Here we go again. The never ending wave of emotions. The good and the bad. All living at the edges of this little thing we call life. But today it seeps into me. Making it hard to breathe. Gasping and trying to hold it all back. Hide it from you again. Looking at you with eyes so full of tears they overflow but you continue to just watch. Looking into your bewildered face, Did you not know this was how I was feeling? How could you not see it? Every moment cherished. Every moment remembered. A kiss, the gentle press of your lips against mine.
With every moment I showed it. In this moment you have shown you never did. So where do we go? We run of course isn't that what we do each time when things get rough? But no matter what I say. you tell me you're sorry and that you will leave. It makes my tears run so freely So you leave.
And then there is just me sitting here. With this old blanket, that's covered in your smell. No longer crying. No more tears. No more emotions. Just thoughts, lots of them. Nothing that can be explained or written. Flashes of laughter, of happy times. All of them like a bad movie playing out in my own private theatre.
Nothing drowns them out,They haunt me. My body has become just a shell, you reduced me down to my lowest level the worst form of myself. The self conscious child I once was. But I survive this time. Somehow things move on.
I repair, lean on my friends. Finish with you. And focus on me. Breathe. It's hard but easy. The weight has been lifted The peace flows through me. I am myself again.
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