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Football Buddy: Part One

"Losing a football buddy has never been better"

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Sometimes things happen for a reason, that's what they say. I tend not to believe that shit happens is more my philosophy. I work at a packing and shipping firm in one of the busiest cities, so I usually do not have the time to socialize. 

My days are usually spent in front of a computer printing shipping forms or receiving invoices. My only savior is football season, its the one time of the year that I can relax and scream and shout at the box. My football buddy used to live down the hall from me in the apartment building I live in, but last year he moved out to be with his girlfriend of two weeks. Yes, you read right two weeks. He fell hook line and sinker for her mind games and now he is probably going to get her pregnant and be stuck with her for life, his problem, not mine. 

I love to stick to myself most of my neighbors know nothing about me, and I like to keep it that way. Football season is about to start, and for the first time in four years, I am going to watch it alone. Which is fine with me but its always fun to make fun of someone cheering for the other team.

One day I was on my way into the building when I notice there was a moving truck parked at the service entrance. Now mind you our apartment building is rather expensive so seeing a moving vehicle either meant someone was moving out or getting kicked out. There were many vacancies because of the price. 

When I got closer, I noticed the back of the truck was near to empty, and the ramp was close to the door. It couldn't be  I thought to myself. As I got to the front entrance Francis, the doorman smiled at me. I was not too fond of his smile. It was fake as well as the other people that worked in the building. 

“Someone moving out?” I asked as I opened the small mailbox. 

“No,” Francis smiled. “We have new tenants.” 

Great more people to avoid. I smiled then walked away as quickly as possible. Francis had the bad habit of making a small conversation into a much longer one. 

I take the elevator up to my level, and there they are smack in the middle of the hallway trying to get a large couch into the doorway. Turn it sideways idiots I think to myself as I try to walk by without being noticed. 

"Hello, there neighbor" a man yells from inside the apartment. The two moving guys look at me as if to ask if I want to get past the large obstruction.

Nope just standing in the hallway for my health I say to myself. 

"Hi," I say out loud to the voice.

"Names Marshall." the man says as the couch pops through the door.

"Matt" I replied shaking his hand. I can see already he will be hard to avoid. He is one of "those guys" the ones that want to be friends with everybody. He is a small guy, brown hair. Skinny and tall. 

"So you live in the building?" he asks as he looks me over. The usual guy thing. Which I have no problem with I am much taller than him at 6' 4, dark black skin, with a bald head, very much in shape, I run and go to the gym on a very tight schedule. Dark brown eyes. My ex used to say I was full of shit because of their dark color.

"Nope just hanging in the corridor seeing what goes on in here" I reply. Hopefully, my sarcasm will push him away.

"Ah, stupid question huh," Marshall laughs. "My bad." He says pointing to himself. 

Okay, this needs to end soon. "I am going to head to my apartment now," I say not trying to be polite at all, quickly walking away before he can get a word in. 

When I get into my apartment, I quickly lock the door and reach for my stereo remote turning it on full blast. Hopefully, that will make sure he doesn't follow. The rest of the night is uneventful except that my team lost its first pre-season game. Lucky pre-season doesn't mean anything or else I would have been mad. At least the new guys looked promising.

The next day as I left for work, I noticed two new cars in the parking garage, they must belong to the new guys. Maybe he is married or has a roommate. I shrug it off and drive on into work. 

On the way home I ran into the adult store to pick up some magazines, my subscription ran out, and I had forgotten to renew it. As I parked my car, I notice Marshall getting out of his car and running towards me. 

"Howdy," Marshall says running to catch up to me.

"Hi," I reply trying to be as distant as possible. 

"Sorry about the movers yesterday,” Marshall says as he walks along with me to the elevator. 

"It happens," I reply trying to end this conversation quickly.

"We just moved here from Montana," Marshall says as we enter the elevator. 

Okay, I will bite, this time. Maybe he was interested in sports. I could do with someone else to talk sports with, maybe go to a bar.

"Really?" I say in the most exciting voice I can come up with, just the sound of it coming out of my mouth didn't sound right. 

"Yeah my firm collapsed, and the only other opportunity that opened was here," Marshall shrugs as the elevator door opens. 

"Ah, sorry to hear that," I reply once we get out the elevator. 

"You don't know where any sports bars do you?" Marshall asks. 

Okay, now he has my interest.

"Depends on what game you are trying to watch," I reply.

"No, not me, I hate sports," he says shaking his head. "It's for the wife, she loves football, and she can get pretty loud, with the screaming and yelling," Marshall says shaking his head like a bobblehead doll.

"Well there are two down the road, but I think the best football bar is the farthest straight down on the left. Mackies I think its called," I tell him walking past his door. 

"Where do you go?" Marshall asks quickly.

Dammit, so close!  I scream internally didn't get away fast enough.

"I have a good set up in my apartment, so I watch there," I reply not looking around. Damn my honesty.

"Would it be a bother if she can watch a few games? Until she gets settled?" 

"Sure" I reply through gritted teeth. "What the hell?" 

"Thank you, I will tell her," he says hurrying into his apartment. Why didn't I think of that, running away? I can run, but No I had to stand and talk. Now I got some unknown woman coming to my apartment to watch football. Just great.

I sat on my couch waiting for my show to come on when there is a knock on the door.

"Hi," Marshall says as I open the door.

"What?" I ask him as rude as I can. He stands there looking at me with a sad look on his face. "I mean what is it?" I say back. I am starting to feel sorry for this guy. Unlike most I can that his real intention is to be my friend. 

"My wife's team is playing tonight, can she watch it here? I have work to do, and she is distracting me," Marshall says as he stands in my doorway. He must have asked one of the others what apartment I lived in; I am sure one of them thought it would be a good laugh. 

"That's fine," I reply,  I Could do with some company since it had been a while since I had a visitor in my house, besides I wasn't going to watch any games tonight. Marshall rushed away with a big smile on his face. 

I walked back to the television and turned it on the sports channel. I had no clue what team this person would like, and since there were three games on, I left it on the sports channel. As I headed back to my computer, the door knocked.

"It's open" I yelled as I headed away from the door.

"Matt?" I hear a woman's voice say from the other room.

"The television is on turn it to the channel you want," I yell back. I start on all the paperwork that I could not get done, from the day before and today. 

"Thank you," the voice says back. Moments go by in silence, just the drum of the football game in the background.

"Fuck me sideways! Catch the fucking ball!" I hear from behind me. The sudden noise made me jump as I forgot that someone was here. I smile and continue doing what I was doing. "Seriously dude. You suck dicks!" another scream comes from the room. I laugh at that one and stand up to see what is going on. 

When I walk into the room, there in front of me and sitting on my couch is an attractive woman. Her legs are crossed under her, and she is drinking one of my beers. She had long brunette with blonde highlights, with adorable eyes they looked blue from where I am standing. She is wearing a bronco's shirt with jean shorts. Her flip flops were on the floor.

"Having fun?" I ask as I walk around the couch.

"I would if my team didn't suck donkey dicks!" she says before realizing she is in my apartment. "Sorry I have a foul mouth when I watch football," she says when she looks at the beer. "I will pay you back" she smiles at me.

"No big," I say looking at the game. The Broncos were losing to the Jets. "Its only preseason," I say. She gives me a look that could kill.

"Fuck that, they sucked last year and sucked during the draft picking up a god damn QB when we needed receivers. Well, they could receive perfectly if they bent over in the shower" she said taking a massive swig off the beer bottle. My kind of girl I thought to myself.

"Want another?" I say getting up and heading to the kitchen.

"Sure! What ya got to snack on?" she asks.

"Was going to order something probably Chinese" I reply.

"Pizza with wings and I will pay," she says back. I smile and nod.

"Phone is behind you. The pizza place is speed dial 4," I say back to her as I threw a bottle of beer at her as I threw it I forgot that she was not my beer bud. She catches it in one hand while dialing the phone number, with the other. 

"What toppings?" she asks.

"You pick" I reply relaxing back on the couch as she orders. The rest of the night goes comfortably well, we both scream and yell at the TV and eat pizza and wings. We both forget that it is getting late until there is a knock on the door.

"Doors open!" we both yell in unison.

"Britt? You have that interview in the morning," Marshall says as he peeps his head through the door. 

"Shit!" she says as she gets up. "Thanks, Matt," she says as she walks out the door.

"Thanks, Matt," Marshall says as they leave.

I was left cleaning up the mess as usual. I spent most of the night trying to catch up on my paperwork. Needless to say, I did not sleep too well. As I left for work in the morning, I see her coming out of her apartment. 

"Hi," I say as I pass by.

"Matt!" she says in an excited voice. "Thanks again" she reached for her purse... "I have to pay for the beer," she says.

"Forget it" I reply "You can bring the beer next time," I say back to her as I pass her.

"Deal!" she shouts down the hall.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The next few weeks go by without incident. I don't see any of them in the hall. She must have gotten the job, and he said his work is mostly from home. The weekend was approaching which mean the start of the regular season. I had loaded the fridge and freezer with beers and snacks. I had forgotten entirely about her down the hall until I come home from my run Saturday afternoon. 

"Matt" I heard her yell out. I looked around for the person who yelled my name and 

"Yes?" I reply still not seeing anyone. Then I see her roll out from under one of the cars.  

"We are still on for Sunday right?" Brittany asked. I had guessed that Britt was short for Brittany. She stood up and walked over to me. 

"Oh yeah, definitely," I say as I look at Brittany for the first time in daylight. My apartment had been dark with only the light from the television. Now in broad daylight, I had a better look of her. 

 Brittany's hair was matted with sweat and oil, her black shirt that was soaked from sweat sticks to her frame which is by all standards great! She is not anyone that can be considered America's top model or anything like that, but she was stunning in most circles. For the first time, I noticed that she was very blessed in the chest area. The dark shirt hid most, but from what I could tell she blew my ex-girlfriend out of the water and she had F cups.  

"Sorry would shake your hand but have to change the brakes," Brittany said wiping her hand across her face. 

"Yeah, I have to take mine in to get done soon," I said looking over at my SUV. Brittany gave me another one of those looks that could kill.

"I'll do it,” Brittany said. "Go get the parts, I am already dirty, and we could talk about the upcoming games.” 

"Parts?" I asked. I had no clue about what parts to get for my vehicle.

"You city people," Brittany shook her head. She took out her phone and looked a few things up. “Number?” 

The way she said it and the way she looked at me, it didn't seem like a question, or a request, more like a demand. 

I gave her my phone number, and she sent me a text with the screenshot. “Go and get them,” Brittany said tossing me the keys to her car. She held her hand open as I gave her mine. 

“It's the...” I began to say, but she had already turned the alarm off. 

“Go,” Brittany said tying her long her back in a ponytail. “I will get started.” 

When I got back, Brittany showed me how to change my brakes. She even pointed out that I needed rotors also which mean I had to take another trip to the store. After a while and a long talk, I had managed to change three of them by myself. It was much cheaper than going to the mechanics. We both stood up sweaty and hands covered in dirt. 

"See you Sunday," Brittany said shaking my hand. “I got to go to the store and pick dinner up.”

On the way up to my apartment, I bumped into Marshall, who for some reason looked guilty of something, he looked around as I got off the elevator. 

“Hey,” I nodded towards him as I walked closer. 

"You still on for Sunday?" Marshall asks. I look at him strangely as he slams the door to his apartment hard.

"Huh?" I say.

"Football?" he replies.

"Yeah of course, just got done talking about it. With Brittany," I say walking away. 

He stood there waving at me, still holding onto the door handle. Something was odd with him today. 

The rest of the day goes by without incident until later when I realize I don't have enough beer for the games tomorrow, I had enough if it was just me, but remembering that Brittany was coming, I knew I had to get more. Cursing myself, I left to go to the local liquor store. It was a short drive, and I liked going there because I know the owner.

"Hey Matt," the owner whispers to me as I walk around. I walk over to him. He always has funny things to tell me about things going on in the neighborhood. "That new neighbor of yours is a hot one huh?" he smiles. He grins from ear to ear.

"Yeah but your a Mexican, Rey," I say back to him. We always play the race game with each other.

"What's that mean huh?" Rey laughs back at me as I go to get the beer.

"You're like chest level to her," I say back. He laughed as he gets another customer coming through the door. To my surprise, it was Marshall with two guys. I nod at him as he comes in, he nods back, but his face drops.

"Hold on guys," Marshall says to the two guys as he walks up to me.

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"Uh, hi," he says looking down at the floor.

"Hi," I answer back. The odd silence is annoying. "Are you going to say something, this beer is getting heavy." 

"They are just some work friends we are getting some wine, we are celebrating a contract deal," Marshall says not making eye contact. 

Like I care what he or his friends do. Looking over at the other two they are in the wine section, both of them looking in my direction. Neither of them seemed like they worked in the same field as Marshall. As I make eye contact they both look away from me. 

It finally clicks in my head. "I despise cheaters," I say to Marshall as I look down at him. 

"I know, I should have..." Marshall begins to say in a high pitched whine. "I will tell her tomorrow, she thinks I am working overnight," he says in that irritating voice.

"Tomorrow before the game," I say to him pushing by him. 

I pay for the beer shaking my head at Rey, who also has connected the dots. The three of them leave without buying anything. I watch them go before heading home. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The morning comes fast and even though, I was tempted to go down the hall and tell his wife, I kept to my promise. I spent most of the morning cleaning the apartment. Part of me expects her not to show another part expects her to come in and cry her eyes out. Both of which I find myself not wanting to happen. The pre-game shows start, and I sit and wait. The door opens, and she walks in silent as a mouse.

"Don't say a word,” Brittany says raising a finger at me. I nodded back at her as I sat silently as she walked to the kitchen. She took a beer from the fridge. We sit in silence as the early games. 

"Switch please," Brittany said as she looked at the screen.  So I switched to one of the other games. 

I expected her to be crying, but she looked furious. The game we were watching had not either of our teams playing, but it was a team that was in her division. 

I turned on the feature that switched the channel to the team that was is in the red zone. After a few plays, she began to start her usual screaming at the players. Moreover, by the second quarter, she seemed to have returned to her regular self. 

"Thank you," Brittany said as she looked at me. 

"For what?" I answered with a smile.

"You know what," Brittany replied. 

"No problem," I said as we knocked our beer bottles together. We started cheering and screaming at the teams on the television. Then at half-time, I went to the bathroom when I come out, she was in tears. 

"Sorry, I tried," Brittany nodded at me. 

"Don't worry about it. I was kinda expecting it really, " I say reaching for the paper towels.

"My father said he was a bit fruity," Brittany smiled.

"Should have listened huh?" I said.

"You're not helping," Brittany laughed.

"Well, weren't there any signs?" 

"What? Did he want to fuck me in the ass all the time?" Brittany laughed. 

"Well that wasn't what I meant, but yeah" I replied. 

"No, actually he never wanted to. Even when I said I wanted to try it," Brittany shrugged.

"Too close to the real thing I guess," I said shrugging.

"Hey!" Brittany said tossing the roll of paper towels at me, "I've got long hair and a nice ass. Thank you very much!" 

"So you say," I said the ice was broken and she was smiling again. That's all that mattered.

"Well his loss, just got to figure out what to do now," Brittany said as the game started. The camera panned on the cheerleaders.

"There is a sign right there, how can he not watch football, just for the cheerleaders," I say. 

Brittany stares at me. "You serious? They look like little boys with those flat chests," Brittany looked back at the screen. "Look at that one she barely has anything going on," she pointed out one of them.

"At least they are there. I didn't say I liked them, just said any guy would like to see cheerleaders," I replied.

"I tried to be a cheerleader once," Brittany smiled. "They said I was too big." 

"Nah," I said as I looked at her she was in good shape, her legs looked great in the jeans shorts, and her chest, well it was massive to sum it up.

"You try jumping around with these things," Brittany said as she grabbed her boobs and shook them. "I Nearly knocked myself out a couple of times.”

I coughed up my beer.

"Don't do that," I said as I tried to regain my composure.

"What? This?" Brittany said shaking her boobs again.

"Yes, that," I say.

"Why?" Brittany laughed as she looked at me. "They like it," she said hoisting them up and letting them fall, they bounced oh so nicely. They were definitely natural.

"Well cause.. never mind," I say returning my gaze to the game.

"Ah, you're a boob guy," Brittany nodded as leaned back into the couch.   

"Duh!" I laughed as Brittany pelted me with a chip. "What's with the throwing?" I laugh. 

Brittany shrugs as we return to watching the rest of the game. I switch when the game is over to my teams game, her team is on the other channel, so we had it split screened.

"You already lost you know that right?" Brittany said. She was right, we had no chance against this team, but I was still going to watch.

"Shush," I say back to her.

"So what's the biggest?" Brittany asks. 

“Biggest what?” I reply

"Biggest pair you laid your hands on?" Brittany asks as she looked over at me.

"Uh," I knew the exact size, but I pretended to make it look like I was trying to remember, "40F, I think," No doubt they were F they belonged to my recent ex.

"Pfft!" Brittany said with a laugh, trying to hold in her beer as she swallowed. "I think I  was an F in my first year of high school." 

"Nice!" I reply trying not to sound interested. "What about you?"

“Just over seven inches, kinda thick,” Brittany said this time like she was bragging. 

"I can't remember being that size,”  I said as I took a swig of my beer. 

Brittany looked over at me with wide eyes then looked down at my crotch. “Oh really? Okay let's make these games a bit more interesting," Brittany said sitting up. "If your team scores first. I will show you mine, if my team scores, you got to drop your pants?" She said the last part with a devious smile. 

I have nothing to be ashamed of in that region. I am bigger than most men. On the other side, I would love to see what she was hiding under that shirt. 

"You are on," I said sitting up. We both sat in silence as we watched the games unfold. My team, of course, couldn't move the ball against a high school defense. Her team's defense couldn't stop anybody, but then one of her cornerbacks catches an interception and runs it all the way back. 

"Crap!" I swear as I stand up.

"Come on drop em!" Brittany shouts turning to face me. I drop my jeans then my boxers. "Holy Shit!" Brittany shouts as she stared at my dick. "Didn't know they came in that size!" she smiled. Her eyes opened wide as she stared at it. "What got you excited like that?" 

"I'm not," I smiled back at her. 

"You've got to be shitting me. It gets bigger?" Brittany said not taking her eyes off of me. 

I nod looking at her."Okay, you saw it, back to the games," I said reaching down for my pants. Brittany quickly swatted my hands away from my pants. 

"I want to see," Brittany said as she pulled on her jersey revealing her chest in a bra that could hold the rocky mountains. Her massive chest over spilled each cup.

"Wow!" I say looking down at them. Brittany reaches back behind her and unbuckles the bra still staring at my now growing dick.

"You can say that again!" Brittany says not even paying attention to me staring at her huge boobs. They weren't just big they were huge and hung so nicely, they weren't saggy or perky but just right, with small pink nipples that just begged to be sucked. 

It was hard to imagine a small body like hers, having huge boobs like those. My dick was at its full length of 10 inches and throbbing. 

We both stood staring before she reached out and touched my dick, with one hand. Brittany fell to her knees and held it in one hand while holding my balls in the other. Her mouth opened and immediately start sucking on the head, she bobbed back and forth on it, trying to get it all in her mouth. I reached down to try and get to those huge boobs, but she pulled them away. 

Brittany sucked on my dick harder and faster until it was all that could be heard in the room, both her hands worked on the shaft of my dick while she sucked on it deeply. Her eyes were staring up at me. My legs were beginning to get weak. 

Never had anyone sucked on my dick this long. They had always complained about their mouth hurting. I moaned deeply as she was getting more and more of my dick in her mouth, her tongue expertly twirled around the head as she took it out and back in.

"Fuck I got to sit down," I said finally giving in to the tingling feeling in my legs. I sat back on the couch. Brittany held onto my dick not letting go, as I sat, she took it straight back into her mouth. The game in the background was just noise now. Even though I could watch it, My eyes were set on this woman that was given me the best blow job I ever had.

The best thing about being in this seated position was that I could finally get my hands on those boobs. I played with her nipples pinching them and rolling them between my thumb and finger one at a time. Then I squeezed them both. She was moaning in between strokes. I could tell they were sensitive. 

"How would you like to see me fuck your dick with my boobs?" Brittany asked as she lifted them both. I couldn't help but nod. She smiled as she separated them and put my dick between them. 

Her tits engulfed my dick. I could only see a partial part of my head at the top. Brittany bounced her massive tits up and down my dick while licking the head as it barely peeped out of the top of her enormous cleavage, this was the best tit fucking I ever had, the loud slapping noise of her tits hitting my thighs drowned out the television. 

"Fuck babe get up here," I patted on the couch. Brittany got up on the sofa as I tore off her jean shorts. She wasn't wearing any underwear. I dived my head between her legs. She was soaking wet and ready for my tongue to start sliding in and out of her wetness. 

My tongue found her clit quickly and darted around and over it. Brittany writhed and moved her body to the movements of my fingers and tongue. Her hand grabbed my head tightly as she pulled it into her body. She was forcing my face into her. I could tell that she hadn't had anything like this done to her in a long while. 

"Stop fuck me now!" Brittany screamed loud enough for the whole building to hear. I got up and began to stand to get a condom from the room. "Put it in me now!" she yelled at me. 

I was good at pulling out, so I obliged. I started to slide into her slowly. It so tight, felt like her pussy was pulling me inside, with just the head and just over an inch inside her she was already moaning. 

Considering that her husband was gay he probably never fucked her hard enough to make her feel it. I pushed harder into her getting more of it in, she moaned and looked down at my black dick going inside her. 

"Put it in me with, force it, stretch my pussy!" Brittany yelled.

 I pushed harder and finally felt it go in deeper. Brittany screamed and put a hand on her stomach as if she could feel it all the way up there. I only had half of it in. 

"God damn that's a big fucking cock!" Brittany said as her breathing got heavy, her nails dug into the seat cushions.

 I began to fuck her harder holding her legs out wide. I watched as my dick went in out of her. Brittany was getting used to me as I fucked her deeper. She held up one of her boobs to her mouth and began sucking on the nipple. 

"Fuck me," she said looking into my eyes. I pushed deeper getting more into her, with each inch she climbed the couch trying to get away, then she came back when she got used to it. I had never been able to put it all of my dick into anyone. Brittany had taken more than most. I was determined to bury it inside her. 

 Brittany offered me a tit, and I bent down to suck on it. My dick felt like it was in a vice, her muscles contracted around it with every stroke, I already felt my balls churning, but I was not going to cum yet. I wanted to see if she could take all of it. 

Her pussy was getting wetter as I fucked it deeper than any man ever had. I used her legs to pull her down on it with every stroke. She was screaming and swearing at the top of her lungs. 

"I want to feel it from behind," Brittany said. I stood up as she bent over the table facing the television screen. Her ass was shapely, and her hips were perfect for grabbing onto, I held onto both sides of her waist as I held my dick at the entrance of her hole, I slid it up and down across her lips. 

"Stop fucking teasing me, put it in," Brittany said as she looked back at me. 

"If you want it so badly, you will have to do it yourself," I smiled down at her. 

I held my dick steady, Brittan slowly pushed back on me. Her mouthed opened wide as she felt it enter her. Slowly she began to rock back and forth. Her head lowered down onto the table. 

Brittany was pushing back and forth on me harder and faster, arching her back as she went so I got a good view of her ass. I was tempted to take my dick out and put it in her ass as she wiggled her ass on my dick, but I thought better not, not this time. 

Looking up I could see the game. My team had scored a touchdown. I grabbed hold of Brittany's tight waist again and started fucking her hard. She gasped as she felt my dick go nearly all the way. I held back from pushing any further. Her fingers and body relaxed as I slowed my pace. I was getting the best of both worlds I was fucking a beautiful, busty woman and watching the game. I couldn't help but smile. 

"Fuck! I am cumming!" Brittany screamed as she pushed back on my dick, I felt her body shudder over and over, but I did not stop, fucking her tight pussy. 

I knew what I wanted now. I knew I could not get my dick all the way in her this time, but I wanted to cum on her tits. I pulled out and turned her around laying her on the table in front of the television. Brittany knew what I wanted and pulled her tits apart as I slapped my dick between them.

"Fuck my titties, until you cum!" Brittany said as she pushed them together. I obliged again fucking them holding on to her shoulders. I fucked her huge boobs as hard as I could trying to get more of my dick to come out the other end. 

"Fuck me," I said I knew I couldn't hold it any longer. I kept my dick in mid-stroke between her titties and came. The white liquid leaked down from her cleavage and around her neck.

"Damn, that was good," Brittany said. After we both caught our breath, we both plummeted on the couch. "Get your energy up," she said. "I am far from done."

All I could about as I looked over at her, was this was the first night of the football season. What could get better than sex and football? 

 

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