Latest Forum Posts:

Categories

Not Green Eggs or Ham

Tags: poem, funny
A naughty re-write of a well-known children's novel.
I am Pam.

I am Pam,
Pam I am.

That Pam-I-am,
That Pam-I-am!
I really like 
that Pam-I-am.

Do you like,
the taste of cum?

I do not like the taste of cum,
For me the taste, it is no fun.

Would you like it in your mouth?

I would not like it in my mouth,
I would not like it further south.
I do not like the taste of cum,
For me the taste, it is no fun.

Would you like it on your tits?
Would you like it on your bits?

I would not like it on my tits,
I would not like it on my bits.
I would not like it in my mouth,
I would not like it further south.
I do not like the taste of cum,
For me the taste, it is no fun.

Would you eat it while watching tele?
Would you eat it on top of jelly?

Not watching tele.
Not eating jelly.
Not in my mouth.
Not further south.
Not on my tits.
Not on my bits.
I would not eat one ounce of cum.
There is no chance, so kiss my bum.

Would you? Could you?
On a plane?
Eat it! Eat it!
Balls to drain.

I would not,
could not,
on a plane.

You may like it,
you will see.
You may like it,
on a quay?

I would not, could not on a quay.
Not on a plane! You let me be.
I do not like it watching tele.
I do not like it eating jelly.
I do not like it in my mouth.
I do not like it further south.
I do not like it on my tits.
I do not like it on my bits.
I do not like the taste of cum,
For me the taste, it is no fun.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?

Not on a train! Not on a plane!
Not on a quay! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, watching tele.
I would not, could not, eating jelly.
I will not take it in my mouth.
I will not take it further south.
I will not take it on my tits.
I will not take it on my bits.
I will not eat one ounce of cum.
There is no chance, so kiss my bum.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you in the dark?

I would not, could not, 
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a plane. Not on a quay.
I do not like it, Sam, you see.
Not in my mouth. Not on my tits.
Not further south. Not on my bits.
I will not eat it here or there.
I will not eat it anywhere.

You do not like,
the taste of cum?

I do not like it,
it is no fun.

Could you, would you,
in a shed?

I would not, could not,
in a shed!

Would you, could you,
on a sled?

I could not, would not on a sled.
I will not, will not in a shed.
I will not eat it in the rain.
I will not eat it on a train.
Not in the dark! Not on a quay!
Not on a plane! You let me be!
I do not like it on my tits.
I do not like it on my bits.
I will not eat it with my mouth.
I do not like it further south.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE!

I do not like the taste of cum,
For me the taste, it is no fun.

You do not like it,
so you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it Pam, and you may, I say.

Sam!
If you just will let me be,
I will try it,
you will see.

Say!
I must admit, I like the taste!
The saltiness of this penile-paste!
I think I’d eat it in a shed!
I think I’d eat it on a sled.
And I will eat it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And on a plane. And on a quay!
It tastes so good, between you and me!

So I will eat it off my tits.
And I will eat it off my bits.
And I will eat it watching tele.
And I will eat it with my jelly.
And I will eat it here and there.
Say! I will eat it ANYWHERE!

I do like,
the taste of cum!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Pam-I-am.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than Lushstories.com with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

To link to this sex story from your site - please use the following code:

<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/not-green-eggs-or-ham-1.aspx">Not Green Eggs or Ham</a>

Report offensive post

Comments(16)

TheSensualLady
Posted 09 Mar 2014 05:45
A very clever, funny, and entertaining twist to the classic story. This is one of my favorite poems on here. Excellent job!
LK213
Posted 18 Apr 2013 07:23
Brilliant, I was hooked right from the very first, and what a great ending. I will never look at a Dr. Suess book the same. Thanks LOL
Simon66
Posted 14 Mar 2013 11:04
Brilliant and so clever

Shannon3K
Posted 26 Feb 2013 19:17
Splendid!!!

Almost like going down on Dr. Seuss....maybe 30 years ago....when he was alive.
overmykneenow
Posted 22 Jan 2013 00:44
Simply brilliant!

crazydiamond
Posted 21 Jan 2013 23:38
HA! Hilarious, I do like a witty humourus rhyme.
Nice one Ms. Thornton!
Chrissy123
Posted 21 Jan 2013 21:26
Good fun

Buz
Posted 21 Jan 2013 19:36
Fantastic! Very funny and entertaining! Superb!

naughtyannie
Posted 21 Jan 2013 11:49
Witty and funny, Abi! I'm sure we still have the original at home... Knowing how it will end is half the fun teehee!
Cinner
Posted 21 Jan 2013 11:01
How imaginative and adorable! Love this, so much fun...TYVM for the smiles
Aletheia
Posted 21 Jan 2013 10:41
Super cute! Very clever! I love, love, love it!!!!
laserdude
Posted 21 Jan 2013 10:31
Clever, creative and VERY funny.
AvaMarie
Posted 21 Jan 2013 10:31
I will never look at Dr Seuss in the same way again! Aha, this was brilliant. Very funny

jillinjulie
Posted 21 Jan 2013 06:03
Quite fun and descriptive Abi...

clum
Posted 21 Jan 2013 04:39
Excellent. I really appreciate that you committed to this and executed it so well. I love a humorous piece (I've done a few myself) and can only hope that I do them half as well as you. Well done.
Americanheart
Posted 21 Jan 2013 04:38
i love this one
 

Post a Comment (max 500 characters):

 

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this story should be removed.

Reason