I went to class that morning in a bad mood. Some students in the apartment next to mine had decided to ring in the school year with a big bash and I had barely slept all night. At my polite request to keep the music down several drunken frat boys had urged me to join the party. I almost considered it but their leering gazes and sloppy attempts at flirtation made me a little sick and I withdrew. I had spoken to my mother the evening before and she had depressed me with her incessant talk of Scott, our rich neighbors son, who was in law school now. He and I had dated a little the previous year and my mom was just agog with the idea that we might be a match. He was a nice enough guy and I had let him fool around with me a little bit but the idea of being his girlfriend or wife somehow completely put me off. My mother refused to listen to me and persistently kept praising him: his looks, his wealth, the education he was getting. The effect of all that was simply to depress me. As I walked under the great oak trees on the lawn of our campus a light drizzle fell from a dark grey sky like the grey of the forbidding institutional stone building in which my first class was to take place. I walked in to the small room, looked around, saw no one I knew, removed the sociology text from my bag and began leafing through it. A couple of great yawns escaped me and I sucked greedily at the last dregs of my coffee.
I heard the click of heels authoritatively approaching the front desk. A boy sitting next to me let out a little gasp and something that sounded like "Daaamn!!" I looked up. A woman of about 30 was standing in front of the class. She had long jet black hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. She wore glasses and displayed a perfect set of pearly teeth. She was wearing a simple black skirt and a loose fitting white blouse. Her skin was perfectly white: firm and smooth. "Like a baby's skin" I thought to myself. The moment I laid eyes on her my heart began to quiver in my chest almost as if I was in the presence of danger. For a brief moment I felt the impulse to leave the classroom but the sound of her voice and her bodies insouciant movements as she prowled around her desk speaking to us about god knows what gave me an idea of her gentle goodness and her soft femininity. I wished she would go on speaking like that to us forever. The rest of the class passed in a blur. Scott called me that night. We talked and laughed. He could be a funny guy.
That Saturday I was bored and restless. I couldnt concentrate on schoolwork and as some of my girlfriends were clamouring to go out to the bars and meet some guys I decided to go with them.
It was Lora, Kayla, Sarah and myself. We had drank a little vodka and smoked some weed before leaving the dorm so we were all in a pleasant mood. The bar we decided on first was a little dive in a poorer neighborhood a few miles from campus. There were drink specials there and a dance floor. Many of the hipper artsier students liked to frequent the place. It was a beautiful late summer night cool and breezy. My girlfriends and I had dressed to the nines. I was wearing a black skirt with high boots leaving my legs around the knees bare and a silk blouse. My red hair was done up in pigtails. Sarah had given them to me as a kind of joke before we went out but they actually looked really cute. Men were all over us from the beginning but I got the most attention. Several times a guy would stop short when he caught his first glimpse of me, his jaw would drop a little and his eyes would get that glazed intent look. I knew I looked good and it gave me a sense of power that was very nice but at the same time annoying because it made me the subject of attentions that I had no intention of satisfying. Even my own friends sometimes remarked how they found me cold or even frigid and I had come to believe that a little myself.
I saw my gay friend Seth and wandered over to him glad to find someone to talk to while my girlfriends were dancing and flirting. I sat down with him and we gossiped about this and that. I mentioned something about our Sociology class and his face lit up with a gossipy brightness..."Did you see Ms. Xavier? She's here tonight! On the patio! She got into this huge argument with some chick earlier, she started crying and the girl left. Since then she's been nursing the same gin and tonic."
Curious, I went to have a look. Sitting all alone at a small table outside was Ms. X. She had dark mascara on that had run somewhat. Her long hair fell almost to the table at which she sat running her finger over the rim of a clear fizzy cocktail containing a small straw and a wedge of lime. She was wearing a beige tank top and matching skirt with leather pumps. Her legs were bare. I looked at her for a while, or rather I drank in the beauty of her paler than usual face smeared with black makeup as if she were some rare bird or precious jewel. She was deeply sad and I felt I wanted to drink that melancholy visage in. It was like being in the presence of a great painting that seems to offer inexhaustibly to the sensitive viewer multiple levels of sublime beauty. As if suddenly aware of something she looks up and our eyes meet. For a second they stay locked and neither of us moves. Then she smiles and I feel myself smiling back. After two or three seconds though the lovely but quotidian smile fades from her face and something pensive seems to enter in behind her eyes and to cloud them, the color drains a little more from her face and she bites her lower lip. I feel my body moving itself forward. I sit down with her.
"Havin a good time?"
"I guess so."
"Doesnt look like you are."
She considers that and says: "I just broke up with my girlfriend. It's been a rough night."
"Oh" At this admission of her sexuality something like a dam seemed to break in my soul. It was like having a dream where you're falling and then wake up suddenly in a panic.
"Is that OK with you?" she asked in a tender voice. I don't remember what I replied but it must have reassured her or else she read something in my face because she smiled and began to look a bit more cheerful.
We talked about school a little. Her voice had a husky velvety timbre; her mind was sharp and she had a razor-wit. I am very liberal but she made some comments about politics that shocked me a little with their radicalism. I found myself hanging on every word she said and when she spoke I fixated on her red lips as if I could witness the tangible words escaping from her. We had polished off a couple of cocktails when my drunken friends came to collect me.
"Goodbye, Ms. X it was nice talking to you." And we moved towards the door. They were in a raucous mood practically racing towards the door full of enthusiasm to get to the next nightclub. I tugged on Kayla's arm: "I'm not going, make some excuse for me will you?" She protested but gave up soon enough. Now my friends were gone and somehow this made the pounding in my heart intensify. I felt like the victim of some sacrificial rite ready to be hurled into the maw of an active volcano. I turned around, Ms. X was standing right there. "I thought you'd left?" she asked me. "I wanted to spend the night with you." I said. I saw that pensive cloud pass over her eyes, I saw her red lips become pale and her lovely mouth part slightly and I knew that I was falling into that volcano. And it was ecstasy.
She had a lovely house which was completely dark when we entered. As she turned on the lights and kicked off her pumps I already imagined what it would be like to enter this house a second or a third or a thousandth time. I loved the house because I already loved her. She told me to make myself comfortable. She was going to take a quick shower. I heard the water go on and the curtain slide on its rod and back again. She had left the door slightly ajar. What am I doing here? I felt like fainting. The blood seemed to have left my head, I was dizzy, and I felt that what my body was doing was being done in spite of me. My mind wanted to flee this place but was frustrated in advance. Something deeper animated me, something so powerful that I could but surrender. I took off my boots, I undid the pigtails from my hair. I entered the bathroom quietly and looked at myself in the mirror: There I am little Rachel Miles, still a schoolgirl. I watched myself as I removed my blouse and took off my bra. I admired my own breasts fondled them and slid my skirt and panties off. I looked at Audrey's discarded underthings and a sweet feeling of intimacy stole into me bolstering my courage. I slid back the shower curtain. I saw Audrey then naked for the first time: wet, glistening and glorious. She looked at me and her face showed not the least sign of surprise.
She turned fully to me showing me her large pale breasts. I gasped in awe and stepped boldly in. She put her hand to my face to draw it towards hers and our lips our breasts our loins were locked. I had often heard described by friends the great sexual affairs they had had. How being with a man had made them swoon and how they had plunged into this primordial esctasy where two become one etc. I thought it was all romantic nonsense. Not so. I felt it now. Our hands eagerly soaped each others ample curves. I sucked her tits while my hands kneaded her ass. She giggled a little then moaned with pleasure. We stroked each others cunts while looking at each other like hungry animals. Somehow we dried off and made our way to the bed. I lay down like a virgin bride while she slid on top of me, offering her pussy to my mouth while she began licking my own. We stayed locked in that 69 for a long time. I never knew that kind of pleasure before, I was eating my lover and I could hear her moans while at the same time her mouth seemed to be sucking untapped reserves of ecstatic pleasure from every nerve in my body. I could feel myself gushing out wave after wave and my own face was drenched. Finally with a sly look on her face she opens a bedside drawer and removes a fairly large strap-on dildo. "Now it is time to make you mine sweetheart!" and she laughed like a devil. I already felt that I was her slave and powerless to resist her least impulse. She mounts me like a man and starts fucking me and she leans over so that our tits are pressed together and we kiss while she pounds my pussy; better than the most ardent male lover could ever do. I hardly recognize the voice in which I speak to her...a husky broken croak of phrases like "Fuck me....i want you...i love you..."continually escapes me. Next I get on all fours. She asks me if I like ass-play. "Anything with you" I stammer out, almost tearful with joy. She gently explores my asshole with her tongue and fingers me there a little. The feeling of her penetrating me like this is too much and I gush all over again. After that I get on top and feel the impulse to grind my pussy into hers. We scissor fuck, our juices mingling together. The sight of her lying there mad with desire enflames me. We come endlessly and finally, exhausted, fall in each others arms.
Then it was that our lust little by little passed into the sweetness of love. Her soft body pressed next to mine, her sweet feminine scent and that look of devotion which already shone in her eyes convincing me of who I was and who I was to become. "Am I gay?" She laughed out loud. " I don't know sweetheart. Maybe. Just maybe." And we kissed again.
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/lesbian/a-sentimental-education.aspx">A Sentimental Education</a>