Notes From the Frontline

It was a moment of weakness
You caught me in;
It was nothing but a frenzy of emotion,
Taking me down.
Yet you think so much of yourself now,
Don’t you?
You see it as a coup,
When it was nothing more
Than good timing for you
(And the worst of it for me).
Trying to deflect
Your acrimonious scoldings;
Hoping to escape the
Sanctimonious speeches.
What could you do
When I just stopped listening to you?

They were years I cannot recover
Wasted with you,
Hoping something would change.
How many times did I beg of you
For something to believe in?
But, looking back, it’s strange,
Because you never once
Put the effort in.
There was never a time
When it mattered to you.
And now that I’m gone,
You’re singing your sorrows
In every letter you type,
Begging me to return.

This is wasted time,
Trying to explain.
But despite all you’ve put me through,
I feel I must defend
Decisions I made, finally.
They were good for me
(Someone you couldn’t consider
Even, in the end).
And though I don’t feel guilty,
I wonder what it’d take
For you to finally realize
That you really are
My biggest mistake.