I used to be that quiet girl, who stood in the back of the room and never really talked to anyone. It was not because I was ugly or did not fit in, it was because I did not know how to be anything other then what I was. I was from a giant family and I was in the middle of them all. Somehow over time, I learned to only speak when I was spoken to, or I was going to be interrupted anyways.

I took that frame of mind and applied it to the rest of my life. I was a seventeen year old high school student and I was afraid to make any friends. I showed up at school, sat in the back of the class and only spoke when I was spoken to. After that it was straight home and I was back in the room that I shared with my twin brother Nolan.

Nolan was nothing like me. He was loud and also had a million friends surrounding him. He had no problem talking to people and saying what was on his mind loud enough, making sure that the people he wanted to hear him, heard him clearly. I am not sure how we got so different, but we were. Over the last few years, this has caused us to grow apart. We used to do everything together. Even though I did not talk much, he kept me around and stood up for me when people asked me what my problem was. I guess he was getting tired of me just like everyone else was.

I missed the times that I got to spend with him, but I got over it and decided that life was better off with me being alone. I did not need anyone else in my life. Even over the last few years, my parents had started talking to me less and less. I gave up that they were ever going to talk to me again.

“Hey,” Nolan said to me quietly as he tossed his things on his bed and headed for the closet. Every day he did the same thing. He came in, changed clothes and said hey. I always says “Hey,” back and that was it, we never said anything more and he was on his way. Somehow though, today was different.

Nolan changed his clothes in the closet and walked back over to his bed. He grabbed a few things from his backpack and set it on his desk before turning his attention back over to me. He looked at me for a few minutes and then made his way over to my bed and sat down beside me.

“What happened to you Neska,” he asked me quietly, he seemed concerned and I wanted to reach over and hug him, but I stayed still, not sure what to really do at this moment.

“Nothing happened to me,” I said almost in a defensive manner. Nothing about me had changed over these last few year, the only thing that changed is that I had a family that had completely given up on me and none of them seemed to really care to much about it. “Maybe it was you that something happened to, not me.”

Nolan looked over at me and frowned. I could tell that he knew what I was talking about and he looked like he felt bad about it.

“You just,” he began, trying to defend himself. “You just never talk and after a while, it really starts to get hard to deal with. It was like no matter what I did you wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t know who you are or why you are like this.”

“Why do you think I am like this?” I asked him, trying to keep myself in the conversation and not pull myself away like I tend to do.

“I don’t know why you are like this,” he began. “Maybe you don’t think you are smart enough or pretty enough to put yourself out there or something. That tends to be a big thing with quiet girls from what I gather.”

“Do you think that I am those things,” I asked. “Not pretty enough or not smart enough to talk to other people?”

“Of course not,” he said a little more loudly then he had been speaking. “You are the smartest most beautiful woman I have ever known. That is what makes it all confusing.”

“You ....” I said with a slight stutter, having trouble getting the worlds out of my mouth, “you think that I am beautiful?”

Nolan looked over at me, unsure of what to say. I was sure that he did not mean to tell me half of what he had said, but now it was to late and he had no other choice but to answer my question.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met,” he said with a shaky voice. It was then that he did something that I would never have expected to happen, he leaned over to me and pressed his lips softly against mine.

At first I was not sure what I was supposed to do. I knew that this was wrong, but the feelings there were rushing through my mind and my body were anything but wrong. Everything about this moment felt absolutely right, so I kissed him back, pressing my lips harder against his.

Nolan lifted himself up a little bit and brought himself to his knees.

He leaned me back down against the bed and laid his body down on top of me. I kept kissing him, though I felt like I was doing it all wrong. I had never kissed a boy before or done anything with a boy for that matter. I was new to all of this and I was sure that he could tell that by the way that I was kissing.

Nolan’s hands began to run all over my body. Everything was tingling and I began to feel weird. It was not a bad feeling at all, it was just a feeling that I was not used to having. All I really knew was that I did not want the feeling to go away.

I began to run my hands over his sides the way he was going to me. He moaned against my lips and I could tell that he liked it. After a while of our hands exploring one another, he began to kiss down my chin and around my neck. My whole body shivered and I could not control anything anymore, my thoughts were no longer my own and I was lost in this world that I never wanted to leave.

I gasped myself back into reality as he pulled up my shirt and bra and pulled my nipple into his mouth. The feelings that were rushing through me were so powerful I almost screamed but I stopped myself. I knew there were a bunch of people in our house, though non of them would ever come in here. I was sure though that a scream might startle them.

He kept sucking on my nipple as his hand made its way down my body and settled at the button on my jeans. I pushed my hips up giving him permission to go a little bit further and he moaned again, making my nipple vibrate, which in turn caused my body to shake.

He took his time unbuttoning my jeans. Once they were unbuttoned and unzipped, he pulled at them until they were down to my knees. I was not sure what was going to happen, but in that moment I did not care, I wanted whatever he was going to let me have.

My jeans around my knees and my panties clinging tightly to my body, I felt like the world was spinning. I was dizzy and lost and excited all at the same time. I had never even masturbated and now I felt that I was close to losing my virginity. Fear and anticipation washed over my body, but he did not fuck me.

Nolan rubbed his fingers over my panties. It was almost a feeling like it was too much, but that it was also not enough. I spread my legs under him, begging him for more with my body and he got the message.

Nolan ran his finger down the length of my panties until he hit the wet spot that my pussy had created. He growled lightly against my nipple that he was still sucking on, as he pulled my panties to the side and slid his finger in between my slit.

I let out a moan and pushed up against him. The most intense feelings were running through my body. My hands held onto him and I kept pushing my hips against him until he finally slid his finger inside of me. It hurt as he rammed it all the way into me and I let out a slight scream. He stopped immediately and pulled his finger out of me and looked up at me.

“Oh my god are you okay,” he asked me with concern in his voice. To be honest, I was not sure if I was okay or not, but I knew that I did not want him to stop.

“I am fine,” I tried to reassure him. “Please don’t stop. I want you to keep doing what it was you were doing, please.”

After a few minutes of begging him to stick his finger back into me, he agreed. He slowly slid it back into me and it still slightly hurt but I did not want him to stop so I made sure not to let out any sounds of pain. Soon the pain went away and I began to push up against him, which caused him to pick up his speed.

He was sliding his fingers deep into me and then pulling them almost all the way out before slamming them back into me. I moaned and thrust my hips against him each time. He began to pump his fingers hard and faster into me, the palm of his hand hitting against my clit, causing wave after wave of intense feelings to go through my body.

“Oh my,” I moaned loudly as my body shook under him. My hips began to thrust harder against his hand and I could not control my movement. He held me down as I tried to push harder against his fingers. “holy shit, oh my god, fuck.” I cried out.

I had never spoke that way in my entire life but it felt almost appropriate for the feeling that I was having. My body soon settled down and Nolan pulled his fingers out of me and moved his lips back up to kiss me.

“I love you Nellie,” he said as he looked me in the eyes. “I love you so very much and I am sorry for not being there for you.”

I put my finger against his lips to make him stop talking ... “I love you too Nolan.”