I wake up the next morning in Drew's arms with a blanket over us, which I'm assuming is Jake's doing. Drew begins to wake up as well, as I slowly lift myself off of him.
"Hi," he says, in a sleepy voice.
We sit up on the couch in silence at first, until Drew begins to speak.
"So...where does this leave us?"
"I don't know. I guess it depends on what you wanna do," I say.
"Why would it depend on me?"
"Because you've got two girls that are in love with you."
"Connie is not in love with me," he says.
"Yes she is. She wouldn't of acted the way she did if she wasn't feeling something towards you, and I can't help but think that...you may feel something for her too."
"Stop this Rae..."
"You took each other’s virginity. You can't help but feel connected to each other in some way. I mean...that's how Alex feels with Jake. Shes in too deep all because Jake was her first time..."
"Wait...so what are you suggesting?" Drew says, interrupting me.
"I'm suggesting that maybe you should talk to her."
"Why? What do I possibly have to say to her after she humiliated me...and you!"
"Just...talk to her. If I were Connie, I'd want you to talk to me and explain why you never kept in contact, and why you didn't wait like you promised."
"Seriously Drew, please talk to her. In the meantime...I think me and you should take a break," I say to him, as my eyes get watery.
"A break...but we're not breaking up, are we?"
"I...I don't know," I say.
"Because...I feel like you need to make up your mind."
"About what? You already know that I'm in love with you..."
"Do I Drew? How could I know that for sure? You lost your fucking virginity to each other and I know you Drew...I know that you're not the type of guy to just sleep with a girl and forget she ever existed. That's not you. You're so much more..."
"Rae, just stop!" he cries out-loud.
I don't want to talk, I don't want to fight, and I don't wanna cry any longer so I get up to leave.
"Rae...please!" Drew cries.
I ignore his plea and storm out of Jake's house.
It's been about three weeks since I've talked to Drew. Jake's been talking to him and keeping me updated on how he's been holding up. He told me that Drew is still upset and has been having trouble pulling up the courage to speak to Connie about everything. I can't help but wonder whether Drew is scared to talk to Connie because of his guilt for hurting her, or because there may be a chance that he still has feelings for her. Whatever his feelings are, I just want him to set things straight for us and especially for himself. Me and Connie had lost our virginity to him and I had a feeling that neither of us wanted to let go of that fact. It is either me or her.
My virginity was special to me, and I've only wanted to lose it someone I loved...and that is Drew. I mean, I love Jake too and maybe if things were reversed, I would have lost my virginity to Jake instead.
It is an odd love between the three of us. It is the type of feeling that didn't need to be said because it is constantly shown.
Before all of this drama, I had no doubt in my mind that Drew and Jake were the two guys, or at least shown characteristics of the type of guy that I would want to share that memorable moment with. I feel blessed to have become friends with them, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Although the thought of Drew continuing to talk to that girl incredibly displeases me, I've always tried to be considerate...even if it was at the cost of my own happiness. Despite of his lie, I still love him. Despite being the girl that Drew loved, I couldn't help but feel pity for Connie by giving her one last chance with my Drew if he wanted to. If I were her, I'd be devastated. Therefore, I pushed myself away from Drew for these last couple of weeks. He has tried to call and talk about our "break" but I would just tell him to talk to Connie. If Drew and I were to continue our relationship, I want both of us on clean slates. If he still has feelings for Connie then he would need to figure things out.
I hate being at home, especially when I'm all by myself. My parents are always out, I'm not talking to Drew, and Jake has been sorting things out with Alex. I guess she never really got to break things off with him and he seems to have possibly taken my comments on his relationship issues to heart. I am left sitting at home all alone watching reruns of The Vampire Diaries while eating a tub of cookies n' cream flavored ice cream. I feel pathetic. I never thought I would be one of those girls who would isolate themselves from the world after being heartbroken by some guy...but then again, he wasn't just any guy.
Suddenly, the phone rings. It's Drew.
"I talked to her today," he says.
"She's pretty angry, and upset."
"So what did she say exactly?" I ask.
"Well, I apologized for everything and explained the situation to her...and she told me that she had decided to go to school in town again so that the both of us could be together. She remembered my promise."
"What else Drew," I ask him suspiciously.
"She...um...she said that she loved me."
"Oh." I say.
"She wants us to at least try to make things work you know...she wants us to pick up where we left off before she left."
I could feel my eyes begin to water.
"So, that’s it then. I mean...um...I'm...I'm happy for you Drew." I nervously say.
"Seriously Drew...you...you made the right choice," I say as I try to hold back my tears.
That's it. I've lost him. There's no way things could go back to the way they were. He has chosen her over me, and now I can't help but contemplate if it is because she is prettier than me, thinner than me, or of course, because she is his first time. Suddenly the doorbell rings. I assumed that it is going to be Jake coming to comfort me again in my time of need.
"I...I have to go Drew," I say, whipping away my tears.
I hang up the phone, lift my lazy self off of the couch and go to open the front door.
"Drew?" I say, confused to see him standing at my doorstep.
He stands in front of me smiling.
"You're right...I did make the right choice."
He lifts me off my feet, kissing me as my arms go around his neck. He takes off his favorite black snap-back and places it on my head.
"You are officially my girl," he says, pushing me back towards the couch.
We sit in front of the TV, with his smile wider than ever. He starts to wipe away my remaining tears off of my confused face.
"But...Connie. You said..."
"I said that she wanted to try, but I didn't say that I did too...I explained everything to her, and I mean everything."
"Yeah...from when I fell for you, to when I finally had the balls to make a move, and how things just escalated quickly. I told her I am in love with you Rae."
"How did she react?"
"Well, she was a little pissed but she understood...I think. She was kind of a bitch about it."
"What? She was! I tried to act civil with her but she just kept complaining about how I was a douche bag and that she loved me but she hated me...it was confusing to say the least. Look, I want to be with my best friend... whose beautiful, caring, smart, funny, kind..."
He kisses me softly, and then kisses me harder and longer.
"I love you Drew...and I know how much you love this hat so you should take it back," I jokingly say, placing his hat off my head and onto his.
I feel a little embarrassed being in my pajamas on a Saturday afternoon watching The Vampire Diaries while my boyfriend cuddled me in his arms, but he doesn't care. The only thing he is concerned about at the moment is the show.
"So, the main character Elena, has two guys who are brothers...both in love with her and she's in love with both of them too?" he asks.
"Since when are you into shows like this?"
"Well you guys wouldn't know, but I've actually loved this show for a while now." I reply.
We spend the rest of the day cuddling and watching television, just like old times. We call up Jake and tell him that Drew and I are together again. We are done with taking things slow. After explaining everything that happened, Jake tells us that he sorted things out with Alex. He is actually going to try to be in a proper stable relationship for once. He even took her out to a nice restaurant in town. I couldn't be happier for him. I'm glad that what had happened, with the kiss, was behind us...I hope.
It is our senior trip to Montreal with our school, which is the only school trip that our school had organized on time. Every year the senior class goes on a road trip to Montreal, and is given the chance to explore and roam freely. We were given this opportunity to do whatever we want as "adults"...okay, the real reason for this trip is to celebrate some winter festival that happens every year.
From what we've heard, everyone usually skips out on it and does whatever else they choose. Jake made plans with his football buddies to have a street party for the entire class. Unfortunately, guys and girls aren't allowed to room together for obvious reasons, which means that I would be separated from my two favorite boys. I'll be sharing a hotel room with Alex, since she is the only girl I knew. This trip is supposed to be memorable. It is going to be the last trip of our high school lives and I want it to be special. Neither me, Drew or Jake have spoke about where we are going for college so this is our chance to live it up, have some fun before who knows what could happen.
We are just moments away from boarding the coach buses. It is snowing hard as our teacher Mr. Fritz calls out our names to make sure that everyone is here. We are all standing out in the school's parking lot, against the coach buses. Drew and I are hugging each other tightly keeping each other warm with our large hoods covering our faces, making it hard for us to look at each other. As I attempt to look up from my hood, I get a slight glimpse of Alex cuddling up into Jake's big winter jacket while he holds her close. They are finally acting like a real couple.
After a good hour of yelling out names and possibly gaining frostbite, we finally board the bus. I take the window seat behind Alex and Jake, with Drew resting his head on my shoulder as I stare out the frosty window.
Jake was all over Alex during the ride, giggling and snuggling while giving each other cute little compliments. Maybe I was wrong...maybe Jake is capable of love. It looks as if he is slowly and genuinely beginning to fall for her. It is nice seeing Jake like this for once.
We arrive at Montreal and set out to our hotel rooms. Alex and I have a room that is down the hallway from the boys. We set up our clothing in the drawers and get ourselves settled on our beds.
"So, what do you and Drew have planned for this trip?" Alex asks.
"Hmm, I don't really know. Besides hanging out with you and Jake, we didn't really make any plans for just the two of us. I guess we might go out to dinner somewhere..."
"What about sex?" she asks.
"Oh I know you and Drew have had sex before, okay. So...do you guys have anything special planned...if you know what I mean?"
"...No," I say, nervously.
"Why? Do you?"
"Ha-ha, yeah I do." Alex says, confidently.
"I have a whole night planned...I did all the planning before the trip. I already made reservations at this classy Italian restaurant downtown. As the night goes on, we'll share our first 'I love you' to each other, then come back to the hotel and have some passionate sex...which means you or Drew either need to switch rooms for a night or go out."
"It's been almost four years, and neither of you have shared an 'I love you'?" I ask, in shock.
"Nope...I've been waiting for him to tell me first. Plus, we've never really been this caring for each other before," she says, shyly.
"I even got this..."
Alex reaches into her carrying on and takes out a packet of pills.
"We usually use a condom because I'd get paranoid about getting pregnant but...I thought that things were getting serious enough to stop using them."
"Whoa...how do those work?"
Alex spent a good half hour explaining to me everything she knows about birth control pills. The conversation somehow ends up on the subject of different positions her and Jake have done in bed. And to think, I used to say that she wasn't that type of girl.
"So when do you plan on doing all of this?" I ask her.
"Tomorrow night...I'm so glad that we're finally in a stable relationship!"
It's nice having girl time with Alex. I've never gotten to know her like this before. For our first night there, we all went out to a bar to drink. Drew and I shared a beer since we haven't drank often and probably couldn't even finish a whole beer ourselves. I talk to Drew about going out into town to shop for souvenirs and possibly even check out the winter festival that ran all night, which he gladly obliged to doing. As soon as he agrees, I give Alex the heads up for the next night.
It's the night after and Alex is dressed up beautifully. She is wearing a pretty girly red satin dress; unlike her usual body tight attire she would wear to school. She is wearing thin black leggings and red high heels to match. She has also pinned part of her long blond hair to the side and placed a red rose clip on it. To top it off, she is wearing red lipstick. She looks stunning. If only she had dressed like this at school, then she wouldn't be known for being a slut. Maybe Jake will respect her more? I'm a little jealous as I watch her. I don't think I would ever be able to pull off what she is doing.
I look like a bum compared to Alex as we met up with the boys in the hotel lobby. I'm wearing my regular winter coat over an over-sized sweater, leggings and my dirty winter boats. Alex walks gracefully beside me in her glamorous dress, heels and black trench coat. The look on the boy's faces expresses that they are very much surprised.
"Hey babe," Alex says, walking up to Jake and giving him a peck on the lips.
"I'm starting to understand why we're going out tonight," Drew says, as I come up to hug him.
"Come on, let's have our own fun."
The night went great. We got souvenirs for our families and actually enjoyed the winter festival. They had ice-skating, ice sculpture displays, snowman making contests, and Drew's favorite, a snowboarding show. He even got to meet one of his favorite snowboarders, Aaron March. We ended off the night at around 2am. Thankfully, the weather wasn't as bad as it was back home, so we didn't mind walking back to our hotel, of course, with some of the fine hot chocolate in hand from the festival.
We kiss goodnight as we part ways in the hotel hallway. I enter my room ready to take a hot shower and head to bed, but instead I walk in to find Alex crying in bed, still in her dress from her date.
"Alex, what’s wrong?" I ask her, as I walk up to hug her.
"He...he broke up with me! He...he doesn't love me back Rachel," she cries, weeping onto my shoulder.
"But...things were going so well between you too. I've seen you..."
"He's in love with someone else," she interrupts me, as she lifts her face up.
"I...I told him that I loved him...and he didn't say it back. He said that he didn't want to hurt me anymore because it wasn't right...and he said he was in love...but not with me!" she says, sniffling.
"Do you...um...do you want me to talk to him?" I ask nervously.
"No. You were right before. It's been too long...I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done with him."
Alex reaches into her little black purse and hands me her birth control pills. I shake my head, indicating that I don't want them.
"Well I surely won't be using them. You might as well. One of us should have a happy memory of this trip..." she says, sadly.
I give her another hug. I guess we are starting to become good friends. We stay up for another hour, talking about the boys. She tells me that she is envious of my relationship with Drew. She wants that and is disappointed that Jake had to rip that chance away from her. She also convinces me to take the pills. I engulf the pill that is scheduled for today, as she told me to do so. I'm assuming that this is all her way of trying to be friendly. Neither of us seem to have had any real girl friends at school. Everyone thinks she is a whore. Before me and Drew started to go out people thought that I was a complete tomboy incapable of loving anyone. I went to bed thinking about the birth control pills.
Drew and I hadn't had sex since...well, my first time. We never thought of sex as a routine in our relationship. We cared more about the small things, like holding hands and watching movies together. We just wanted to be with each other.
As I lay in bed, I start thinking about how I would even try to pull off anything Alex has tried. I don't have a special dress, or restaurant reservations, or even sexy lingerie. All I have is plain colored padded bras and hello kitty underwear. I have not come prepared for this trip to have sex.
The next morning, our class went sight seeing around the city. I told Drew that I was going to stick with Alex for the day because of what had happened, and asked him to maybe talk to Jake and see how he was feeling. We went from sight to sight. I sat with Alex at the back of the coach bus while Drew and Jake sat at the front with some of Jake's football buddies. Jake didn't seem to be showing any sort of emotion towards his official breakup since he was singing away with the front of the bus. Alex kept her head down, avoiding looking at Jake as much as possible.
"So, have you decided how you and Drew are going to...you know," Alex asks, referring to the birth control pills she gave me.
"Um, I actually came completely unprepared for it, so maybe you should just take them back." I reply.
"Unprepared? What do you mean?"
I then explain to her my lack of seduction techniques.
"You don't have to go out and do all that bullshit. You guys already share that connection. Just go straight to the sex. And clothing wise, you could borrow something of mine," Alex insists.
When we get back to our hotel, Alex instantly lays out several sexy bras and undies on her bed. Everything is Victoria Secret...figured. She has the body and confidence to pull it off. Once I have chosen an outfit, we begin to discuss how I was going to do this. I engulf another pill, preparing for tonight. Jake was planning to get some booze and party out in the street with his buddies, according to Drew. He calls me, asking if I was going to go. I tell him that I want to stay in his room with him instead, especially since Jake pissed me off a little after hurting Alex again. Also, parties involving Jake always stir up some type of drama. This will be the perfect time to get him alone while everyone was out. No one to walk in on us.
Jake and the rest of class, except me, Drew and Alex, left around ten thirty. The hotel is quiet. Alex stay's in our room watching a bunch of sappy romance movies, while I head off in my sweats to Drew's room.
He opens the door and walks me to the bed where Family Guy is running on TV. We lay together on the bed in each other's arms for a little bit.
"I have to go to the bathroom..." I say, as I get up.
"Hurry back, I think this is the episode where Stewie does that annoying 'mom' thing that you love."
I hurry off into the bathroom, and begin to undress. I pull off my band t-shirt and sweatpants, folding them and placing them on the towel rack. I notice that Drew has left his blue buttoned up polo shirt in here, so I decide to wear that on top, leaving most of the buttons undone showing the black laced bra that I have borrowed from Alex. I am also wearing black-laced panties that match. I like that his shirt is long so it didn't show my undies. It just seems sexier that way. I'm spending a while in here, touching up my hair, tousling it around after curling it and pinning it up back in my room. I have let it down, letting my long dark hair flow out. I pull out some eyeliner from my sweatpants’ pocket and put it on. I stare at myself in the mirror for a bit. My heart is racing. I hope he doesn't get freaked out by all of this.
"Hey Rae, you okay in there?" Drew calls out to me.
I slowly open the bathroom door, and walk out to him.
"Never been better," I reply.
He lies on the bed, stunned as I make my way towards him.
"Well aren't we glad that we didn't go out tonight," he says.
...To be continued.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/broken-triangle-part-3.aspx">Broken Triangle Part 3</a>