Another Fucked Up Day in Paradise

The worst day in my life came this afternoon at 12:34.

It started with him leaving and slamming the front door,

I heard his tires screeching and burning rubber down the driveway.

He couldn’t leave faster enough, he said, earlier that day,

As I watched, his car turn left and then it disappeared.

I said out loud, “Good riddance,” and didn’t shed a tear.

‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,’ was an expression I knew,

Well, whoever the hell wrote it, didn’t have a fucking clue.

Our backyard has a fire pit and I lit it to get it hot.

And I picked a daisy, pulling the petals, he loves me not,

Fury ran through the house like a demon from below,

Grabbing everything that he left and carrying it in tow.

The fire was blazing, the olive branch broken, gone was the love...

So into the fire went a personally signed Mickey Mantle baseball glove,

Next there were his keepsakes he gathered from lands far away.

(This is going from my worst to a really spectacular day.)

Burning everything that he left gave me more joy than I could bear.

All’s fair in love and war; if he wanted them, he shouldn’t have left them here.

He threw our love away like the trash, so I never mattered at all.

Oops, he left his credit card; I’m going shopping at the mall!