Hurt Words

I thought of you today.
First time in a while,
I’m sorry to say
But I finally thought today

I looked for you
And found you had gone
No words, nothing.
It was silly to expect more.

But I still find myself
Thinking of our chats
And 'that'
But also the hurt.

I find myself wishing,
Praying almost
That less words had been said...
That I had hidden some things from you.

But would that have been true?
I had a lover
And it wasn’t you.
What more was there to say?

But I found myself
Thinking back
Wondering if it would help
If I said I fell in love?

That man that I left you for
I love him,
Honestly and completely,
In all the ways you loved me.

But your curse continues
He doesn’t love me.
I’m sure you would say
That is what I deserve.

Would you take joy in
My love wretched soul
Joining those in hell?
Would you?

Or would you take pity,
Where I didn’t
And just rip it out
Completely?

I wondered today, if
We had continued
Where would we be.
Sitting together?

Or fighting more.
For these questions
I will get no reply,
You will never know,

Your hurtful words worked.
I will never forgive myself.