As Penny had requested, Sam and Anna remained seated quietly together, side by side, holding each others hand.

She wasn't gone long and soon returned carrying a tray containing a large cafetière of freshly brewed coffee, three cups and a plate of biscuits.

She placed them on the low table and very quickly each of them were holding a hot steaming mug.

Sam leaned forwards and poured a generous amount of milk into hers and five cubes of sugar.

She stirred her drink around and around absent-mindedly and then stopped suddenly, looking up as she became aware that both Penny and Anna were watching her intently.

“Oh, erm, sorry...” she began meekly, “I ,erm, I don't really like coffee...”

“Penny immediately looked aghast.

“Oh, crumbs, I'm sorry, Sam. Where on earth are my manners. I never thought about that as the two of us...” she indicated herself and Anna, “ We only drink coffee.”

She put her cup on the table and went to stand but Sam stopped her, putting out her hand.

“No, please Penny, It's alright, I don't mind it like this, honestly.”

Penny sat back again.

“Are you sure, I can make tea it's not a problem.”

Sam shook her head.

“No, it's fine, honestly.”

They all three sat quietly sipping their drinks, in their own way wondering what to say next but each of them glad of a moment to calm down and get a little control back into their souls.

It was Anna who broke the silence as she leaned forwards and placed her half empty mug on the table before her.

She turned to the pretty young woman at her side.

“Sam, you know I love you and that this was never just a whim, a desire.”

It was a statement rather than a question but nevertheless Sam had an idea what was coming and nodded, her heart beating heavily once more.

“But you also love your husband,” she said quietly, “I know.”

“I said before, Sam, my heart is broken and I can't fix it. What happened between us has totally destroyed my life. I have hurt you, I have hurt Philip, I have even hurt Penny, albeit to a lesser extent, and whatever happens from now will not change anything but I have to make a decision and goodness knows whether it will be the right one but I have to do it, I have to choose.”

“I know,” she whispered, “and I also know you will choose your husband. I am sorry I behaved the way I did and,” she looked at Penny, “that you had to come looking for me.”

Penny just smiled at her, silently accepting her apology.

“You are right though, Anna,” she continued, “You did hurt me but I accept that I am also to blame and I am truly sorry that my selfishness made this so difficult for you and I promise with all my heart that I will not cause you any more trouble but...”

She fell silent and lowered her eyes.

Anna began to worry at this 'but'.

“But?” she repeated Sam's last word.

Sam looked up again.

“What we did, making love and being in love has been the most wonderful and the hardest thing in my whole life.”

She looked at Penny then.

“I know I can't ever see Anna again, Penny but would it be possible, that is, would you mind...”

Again, she fell silent, not daring to ask.

Penny looked at her, uncertain.

“Well, I just wondered... would you let me know, from time to time, how she is. Anna is so precious to me and to just suddenly lose her...”

Penny softened and smiled.

“All right,” she said, “For a while at least.”

“Thank you,” Sam smiled sadly, “I will leave my email.”

They sat silently once again, the atmosphere around them heavy and unhappy.

Finally, Sam got to her feet.

“I must go,” she said.

|Anna pushed herself up.

“You do understand don't you, Sam?”

“That you cannot leave the man who until now has been your whole life?” she asked, “Yes, I understand.”

She stepped towards me and then stopped and just looked at me, uncertain and unhappy, tears welling again in her eyes.

I leaned forwards the last few inches and kissed her gently.

“I'm sorry, Sam. Truly I am.”

“I know. Anna,” she replied, “So am I.”

She turned away then and took a few steps towards the door and then stopped and turned back.

“I love you, Anna,” she whispered, the tiny droplet leaving her eye and rolling down her beautiful cheek as she uttered the words.

“I love you too, Sam,” I replied, the words with so much meaning barely able to pass my lips.

Penny put her arms around me as the front door closed with a click.

“All right?” she said, her own eyes moist.

“No...” my voice cracked and tremulous.

“Do you want to go home?” she asked and I shook my head slowly.

“I don't know know what I want,” I whispered, “I feel so... so... empty...”

“Do want to lie down for a while?”

I shrugged and remained still.

All feeling had left me. I was totally numb inside with no idea of what to do or where to go.

She looked at her watch,

“I think that I had better get you home,” she said. “We have been here for over two hours and Philip must be wondering what is happening by now.”

“What am I going to do, Penny?” I looked up at her. “I have ruined everything.”

“Hey now, Anna. You mustn't think that way. You still have Philip and Sam is young. She will hurt for a while but she will be all right I'm sure.”

“My life was perfect before,” I continued, talking more to myself than to her. “I had everything. I loving and faithful husband, s good job and I had to destroy it all and for what? A few hours with a pretty young girl.”

“I don't think it was quite like that Anna.”

Penny sat beside me,

“You were missing something. Something that Philip couldn't give you.”

I stared at her, thinking hard.

“So why was I not attracted to you then? If I needed to sleep with a woman, why not you? You are almost as close to me as Philip is, you are like a sister to me.”

“Ah well, there you have it,” she smiled, “I am like a sister to you, as you are to me. Would you have been attracted to Philip if he was your brother?”

“I see what you are saying,” I squeezed her hand and smiled, “You are right, of course.”

“Come on,” she whispered, “Let's get you home.”

I went to the bathroom and tidied myself up. The make-up was easy to fix but the watery, bloodshot eyes were not so. Nevertheless, some thirty minutes later we arrived at my front door.

I called out as I opened it, letting Philip know that I was home but I was greeted by silence.

I called out again.

Still nothing.

I looked at Penny who returned my stare.

“Maybe he has gone for a walk,” she offered, “To clear his head. He can't be far, he hasn't taken his car.”

We went into the kitchen and I put my handbag on the table, reached in and took out my phone to call him.

It only took a moment to find his number from the history list and seconds later I got the dialling tone.

Almost immediately I heard the familiar sound of his ring tone. His mobile was on the worktop along with his car keys!

Once again, I looked at Penny, fear firmly gripping my heart.

“Where the hell is he without his car or phone?” I asked shakily.

“Hey, calm down,” she said. “As I said before, he's probably gone to clear his head.”

“No,” I replied slowly, “No, he never goes anywhere without his phone. Something is wrong!”

“Maybe he is taking a nap,” Penny ventured trying her damnedest to calm me, “I will go and see.”

Whilst she went to look I went to the cupboard and took out a glass and poured a generous amount of Cognac into it.. The heat as it hit my throat almost choked me but I swallowed and felt the warmth dissipate inside of me, creating a sort of calming sensation.

I took another mouthful, wincing again and was taking a third when Penny re-appeared holding a bunch of keys.

“Anna?” she said, puzzled, “What are you doing?”

“Brandy,” I simply replied and took another mouthful, draining the glass.

“But it is barely Two O'Clock...”

“I needed something. I take it he is not upstairs,” I said, looking at the keys in her hand.

“Erm, no. these were on the bedside table. Not yours I imagine?”

“Obviously,” I answered tetchily, “I let us in with mine!”

We stood for a moment, unsure of what to do next.

I grabbed the bottle.

“Anna, no!” Penny gripped my wrist, “That is not the answer!”

I stared at her, eyes narrowing.

“It worked for you didn't it?” I replied viciously and the shock on her face was instant.

“Anna... I...”

“Oh Hell, Penny, I'm so sorry...”

I released my grip on the Brandy and she let go of my wrist.

“I'm so, so sorry,” I repeated, seeing the hurt I had caused with my nasty reply.

“Anna, I know how you are feeling but please don't be like I was. Heaven knows I deserve it after the way I treated you all those years ago but please, don't go down that road.”

“I don't know what else to do, Penny.”

She put her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

“As you were here for me,” she whispered, “So I am here for you. You don't have to face this alone.”

“I don't know what I would do without you,” I whispered into her neck.

A loud banging on the front door made us both jump and look at each other. The second knock prompted Penny to go quickly to answer it.

My heart was in my mouth, what if it was the Police to tell me that something had happened to Philip!

Penny re-appeared at the kitchen door, grim faced but said nothing and seconds later Philip appeared behind her looking rather sheepish.

I stared at him for a moment and then couldn't contain myself.

“Where the hell have you been?” I demanded, “I was worried sick!”

“I went out to get some milk,” he replied, “I forgot my keys...”

I hobbled over to him as fast as my plastered leg would let me and threw my arms around him.

“I thought you were gone,” I sobbed into his shoulder.

I felt his arms envelope me and stroke my hair.

Then he sighed.

“Wouldn't it be better for you if I was?” he asked.

I froze and then stepped back to look at him.

“Is that what you really think?”

He didn't answer but hung his head.

“You do think that...” I gasped. “It would be better for me if I didn't love you so much.”

“Love me?” he replied, anger suddenly filling his eyes. “Love me so much. How can you say that? If you loved me we wouldn't be in this mess!”

“What?”

I couldn't believe my ears.

“If I didn't love you, don't you think it would be a hell of a lot easier?”

I vaguely heard the front door click quietly closed as Penny left us to work this out alone.

“It wasn't me who cheated, Anna. I didn't slip between the sheets with someone behind your back.”

I opened my mouth to protest but he continued his angry tirade.

“Don't even think to excuse what you did! I may not be the same as a woman between the sheets but I honestly thought I was enough for you. I would never have done that to you, never!”

I just stood and took it all, my jaw wide open as he went on.

“Even now you have been gone for well over two hours. What the Hell have you been up to? How long does it take to tell someone it's over, huh?”

I stared at him, feeling as though he had just slapped my face.

“What do you think then, hey? Do you think I should have just said, 'Bye, Sam. Nice knowing you'?”

“I don't care what you said!” his face was deep red now and his voice raised and angry. “All I know is that we are through! You have destroyed what I at least thought was the perfect marriage. I thought we had everything we wanted but obviously you didn't, still don't, it would seem!”

“I said goodbye to her, Philip. It is over, I promise you. She was upset and I couldn't just let her go, not without making her see that it is you that I want to keep.”

He glared at me for a moment or two and then turned away.

“It's too late...” he whispered.

“What? What do you mean, too late, too late for what?”

“It's over, Anna,” he said quietly. “What we had is gone, lost forever. It cannot be fixed.”

“Philip. What are you saying?”

My heart was in my mouth.

“I am going, leaving. You can keep the house, I don't want it. It was built from love and without that love it is worthless to me.”

The room began to swim and I felt light headed and vague.

“You can't mean it, Philip, please...”

“I do, Anna. You gave me plenty of time to think this morning. I didn't trust you over there, wondered what you were doing with her. I can't live like that. If I cannot trust you then I have nothing, don't you see?”

I felt my knees going weak and trembling with fear so I sat slowly down on the nearest dining chair. My breaths were short and fast and I couldn't think straight.

“So... that's it then? You don't even want to try to rebuild it?”

Philip shook his head sadly.

“You were the love of my life, Anna...”

“So not any more then?” I asked him.

“Oh, yes, Anna, you still are but the spell is broken, what we had is broken. It can never be the same again and I am not sure that I can live with that.”

I stared at him, begging him,

“Please, Philip. Please don't go. There is no-one who can make me feel the way you did... do.”

My husband looked at me sadly.

“No, Anna, you were right first time when you said, 'the way I did' but you found someone and it wasn't just the sex. I think I could have forgiven that. I realise that I can not give you the same things that she does, after all, I am just a man but it went deeper with you didn't it?”

I opened my mouth to protest but I knew he was right. There was no point in denying it.

I closed my mouth and lowered my head.

“So what happens now then?” I asked. “I have told Sam that it is over, that I could never give you up in favour of her, I... I just don't know what else I can do...”

We sat and looked at each other for a moment, the silence broken only by the sound of our breathing.

“Look, it's not fair that you should give up your home because of what I did. I will go. I can stay with my Mum until we sort something out but please, Philip, don't write us off yet, don't give up on us... Please?”

I gripped his arm but he dragged it sharply away as though he couldn't bear for me touch him.

Seeing the pain in his eyes was killing me and I knew that it that the love I had felt for Sam was not worth what I had done to him.

At that moment the only sensation I had was hatred and loathing and it was all directed at myself!

Philip looked at me again.

“I can't stay here, Anna, you will always be here even when you are not. The house is full of the things we have bought together, reminders of the life we shared together. Every room, every corner, you are there, d'you see?”

I nodded.

“Yes,” I whispered, “I do but I can't manage alone until my ankle is healed so I will still have to go to my Mum's.”

“Oh... oh yes, your ankle,” he replied, half to himself, “I had forgotten about that.”

He seemed to be lost in thought briefly as he looked down at my cast and rubbed his chin.

“Hmmm...” he said at last, “No, you are right, I can't leave you alone can I?”

“Oh... oh no... no, Philip, no!” I gasped, “You can't stay with me like a prisoner, trapped by my disability, that really would be unthinkable!”

He sighed and looked at me.

“The trouble is, Anna, I still love you more than anything in the whole world. I can't leave you like this.”

He reached out and touched the bruise on my forehead.

It hurt a little and I winced but the touch of his fingers on my tender flesh was like the touch of an angel and the small amount of pain was far, far outweighed by his tenderness and |I raised my hand and took hold of his, moving around to my cheek.

“I'll sleep in the spare room,” he said, removing his hand from mine but not immediately, not like he had earlier.

“Oh, well, no!” I began. “There is no need...”

“There is less of us in there,” he said, pre-empting my protest. “There is still a lot of 'you' in there but not 'us' if you see what I mean.”

I sighed and breathed out slowly with resignation.

“Yes,” I agreed, “I do.”

Once again I felt horrible, like I was making him stay against his will but at least it would give us a chance to talk and, hopefully, to move on, preferably together.

I hoped against hope that that Sam would be all right and leave us alone to rebuild the wreckage of what had once been the perfect life.

The trouble was that I had tasted the forbidden fruit and I liked it. I had chosen the path I wanted to take but it was not going to be easy.

I didn't give up on Sam because I wanted to but because I had to and I now had to take those desires and, yes, the love, for that is what it truly was, and lock them away deep inside me, never again to let them rise to the surface.