'bang bang bang'
“RJ let me in!”
'bang bang bang '
“If you're a robber you could have the decency to rob and kill me in my sleep you know!” RJ shouted back at the misbehaving door.
RJ got up from the table he had been studying at and walked to the door. He was annoyed by the disturbance but not totally surprised. This sort of intrusion was something of a bi-monthly ritual for RJ, and he would bet his life that he knew who was laying siege to his door. As he unlocked the door, swinging it open, he was met with exactly the person he had expected. Standing in the doorway was his big sister.
She really had out done herself this time: she was dressed in a skirt that barely covered her ass, a white tank-top with what appeared to be tears and make up smeared all over it, and hair and make up smeared and strewn haphazardly across her face. She had obviously been crying, and from the state she was in he was a little surprised she had managed to make the trip to his apartment at all.
“RJ, you shhhit, why did you lockkk the doo...the doo...” She collapsed.
She half threw herself, half collapsed into his arms. As she did he was made strikingly aware of just how little she really was wearing. He was unable to ignore her breast pressing ever tighter to him and with only their two shirts between them he couldn't stop his body from reacting. This immediately disturbed him and he tried to think of a way to get her off. However his efforts to stand her up only served to make her cling all the harder.
RJ was forced to abandon his efforts to stand her and instead manoeuvred his arms around her. Finally managing to get her in a position he could walk her, he set a course for the couch. When they arrived at the couch he awkwardly lowered the two of them down to sit. Now that she was no longer standing she redoubled her weeping and clung to RJ with total abandon.
“RrrrrJaay, I'm sorryyy,” she sobbed into his chest.
“Shhhhh shhhh, it's OK,” RJ reassured her.
He gathered her closer so she had her head nestled in the crook of his neck and she could more easily take refuge in his embrace. Her sobbing still continuing; he fastened his arms around her and let her cry until she quieted on her own.
He waited a few seconds after she had mostly stopped to say, “So...What's new with you?”
She gave a week laugh, however she made no move to pull away or answer him.
He started stroking her hair and declared in a mock exploratory voice, “All right, Rachel, I will just have to guess then.”
He made a pronounced pause for comical effect, and then started throwing out theories of why she was so distraught. His guesses included everything from trolls under a bridge to her pet gold fish dying. This too was something of a ritual for the two of them. He had used this strategy as far back as when they were both in grade school and it never failed to elicit a smile and prompt her to talk.
While the fanciful questions had been a go-to tool for years, the pattern of RJ picking up the pieces of his older sister was a dynamic that had been there as long as either could remember. Some of RJ's first memories were of his sister sneaking into his room when she had nightmares.
RJ, always the shy and meticulous planner, was always there for Rachel whenever anything went wrong. Their father being a drunk and their mother an ineffectual layabout; RJ spent most of his time worrying about his sister and trying to keep the peace in the house. This gave him a far more mature bearing than most kids his age and especially his sister, who took the opposite reaction to their situation. Constantly acting out for attention and becoming a heavy partier in her teens. As the years went on the dynamic became the core of their relationship. Now into their mid and early twenties, their lives were centred around that old pattern.
Currently she was passing from one shitty boyfriend to another. Consequently always coming up on another bad breakup, the conclusions of which were always Rachel ending up at RJ's apartment in the middle of the night. Being that this boyfriend was a particularly special specimen of bastard, RJ had been dreading this breakup for a wile.
She had finally begun to really laugh in the middle of his detailed description of a sexually demented walrus dressed in a speedo and his mother's wig. Until then she had been resting her head and taking comfort in his babbling. Just enjoying the feeling of his body and the sensation of safety.
RJ, finally exhausting his imagination for comical suggestions, bit the bullet.
“Or was it Bill?” he remained silent waiting for her to respond.
She finally lifted herself from his chest and looked him straight in the eyes. He had spent a lifetime looking into her eyes and always melted into butter when he did. While RJ didn't like to examine that fact his sister was all too aware of it and always fixed him with her best innocent stare whenever she wanted RJ to do something for her.
“Could you get me something to drink?” she asked in a small, almost timid voice.
The fragile sound made RJ want nothing more than to hold her tight again. She had showed up to his apartment crying before, but never this broken.
“Is, is that what you want?” he asked.
“Ya, I would kill for a beer.” She bit her lower lip at the end.
RJ looked into her eyes for a moment and then gave her a sad smile. “How about some tea.”
“Are you out of beer?” she asked, the hint of an edge in her voice.
He wasn't, but he didn't think now was the time to mention that fact.
“Ya, anyway I think tea would make you feel better,” he said.
“OK, if you think it's better.” She had a pouting face but RJ knew the last thing she needed was alcohol.
“OK, wait here.”
He moved to get up, and while she clung to him for a moment she eventually relented and let him rise to make the tea. As he did he felt on odd sense of disappointment that she had let him go. He busied himself in the kitchen, heating the water and finding the tea bags in the clutter of his cabinets.
He called out to her, “So what happened?”
She paused for a moment before answering, “I walked in on him and some two-bit whore in our bedroom.”
This, while not wholly surprising, was infuriating to RJ and he had to remind himself not to grasp the faucet so hard.
“Then what?” he asked in a cold levelled voice.
“The fuck rushed after me trying to explain. It was a joke, he sure as shit didn't fall dick first did he! I started hitting him, trying to get him away from me.”
She paused.
“When it was clear I wasn't buying any of his bullshit he started screaming that I was a whore and that I was just a slut turning tricks for a place to stay. He was just such a bastard! I got out as fast as I could. After I got myself together I came here.”
“I didn't even get any of my clothes,” she added forlornly.
“Sorry for dumping all this on you,” she had a guilty and dejected expression at this last bit.
“Don't be...” He felt awful for his sister.
The tea started to whistle so he made at pouring the tea into the cups and adding the tea bags.
“Look, tomorrow I will go get your stuff. You don't ever have to see that piece of shit again, and if he tries anything when I'm there...” he thought for a moment.
“I'll take one of my old razors and ram one of the blades up his dick hole.”
She laughed at that.
His work done he brought the steeping tea over to his sister and set it on the coffee table. He sat down next to her and was pleased when she reclaimed her place on his chest. Re-wrapping his arms around her he felt an odd sense of fulfilment and inexplicable excitement.
“Hey, RJ?”
“Ya?”
“How many times have you held me like this.”
He thought for a moment and admitted, “I don't know.”
“You know I don't think I have ever had a boyfriend hold me the way you do...Certainly not Bill, but I don't think anyone but you ever has.” She let the statement hang in the air.
“I love you,” he said, not knowing what else to say, his feelings quickly becoming possessive and protective. He drew her closer.
She took one of his hands and started playing with it in hers. Tracing the fingers and lines in his palm.
“Hey, RJ, how come you never have any girlfriends?”
He looked down at her. He watched her playing with his hand but quickly became drawn to her breast. On full display for him at this angle he was unable see anything else.
“Never have the time I guess.”
He was starting to feel scared, his penis was enlarging enough that it was becoming noticeable and he desperately didn't want her to know. He made to move away from her and was met with impassable resistance. She tightened her hold on his hand and pressed herself to him with even more pressure.
The effect was both wonderful and horrifying. At this angle he was staring right down her shirt at her breasts. He could feel every contour of her almost perfect body and although he thought he must just be imagining it he could smell nothing but her body's natural musk. The sensation was overwhelming. His mind was literately filled with a blissful buzzing. He stopped resisting and molded himself to her, breathing her in and feasting his eyes on her fair and flawless breasts.
“RJ?”
It took him a minute. “Ya?”
“You have always been there for me all my life. You always warn me about men and I never listen. Then you're there after to pick me up and put me back together.”
“I love you,” he repeated.
“I love you to, my Robby.” It was her childhood nickname for him.
He didn't know how to respond, and now he wasn't sure if he was holding her or she was holding him.
His breathing became slowed as he watched her.
“Your tea is getting cold,” he said, at a loss for anything else to say.
She ignored him.
She turned his hand over in hers, facing it palm up. Slowly she began to raise it to her face. RJ was frozen in rapt attention, unable to look away or resist her. Slowly she turned his finger up and she put it to her mouth. She rested it on her lips. He could feel the hot breath coming between her slightly parted lips. Then she slowly took the finger into her mouth and sucked on it. It was like electricity and a paralytic all in one. Almost as if she knew he couldn't stop her she continued without urgency.
RJ's breath caught in his chest. He raised his head and breathed out slowly. The feeling was the most encompassing thing he had ever felt. He was torn between his desire to run from his sister, and wanted nothing more than for this moment to last forever.
Finally, slowly, so slowly it was sweet agony, she slid his finger from her mouth. She turned in his arms to look into his face. RJ was shocked to see her eyes looking brighter than he had ever seen them. He was spell bound by her gaze. No longer timid or fragile but the picture of resolve and sensuality. Her distorted make up and hair now casting her in a wild and exotic light.
“I don't want to ignore you any more.”
He couldn't even comprehend her words, it was as if he was in the middle of a tornado and he was helpless in its power.
“You have always been there for me...I love you.” She looked straight into his eyes.
“Rachel, I? I?.... it isn't.. It's not....” RJ made to move away.
She moved her hand to his chest, fingers digging into him through his shirt.
“Do you love me?”
She pressed on him, slowly moving him under her. Now she was looking down on him.
“Do you love me, my Robby?”
She was bearing down on him: body, mind, and soul.
“Yes,” he whispered. “I love you...my Ray.” It was his childhood name for her.
She leaned over and kissed him, she pressed her lips over his, passionate and hot. Her tongue moving from her mouth into his. He was lit on fire. His mouth was full of the taste of her, the feel of her. He was breathing her in, deep and needing. He wrapped one arm around the small of her back and the other over her neck. He pressed her to him forcefully, till he thought he would drown in her and then further on and on. She dug her nails into his chest, and grasped the back of RJ's head with her other. Taking full clumps of hair in her hands.
She came up for air. RJ tried to stop her but she moved a hand to his face. She cupped his face resting her thumb just under his eye. He stilled in her hand. She sat up, straddling his waist.
She looked down at him, giving nothing in her face but showing her anticipation in her eyes.
He whispered, “Please.”
The faintest smile crossed her face, it was as if the whole world fell away in that instance.
