CHAPTER 3: BUYING SOME TOYS

The school week went on with little fanfare as it was report card week, so both Gwen and I were bombarded with work. Writing down comments for 60 kids in every category of learning is exhausting and brain-numbing. So on Friday, Gwen and I went out for drinks, to celebrate another ending of report card reporting; Rob was out of town as was often the case. After a couple drinks we left, Gwen saying she was exhausted and needed some sleep. I laughed and said it was only 7, but I too was pretty tired.

As we got in the car I said, “Can we make one more stop?”

Gwen responded, “Sure, where else do you need to go?”

“The adult shop on 8 th . I need a new toy or two for tomorrow night,” I said rather matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Gwen said surprised and seemingly a bit crestfallen.

“Plus, you being an old married hen pretty soon, we should get you some special toys for yourself. Rob is out of town a lot.”

“I –I –I have a toy.”

“I know, the same small, thin vibe you had in college isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” she said ever so slightly defiant.

“It is isn’t it?” I said while laughing, “I was just kidding.”

She responded all defensive, “I don’t need it, Rob is all I need.”

“Really, Rob is gone for weeks at a time, how do you survive? If I don’t get off every day or two I am a complete mess.”

“Every day or two?” Gwen asked astonished.

“Usually every day, sometimes more than once, if I am being honest,” I said honestly.

“Huh,” Gwen said contemplating, her mine seeming to go elsewhere.

“It’s settled girlfriend, we are getting you some new play things.” We drove in silence for the last couple minutes of the drive.

We entered the store and I went directly to the toys. Now I have a decent collection of adult accessories already, but I decided this was a great opportunity to up the ante on my seduction of my best friend.

The first thing I did was grab a pair of handcuffs. “Ever been handcuffed?”

Gwen shook her head no.

“Well you really should try it. It is exhilarating when you are totally at the whim of someone else. It is, even better, to be the one handcuffing someone else. Suddenly you have all the power. These ones even glow in the dark, that would be pretty handy don’t you think?” She didn’t answer as I tossed a pair into a basket and said, “One can never have too many pairs.” I then walked over to the vibrators. I grabbed a 7 inch black one and tossed it to Gwen. “Is Rob this big?”

Gwen blushed and looked at the toy as if it was an alien object.

“Twice as big as the one you have now.” I then grabbed a 5 inch pink one with five speeds and said, “This may be more to your liking.” I then took the black one and tossed it in the basket.

Gwen looked at the toy as I moved to a double ended dildo, something I didn’t actually have. I looked at them as a saleslady, a woman in her late 40s, black hair, clearly dyed, and hazel eyes, walked over. I asked her, “Any advice on what kind of double ended dildo one should buy?”

Gwen dropped the toy when she realized someone else saw her with it.

The woman, clearly not fazed by such a question, answered, in a clearly British accent, “Well it depends on what you want. Our most popular, for women of experience, is our 7 inch long and a solid one inch thick double dong.” She reached up to an upper shelf, where I got a good look at her still firm ass. She handed it to me still in its packaging.

“Have you ever used one yourself?” I asked teasingly.

She smiled and said, “Long ago in my college days.”

“Was it effective?”

“Oh it did the trick.”

Gwen just watched the sexual verbal exchanges, not saying a word, yet seemingly hanging on every syllable.

I looked at it and burst out laughing. “Gwen it’s called the Pretty in Pink Double Dong. That is hilarious. Seriously, it even has two different John Hughes references.”

Gwen looked at me confused.

“Well the Pretty in Pink reference is obvious, but remember in 16 Candles that Chinese exchange student is named Dong,” I explained. I then continued, “I have to get this.” I placed it in the basket which was already half full.

The saleslady then handed me a much slimmer blue dildo called a Feeldoe Dildo. I looked at in awe. The saleslady explained, “This one is for a situation where one wants to be a little dominant and still get off at the same time.”

“That sounds like me,” I flirted.

“I thought it may,” she said back.

“So how does it work?” I queried greatly intrigued.

“Well you see the one part goes inside you, while the other would go in your lover and you could actually use it as a penis to make love to her.”

“Wow,” I said, “Look Gwen isn’t this cool?”

Gwen blushed again, but said, “It is creative.”

“That it is,” I said looking for a price. “Ouch,” I said, “its 120 bucks.”

The saleslady said, “It is expensive, but if you buy at least 5 toys, I will give you the special customer discount of 30 percent.”

“Well in that case,” I flirted, “How can I say no?” The saleslady put it in the basket for me.

“I also need a strap-on cock, preferably one that vibrates as well. Do they make such a thing?” I queried as Gwen gave an awkward cough slash choke sound.

I looked at her and winked.

The British woman completely unfazed answered, “Yes they do. What length were you considering?”

“What length do you like?” I teased.

She chuckled as she said, “It has been many years since I have had the need for such a toy, but the women who come in here tend to like a couple different ones.” She grabbed a black one that was eight inches long and said, “This one is for deep penetration, but I am told, by some very reliable sources, that women love it, especially if it is turned on high.”

I grabbed the straps and wrapped it around my skirt. I asked, “Can you buckle it up for me?”

“Sure thing sweetheart” she responded and buckled me up. I was slightly disappointed that there was no sexual tension or teasing by her. Usually my flirting works on almost everyone. I decided I would have to turn on my charm.

I turned to Gwen and said, “So how do I look?”

Gwen stuttered and stammered questioningly, “Well, um, good?”

“Really, just good?” I teased feigning hurt feelings.

Gwen quickly reiterated, “Well great for a girl with a strap-on, but isn’t that way too big?”

“God no, I have had bigger cocks then this in me before. I won’t even fuck anybody less than 7 inches now-a-days and that is only if I am desperate to get off.” I paused, for dramatic effect, “Well that was the rule before I quit dating men and started fucking only women.”

Gwen looked bewildered and overwhelmed. I couldn’t tell if she was turned on by me or repulsed.

The British saleslady broke the tension by upping the erotic tension when she said, “On the other hand, if you are into butt play, a smaller, thinner strap-on is better.” She then handed me a pink cock.

I looked and said, “Good call, that eight inch would be too big for my ass, but this would fit snugly.”

Gwen stammered trying to get the words out, “You, you..”

I walked over to her and said astonished, “You have never had a cock in your ass? Ever?”

“God no,” she said.

“Ever?” I said trying to press her buttons by acting like it was the most natural sexual act in the world.

“No, I would never do that,” she said confidently.

I smiled and said, “Never say never, honey.”

I dropped it in the basket and took off the one on my waist and dropped it in the basket also.

The saleswomen then said, “We do have a brand new product that I think you will really like.”

“Do tell,” I responded curiously.

She handed me a pink strap-on cock that had a second plug for the woman wearing the strap-on. I looked at it and said, “Does it vibrate?”

“Both do,” she said and added, “The one could be in your vagina or butt while you pleasured your lover.”

“Really,” I said all excited.

“Yes, it is similar to the feeldoe, but this one vibrates and is cheaper.”

I looked at the price; the vibrating duel harness, as it was called, was only 60 bucks.

“Well, I think I will take this instead, um, what is your name?”

“Audrey,” she said.

“Well Audrey, you have been amazingly helpful,” I said as my hand gently caressed her arm.

“That is my job,” she joked. “Now I get the feeling that you have a bit of a domination streak in you, am I correct?”

“Well,” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I have a very unique item if you are into extreme power trips in the bedroom.”

“Do show?” I said.

She handed me a strange looking 6 inch long beige cock with a strap. I looked at her confused, “Another strap-on?”

She gave a soft sincere laugh as she said, “No, no, it’s called the Accommodator. You wrap it around your lover’s head and she can pleasure you with her face.”

The light bulb went on as I said, “I can have my slut just fuck me with a cock on her face.” Audrey shook her head yes and I said, “That is amazing.” I looked at it closer and said, “I need to see it on someone.”

I looked at Gwen and decided to test the water just a bit and asked, “Gwen will you audition it on for me.”

“Um,” she began awkwardly, but I just walked over and put it on her head.

“Wow, that is awesome,” I said. “I’ll take it.” I quickly took it back off her so as to not humiliate her too long and tossed it into the full basket. I then noticed a hilarious named anal toy the Rump Shakers Vibrating Butt Plug which was 5 inches long, an inch wide and a crazy inch and a half at the base. I had never had anything that wide in my butt, but maybe someday. Plus it came with a remote control.

I asked, “How far can one control the butt plug?”

Audrey said, “I am not sure, let me check.” She read the back of the box and after a minute or so said, “It doesn’t say.” With that, she opened the package and quickly inserted the batteries. She then handed me the plug. I turned it on. Audrey then used the remote to make it vibrate faster. With each speed she moved a few feet back.

“Wow”, I said, “it works from at least 20 feet, that would be handy?”

Gwen looked at me and said, “How?”

“Well say you have it in a girl’s butt and want to get her off, you can do it from across the room.”

Gwen sarcastic, for the first time today, said, “Well obviously, who wouldn’t need such a convenience.” But I saw her head spinning as she contemplated all she saw today.

I tossed it in the basket, smiling right at Gwen, and said, “Never know when this will come in handy. Audrey, which toy would be best for a girl who is always alone because her husband to be is always on the road?”

“Is she into kink?”

I looked at Gwen, “Are you into kink?”

“God no,” Gwen said astonished by the question.

“No,” I said to Audrey, who chuckled.

“Well then the we-vibe-2 is an amazing little toy that can be used by yourself, with a man or with a woman. It goes inside your vagina and the inside part vibrates hopefully hitting your g-spot while the outside vibrates on your clitoris.” She handed on to me.

“Wow it is small and light,” I said amazed for once myself.

“Yes, it is and you can have it inside you when you are being pleasured by a man’s penis or one of your,” pausing for effect, “special toys.”

“Nice,” I said. “Gwen, your engagement present from me is this.” I then tossed the small toy to her.

She caught it and looked at it closely. She turned it on and jumped a bit.

As she played with her toy, I whispered to Audrey, “I also need two jelly egg vibrators with remote.”

She smiled, seemingly knowing my future purpose for them, as she said, “I will add them to your things.”

“No, I am going to ask for one, but I need you to tell me that actually they are buy one, get one free. Of course, you can charge me for both.”

“I understand,” she said.

I leaned right into her ear, as I slipped her my card, “If you ever want to reminisce and relive your younger days with the toys give me a call.”

She smiled, her face blushed, as she whispered back, “You never know sweetie, I just may take you up on that offer.”

I nibbled on her ear briefly and said, “I would fuck you like no man ever has.” I then moved away before she could respond and asked no longer whispering, “Audrey to you have any jelly eggs?”

“Yes actually, and they are on sale. Buy one, get one free and they come with a remote control similar to the one for your butt plug.”

“Well Gwen today is your lucky day; besides your little vibe thing there, you get a free jelly egg.”

“What is a jelly egg?”

“It is a tiny little vibrating toy, shaped like an egg, that goes inside you and can tease and please you all day long,” I explained handing her an egg and taking the vibe from her.

“Oh,” she said, looking at the small egg.

“Thanks Audrey, I think that is all I can afford today.”

Audrey smiled and said, “Do you need any lube for the toys or anything?”

“No, no,” I replied, “I’ve got lots of lube.”

Audrey then took the basket and went to the till.

We followed and saw Audrey whisper something to her 18 year old employee. The young girl nodded her head in understanding.

I grabbed an anal starter’s kit for 10 bucks on my way to the till; hopefully something I could use on Gwen someday as well.

The brunette scanned all the items and then Audrey scanned her card and typed in 50%. I looked at her as she said, “You are now a gold card client.” She handed me a business card with her name on it, Audrey Murphy, and a cell phone number hand written, and continued, “You will always get 50% off anything you buy here. Call me anytime you need anything.”

“Anything?” I asked, “That is a pretty broad word.

She flirted with me for the first time as she stressed, “Anything.”

“Good to know and thank you very much, that is very sweet of you,” I thankfully responded playing on the word sweetheart, she had earlier called me when she had no idea what was about to happen to her.

I grabbed the bag, pulled out Gwen’s we-vibe, and the medium sized vibrator I had forgot to take out when we picked the other vibe. I kept the extra egg for a later seduction.

I handed them to Gwen, who sheepishly took them. Behind us we heard, “Gwen, Julia, how are you?”

I turned around to see our principal, Glenda White, with her husband. Gwen frantically pleaded to the teenager, “Please put these in a bag for me now.”

The teenager obliged and handed Gwen the bag. Glenda looked at my large bag and gave a smirk, but said nothing. We talked about nothing for a couple of minutes and then Gwen and I headed out.

I burst out laughing as soon as we exited the building, “What do you think old bag Glenda would be doing in a sex shop?”

Gwen just shrugged, still embarrassed from being seen in a sex shop.

“Probably buying a strap-on to fuck her husband with. I bet she wears the pants at home,” I vulgarly suggested.

Gwen just shook her head, used to my over-the-top commentary.

“Can you imagine, our principal wearing a strap-on…what a hoot,” I exclaimed still laughing hard.

We got in the car and headed back home relatively in silence.

As I dropped Gwen off I said, “Tell me how it works, I may have to get one of those myself.”

Gwen sighed slightly as she said, “I doubt I will try it tonight.”

I said, with just a bit of a dominant tone, “Oh you are using it tonight. I want details. I didn’t spend all that money for your new pleasure toy to sit in your nightstand.”

“Um,” she hesitated.

“No ums Gwen,” I said confidently, “Promise me you will use it tonight.”

“Fine,” she said, giving in like I thought she would, “I’ll use it on myself.”

“Good,” I said, “I want to know if I should get myself one, now that I have a fifty percent discount.”

Gwen shook her head, “How do you always get so lucky?”

I smiled, “You can get lucky like that too. Gwen, you just have to know how to talk the talk, flirt the flirt and flaunt the flaunt.”

Gwen began to get out of the car as I finished, “Tomorrow night, I am picking you up and we are going to Le Chateau Club.”

Gwen looked startled as she said, “The lesbian club?”

“Yep,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I can’t go there,” she began.

“I have gone with you on double dates with complete losers; the least you can do is go with me once to my favourite club.”

“Fine,” she said, which meant it wasn’t fine, but she would do it.

“What should I wear?”

“That red dress you wore at the Christmas party would work,” I answered as I blew her a kiss and got out of there before she had a chance to change her mind.