Jenny

What are you supposed to do when the one who use to mean the whole world to you, cheats on you and then later, comes begging for your forgiveness when you have already moved on?

Douglas has been sending me texts after texts begging to meet with me to talk.

I have been ignoring them.

Can I face him? I don’t know if I can. Do I want to find out? Not really. Am I happy with Jacob? Of course I am.

Jacob is… He is amazing. He knows how to cook and he gives incredible massages.

We play these little truth and dare games, and who ever loses, does whatever the winner wants.

He lost two times.

I begin to miss him and wish that he could be here with me, but he is at work. I’ll see him tonight though.

I smile while thinking of him.

*beep beep*

I unlock my phone and open the text from Douglas.

*Incoming text message from Douglas*

Jenny, why won’t you talk to me?

I sigh and let my head fall back so I am looking at the ceiling.

I can’t avoid him forever. Maybe if I agree to meet him, he’ll stop texting me every day and we can finally let go of the past.

*beep beep*

I unlock my phone again and open the next text from Douglas.

*Incoming text message from Douglas*

Please Jenny. Talk to me before I go crazy…

I let out another sigh.

*Text message to Douglas*

If I meet with you, will you finally leave me alone?

*Incoming text message from Douglas*

Yeah…

I stare at the text for a whole minute before answering.

*Text message to Douglas*

Fine. Meet me at the park near my place in an hour.

*Incoming text message from Douglas*

Okay. Thank you, Jenny.

I sigh out loud for the third time and close my eyes.

An hour later, I am walking to the park that is five minutes away from my place, to meet with Douglas for, hopefully, the last time.

For some reason, the closer I get to the park, the more nervous I become.

The five minute walk to the park goes faster than I wanted. I see Douglas sitting at a bench with his back turned to me.

Should I be relieved that he’s not facing this way?

I walk up to the bench and sit near the edge of the bench, keeping my distance. Douglas stares at me while I sit there, not saying a word. Just staring.

I avoid looking at him for a while and keep my gaze fixed on the tree a few feet away from us.

“Jenny,” he says. He clears his throat, “You… you look good.”

I stare at him. He looks like he hasn’t had a good sleep in a while.

“You look horrible.”

He looks away, and I feel bad for him.

“I miss you like crazy, Jenny,” he confesses.

I feel something pull at my heart. I don’t say anything and neither does he for a few moments.

“You know. I regret what I did. That day… It’s burned into my memory. I can’t get the image of you crying out of my head…”

I stay quiet and continue to stare at the tree.

“Can you…” he sighs, and I turn to look at him.

“Can you forgive me, Jenny?”

Something pulls at my heart again. I sigh.

“I forgive you,” I say, and his eyes light up. Hopeful.

Something pulls at my heart harder this time and my tear escapes my eyes and free-falls down my cheeks.

“But I can’t go back to you,” I continue, and wipe the tears from my cheeks.

The light in his eyes go off and he looks down at his hands.

“You moved on.”

It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Another tear fall down and I wipe it again.

“I still love you, Jenny.”

I stare at him and more tears fall.

“You hurt me,” I tell him, and he stares at me with pained eyes.

“I’m sorry Jenny. I never meant to…”

Kids are screaming with laughter from a distance as they race to the swings.

“Do you still love me?” he asks.

More tears fall and I wipe them again.

“You’re my first love, Douglas. Of course I still love you.”

There is silence for a few moments.

“Please, give me another chance,” he begs as tears fall from his eyes and runs down his face.

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Douglas slides off the bench and kneels down on the ground next to me. His eyes pleading. His tears falling. And my heart is breaking.

“Please Jenny. I don’t know how to go another day without you,” he sobs.

My hand itches to touch his face and wipe his tears away.

I curl my hand into fists and fight the itch. My nails poke into my palm and my tears fall.

“Please…” he begs and rests his head on my knees.

He is sobbing and I want to comfort him.

There’s a war in my head. Comfort him, pleads my heart.Don’t do it, says my head. My heart and my head fight, and my heart wins.

I touch his head and he looks up at me.

“I love you, Jenny.”

I wipe his tears and rests my hand on his face. He turns and kisses my palm then holds my hand to his face.

“What am I going to do with you Douglas?” I say, as tears fall down my face.

“Come back to me. Give me another chance to make it right.”

I look away and remove my hand from his face.

“I can’t.”

“Because of Jacob?” he says, with disgust clearly written on his face when he says Jacob’s name.

“Yes,” I reply and stare at him.

“Why him? Why him out of everyone?”

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

“Do you love him?” he asks.

“I don’t know yet,” I reply.

“Leave him while you still can,” he says.

I stare at him. Open my mouth then close it again, not sure what to say.

“Leave him while you don’t love him yet.”

“And go back to you, right?” I say. “That’s what you want me to do? Break Jacob’s heart like you broke mine, and go back to you.”

He holds my hand.

“It’s not too late, Jenny. We can still make this work,” he pleads.

I pull my hand away and move a little farther away from him.

“Things have changed Jacob. We can’t go back to how it was before. I wish we can, but when you’re not around, all I’ll be wondering is if you’re cheating on me again. I can’t do that. I can’t live like that, Douglas.”

I stand up.

“Let this be the last time we see each other,” I say coldly, even though my heart keeps breaking.

I walk away, tears running down my face.

“Jenny!” he calls out.

I walk faster and wipe my tears. He catches up and grabs a hold of my wrist and turns me around to face him. He does it fast; his lips is on my lips and he holds my face tight, not letting go.

I try pushing him, but he is too strong. He licks my lips and I try to push him away again.

He tries to force his way in and he is successful. His tongue flicks around in my mouth, demanding that I reciprocate.

I try pushing him again and this time, I am successful. My fist connects his face and he stumbles back, stunned.

My knuckles throb and I am furious with him.

He touch his face and steps toward me. I take a step back to keep the distance between us but he reaches for my arm and pulls me toward him. He hugs me tight so I won’t be able to hit him again.

“Let me go Douglas,” I say with clenched teeth.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

He is always saying sorry. It’s starting to lose it’s meaning.

“Let. Me. Go.” I enunciate each word slowly.

“Please,” he says. “Just… let me stay like this for a little more, then I will let you go,” his voice breaks on the last word.

Despite how furious I am at him for kissing me and despite my throbbing knuckles, my heart aches for him. I relax my body and he loosens his hold on me when he realize that I won’t run.

“I love you Jenny,” he says, hoarsely. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for being a jerk and most of all, I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate what I had til I lost it,” his voice breaks.

He hides his face in my hair and he cries. With a mind of it’s own, my arms raise and hugs him back. He cries more and hugs me tighter against him.

Knives stabs me through my heart as he cries and I find it hard to breathe. I realize after a while that, I too, am crying.

Crying for the past that will never continue. Crying for the love that was ruined. Crying for Douglas because despite how he had hurt me, I still love him. Crying because I am feeling guilty for embracing Douglas back. Crying because I don’t want to hurt Jacob like how I was hurt.

We stay in that embrace for a while, oblivious to all the kids running and laughing around.

It’s like we are stuck in our own world as everything continues to move.

You would think that a break up like this, a love broken and sadness filling your body, the world will stop and slow down for you to recover, but nothing slows down. Not even for love. Not for sadness. Not for us. Not for anyone.

*Author's Note: This is the end of Douglas and Jenny's story. But there is still Jacob and Jenny's story that hasn't been told yet, comment below if you want me to continue with Jacob and Jenny's story. Thank you all for reading!*