Despite all of the evidence
Like cream inside her underpants
She remains technically pure

She remains technically pure

Of the sex act she is wary
Though she’d long since lost her cherry
And she does experiment.

Yes, she does experiment.

She may put naughty stuff up her twat
Massive, phallic and often very hot.
But never a man’s penis

No, never a man’s penis

She might have been a cum-slut,
Or bitch who takes toys up the butt,
Or perhaps a lesbian.
Or ‘bi’ who prefers women

Now her claims to being virginal,
While they may not seem original,
Depends on what is sex
Of how you define 'sex'.

For surely there is precedent
Established by a president
That blow jobs are not sex.
They’re fun, but are not sex.

And the fact that she is famous
For taking cocks up her anus
Does not mean she’s impure
For offering her back door.

So in spite of all temptations
To indulge in sex deviations,
She remains technically pure.

On a technicality she's pure.

Some may think it a depravity
To stuff things in every cavity.
But it can not be called sin,
For it brings much joy within.