Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

By Captain Midnight
Adapted from “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” (Theme from Cheers) by Judy Hart Angelo and Gary Portnoy

(There will be notes at the end of this poem. For now, it is dedicated to Hotstuff, Kimber, Gailxxx, jordansbritslut, miss_honey_pot, Emmafisher, Lani_Whore, subvirgingirl [who has since left this site)] -- and, for the guys, asleep, bear_hug_giver, slickman, brock [wherever you are] and the_player.)

(Four bars of introductory music)

(Beginning with Verse 2)

When you’re feeling down, your troubles abound,
You feel uglier than Shrek …
And you see beautiful people
And you wonder What the HECK …
And when they treat you truly nice …

Sometimes you get to go
Where everybody knows your name …
No matter your fortune or fame …
To the gathering place where you make your own face,
And your rules fit your style in the game …
You wanna go where everybody knows your name!

(Verse 3)

Social sites -- for kisses or bites,
They depend on whom you meet …
Will you strike some chords with some of the hordes
Where you all march to the beat …
And when you really hit it off …

Sometimes you will just know
That everybody knows your name …
And they won’t pile on the blame …
That’s when it will show that people know ,
Deep down you’re so much the same …
You’re gonna go where everybody knows your name!

(Verse 4)

Sometimes in your life there is so much strife
And you’re feeling all sorts of blues …
You don’t even feel like asking someone
To walk a mile in your shoes …
But when they take your hand and walk along …

That’s when you come to know
Some people WANT to know your name …
They will assist you when you’re lame …
Some people care if you feel you can’t bear
The knowledge that you’re not the same …
They’ll take you to go where everybody knows your name.

(Verse 5)

Friends come thick and fast and often don’t last,
You may often disagree,
About lifestyles or money or wants,
Eye to eye you will not see …
And when they drop off your favorites list …

You sigh sadly and go
Where everybody knows your name …
And neither party is to blame …
You want to go where people know,
No two people are the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

(Verse 6)

Sometimes you find in the back of your mind,
Some knowledge you can keep,
That the friends you make may come and go,
But some friendships are truly deep …

And no matter what your differences are …
You’ll always get to go
Where everybody knows your name …
They will never put out the flame …
You’ll wanna go where people know
In some ways we’re all the same …
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

(32-bar flight of fancy without lyrics, returning to the simple familiar beginning with the piano chords leading into the vocals)

(Verse 1)

Making your way in the world today,
Takes everything you got …
Taking a break from all your worries,
Sure would help a lot …
Wouldn’t you like to get away …

Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name …
And they’re always glad you came …
You wanna go where people know
Deep down we’re all the same …
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

(Two more bars of piano music and the final chord)

NOTE: Whenever I did shows for the theater, I liked to imagine an opening-credit sequence to a television theme song that seemed to fit (I still have a huge collection of video and audio files for them). In 1990, I co-produced a Vietnam-War themed stage play which featured my then-girlfriend in her final role. “M*A*S*H” was the obvious choice -- too obvious, really, and the lyric “Suicide Is Painless” wasn’t what I wanted. “Tour of Duty” and “China Beach” were running at the time and I would have considered them -- if I had seen them enough to know the themes. The idea of camaraderie in music, and the fact that I thought “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” was a great choice for a transitional song to end one era and start another, led me to consider it. It was my private choice for the show and I never mentioned it -- until the opportunity rose now.

The first verse is what played on television and, I am convinced, helped make the show a hit as it got people to identify with the situations. Then the song got a little creepy with “your little angel hung the cat up by the tail” and “And your husband wants to be a girl …“ etc. So I wrote over those lines and created my own. Let me know what you think!