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The Keys to Her Heart


Creamy is her delicate silky skin.
Satin Black is her thick hair.
Deep Turquoise are her seductive eyes.
Rich crimson lips has she, lush and plump.
Supple is her small frame,
And firm her large breasts with perky nipples.

Her heart, tender and sincere;
Her smile, bright and warming;
Her embrace secures and welcomes.

Her tears are bitter,
Profoundly forgiving,
But cross,
Pushed,
Insulted,
Like a cornered mother,
A tempest of wrath.

Treat her fairly;
Treat her kindly;
Treat her with dignity and respect.

She will never leave;
She will never harm;
She will always protect;
She will always discipline;
She will always nurture.

Most of all,
She will be yours.

Edited by: shylass & submissivemom72

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than Lushstories.com with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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Comments(7)


shexdensmore
Posted 11 Jan 2013 10:09
Thank you adele.
I actually tried to put a rhythm into it. And yes, I do like that style of poetry. Next time I will try to do that. again thanks

adele
Posted 11 Jan 2013 09:36
Your words are communicative and show that you put a lot of thought into them. However, I am of the old school of poetry that believes a poem needs some sort of form, a cadence or a rhyme. It was a good effort none the less.

Kal-El85
Posted 11 Jan 2013 04:27
A lovely poetic work; nice!

shexdensmore
Posted 10 Jan 2013 16:54
Thank you for your input every one. I will try my best to do better in the future.

Roxanna
Posted 10 Jan 2013 15:36
The imagery your words evoke is quite beautiful; however the words themselves lack depth. Please keep at it, you'll there

thanks for sharing.

Shylass
Posted 10 Jan 2013 15:01
You may be worried I have given you a four. Fear not! I have done so, because I want to see you do more. You have obviously really thought about this deeply, and that's excellent.

What I would like to see more of is a little more depth, something that isn't afraid to delve into why her tears are bitter, or what it will take to truly unlock her heart. What inspires her to become "yours"? Just respect? Or might it be the showing of vulnerability? Authority? I'd just like to see a little more substance.

But that said, you have done an excellent job, and as discussed, you have a lot to think about. Use it as a springboard to write more intensely. Good job.

shexdensmore
Posted 10 Jan 2013 12:43
Thank you shylass for your help and teaching me how to edit. I will try to keep what you said in mind and refer to them the next time I make a new one.
 

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