March brought a lot of wind and rain, and Ryan felt like she'd walked through it all on her way home from work. She went into her apartment, hoping the quiet would alleviate her headache. It had been a hell of a day, but it was Friday and it was over. She tried to concentrate on that as she went to her room to change.

Things were moving along for the band. They'd found a lawyer through Trout's father, and a manager; Ryan was relieved to cross those items off her list. She had wrestled with the question of finding a new guitarist, but with the tour so close, she decided she had to drop it. The odds of finding someone now, who could learn the songs and take the time necessary for the tour, were slim at best. In addition, with the four of them meshing so well, it seemed foolish to introduce an unknown quantity.

Ryan sat down and rubbed her forehead. She needed to relax; tomorrow was Imaginary Grace's performance at the D.C. food festival. Their luck had been mixed at previous gigs. They'd been fine at the Birchmere in January, if not as good as at the 9:30 Club back in December. Ryan knew they couldn't expect every show to go as well as that one, but she could hope and it gave them something to aim for.

"Okay, calm down," she ordered herself. With her thoughts jumbled, she picked her guitar and sat on the couch. Sometimes just noodling on the guitar with no real purpose helped her calm down and think.

Her thoughts wandered to her job and apartment. She had some leave built up and could probably arrange some unpaid time, but she didn't think that would cover it all. She wasn't sure whether she'd have to give up the apartment. She'd need a roommate to keep it, but in her circles, living arrangements were in a constant state of flux. Ryan figured she could put the word out that she was looking for a roommate, or a new place to live, and she'd hear back from someone.

Her parents might let her come back for a bit, although the mere thought raised her blood pressure. She crossed that off her list of possibilities.

Brody would let her crash for a while if she asked, she supposed. She'd hardly talked to him in the last week; he'd had home and road games and she'd been busy with work and the band. She huffed out a breath. She missed him and was frustrated that they hadn't been able to connect.

Wasn't this just what she'd told Lara the problem would be? That she wouldn't have time for a relationship? And wouldn't Lara just be smug and pleased with herself to see Ryan having fits over this? Because what else could it mean except that Ryan had it bad for Brody?

Ryan laid the guitar across her lap. Her relationship with Brody weighed on her more than anything else. Brody was terrific; he listened to her, he never made her feel as though she was wasting her time on the band, and she was going to miss him when they went on tour. Her fear, which she wouldn't even admit to Lara, was that he wouldn't be there when she came back. They'd gotten past one rough patch, but surely others lay ahead.

She heard a knock on the door and set her guitar aside to go answer it. "Hey." She smiled, pleased to see Brody.

"Hi." He came in and gathered her in for a kiss. "I thought you were going to call me after you got home."

"Oh, I was. I'm sorry." She leaned against him. "I just got distracted. It was a long day and I was beat when I got home. I still have a headache."

"You should take something for that. Do you have anything?" He rubbed her back.

"Yeah, good idea. And it'll probably help if I eat something."

"How did I know you hadn't eaten?" He shook his head. "Look, go take something for your head and then we'll go to my place. You probably don't have anything here anyway."

"Okay." Ryan didn’t have the energy to argue. She went to the bathroom and found some Tylenol. She took two out to the kitchen and downed them with a glass of water.

"Good to go?" Brody asked.

She nodded and grabbed her guitar before leaving.

Back at his place, he reheated some food and insisted she have seconds. She smiled and gave in; it was nice to have someone look out for her.

"So, what's wrong?" Brody asked after she'd finished.

"Nothing's wrong, exactly." Ryan pushed her plate away and sat back in her chair. "There's just a lot going on with the tour and everything else. Lara's moving in with Trout after the tour, for one thing."

"I heard you say something about that to Evan. What are you going to do?"

Ryan shrugged. "She's mentioned it before, and I knew it would happen, so now it's a matter of dealing with it. Our lease is up soon anyway so it's good timing. I'll start asking around soon; someone must need a roommate, they always seem to."

"Could you stay with your parents until you find something?"

She looked at him, her expression one of confusion and hurt. "Brody, I thought you liked me."

He laughed. "Okay, okay. I take it back."

"I could probably go stay with my parents if I wanted to subject myself to psychological trauma."

"Don't do that. I don’t want you traumatized."

"I don't know. Maybe it would trigger some new songs." She shook her head. "No; no song is worth that."

"Anything else bothering you?" He stood and took the dishes over to the sink. Ryan followed with the glasses.

"I think I'm just overwhelmed, like I said. This tour—we've been wanting something like this since we started. But now it's real."

"You expected it not to be real?"

"No." She gave him a half-hearted glare. "It's just when I thought about it before, it all seemed so clear and easy. I didn't think about whether I'd have to sublet my apartment, or quit my job, or anything else. I decided I'm going to have to quit. I'll take my vacation time and all, but that's not enough."

"That’s tough. Think you'll be able to find something else?"

"Probably. I mean, I have nothing against waiting tables or whatever. And I had a lot of people at work tell me they'd put in a good word and all when I got back. It's even possible I could work for the same place, but I'd have to go through all the hoops again."

"That's all good to know," Brody said.

"It is. It's still pretty daunting. I did quit a job once before when we put a tour together ourselves. I stayed long enough to save up some money, but I knew it wouldn't last there anyway so I didn't feel bad about leaving." They finished with the dishes and closed the dishwasher. Ryan turned to face him and leaned against the counter. "It was a lot easier in the abstract."

Brody slid his arms around her. "A lot of things are, but the reality can be fun, too."

"I know." She looked up. "Going out with you for real is fun."

"I'm flattered."

Ryan nodded. "See, I worried that the abstract would be better, so it took a while for me to be convinced—" She laughed at the look on his face, but then gasped as he tightened his grip on her and swooped down for a kiss.

He held her close, keeping one hand around her waist and sliding the other one up her back until he cupped the back of her head. Ryan parted her lips on instinct and grabbed his arms to keep her balance.

After a deep, thorough kiss, Brody looked at her. "Abstract is overrated."

She laughed and linked her hands behind his neck. "Point taken. Reality with you is better. Reality with the rest of my life is pretty stressful."

"Here, let me help." Brody nuzzled her neck and she giggled.

"That feels really good. You must be stressed too, with the playoffs coming up."

"Yeah, but remember—I am all about stress release." With that, he reached for the waistband of Ryan's jeans.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Ryan started to back away but he trapped her against the counter and kissed her again. Her stomach fluttered in anticipation as one of his hands slid inside her jeans and between her legs.

"Releasing stress. Weren't you listening?" He smiled against her lips and chuckled when she tightened her hands on his arms.

Ryan dropped her head against his chest and bit her lip.

Her hips rocked against his hand, even in her awkward position, and she felt the heat and tension building. She looked up and before she could say anything, Brody's lips were on hers. His free hand moved under her shirt and pushed her bra out of the way without bothering to unhook it in the back.

He kept his mouth on hers and moaned in appreciation as he cupped her breast. Ryan shivered as he stroked his thumb over her nipple. When he tore his lips away and nipped at her neck, she drew in a shaky breath. She murmured his name and felt the hand between her legs move faster, bringing her closer to coming. She wanted to touch him, to kiss him, but he had her trapped against the counter.

The wave built and crashed. She let out a cry and her nails dug into his arm as she came, gasping for breath as his hand kept moving. At last he stopped, although he left his hand in place as they both took a minute to collect themselves.

Ryan started to reach for him, but he stepped back, pulling her away from the counter.

"What?" She couldn't think straight.

"Nothing." He kissed her as he slid her jeans down over her hips. "We just need to readjust."

"What?"

"Turn around."

She did, smiling to herself as she realized what he meant. She kicked her jeans off and felt him behind her, warm and hard. His breathing was ragged as he guided himself into her; he slid in and wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him for a moment before he began thrusting against her.

Ryan braced her arms on the counter, moving against him as best she could. He ran a hand over her back, then leaned forward and placed his lips over the pulse in her neck. She came again as he sucked on her skin, gasping as her body clamped around him. He made a noise of approval, at least she thought so, before urging her to turn her head so he could kiss her.

His hands moved down to her hips, gripping her hard and he had pull his mouth from hers as the pace of his thrusts increased. Ryan bit her lip as he tightened his fingers around her as he came, growling her name as he pressed against her. She was out of breath and could tell he was too.

She wasn’t sure how long it was until he moved. He turned her around and held her close. When she felt steady enough to open her eyes, Ryan couldn’t stifle a laugh at how they both looked with clothes askew.

"Don’t crush my ego like that, sweetheart." Brody glanced at her as he pulled up his jeans.

"Don't worry. It's just the situation, not the company." Ryan shook out her own jeans and stepped into them.

"That's good." Brody tucked his shirt back in and reached for her. "I hope you're feeling less stressed now."

"Definitely."

"Good. Come on." He tugged her into the living room. "There's a new 'Iron Chef America' on tonight."

x-x-x-x

Brody woke up and turned over, then opened his eyes when he realized Ryan wasn't there. He hoped she hadn't gone back to her place, but then he heard her guitar. He pushed himself up and reached for a pair of sweatpants.

Brody smiled as the notes trickled back to the bedroom; he loved watching and hearing her play. It still amazed him that the music she played was hers, that she had taken all the notes and arranged them in a way no one else had.

They'd watched a movie after dinner, or part of one. He'd gotten too distracted by watching her experiment with songs on her guitar. Her fingers had moved over the strings, which led him to consider how they'd feel moving over him, and then it was a matter of convincing her to try that. It hadn't taken much convincing, he recalled with a smile. For all that, he was sure something else was on her mind. After asking once, he'd let it drop, figuring she'd bring it up when she was ready.

He covered a yawn as he went into the living room. Ryan sat on the floor with her guitar, staring out the window as her fingers moved over the strings. She'd turned on one lamp but the room was otherwise dark.

"Is this a private gig, or can I come in?"

She smiled. "Hi. Sorry if I woke you."

He sat down facing her. "No, you didn't. I just woke up and heard you playing."

"I couldn't sleep."

"All that stress release and you couldn’t sleep?" He raised an eyebrow. "What did I do wrong?"

"That's no comment on you." She laid the guitar across her lap. "I was quite relaxed for a while. Then, I don't know, I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."

"Still worried about the tour?"

"That's part of it."

"What's the rest of it?"

Ryan dropped her gaze to the floor, then looked at him. "Us."

Brody was silent for a minute, fighting off a rising nervous feeling. After last night—after everything until now—she wasn't going to break it off, was she? He tried to keep his voice light. "What about us?"

She took a deep breath and toyed with the ends of her hair. "I'm going to miss you."

Brody was relieved. "I'll miss you, too. I think that's how it usually works."

"I didn't expect to get involved with anyone. When I said earlier about all the stuff I thought of when I dreamed about a tour, I was always unattached. Now I'm not."

"Is that a bad thing?"

She smiled. "No, not at all. I just don't know, though. I've never done a relationship long-distance. I don't know how serious we are. I didn't know if you'd want to break it off before I left."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"People do. Mitch broke up with his girlfriend and the tour's still a few weeks off. You have the playoffs coming up, and I won't be there to see, at least not all of it. Maybe none of it, and it's the thing you've worked the hardest for. I'd understand if that made you mad." She picked up the guitar again and ran her fingers over the strings, eliciting faint notes that faded quickly.

"Ryan, come here." She leaned the guitar on the chair next to her and slid close enough for him to take her hands in his. "If I wanted someone who'd be there every minute, I'd have found someone like that. I like the fact that you have this goal for yourself, and I'm really excited you have the tour."

"Really?"

"Yes." He squeezed her hands. "Look, I admit things between us took me by surprise. I didn't expect it to get the way it is."

She raised an eyebrow. "And what way is that?"

He chuckled. "You're a tough one. Okay, I give. We're serious. More serious than I expected."

"Yeah." She gave a quick laugh. "Lara's been hitting me over the head with that question for weeks now. I'm in for tons of 'I told you so's. But that's okay. I didn't expect it to get serious either. I don't mind, though."

"Me, neither." He pulled her a little closer and leaned in to kiss her. After, he urged her to sit next to him and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You won't be the only one with friends giving you a hard time. Bax and my brother have been telling me practically since I met you that I was done for."

Ryan laughed. "They make me sound so dangerous."

"I figured I'd better be careful with you, or you'd send Annette and the Minnows after me. They'd string me up with all those fishnet stockings."

That set Ryan off in a fit of giggles that only worsened when Brody pretended not to understand what was so funny.

"Oh, hey, I have something for you." He dropped a kiss on her forehead and got up. He went into his room and came back with a plastic bag. "Here, I don't wrap stuff." He dropped down beside her again.

"You're such a guy," Ryan chided him, but took the bag. She opened it and took out a stuffed rabbit. "What's this?"

"You don't like him?" Brody had found a fuzzy purple rabbit in a store, and it had reminded him of her good-luck scarf.

"It's adorable." Ryan petted it and then gave him a puzzled look. "But why did you get me a rabbit? Easter's not for a couple of weeks."

"For luck." He nudged her. "It has all four feet, so that has to be lucky, right?"

Ryan stared at him for a moment, then threw her arms around him. "Thanks."