Like many men my age I'm a proud grandfather of six and I indeed love them all and my ex wife was a loving, beautiful woman and still is.

We raised four great kids together, but there is a part of me none of them knows about and it goes back many years.

I go back to high school when I was extremely shy around girls. I wasn't, however shy around guys. I was a good athlete, tall and in great shape. I played ball, wrestled and ran track. I wasn't attracted to other guys in the least and I was very attracted to girls, but shyness was paralyzing and caused me far to much anxiety. It became so paralyzing that I was unable to speak to girls other than my mother and sisters. As a result I was teased relentlessly by classmates to the point I became violent and left several guys in school with bloody noses and black eyes. Back in those days we often got in fist fights with nobody running home for guns. If you crossed someone and went over the line you either defended your stance or you took your lumps.

Anyway as school became more of a distraction because of my shyness, I finally dropped out and went on my way. I was still attracted to girls, their bodies, their delicate features, softness, the wonderful scents and so on, but my shyness always held me back from ever so much as touching a girl, much less having sex with one, and in no certain terms I wanted to have sex with girls.

Some time after I left school I wanted to travel, but having little money I decided that hitch hiking would get me where I wanted to go, out west to mountains and eventually to California and the ocean. I was still a virgin and the only sex I had experienced to this point was with Johnson & Johnson's hand lotion, which wasn't really all that fulfilling, but over the years has been a nice stand-in when human companionship has been scarce.

Be that as it may as a young man in the peak of life I set out to see the world. My body was fit, tall, strong and I feared no man. I did still fear females.

I recall it was a hot evening after a summer storm. It had rained just enough to get my body damp, but not drenched. I had spent a long day walking with my heavy backpack loaded with camping gear, clothing and assorted junk I had collected along the way. That day had been a scorcher so my sweat had begun to ferment on me and my clothes were filthy with a combination of road grime, sweat and damp heat. I was tired and hungry, but as I reached into my pocket I also realized I was broke.

I looked across the freeway at the restaurants on the other side and sighed. I would have to find somewhere to go fishing tomorrow if I wanted to eat. I thought of pitching camp, but looking around there was nothing but flat, wet ground. I decided to keep going till first light to find a place to camp and fish for breakfast.

I stuck my thumb out at the passing cars and trucks, but nothing was happening. I slung my pack to the ground, leaned it against a guard railing and just waited. Back then, unlike now I often went several days on end with no sleep so this was no big deal at the time.

I thought about home, my family, my dog back home, but mostly like most guys at that age I thought about sex I had never had, but wanted.

I watched a passing car lazily roll by as the driver looked my way, but it drove on. Then as I looked at the tail lights drift away I saw them become bright and the car made a U-turn and headed back towards me. I didn't think much of it at the time, but as it passed again the driver was once again looking at me, then he turned around once more, then stopped in front of me. It was a bright red Ford station wagon and the driver appeared to be in his thirties. He smiled as he lowered the passenger window.

"Hey, need a ride?" He opened the door.

"Sure. Hang on a second," I answered as I stood lifting my backpack. I stowed my pack in the back seat and got in the car.

He seemed like a pleasant guy, well groomed wearing a suit and tie. He had dark features, a thin mustache and a thin smiling face.

"Where you heading?"

"Nowhere in particular. I'm heading west."

"Go west young man. You hungry?"

"Sure. I haven't eaten today."

"Cool. I live just a little way over there." He pointed across the freeway. "I was just heading home if you want. I'll cook us a steak, you can get a shower if you want and spend the night too if you're tired."

"Sounds good." He kept looking at me like nobody had before which made me somewhat uncomfortable, but he looked harmless enough and even if he had some evil in mind I kept a six inch hunting knife on my left side.

"Nice knife." He noticed it in the leather sheath. "What brand is it?"

"It's hand made. A friend of my brother made it out of car spring. Handle is stag."

"Well, you won't need to use it on me. I'm harmless enough." He kept smiling, looking between the road and me. He pulled off the highway and into a large motel parking lot. "This is home for now anyway."

"You live here?"

"For now I do. I do engineering work so I live out of suitcases."

I followed him up a flight of stairs to a nice, spacious room.

It was well furnished with a small kitchen, a small uncomfortable looking couch, side chairs and a large bed in the middle.

As soon as we went in he went into the bathroom and in a few minutes came back out wearing a tshirt and dark blue silk boxer shorts. "Go ahead and grab a shower. I'll fix us something to eat. There's a robe in the bathroom you can wear while I have your clothes washed if you want."

"That sounds great. I appreciate that. All my stuff is dirty. I've been traveling a while now." The truth is I stank and a shower along with clean clothes was too much to turn down.

He followed me to the bathroom and I handed him my dirty clothes and noticed him smiling at my crotch, but being young and inexperienced I didn't think much about it. I stepped in the shower and washed my body well, washed my long hair then stepped out as he again stood there to hand me a towel.

"You have a great body. I bet you get laid a lot." That caught me off guard and I blushed slightly.

"Not really," I said. "I'm kind of shy."

"Well, relax. Dinner's ready and your clothes are being washed. The robe is here." He held it open for my arms, watching me.

"Thanks," I said then followed him to the couch where two plates sat on a coffee table. I quickly scarfed down the tough steak and nuked potato then leaned back when his hand first touched my knee.

"Do you want to make fifty bucks?" 

My mind raced, but inexperience taught me little except defense, but at that moment I didn't feel defensive and I liked the guy. "Doing what?" I knew the answer, but needed to know.

"Just lean back, relax and let me suck your cock and drink your hot jizz."

I was unsure how to answer him. I needed money and the thought of getting my dick sucked excited me in ways that to this day I fail to find words for. Instead I said nothing, but moved his hand further up my leg till his hot fingers found my parts. The tingling sensations when he cupped my balls was great, but even better when he knelt to his knees between my legs and I felt his hot, wet tongue touched my cum sacks made me moan softly and part my knees wide to give him full access. He ran his tongue slowly from my brown butt bud to my balls leaving my cock waiting and eager. He sucked long and soft on each nut, probed my ass deep with his tongue and raked the sides of the insides of my legs where they meet my balls then looked up at me.

"I love your balls and cock. Lay down on the bed."

I climbed on the soft bed as he peeled off his shirt then boxers, exposing his swollen hard cock. He then climbed between my legs and continued to lavish my balls with his wet, hot mouth still leaving my swollen member feeling like it would explode. I looked down to see the stream of precum pouring from my opening, then he slowly ran his tongue from my ass across both balls then up the bottom of my hard shaft. The feeling is indescribable so I won't try, but when his soft lips finally took my spongy helmet in I lost all control, filling his gums with all I had. I felt my body twitch and squirm attempting to escape the spasms after shooting my load, but he kept me buried to the root, sucking me dry and from rock hard to soft and back to rock hard again. Finally he released me and held my rigid rod in his hand stroking softly. He then lay beside me.

"Damned. You had a huge load. When was the last time you got that big dick sucked?"

"Never. That felt great." I glanced to see his boner sticking straight up and decided to feel it. It was nothing like feeling my own cock. It felt softer and bigger and in fact it was by a bit then I slid down and ran my tongue along his shaft, watching it jump to my touch, then I buried it in my own mouth. I still don't know why other than wanting to return the pleasure I felt, but it was so soft and salty to me, I enjoyed the feeling and taste in my mouth. I still don't know if my mouth watered more or if his precum did it, but it felt liquid and hard at the same time. He pulled me on top of him so we could suck each others cocks 69 position. From that angle his cock felt inches longer in my throat and I was able to take him completely in. I enjoyed the slight musty scent of his balls and sucked each in return, then took his rod back in. My mouth was filled with acidic, salty goo that I swallowed and that set my cum sacks off and I unloaded my second load.

"That was worth extra last night," he told me the next morning. I felt refreshed and ready to hit the road. My clothes were clean, my body was rested then he handed me a wad of twenties totaling $300. Not bad for a night's work prostituting myself. I received a great deal of pleasure and got paid for it and that would not be the last time in my life I was paid well to get my dick sucked or to suck a dick.

As years went by shyness faded when I discovered alcohol to numb that pain and managed to talk to women and today have no problems, but shyness is still there, just not overwhelmingly. I'm an old man now and not very attractive to men or women, but I still fantasize about both and who knows, I may someday find a new love be they man or woman. Even old men need love.