The rain was falling in huge drops on the large window as I stared outside, shivering under the soft cotton comforter. I'd dropped my wet black dress at the door and was just in a thin bra and underwear now, crying softly against the pillow as I struggled to focus on the outside world.
I knew there were people that thought they needed me right now, or thought I needed them.
“I'd wondered where you'd run off to, Tin-Tin.” Liam's voice was soft as he spoke from the doorway of my brother's room in the apartment that they'd shared. I could still hear his grief hidden in the husky voice that still made my skin break out into goosebumps, grief or not.
“I felt better being here. I feel closer to him in this room,” I replied, feeling him sit on the bed. “He's still here.”
“Your mom's worried, baby girl,” Liam told me, and I turned slightly to see him sitting beside me in his shirt that he'd worn to the funeral earlier, without the black tie. I didn't need to keep looking to see his messy brown hair and whiskey colored eyes, probably still bloodshot from his earlier tears. I'd memorized his face the moment I'd first seen him ten years ago at the age of thirteen, when he became best friends with Keith. “I'm worried.”
“I miss him,” I said softly, crying harder. “I need him, Li. What can I do to bring him back?” I shivered harder as I started to weep again, and I felt him pull me closer to him with the blanket around me.
“You're fucking freezing, Tinsley. Want me to turn the heater up?” It was an unusually cold day for September on the east Coast and I shook my head as I cried harder.
“No, don't leave me. Please don't leave me,” I begged him, feeling him stroke back my still damp red hair and start to stroke my back as I heard his breath catch in his throat. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, feeling the blanket drop slightly as I buried my face into his neck. My pain was intense and burning, now combining with his scent and I inhaled deeply as I caught the rain and the soap that he'd always used. I loved that smell. It felt like home. I gulped as I felt another rush of tears and pressed my lips to his skin as he stroked further down my back and then back up. Every brush of his fingertips sent heat to my skin, heat that I felt in every nerve ending as I shivered again.
“Still cold,” Liam noted softly, pulling the blanket around both of us as my firm nipples pressed against his chest. He pulled he closer, his hands clenched as I brushed my lips against his neck.
Keith had forbidden us to ever be together once he'd seen the crush in my eyes so long ago, as if our age difference of four years was a big deal. I'd worshipped my brother, but he was gone now and I was wrapped up in tasting the water on his skin. I felt Liam trace his fingers up to my neck and then into my hair as he held me firm. “What are you doing, baby girl?”
“I'm not a baby girl. You know that,” I shot back, unable to move my head.
“What are you starting here?” Liam asked, pulling my head back to meet his hooded eyes. “I want to comfort you, but you're in this bed wearing practically nothing and making me crazy enough to consider leaving you here alone.”
“No. Please.” Tears filled my big blue eyes as he stared at me for several seconds before dropping his eyes to our bodies pressed together. He wiped them away with his free hand, tracing my lower lip gently with his thumb as it trembled and drew in a ragged breath.
“He always told me to never lay a hand on you,” Liam told me before he kissed me, still holding my head firm as I pulled him closer. He tilted my head almost painfully to deepen it, but the pain and sensation of his tongue parting my lips only made me gasp into his mouth. The kiss heated up and took us both over, our desire evident in the way our lips met in long hungry kisses and locked together. “Wrap your legs around my waist,” Liam told me as he pulled me close, picking me up as I did. “I just can't do this here, but I want you so goddamn bad it hurts right now.”
We kissed again as he walked us across the hallway, not parting as he kicked the door open and his scent filled the room. I was reminded of the many nights I'd spent fantasizing about him and just watching him in here, just hanging out like the quiet little sister. Liam dropped me onto his king sized mattress, looking me over with hungry eyes. “I watched you grow up into this, develop into the sexiest girl I've ever seen.” He traced down my neck and over my breasts, full and perky as I sucked in my breath. My dark pink nipples were prominent and he stroked them firmly as I moaned his name. “I thought a lot about tasting you and touching you, well into the nights I was at your house for the night as well as the ones that you were here.”
I moved up to kiss him, holding his hand in place as he pinched my nipple firmly. We pressed together as he kept his hand between us, kissing deeply as he found the clasp to the bra. He kissed my lips hard before moving down my neck and sliding off the bra, making me moan again and reach for the buttons on his shirt. I struggled with them and desperately tugged it open, sending them flying as his mouth circled my nipple and traced it with his tongue. “Fucking hell, Tin.” He sucked it into his mouth, gripping it with his teeth as heat flooded my thighs and made my legs tremble. He teased me for a while, moving to my other nipple and I touched whatever skin I could find before he tossed me back onto the mattress to admire the red marks on my skin.
Liam ripped off the shirt and dropped his pants, kicking them off as his eyes dropped down my body. He dragged my hand to cover his erection as he spread my legs with his knees. “This is what you do to me. This is what you've always done to me.” He was perfect to look at and I stroked him as he ripped off my lace underwear and inhaled them deeply. “I'm keeping these,” he informed me, making my eyes go wide at the suggestion of this stopping and being forgotten. “Oh, baby. Don't give me that look. I just want to remember this night. I think we both know that this isn't over.”
Liam kissed me again, pinning my arms above my head with one hand as he stroked my thighs slowly with another, his tongue darting deeply between my parting lips. I wept as he traced over my folds, giving in to the intense rush of emotions that filled me as well as the pressure. I wasn't going to last. His fingers separated them and he fingered my swollen clit as I gasped and rocked against him. “Inside of me, Liam. Please. I need both.”
“Demanding, aren't you?” Liam asked huskily, thrusting a finger slowly inside of me as my back arched. “I am going to fuck you first, Tinsley. It's going to be hard and what we both need, and then I am going to make love to you. Equal parts. I want you to scream my name the first one.”
Liam added a finger and stroked my hard nub faster, making me close my eyes and cry out as I exploded against the hand I'd always imagined as I used my own with his face in my mind. Liam fingered me one more time, sliding through my wet entrance before he brought his hand to his lips and sucked the finger between them. “Damn it, you taste good.” He covered me with his body, our heated damp skin sliding together as he kissed me slowly. I tasted myself on him and sucked on his lip as he shoved his boxers down his body and kicked them off. “You. Are. Mine,” Liam told me, sliding inside of me looked into his eyes. He paused as if to let me adjust, and I rocked my hips to bring him deeper.
“I'm not a virgin, Li. I can take it,” I urged him, watching him scowl.
“I know. I was so pissed off when I heard about you and Miles.” Liam growled as he thrust himself to the hilt, filling me and staying as I gasped out loud. “It took everything I had not to kick his ass when he made you cry that day he fucked around with that whore. I wanted to take you into my arms and do this, show you what it's like to be treated well.”
He pulled back and thrust back in, and my body responded by meeting his every move, our bodies molding together. It was a frenzy as time passed and he moaned as he clenched my ass and drove deeper into me. “Come for me, Tinsley. I can't hold on anymore.” One brush of his fingers against my clit had me screaming his name, flooding him as I felt him throb and slow his movements until he cried my name out. He emptied himself inside of me, moaning and breathing until he collapsed against me and traced my sides with his fingers.
Liam settled himself on my chest, sliding down between my legs as I wrapped them loosely around him. One thumb traced over my nipple as he propped his chin on his free hand and looked into my eyes. “Is it wrong to say how much I've wanted that?”
“I feel the same way,” I admitted, stroking his hair slowly and firmly. “I noticed that...well, you went bare.”
“I'm clean and I know you're on the pill as well as clean. You're a good girl, Tin-Tin,” Liam said confidently and I arched an eyebrow at him. “I am always protected but this was you. I needed to feel all of you, though we can use something of you want to next time.”
“You're right. I'm protected,” I told him, realizing that he must have looked in the bathroom cabinet or...something. I blushed. “So do you think you'll stay here?” I gazed around the room that I was so familiar with as I soaked in his presence, ignoring the weight from the empty room across the hallway.
“I've been talking about that with people. I have options,” Liam told me thoughtfully, staring at me.
“Such as?” My body was throbbing as I spoke, my voice trembling.
“My parents offered to let me stay there, but they're a whole state away. Some friends offered, as well as your parents.” Liam looked curiously at me. “Remember when I lived there for a while in college?”
Of course I did. I'd never masturbated so much in my entire life. “Yeah, I do,” I replied, my cheeks flushing red as he grinned wickedly.
“You too? I spent way too much time in the shower over there,” Liam admitted, and my eyes widened. “Mom asked me to stay there and save up for my own house. It would be kind of like staying here, since he's all over the place but with a lot less alone time.” He eyed me curiously as his brow lifted, causing my insides to clench again. “Think I could talk her into letting me share your room?”
“Oh god,” I murmured, shaking my head. “She adores you, but that's pushing it.”
“I can't leave this town. You're here,” Liam said to me, and my hand moved down to stroke his cheek. “I was wearing him down, Tinsley. I was going to ask you out, but then...that happened and here we are.”
I'd waited years to hear those words, or at least some variation of them. Certainly not this one. My eyes filled with tears as I looked into his gorgeous face. I could never regret what we just did whether or not it never happened again, but his words gave me some peace.
We dressed in a couple of his shirts and shorts and ordered pizza, sitting on the couch as we shared our favorite memories of my brother. I laughed and cried equally, burying my head into his chest again as he pulled me close. He'd called my family and told them where I was and that he'd stay with me tonight.
We cleaned up and I glanced around the apartment as he took my hand and led me down the hallway to his room. Liam paused and grabbed my dress, closing Keith's door firmly as we shared a long look. He pulled me into his room, leaning down an inch to kiss my lips sweetly as I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Equal parts, Tins. Now I want to make love to you and fall asleep with you in my arms.”
We took it slowly this time, stripping and kissing each other in turn. I came in his mouth, against the stroke of his tongue before pushing him onto his back. I kissed his neck, biting under his earlobe when I realized that it was his spot. I traced down his chest with my short nails lightly before following with my tongue, circling his small firm nipples with my tongue before I took one between my teeth and sucked as he groaned.
Taking him into my mouth slowly, I watched as he grimaced and arched his back with his eyes on my face. Thick and firm, he filled my mouth as I moved further, entering my throat. He still tasted like me, like us. I moaned as I moved up and down, slow and fast. I used my hand when he asked me to, taking him deep and hard when I knew that he was close. Liam gripped my hair as he shot inside my mouth and I swallowed, calling my name as he rocked slowly against me. “Amazing, baby. You're amazing,” Liam whispered, our gazes meeting as he looked at me in wonder. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I told him, knowing that I had for some time. It was fast but it wasn't. It was just right in a world that felt so wrong to both of us right now. I moved over him, kissing him until he hardened with my grinding against him slowly with a dripping core, lifting my body and slipping him inside of me.
It was slow and steady, with him pulling into him for a kiss and we moved together in perfect sync. I moved up to ride him harder, still keeping it sweet as he slipped one hand over my breast as the other rested against my hip. His eyes were dark and intense on me as I bit my lip, feeling him deep inside of me as my emotions rose and tumbled back down with my heart as I fell even harder for him.
“Liam...so close,” I whispered, pressing my hands into his chest as I moved slightly harder. “Baby. Yes.” I called out his name as I came for the fourth time that night, softer but with just as much effect to my shaking body. He yanked me down for a kiss, taking over with slow thrusts until he released inside of me, his thighs shaking as he slipped his tongue into my mouth.
He turned us to our sides, pulling me close as he kissed me slowly and stroked my body with his hand. “We're going to make it through this together, you and I. He knew that I loved you and I like to think that he approves of us...wherever he is.”
“He does,” I assured Liam, kissing him again as I slipped one arm around his waist and the other over his chest
I fell asleep in his arms that night with the rain falling against the window and the ghosts of my past in my heart, feeling some semblance of hope.
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