope with my help, I’ll have made this a memory for all of you that you’ll never forget.”
I could tell my mom wanted to say more, but then Principal Turner stepped close to her. He put one hand on her arm and the other on her back, guiding her away from the podium and to stand back by the curtain. My mom didn’t look pleased with having her moment cut short. A snooty expression returned to her face as she said something to Principal Turner. She pulled her arm away from him and took her spot standing upstage by the curtain where she smoothed her dress along her figure.
As Principal Turner went back to the podium, I returned to the lighting panel backstage. From the bright lights onstage, I could see my mom standing in front of the curtain. Looking down, I also noticed the trail of my mom’s dress sticking out backstage from under the curtain.
I don’t even know what made me think of it or even do it...but I went over to stand behind the curtain where my mom was. I leaned down and grabbed the end of her dress and carefully snagged it around the hooks that were lined along the bottom of the curtain. Any second I thought my mom was going to notice and turn around, so I hurried back to the lighting panel.
But the thing was, my mom didn’t notice. From her silhouette through the curtain, I could see she was still standing onstage and facing out to the student audience. I had enough of my mom being at my prom and I thought for sure she would have felt me snagging her dress on the curtain, be upset, and unsnag her dress and walk off. It just made me think she was probably standing there loving that everyone was looking in her direction.
I didn't even think it would work but I went over to the curtain levers and pulled them all until the curtain behind her started going up. I really thought by then she would just notice right away because of all the fuss she was making about her dress and that she would’ve turned around and unpulled her dress from the curtain but she didn't notice at all until the curtain was already going halfway up and lifting her dress up her legs.
Everyone started laughing. My mom tried to take a step away from the curtain, but that caused her dress to pull tighter against her. The slit that was on one side of her dress just began to tear all the way up that side exposing the pink lace tops of her thigh-high stockings. My mom only had a few moments to desperately pull at her dress before the curtain went all the way up and ripped her dress off from around her.
Everyone there was able to see my mom’s big fake boobs. All she had left on was this tiny pink thong and pink glittery thigh-high stockings and her big pink strappy high heels. Everyone was just totally laughing and she was just standing there with her arms at her sides and looking up at what happened to her dress like "duhhhh" with this totally stupid look on her face.
I know it’s weird to say but it was so great seeing like my mom like that. For once, I was finally seeing my mom looking stupid and not knowing what to do. Like a deer in the headlights. Or better yet, like a stripper who went onstage and didn’t know what to do. And with everyone laughing at her, it just made it so much better.
After a few seconds like that, I saw some flashes going off and saw that students – the guys mostly – were taking pictures of my mom. That's when my mom kind of seemed to snap out of it a bit and started trying to reach up to grab her dress down, her boobs jiggling every time she tried. Even teetering on her high heels, she couldn’t do it. If everyone had been laughing at her before, now they started howling and whistling and clapping. No one was even trying to help. I even saw Mrs. Cross and Mrs. Dayle standing by the stage and laughing too.
I have to admit I was laughing too. It was pretty funny to see. After like a few seconds of her trying to grab her dress and everyone laughing at her, my mom was like almost crying. She looked out at all of us laughing at her and then she put her hands over her boobs and ran off backstage.
As I was standing there with everyone else laughing...I started feeling a little bad about what I had just did. You have to believe me when I say I didn’t think the curtain was going to tear her dress off like that. By now someone had gotten the curtain to start to go back down. That’s when I saw Principal Turner step away from the podium and just under the curtain as it lowered to the stage.
4.
Backstage Porn Star
After seeing Principal Turner duck backstage, I thought maybe I should go see if my mom was okay. I went around to the side and went backstage. I knew my mom wouldn't be hiding by the front of the stage and since I didn't see her at the side exit when I was there, I started to walk to the backstage area but it was dark and I had to walk careful so I didn't fall on anything. Pretty soon I started hearing some whispering and noises that sounded like Principal Turner saying stuff like whispering it but like he was angry like he always is so I snuck my way over there.
I saw Principal Turner was standing near this huge prop board. He was looking down at something and as I got closer, I could see it was my mom. She was on her knees, sitting on the back of her heels, still only in her pink thong and thigh-highs. She had her hands over her naked boobs, barely able to cover them. She was staring up at Principal Turner much the same way she had been looking up at her ruined dress: an expression of daffy confusion as if she still couldn’t understand what had just happened.
“Well, it looks like you got just what you deserved, you stupid little bitch,” Principal Turner growled at my mom.
