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Lament of a Man in Pain

Tags: heartache
A poem I wrote when I was between relationships, trying to decide how to handle the transition


Whatever I do, Wherever I go,
Someone I love, or someone I know,
Gets hurt, by me, so what can I say?
When my every move, and my every way
Is painful to Someone.

I wish that I could be the good man,
That people around me keep saying I am.
I don't see how it could be that they see,
What I can't see, a way that I can be.
It's not who I am.

Why should I try, to love anyone,
When there is no way I can love only one.
No one understands these feelings I feel,
They simply assume that they cannot be real.
Yet I feel they are.

Perhaps I should go far away from here,
I hear that the forest, is real nice this year.
The animals there won't misunderstand,
When they see the person that I really am.
But I'm stuck here.

The city isn't very nice,
To guys whose emotions never could,
Be seen by the girls they love.
So until I return to heaven above,
I'm doomed to live in Hell.

Maybe someday I'll find hope,
A way to heal, A way to cope.
When pain won't be my daily fate,
And I won't always have to wait,
For a way to live my life.

A sensitive guy is hard to accept.
Some say that I'm gay, for that I have wept.
Others think I am insincere,
And that is even harder to hear.
What am I to do?

I guess I'll simply wait and see,
If things might just work out for me.
I'll try not to hurt, I'll attempt to heal,
The pain I have made others feel.
Though I fear it will be too late.

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Comments(4)

Aquafalcon
Posted 24 Aug 2013 14:45
I ended up realizing that I couldn't make it work with either of them, but I am seeking a polyamorous relationship with people that can make it work.
testingwaters
Posted 10 Aug 2013 17:34
I understand the feeling, and I also believe that it is real.
Aquafalcon
Posted 13 Oct 2012 12:18
Oh I eventually did figure it out. I now believe that it is perfectly acceptible to be in love with two women at the same time, but only if the two are both okay with that. These two weren't entirely, but they did try to be for a little while, gotta give them credit for that. They are both friends now, but nothing more. I actually wrote this about four years ago around the time my marriage ended. I wrote it while I was in the midst of the terrible pain described here, it was an attempt to communicate that pain and emotion to the two women involved. At first they weren't too impressed, but then they ended up understanding that I hadn't meant to hurt either of them, it just happened that way. In the future I'll be more careful and be sure that if I find something like this happening, I should say something about it, instead of trying to fight it on my own, and hopefully something can be worked out. Ideally I might end up with someone that would be okay with this, if not, then I'll have to be okay with choosing before it gets that deep.
winter67
Posted 12 Oct 2012 07:53
Wow! Well written. I can feel the pain in your words. I think we have all been there a time or two.
 

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