Jake stands at the door in shock. Drew quickly pulls the sheets on top of me so that my breasts wouldn't show as we sit up. We sit in silence, naked in bed, not knowing of what to do or say.
"Is this the part where you're supposed to tell me that it's not what it looks?" Jake asks, as he walks inside the room.
He looks mad. Drew is holding me close as I hold the sheets up to my body.
"We thought you were with Alex..." Drew says.
"Well she cancelled. I've been trying to call and text you guys for the past half hour, and now I know why neither of you picked up......have you guys been fucking behind my back?" Jake asks in an angry tone.
"No...things just...happened," I reply.
"Why...I mean...how? What, are you guys gonna dating now? Am I supposed to be the third wheel? I know you two spend a lot more time together, so don't think I won't suspect where this is going" he cries.
"Whoa, Jake, you always used to bring Alex around with us. We didn't complain," I start to say.
"What, so this is revenge for having a girlfriend, huh Rae? So you decide to hook up with Drew?"
"Dude, back off!" Drew yells.
"Whatever, go fuck yourselves....again!" Jake cries, storming out of the house.
I can't believe it. A part of me wants to jump out of bed and run after him, tell him that we were still here for him and that nothing was going to change. The other part of me is what is making me stay in bed, not only because I was naked but because I had Drew, hugging me and telling me that everything was going to be okay. I start to cry on his shoulder. I never thought that Jake would be so mad, at us especially.
We get dressed and continue to lay in bed cuddling in each other's arms. We've both calmed down from what happened with Jake, letting each other's presence be it's own comfort.
"So...what happens now?" I ask Drew.
"I guess now is the time to come clean..." he starts to say.
"The truth is...the first time I told you that I thought you were pretty was when I started to really have feelings for you. Every time we'd be left alone, well, without Jake, I'd just look at you and thought...'wow, I can't believe I'm even friends with this girl, she's perfect for me'...but that was just it. We were just friends, and I didn't want to lose that unless I knew you felt something too."
"That was until today right?" I interupt.
"Yeah, until today. At first, I wasn't sure about making a move, then I guess, you somehow pushed me too it. I could just tell by the way you looked...you just, never looked like that before, and then I just knew that you felt something too. I didn't wanna lose another chance." Drew says.
"Another chance? What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean...I've wanted to ask you out for a while now. Everything time we'd have our serious talks, I've just wanted to tell you how I felt and kiss you but I'd chicken out. I just...I really wanna be with you and...I really hope we can give us a chance."
I'm starting to feel tingly all over again.
"I'm also glad that I'm your first time Rae. I wouldn't want you to end up with someone who didn't love you as much a I do."
"Well, I'm glad that I'm your first time too," I reply.
"You seemed to really know what you were doing."
"Come on Rae, you know why," Drew says.
It was because of porn. We've talked about watching it before. That's how open we were to each other. We've talked about what kind of porn we've watched and what we liked and what we thought was just straight up disgusting, although we've never actually talked about what we would want during sex. All the girls in porn videos tend to moan a lot so that's what I tried to do, so I guess Drew assumed that I would like being fingered...or maybe he just wanted to try it because he liked it...eh, doesn't really matter anymore. I just never truly thought it would be with my Drew.
"Ha-ha. That's where I learn from too," I say.
"So where do we go from here?"
"Maybe...maybe we should take things slow...for Jake," Drew says,
"You're right. We should call hm over and talk things out."
We get up off the bed and head downstairs to call Jake. Despite his angry mood, he agrees to come over again. Its silence at first while we all sit in the living room, not knowing of how to begin conversing.
"So why am I here again?" Jake starts to say.
"We want to sort things out...me and Rae are gonna take things slow and..." Drew replies.
"Wow, so you're still going to date?"
"Yeah. We are. What's the problem with that?" Drew snaps.
"Come on Jake. We never wanted to hurt you," I tell Jake as he stares at me.
"Well...what happens when you break up huh?" Jake complains.
"That's why we're taking things slow...we wanna make sure you're comfortable with everything," Drew says.
"How about...don't start dating. That will make me comfortable," Jake lashes back.
"We're going to be together...whether you like it or not. I love her, man."
Jake says nothing, and refuses to look at Drew. Instead, he stares at me, as if hes waiting for me to just break things off right now. That wasn't going to happen. We spend so much time together and having just had sex for the first time, we couldn't just go back to the way things were. Drew knew that, but I don't think Jake did.
"It's our fault..." I start to say.
"I get it, okay Jake? We put this upon ourselves and now we can't take it back, but please. You know us. You know how we think. I don't just want to let this slide...I want to at least try with Drew. If it were with you, I'd want to try too."
Jake looks like hes beginning to understand. He knows how me and Drew can be. We're sensitive and humble, and he knows how hurt we would be if we were to just let this be a "one time thing". We were two very awkward individuals. I felt a little selfish wanting Jake to approve of us but I've waited too long to find someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them. If Jake loved us, he'll let us be.
"I...guess," he replies.
The tension in the room begins to die down as we continue to talk things through. Jake agrees to accept us being together, figuring that we may even get to spend more time with each other. He mentions how Alex and him have been wanted to go on double dates with people but all his football friends sleep around instead of having a solid girlfriend. Things were looking up.
Everyone at school is talking about me and Drew. We continuously kiss in the hallways, hold hands on our way to class, and eventually became one of the top dancing couples in our salsa class. Some people had expected us to happen after being friends for so long and some people thought that I was a slut and possibly hooking up with Drew and Jake because we spend so much time together. I don't care about the rumors. As long as I had my boyfriend and my bestfriend by my side, I could careless about everything else.
Jake invites us to another one of his football buddie's party, and as always, me and Drew refuse. For some reason, Jake seems very persistant. He drives up to Drew's house while we are watching reruns of Community, one of our favorite television shows. He bangs on the door, along with Alex and one of his football buddies.
"Come on lovebirds, get the fuck off your asses and come to the party!"
"Do you wanna go?" Drew asks me.
We've never gone to a highschool party before. Jake has never been this persistant for us to go. He's never shown up at our doorstep practically forcing us to leave.
"It'll be a first I guess?"
We leave with them and drive up to a large mansion a few neighborhoods down, music blasting. I forgot how rich these football players were. We enter the house completely unprepared for what we were about to see.
I figured that the house was beautiful, although it was hard to tell with all of my peers from school scattered everywhere. Expensive vases were being toyed with, red cups filled with vodka spilling on nicely patterned carpets, and as soon as we walk into the kitchen, a boy from my english class runs pass us butt naked screaming like a panzi. Jake fills up some red cups with beer, and hands them to us. We didn't drink very often, so we took small sips now and then.
Jake leads us to the balcony upstairs to get a view of the large pool. As we go outside, we look down at the even bigger group of kids from school, cheering and swimming in the pool. I can see naked girls rubbing up against each other while boys take pictures, and people throwing around blowup toys. Suddenly, Jake disappears, leaving me and Drew alone on the balcony.
"This is nice...kind of," I say.
It would have been better if we were looking out at city lights rather than naked teenagers. From the inside we hear a loud group of guys yelling and cheering.
"What the hell is that about?" Drew questions.
We head back inside to see what was going on. We follow the loud remarks to a bedroom where I can instantly see a large group of guys huddling around the doorway, eager to see what was happening inside. We push our way through as we thought we heard a familiar voice. As we weave through the crowd, we see Alex bent over with her clothes pulled off, revealing her private parts while a bunch of football players huddle over her, completely nude while stroking themselves. Jake was among them.
"That's right babe. Only taking you out tomorrow if you get every single one of these guys to fuck the living shit out of you," he says into her face, cupping it in his palms.
Alex's makeup is streaming down her face as she holds someone's penis with her mouth, having Jake slap her behind. A few other guys are feeling up her breasts, snickering at how much of a little whore she was. I don't like how this looks at all. She looks miserable. How dare they treat her like this? I didn't know her very well but I knew enough to know that she wasn't this kind of girl. How desperate is she to be with Jake that she is willing to do whatever he tells her?
I swoop in and grab Alex, pull her up and lead her to the bathroom, foolishly leaving Drew in the room hoping that he would talk some sense into Jake. Alex begins to cry. As we quickly shut the door behind us in the bathroom, I help her pull her clothes back into position. I then help wipe off her makeup.
"What the hell are you thinking Alex? Has Jake been making you do things like this?" I ask her.
She nods. She turns the foucet on, bends down to grab a sip of water in her mouth, gargles and spits.
"This is why we've been off and on. He always wants me to do things that I don't wanna do."
"Then why do you still bother being with him?" I ask.
"You say that like you think hes an asshole. Isn't he, like, your best friend?" she replies.
"Well sometimes, best friends can be assholes. Especially when they abuse the people they are supposed to love. I can't believe he's making you do this, out of all things." I say.
"I love him, and... I don't why. I just want to be with him." she starts to say.
"We started off so well. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first time...I...I can't just let that go. No matter what, he will always have something over me. My feelings for him will never go away."
"Alex, you know, its been three years. That's enough to start a change," I say.
"Thanks for helping me Rachel," she says to me.
We exit the bathroom and see that the crowd in the bedroom had dispersed. No football players, no Jake, and no Drew either. We both set off to find them. It was nice hanging out with a girl for a change, although this wasn't going to go on for any longer since we were both trying to find our boyfriends then planned on leaving. Alex was finally going to end things with Jake after being pushed around for too long, and I didn't want my Drew having anything to do with Jake's party antics. This is why we never wanted to go to any parties. We knew how much shit happens, we weren't stupid.
I can't find Drew anywhere. He wasn't in the room, or the balcony, or the pool...where could he be? We hadn't checked the basement so thats where we both head off to. As we walk down the stairs, we could hear more football players yelling. There was my Drew, with Jake's arm around him, forcing down a drink into his mouth.
"Drew!" I yell.
"Drew?" says another voice.
Suddenly, a small blonde appears out of nowhere and walks up to Drew.
"Connie?" Drew replies to her.
She runs up into his arms and kisses him.
"I can't believe it! I've missed you so much babe!"
My heart sank. What the hell was going on?
Drew looks up at me standing by the staircase, watching my eyes begin to water before I storm back upstairs.
"Shit...Rae! Rachel!" he yells after me.
I run upstairs to the main entrance of the mansion, not knowing where else to go. Drew catches up to me.
"Rae, let me explain," he says.
"Who the hell is she? Why did she kiss you?!" I yell at him.
"Uh, who the hell am I? Who the fuck are you?" the blonde girl says coming up behind Drew.
"I'm his damn girlfriend!" I snap back.
"Girlfriend? Drew...you said you'd wait for me," she says.
Drew looks puzzled, looking back from me to her. The fact that he's even conversing between the two of us makes me want to run out, but he was holding onto my arms now.
"So what Drew, that's it? We have sex once, promise you'll wait for me to come back and you forget everything?" the blond girl says.
"Oh, so you guys had sex...well that's just terrific. Seriously Drew, how could you?" I yell at him.
"Rae, look. It happened way before me and you got together," he starts to say.
"I don't care when
it happened, I'm just hurt that it had
happened and you never told me...You fucking lied!" I yell, pushing him away and running out the door.
"It's me Rae!"
As I am walking out the front driveway, I turn around to see Jake running up to me. He hugs me.
"I saw what happened," he says.
I couldn't help but cry on his shoulder. I was a little mad at what he had done to Alex but he was my best friend. I needed him now. He tells me to get into his car, which I do. He drives me to his house and we head to his basement to talk. He leaves to get me some water and comes back with a glass and blanket while I sit hugging my legs up on the couch.
"Thanks," I say as Jake wraps the blanket around me and hands me the glass of water.
He puts his arm around me and pulls me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder.
"Did you know her Jake?" I ask him.
"Uh, never seen her in my life," he replies.
"I just...I can't believe he lied to me. He took my virginity Jake..." I begin to cry as I bury my head in his shoulder.
Jake starts to stroke my hair, telling me that its going to be okay. He gives me a light peck on the forehead.
"I know you Rae. You may be shy and keep to yourself sometimes but, you're so much more than that," he starts to say.
"You're smart, loving, understanding..."
"Wait, Jake..." I interupt, lifting myself away from him.
"What is going on with you and Alex?"
"Are we really going to talk about that now? I thought this was about you?" he replies.
"She loves you Jake and you're making her feel like shit."
"Oh, is that what she told you? You guys aren't even friends, why do you care?"
"Because I'm a girl, Jake! Of course I'd understand where she's coming from at least. She said that you were her first love and you make her do things she doesn't want to do."
"I don't make her do anything! She does what she wants, and if she loves me then she'll prove it," he snaps back.
"So you make her your sex slave? Jake...that...that's disgusting!"
Jake sits there in silence.
"Don't you love her?" I ask, concerned.
"...honestly...I don't think I do," he says.
"How...how could you do that? How could you keep being with someone that you don't love? You were each other's first..."
"She's not my first love...if that's what you were going to say," he says.
"Have you ever been in love before Jake?" I ask.
"I am in love," he says, looking at me.
He leans in and kisses me, making me spill my glass of water on his carpet.
"I'm so sorry!" I cry as I stand up.
"It's just water Rae. It'll dry..." he says as he stands up with me, cupping my face with his hands and kisses me again.
This can't be happening. Jakes not supposed to be kissing me right now. I'm supposed to be with Drew...
I push him away.
"Jake, stop...we can't," I protest.
"What? So you can hook up with skater boy but not me? Rae, I've tried so hard to be there for you," he starts to say.
"But Jake...we aren't like that...not us...its so much more different with Drew" I reply.
"Look, I get that you and Drew spend way more time together and its normal to get attached but you can't deny that you've felt something for me too..."
It was a little true. I've had something for both of them. Drew made me feel good when I was down and Jake was there to keep my spirits up. They weren't just pretty faces, they were so much more...but I couldn't play both of them like that. I don't want to hurt them like this. I chose one and I can't choose the other as well.
"Jake, I love you...but...just as a friend," I tell him as he stares into my eyes.
"Jake! Open up! I know shes here!"
We could hear Drew upstairs banging on the front door.
"Perfect..." Drew mumbles as he heads up the stairs.
I stand there in the basement stunned. Jake could not be in love with me. Even if he says he was, it just didn't feel real. After what had happened with Alex, I wasn't sure if Jake was even capable of love. He says hes in love but, I don't think he knows what it is. All I want to do right now is to be comforted by Drew, but I know that can't happen...not after what hes done.
"Rae!" Drew yells.
"Dude, where is she?"
"I don't think its a good idea..." I hear Jake say.
"For fuck sakes man, RAE! WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"...Drew?" I start to say.
Drew comes running down the stairs of the basement, and hugs me. I want to pull away and hit him...but I just can't.
"I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry," he starts to say.
One arm is around my waist while the other is around my shoulder. I slowly rest my head on his shoulder.
"I never meant to hurt you. I just...I didn't tell you...cuz...I knew how important everything was to you..."
I look up to see Jake standing at the edge of the staircase with Drew's back to him, unable to see the hurt on Jake's face. He gives me a sorrowful stare then quietly heads back up the stairs, leaving me and Drew to talk.
"How could you Drew..." I start to say, buring my face in his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I love you so much. I just...I'm sorry."
I started to understand what Alex was saying. Jake was her first time. She would feel something special towards him whether she wanted to or not. That's how I was feeling towards Drew. He may have hurt me, but there was and always will be a place in my heart with his name on it.
We talked on the couch. The blonde girl's name was Connie and she had lived near him about a year ago. They were each other's first time. Her parents sent to her off to boarding school which meant that they couldn't be together. Drew promised that he'd wait for her, thinking nothing would ever happened with me and him. When things did, he didn't want to let the chance go. He knew that she would be visiting home a lot but he never took the initative to continue his relationship with her. She was too much apparently. His time with her wasn't sensual or meaningful, according to Drew. They didn't feel connected. They just fucked, although she obviously felt something for him. They lost their virginity to each other. I couldn't help but wonder if what he was telling me was true. Was he going to leave me for her now?
"I knew how important it was to you. You looked so happy...I couldn't just take your smile away from you like that. I just want you to be happy Rae," he says to me.
I sit there in silence, not knowing how to respond. Hes holding my hands in his, waiting for me to say something. I burst out in tears again.
"I'm a screw up okay? Please, I hate seeing you cry so much Rae."
I end up burying my face in his chest.
"I feel like...punching you...and...kissing you...at the same time...I just...I don't know anymore Drew," I cry.
He holds me close to him, letting my sob all over his shirt. Hes lying back on the couch while I start to fall asleep on his chest.
"This wasn't supposed to happen..." I mumble as I doze off.
to be continued...
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/broken-triangle-part-2.aspx">Broken Triangle Part 2</a>