When Gillian threw the door open, I was surprised to see that she was naked.    I knew we’d probably spend the day by the pool nude but she still took my breath away when I saw her first.

            “Hey,” she said enthusiastically.   “Come on in.”   I followed her into the kitchen.   “I was just making some daiquiris.   I know it’s still a little early, but would you like one?”             I hesitated.   “I guess… I mean, what’s in it?”             “Oh, right.   You’ve lived a sheltered life and haven’t drank much.   Just try it.”   She filled a glass straight from the blender, than handed it to me.   “It tastes like strawberries, but it has a little alcohol in it.”                 I took a sip.   “Whoa.   This is good.”   I took another drink.   “By the way, I have not lived a sheltered life.”   I probably sounded more defensive than I wanted, but the truth was that she had irritated me.             “I didn’t mean to offend you, but what would you call it?”             Well, she had me there.   My silence was an answer enough for her.             “I remember when we first met at Memphis University , you would sit in the front of the class, never look around and never speak unless spoken to.   And sometimes not even then.”             “Well, I guess I was still in my shell back then.   Maybe I’m coming out of it now.   I mean, I am drinking this fine alcoholic beverage which you gave me.”   I lifted the glass to my mouth and took a large taste.               I couldn’t help it.   The thought of Ray popped into my head.   I wondered what he was doing.   Had he picked Jane up for their date yet?   I shook the thought off and took another swallow from my second daiquiri.   I was lying in a floating lounge chair in Gillian’s pool.   She had gone inside to get another drink.               When she came out, she said, “Look at you lying over there, so beautiful, so free.   It feels good, doesn’t it?”             “It feels great,” I replied, watching her slip into the water.   She put her glass on the side of the pool and waded over to my chair.   She reached out and grabbed the side so I wouldn’t float away.             “So tell me then, what’s wrong?”             I did the first thing that came to mind.   I denied everything.   “I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”             “Stacie, don’t lie to me.”             I looked at her for a long time.   She looked wonderful standing there in the waist deep water, her body hard and wet.   Her hand was almost touching mine.   I suddenly felt a nervous tension in my belly.             “I know what you need,” she said.               “Oh, you do.   And what’s that?”             “Another drink, of course.   Be right back.”             I watched her climb out of the pool and retreat into the house.   Then I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift away.   A light breeze caressed my body.   I was feeling light headed.   It was a pleasant feeling that somehow, nothing mattered right now.   Everything was fine.   My worries were gone if only for a little while.                 Suddenly Gillian rolled right off the chair and into the water.   I had been so relaxed I may have been close to falling asleep, but now I was wide awake.   Gillian was laughing.             “Gillian?”             She came over to the side of my chair.   “Yes?” she replied in mock seriousness.             I rolled off the chair and brushed against her body as I did so.   I jumped straight up out of the water hooting with glee.   Without aforethought, I jumped on Gillian pulling her under the water before regaining my footing.   She retaliated by grabbing me by the neck and pushing me under again.             Then she lifted me up.   Now we were standing on the tips of our toes in shoulder deep water with our hands around one each others waist.   She was looking at me with a serious expression on her face.   “You’re gorgeous,” she said.   Before I could reply, she pushed me under the water and swam off toward the shallow section.             I swam after her.   We stood up at the edge of the pool and laughed.               “It’s been a long time since I laughed like this,” I said.

            “Laughing is good for you,” she said, pushing her hair back.   “Keeps you young.”             “You’re beautiful, too,” I said.   “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”             “You’ve been playing it off well,” she replied.   She reached out and touched my face with her hand.   My knees felt like they were going to give out.   Then she moved her hand down my neck to my breast.   My nipples were hard with her touch.   Without a word, our mouths found one another in the hot, afternoon sun.             “I’m so turned on,” I moaned, the sound of my voice almost foreign to me.             “I am, too, love.   I am, too,” she said.             It seemed like we kissed for an hour, holding our bodies tight.   Our hands were on each other’s hips as our golden bodies touched.   Her lips were soft and sweet.   Her tongue was gentle in my mouth.   It felt good, it felt right.               “How far do you want to go?” she asked softly.             “All the way,” I heard myself reply.               We climbed out of the pool and walked toward the house holding hands.   Still dripping wet, we went to the couch.   We sat side by side and kissed again.   My hands were on her knees as she moved her hands down to my breasts.               “I’ve never done this before,” I whispered, feeling jittery sensations throughout my body.   She put a finger on my mouth.   No need for words.   She started kissing my neck, then moved down my body to my breasts.   I stroked her hair as she delicately kissed each nipple.             A nervous joy was flowing through me as her mouth went over my stomach slowly, then found my pubic hair.   She was on the floor now with her head between my legs.   I rubber her hair with one hand, then fondled my breasts with the other.   She kissed the inside of my thighs, then began kissing my vagina, darting her tongue in and out.               I came fantastically, loudly.   I grabbed clumps of her hair as my head rocked back and forth.   It was the first time I had ever had an orgasm that wasn’t by my own hand.   She stood up, then leaned over me, her breasts swaying in my face.   I took one in each hand, caressing it lightly, then leaned up and took a nipple in my mouth.   She got on top of me, rubbing her pelvis into mine as we kissed.             Then we lay side by side on the couch, rubbing each other’s side, kissing lightly, looking into each other’s eyes.   She could tell how nervous I was, so she held me until we fell asleep.               I didn’t know where I was when I woke up.   It was dark, and the moonlight reflected off of Gillian’s face.   I remembered everything with a flush of joy.   Then I became alarmed.   What time was it?   I looked around for a clock.   It was only a little after nine, but I had meant to be home by now.               I found my clothes and hurriedly put my shirt and shorts on.   I’d carry my shoes with me.   I kissed Gillian on the forehead, then quietly left the house.   I cranked the car up and shortly was on the interstate headed back to Memphis .   I felt better than I had in a long time.   The only guilt I felt was that I had not made Gillian feel as good as she had made me feel.   I wanted to know how it had felt when she went down on me.             I had lived a sheltered life.   No one had ever gone down one me before.   Gregg had never liked to touch me down there.   He thought it was a sin to give or receive oral sex.   I had never understood that.   Frankly, I had never understood the hang up most people have about sex.   It was a gift.   But most people shunned their fantasies and desires away.             It had been a wonderful day.   I remembered how it felt to have her nipples in my mouth, to kiss her on the lips.    I reached inside my shorts.   My panties were probably still on the floor in Gillian’s living room.   I was wet down there.   I thought about slipping out of my clothes.   It was dark.   No one would see me.             Getting out of the shorts was easy.   I just put the car on cruise, then slid them off with one hand.   The shirt was a little harder to get out of.   I had to steer with one knee and for a minute, the shirt covered my face.   I cut the dashboard lights all the way down, still a high from the days events.   Now I rolled down all the windows in the car and let the warm air come in as I did 80 down I-40.             I had wanted to stay with Gillian.   It felt nice to wake up in her arms and it would have felt nicer to fall back asleep in them.   But my life wouldn’t allow that.   I had to sneak in these times, I realized.   I didn’t have to pretend I didn’t feel them.   Being married was not a good reason to shy away from the person I wanted to be.   It had been an excuse not to live the life I wanted.   I should have known better, I thought to myself.   I had buried my feelings and desires for too long.   That would stop now, I told myself.   Then I felt something on my finger.   It was weird, like there was a growth there.   It was my wedding band.   I stared at it for a long time.   Then I simply took it off and put it in the ash tray.   That was that.