We sit on the couch watching Lord of The Rings. I don’t know why, but you make me so nervous. We have talked for hours, I trust you completely, and you know everything about me. So why do you make me so anxious?
We’re just sitting there in our comfortable clothes, watching the movie. We had decided to have a movie day to watch the entire trilogy. We’d ordered pizza and refused to move from the couch. We both needed this day together, a day free of stress, of only enjoyment. I’d already made your favorite dessert as best I could, and tried to get the chocolate sauce to cover the vanilla ice cream evenly. As Return of The King plays my courage builds. Maybe it’s Pippin’s hobbit logic, or your intoxicating scent. I’m still undecided as I put my arm around your shoulders. Holding my breath and feeling like a boy, I wait for your reaction. I’m sure you hear me let my breath out, because as I do you just look up at me and smile.
My heart skips a beat and I’m pretty sure you can tell. I can see in your face how you enjoy watching me squirm. My heart is racing and my legs are shaking, but my courage peaks at that moment. I have decided to kiss you. Miraculously, my courage holds. My hand lifts your face to mine as I gently press my lips to yours. The moments I wait to see if you’ll kiss me back seem to drag on forever. Right before my courage fails, you begin to kiss me back.
Our first kiss is all I could hope for. It’s not fast, or hard. It is slow, lazy, and full of you. I can feel you in your kiss. We take our time as we softly explore each other. I have said that time stops when you look into the eyes of the one you love, and it is only when you blink that time catches up. This is proven true as we part and the real world suddenly makes itself known again. The movie is still playing. Our dirty dishes still litter the coffee table. You snuggle closer to me as we sit back against the couch. I wrap my arms around you as you cushion your head on my chest. In this moment everything is perfect, nothing other than the feeling of you against me matters.
I awake to the find the dvd menu on a loop and you fast asleep on my chest. You look so perfect and peaceful there. You stir as I can’t help but play with your hair, before cuddling deeper into the circle of my arms. I lean down and whisper how perfect this feels into your ear before you look up at me with cloudy eyes and a sleepy smile. You probably don’t know how much that smile lights up my night. I feel you shiver as you try to bury yourself in my warmth and get away from the increasingly cold room. Kissing you quickly and ignoring your groan of protest and puppy eyes, I get up in search of a blanket. As I find one I hear you come up behind me. I find you standing in the doorway, arms folded, looking wonderful with a look of happiness on your face. I smile as I walk to you and wrap the blanket around your shoulders. You just smile softly as I playfully compliment your blanket-wrapped figure, and sink into my arms. As I look into your eyes I see the trust only few ever receive, compassion that knows no bounds, and love that no words can describe. You grab my hand as you slip away, and intertwine our fingers together. It feels just right.
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