Anticipation and Release

I watch him as he sleeps and its mornings like this I am so thankful. As he gently purrs, I notice his features once again and it knocks me breathless how beautiful he is. With his long, dark hair, tanned skin and ability to be each kind of man I need, I am reminded of Adonis. I can only hope he looks at me as if I am his Aphrodite.

I trail my fingernails across his biceps, which, even in sleep are taut and defined. When I reach the apex of his muscles, I give them a playful squeeze and bend over to leave soft kisses behind. I gaze into his eyes as he stirs and I offer him a sly smile. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” He smiles as he runs a hand through my thick strawberry-blond curls. 

“Hello, Handsome. I was lonely and wanted to wake you up.” I bend my head away from his and butterfly-kiss his chest with my eyelashes. He half-giggles sleepily and follows my head with his hand, binding his fingers into my hair deeper.

As I kiss and nibble my way over his chest and down to his firm abs, I feel his muscles tighten and his breath quicken. I raise myself up with my arms, but just enough that my breasts dangle over his bare skin, as my nipples barely graze the places I left my marks. 

He softly moans as I make my way down to his boxers. His waistline. Mmmm… I could spend hours making love to his waistline. It is the most erotic place on a man’s body. The waistline lets you know you’re almost home. It lets you know that you are almost to the place of sweet serenity and being. His waistline lets me know that he desires me just as much as I desire him. 

I inch my fingers around the waist of his boxers, following my fingers with soft, wet kisses. I nibble at his hips a bit, his ticklish spot, and he starts to giggle just enough to let me know I’m doing everything right. 

“Come here, you,” he whispers as he pulls me up to meet his face. As I straddle him, he kisses me with such passion, such fire, it could rival all kisses before this. His tongue knows just how to wrap mine, his lips know just how much hardness to give me, and his heavy breathing knows just when to peak at the right times. 

I have a tendency to close my eyes and allow him to soak into my soul, but not this time. I quickly remember this is for him and I break the kiss. He looks into my eyes like a wounded puppy, but I simply smile and shake my head no. 

“This morning, my love, belongs to you. What do you want most?” I coyly ask as I start nibbling at his collarbone. 

“You. Just you,” he responds with a soft breath, and I intend to give him just what he wants. 

I met Ryder when I was just twenty-one and working at the local school. My problem was that I still thought I knew it all. I still thought I was invincible and he proved to me I wasn’t. Out of that, I learned to respect him, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t love him right away. He had some sort of power over me from day one. There has never been a day that I haven’t loved him more than the last. The way I love him is rather dangerous, really. He can destroy me, but he holds me close. He knows exactly how to bring my house of cards tumbling down into ruins, but he helps me build it up instead. The one thing I did know, without a doubt in my mind, was that I loved this man with ever fiber of my soul. And he knew that I knew. 

It had been raining buckets that day, with a few silent lightning streaks flashing across the sky. It hadn’t been a cold day, by any means, but now, as the wind whipped, I had become cold right into my bones. Not knowing the weather would change so quickly, I didn’t think to bring a jacket or sweater with me that morning. 

As I made my way into the school building, my nipples were, very noticeably, trying to escape the confines of my thin, tight shirt. Goosebumps ran the length of my legs and my brain could not control the gnashing of my jittery teeth. 

“Here, wrap up in this,” a deep voice that I had never heard before said from behind me. It was sultry and smokey and as he neared my shoulders with his hands, I felt a sudden rush. A tingle that did not come from the cold.

I must have gotten lost inside myself for a minute, because the next thing I knew, his hands had spun me around to face him. I remember thinking to myself that this felt dangerous. I didn’t feel safe. At the same time, though, I remember being perfectly at ease with him and willing. I had never been more willing in my life. 

“I’m sorry… I was just trying to focus,” I said, my statement being full of sheepishness. I felt like an utter fool.

“No need to be sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. What on earth happened to you?” His voice was firm, yet filled with concern. His eyes, though, told a different story.

“Mother Nature happened to me,” I began sarcastically, “she always knows how to ruin a good shirt.” I thought it came off more coyly as intended, so I smiled a wide, half-side grin.

“I think the shirt looks even better on you when its wet, but that’s just my opinion. Keep the jacket until you dry up. I don’t need you to be getting sick right before our first date.” With that, he gave me a sly grin and walked off. 

My mind raced in a thousand different directions. I heard the words - jacket, date, shirt, wet, dry. The problem was I couldn’t piece them together long enough to understand what he had just said to me. Eventually, my head came around, and as I shook off the encounter, I headed to my classroom. 

The next day was mid-afternoon on in late May and the temperature was just right. As I left the classroom for the day, I decided to grab my favorite book and head to my favorite, most quiet and serene place to read: underneath the big Cottonwood tree in the community park.

As I neared the base of the tree, I took my sandals off so I could feel the grass between my toes. One of my favorite parts of spring are the smells. The smell of fresh-cut grass is above all others, but blooming daffodils, roses and fresh rain come in close seconds. 

I spread my pink and black checkerboard blanket down beside the trunk of the ginormous tree and l got comfortable. Sometimes, I will sit and watch the people for a bit and make up my own dialogue about their lives. I’ve been doing that since I was a little girl, always caught up in fantasy.

I heard a slight rustling behind me and turned my head to look. Ryder stood there, dark and mysterious. In denim jeans that were just a smidge too tight, a short-sleeved button down shirt that wasn’t buttoned at all with a white tank-top underneath, he looked dreamy and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

“I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t mean to scare you,” he pleaded and stayed right where he was, not moving a single well-defined muscle.

“I thought I was alone here. Not many people stray this far from the main part of the park, but I like it here. I’m still within safety, but its like being in my own world.” All of a sudden, a blush formed on my cheeks and I couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. 

“Don’t look away. The blush on your cheeks says so much about you.” I felt as if he was burning a hole right through me. I felt electrified, hungered. 

“I’ve been watching you for weeks. I’ve seen you come out here and read your books. I’ve watched you get lost inside of something very real to you and you know what?” His sultry gaze was finally able to see mine as I tilted my head up towards him. “That’s sexy as hell to watch.”

At that moment, the two halves of my brain started fighting. One half decided all on her own that this situation was perfectly rational and to just go with the flow. The other half was telling me that maybe he could be dangerous to me in some way. After all, he had been watching me for a while now and I had never even noticed. It was a good argument honestly, but in the end, I threw caution to the wind and asked him to sit with me.

“You didn’t even twitch when I told you I had been following you for a while. Some women would have screamed.” He chuckled. 

“Some women can’t read people the way I can, I suppose. I don’t know, I just feel safe with you. Although, I will admit to one side of my brain telling me to run.” I hesitated at that last bit. I don’t know this man, yet I feel compelled to open up to him and immediately trust him. I had a feeling he was trying to open up, within me, a can of worms that I would never understand. He gently took my chin in his hand, bent my face upwards to meet his and kissed me gently and sweetly. 

“How’s this for a first date?” he asked between kisses.

With my tongue, I answered him. I answered not only his questions, but every question I had asked myself in the past few weeks. I answered every question I had asked myself my whole life and I answered my most recent question up to that point: Do I want this?

“I want… date…” was all I could manage to push out of my throat.

While putting his hands on my hips, he pushed up, lifting me and making me straddle him in mid-air. His muscles rippled with every motion and with just the sundress I was wearing, I could feel his stiff bulge trying to push through his jeans and into my awaiting garden. 

He carried me over and propped me up against the trunk of the Cottonwood. He dug his body into mine with such force, it edged the fine line between pain and pleasure. His tongue dug deeper down into my throat and worked mine with such intensity that I thought I might lose my breath. 

Immediately, my world went black and a primal hunger took over. I couldn’t wait to have him. I couldn’t wait for him to become mine and I, his. I was filled with animalistic lust and my soul kept urging me on. Take him and own him.

With my body, I urged his onto the ground. I kissed him deeply and asked him to stay right where he was, to allow me to be his slave, to tell me what he wants from me. Until then, I refused to touch him. 

One by one, I started removing pieces of clothing from my moist skin, giving him an eyeful of my bountiful breasts after removing my lace-trimmed bra. I slid my pale-pink thong underwear over and down my womanly hips, but only just enough. I let the thong rest on my hips for a minute, I spread my legs open wide and proceeded to bend over to adjust the blanket on the ground. 

I heard a small, but audible gasp come from behind me. I thought I knew he was getting exactly what he wanted. As I turned around to face him, our eyes locked and I knew without a doubt, a small strip-tease wasn’t all he wanted. I walked up the length of his body, straddling him the entire way until I was standing right over his face. 

He started stammering, not knowing what to say while being mesmerized by my womanhood. I must give credit to the Gods. I was blessed with a pretty paradise. Everything is just so neatly tucked in and in proportion. I have a small tuft of golden hair on my mound, but bare elsewhere. He had to have been in Heaven.

I asked him with a nod of my head if he would like see what paradise could taste like and he nodded back at me eagerly. I could see the pleading in his eyes and just as he was about to speak, I lowered myself onto his tongue. His tongue circled around my entrance, teasing me and wanting me to beg for more. I kept silent. I wanted him to beg me to beg.

He lifted his chin far enough up to make contact with my pleasure button as he gingerly inserted a finger into my awaiting flesh. I nearly yelped. Nobody had ever made me feel this lustful and hungry before. I held my composure and stood back up while my sweet juices dripped down my leg. I stripped the thong off my round buttocks and bent my face down to his.

“Darling, you can have me in whatever capacity you need me. All I ask is that you take me with your hands tied.” I purred, just mere centimeters from his mouth and carefully bound his hands above his head. Once I felt he was secure enough to respect my wish, I bent down to his lips once more, nibbled his bottom lip, then met his tongue with mine. 

Not only did the way he carried himself seem dangerous, but he tasted dangerous as well. He tasted honey-suckle sweet, with a hint of salty goodness. He was a perfect, explosive mix and I wanted more. I raised my head from his and with pleading eyes asked him what I could do for him. I wanted so badly to please him and I was ravenous for his seed.

Wanting him to see my ass in all its glory, I stood up and bent over to fix the blanket that had become disheveled, with my legs far open. He stood up from the ground and slowly walked over to me. I could barely contain my excitement, but somehow, someway, I remained stoic and tried my hardest not to give away any kind of emotion. 

“Hmmm.. it seems as someone is eager to please me.” He met my eyes and grinned. Apparently, I needed a blind-fold to conceal my emotions as well. My eyes were truly my window to my soul and I was a fool to ever think otherwise. 

I could feel his hot breath on the skin of my shoulders. I wanted to speak and tell him exactly how much I needed him, but no words would form. Just soft gasps of air and a gentle hums would make themselves known. He nibbled his way down passed my collarbones and to my breasts. While training one breast to respond to his tongue, he trained the other one to respond to his roving fingers. 

I arched my back in order to push my erect nipple farther into his mouth. He used his teeth to claw back and forth on it and that gave me a sensation I had never felt before. It felt as if electricity was moving through my center and up into my brain. My eyes tightly closed and my breath came in short, quick spurts. My mouth opened to cry out, but he stifled my screams with his mouth and we danced with our tongues.

“I haven’t even begun to show you what paradise is.” He continued working his lips down my body. He gently nibbled at my flesh as if he couldn’t wait to take a bite of sweet surrender. His hands followed his every kiss, until he finally met my center. 

“You are beautiful,” he whispered and then started exploring my folds with his warm tongue. He reached his bound hands down and started feeling his way into me. As his tongue swirled faster on my button, my body grinded against his hand. I was ready to explode once again with fiery electricity. 

“Come for me, my love. That’s all I ever want from you.” He purred into my womanhood. I felt I was on the edge.

“I… want… you… come… ” the words couldn’t form properly, but he knew exactly what I was asking for. He stood up from his knees, gave me a gentle kiss, then turned me around and leaned me over, leaving me with nothing to hold onto but the Cottonwood. 

He placed my legs so they were very tightly together and then used his mouth to caress my buttocks. I pushed backwards into him as he asked me to remove my thong from his wrists. 

I turned around and locked him into a deep kiss. Little pulses of fireworks coursed through my brain as he ran his bound hands up the length of my body to my firm, round breasts. 

“I could please you much more if you would unbind me, my love,” he whispered between maddening kisses.

My head bent down to meet his fingers as they rolled my hard nipples between them. I very softly kissed each finger trapped within the bind and gently sucked the very tips. I moved my way down his body with my mouth to his firm, pulsating cock.

“You were supposed to untie me,” he chuckled down at me.

I smiled the most evil smile I could think of, gazed up and with a voice that could command the Gods of Love, I softly said, “Yes, my master, but you got the lines blurred.”

“You see, I knew you had been following me,” I purred between long, slow licks of his cock. “You had a pattern and you probably thought I would never notice.” I took his round, taut testicles into my mouth and gave them a sharp flick of my tongue. 

“Go on, my love. You have my attention.” He smiled down at me.

I pulled his rigid shaft from my mouth, gave it a hard kiss and continued. “It has always been my fantasy to have someone follow me then have his way with me, consensual, of course.” I slowly took every inch of him into my mouth and held him there, at the back of my throat. When breathtaking tears fell from my eyes, I allowed him to release me.

I allowed him to have me that day. In more ways that I could imagine a man having control over a woman. He controlled my thoughts, my moves and every ounce of my desire.

I had never dreamed up the day I let someone have total control over me like this. I only had the fantasy, tucked away in the file cabinets of my brain and finally, I could release it and surround myself with its yummy goodness.

My first time with Ryder is what keeps me begging for more. He brought out my most carnal passions that day and every night since. I can still feel the sweetness of his mouth as it caressed my buttocks, in anticipation of making its way down to taste my musky aroma and when I look at him, I still feel the same hunger I felt for him that day. I can still feel that primal biology impulse that tells me I must have his seed. And when he’s sleeping, that’s when I want him the most.

All those years ago, I gave him what he wanted. I gave him every piece of me. My body, my will and my soul. He gave me something as well. 

He gave me fire. He gave me lust. He breathed new life into me. He repaired my broken pieces, one at a time and ever so carefully. He controlled me, but I needed that. He protected me and held my soul as his own so that it may never be shattered. And he loved me the entire time.

He loves me still. Beneath the passion, he loves me. I am forever grateful for picnics in the park in late May, when the flowers are blooming and I want to be alone. 

“Thank you, my North. Thank you for awakening me that day and igniting fire I didn’t think I would ever have. Thank you for pulling my soul into yours and watching over it with tender care and thank you for loving me enough to find my hidden places,” I say tenderly as he slowly rolls me over to make love to me.

Yes, indeed. This morning he will get anything he wants.

“Always with love,” he whispers as he drove his shaft into me hard, making me gasp in surprise. “Always with love.” he whispers again. 

© Shannon Wester 2013