Diary entry #142: July 3, 2011
It’s now six in the morning. I turned eighteen at midnight, so for six hours now it has been my birthday.
Happy Birthday to me! Yay!
Today, I am going to give myself a birthday present. I am going to do something I have never done. Do something many of my now older friends say is “the bomb.” They’ve all been doing it for at least two years now. Many even tried to make me join in a session with them at sleepovers when we were sixteen. I just could never make myself join them.
I liked to watch though.
So, after the party my mom has put together for me and everybody is gone, I am going to do it. It’ll just be me by myself in my room.
Even though I am now eighteen, I am finally going to feel myself for the first time.Diary entry #143: July 4, 2011
OMFG! Now I understand why my friends still feel themselves!
Yesterday, after my birthday party, I went to my room and did what I said I was going to do. I have to admit, I felt so vulnerable as I stripped and then stood nude in my room. Yeah, I know I had stood naked in my room many times before, but I actually felt like I was going to get caught doing something I was not supposed to be doing.
Still, I went on as planned.
I wanted to see what I looked like as I touched myself. I closed my sliding glass mirrored closet doors and stood in front of them. I had often stood in front of them naked before, but never had I used them to watch myself touch my private area. As I stood there looking at my naked self, I felt a strange tingle between my legs I had never felt. And it felt really good.
Then, my whole body began to get warm. I knew what it was. It was arousal. I was thinking with anticipation of what I was about to do and my body began to react.
I stood there letting the feeling consume me, feeling my arousal for essentially the first time reach my sensual spots. I felt it in my small breasts even and looked at them in the mirror and literally saw my nipples get hard. It was AMAZING! My nipples had been hard before by cold water, but to literally watch and feel them rise because of hot desire, that is totally different. And with them pointing off of A cups, God the look!
I sure did love having small breasts!
Then there was a tingling feeling between my legs. This time running deeper, causing me to feel a tickling flow. The flow was hotter than what happened each month. I was used to that feeling. This was more of a burning sensation that coupled with wonderful pangs exploding delicately inside my body.
I actually thought something was wrong with me. If it had not been for my best friend, I would have never known. I was getting wet.
I had to look at my pussy. I so wanted to see what I looked like wet. I got down on the floor in front of the mirrored closet doors and spread my legs as wide as I could. I could not see anything. It was just the same straight up and down little seam I had always seen when I took off my panties.
Nothing new to me.
But, something told me to touch it. Like I had to peel myself open. I watched as my hand went between my legs and slowly, spread my tiny divide open. Yes, I said tiny because it was, in my opinion.
And there it was. The flow I felt. Yes, I was wet. The glistening there between my legs was proof.
What happened next will have to wait until tomorrow. It’s late now and I am getting tired.Diary entry #144: July 5, 2011
Okay, ready for more?
I could not believe how wet my tiny slit was! It was also extremely pink inside.
It was so pretty though. Reminded me of a soft pink rose.
At the many sleepovers when me and my friends were sixteen, I remember watching my girlfriends and seeing how pink theirs were. And I also remember the different sized pussies as well. That’s why I never wanted to join. I had always been on the small side. I did not want to be embarrassed. Okay, I admit, I am beginning to sound like a guy here. What I am trying to say is, well, I am a normal girl with the normal parts, just small breasted and tiny lipped between the legs as opposed to my friends.
At first, I was not sure how to feel myself.
Was I supposed to just jam my finger right inside or was I just supposed to rub? I had seen my friends do both. For some reason, starting out with a finger inside did not sound so inviting. I decided to rub the top of my slit instead.
I am so glad I did.
The moment I touched the top tender fold of my sensual spot, my body jerked and I felt tiny stinging prickles all over my body. Now I know why my best friend always rubbed the top of hers. The feeling was out of this world!
I watched in the mirror as my hand rubbed the top of my pussy. My tiny crease moving up and down as I rubbed. I actually could feel it moving as I rubbed. Watching my small lips go up and down was also stimulating. I had no idea one could see and feel it so well.
Then I felt something else under my fingers I had never felt before. The sensations that went through me as I felt it were immeasurable.
ABSOLUTELY EYE POPPING!
However, the feeling scared me and I stopped rubbing because I thought something was wrong with my body.
As I looked at my sexual place in the mirrored doors, I saw how my inner lips, once hidden inside my tiny slit, were now puckered and showing. And wet! I was wetter than when I first started. I knew it was because of feeling my upper portion and what hid beneath my fingers there that scared me. Then it hit me what it was.
It was my clit.
Something I had never felt before, but remember my best friend telling me about. I wondered if I could see mine. I had to find out.
Slowly, I let my finger touch the covering over my clit. Again, the stinging sensations began as I felt the small piece of my pussy that sent such tingles through my body. I rubbed over it a couple of times and then finally tried to poke it out. And I did.
FUCK the feeling as my lips at the top parted to reveal it! DAMN!
I literally felt my tender lips slip from around it and my clit showed itself as I watched in the mirror. It was so small. It was also so pink. It was also wet! It was hard to imagine that something so small could literally send such intense pulses rushing through a woman. I touched it since it was visible and I almost fell over on the floor!
When I touched it, I also saw my opening constrict, and felt it draw inside. It felt like my opening was closing in on itself. Then it relaxed and I watched the moisture drip out slightly. That was sexy as hell to watch because I was doing what my then sixteen year old friends did as I would watch them at the sleepovers. After all the feeling they had done, their internal combustion erupted as well, all oozing with pussy juice. Although always more than what I had now. A lot more.
I wondered if I had the same amount as them now as they did then?
We’ll see. That will be another entry tomorrow.Diary entry #145: July 6, 2011
It is safe to say that I had no idea what the fuck I was doing to myself, but I was having fun experimenting that was for sure.
Sounds stupid for an eighteen year old girl doesn't it?
I wanted to see if I could make myself get as wet as my friends had. I had to say, when I saw all of them leak like they did, it was really hot. I was not a lesbian, neither were my friends, but somehow, before the night was over at our sleepovers, they all seemed to feel themselves as a group and I was the only one that watched.
Now I was watching myself.
What did I have to do to ooze like my friends? All they ever did was just keep massaging their pussies. Only a couple would insert their fingers inside their sixteen year old pussies. I was not sure if that is how they made themselves wet or not, but I could tell I did not have to put a finger in to get wet. I was already there.
I just wanted to be wetter. I wanted to ooze like them.
My clit was now hard and stuck out naturally. I knew it was because of being more aroused. I thought it best to keep feeling that.
Slowly, I put my finger on my clit and immediately the same feeling I had filled me again and I let out an audible moan. I actually surprised myself with the moan. I did not know I could make sounds like that. I guess I should have joined my friends at our sleepovers. They always made sounds like the one I made.
Now I knew why.
Instead of rubbing my clit up and down, I decided to rub in circles.
IT FELT WONDERFUL!
My clit was hard and tender under my finger and every time I circled it, a wave of sensations filled me with a feeling I could not explain. It was a feeling that kept building.
I continued to watch in the mirror. My clit poked out into the shine and reflected its wet pinkness. I must say, I had a most beautiful clit.
I could not help but see how my sexual entrance was now open a little more. I could see the deeper pink color inside as well. Something inside me wanted to know what it felt like. Nothing had ever been inside it before. I wondered if it felt like my clit.
I had to find out.
Carefully, I ran my hand from my sensitive clit, brushing across my stimulated inner lips, and slowly felt my wet entrance. It did not feel hard like my clit. It was soft and warm and gave slightly as my finger tickled my opening. It reminded me of the consistency of pudding for some reason. Like when I stick my finger in a bowl of pudding and then pull it out to lick it.
Yeah, like that.
Then I slowly stuck my finger inside myself. I was all soft and even hotter inside than what I first felt on the outside. Then suddenly, it was like my pussy knew something was inside it and it latched onto my finger and pulled it all the way inside. I gulped and moaned so deeply, it felt like my throat was going to come out of my mouth, if that could have been possible.
I watched in the mirror as my finger was sucked into the hole God gave me. It felt wonderful inside my tiny opening, but to be honest, after my finger was consumed by my pink spot, I had no idea what I needed to do.
I was lost.
So, I decided to pull my finger out. As I did, the feeling of my finger sliding out of my soft wet giving cavity made my whole body shiver. Needless to say, the feeling was new to me and I suddenly wanted more. It was that type of feeling, so I stuck my finger back inside. The feeling inside me doubled and my body once again quivered. Suddenly, I could not stop and before I knew it, my finger was going in and out at a pace that not only satisfied me, but made me moan with every insertion.
Then I thought, how could I be so stupid!
That’s what I was supposed to be doing all along!
As I watched my finger go in and out of my tiny slot, I saw just how wet my finger was and how aroused I was getting. I was actually starting to drip. It was a moment where I was truly happy. I was getting as wet as my friends had and I was thoroughly enjoying it.
My clit was still visible I saw in the mirror and wondered what would happen if I felt that at the same time I fingered myself. Slowly, I reached with my other hand and began to feel my little pink nub again.
The sensation was INDESCRIBABLE!
My pussy actually felt full and the waves of hot contractions in it started. My body began to get warmer. I felt a pressure building from what was between my legs and filling my whole self with immeasurable proportions. My nipples got harder and stuck out like erasers on the end of pencils. My small breasts were also very firm. My breathing began to quicken. The moans I could not stop. My finger deep inside my pink hole, doubled with my finger massaging my clit, sent a massive wave of emotion all over.
There were sounds coming from between my legs I had never heard. Loud wet slurping sounds that echoed through my room.
Uncontrollably, I began to shake. My heart started to beat faster and faster. I could hear the thumping of it resonate in my eardrums. It felt like my body was being consumed by an outer force.
Suddenly, I had a very strong urge to pee. I thought to myself, “Now?”
I was wrong. SO WRONG!
What happened next will by my diary entry tomorrow.Diary entry# 146: July 7, 2011
I tilted my head back and felt the feeling subside as my breathing was now deep and shallow. My body felt limp after what had just come out of my tiny slit. The pounding inside my pussy was also subsiding after what it emptied.
I finally leaned my head up to look at the my body one last time in the mirror; however, my body was distorted because of the wet droplets and already dried streaks.
It was safe to say that I got wet. I knew what I had done. I had squirted.
My first time ever touching myself, bringing myself to climax, and I orgasm by shooting a curving stream and wetting my mirrored closet door. Really?
The feeling was that of a large pressure that released itself the only way it knew how and I watched it all take place in the mirror.
When my body could not hold it any longer, my hot insides wrapped around my finger, pulsed violently, and as I removed my finger, the long stream emerged. In a pressure I could not stop, the stream became stronger and I heard and saw the force hit the mirrored door. The long spurt of clear fluid jetting out of my pussy reflected to me my full arousal.
To see myself explode like that was absolutely divine. Was that normal? I could not help but wonder. Or was I a freak?
So many emotions went through my head.
I lied down all the way onto the floor and actually petted my tiny slot with my fingers. It was very sensitive, and still dripping, but had gone back to normal. I could feel the normalcy of the outer lips form my little seam. My clit had also retracted to its original hiding place. My body was just coming down from a highly stimulated rush of emotions.
Finally able to move, I stood and looked at my satisfied body in the gush emblazoned mirror. What I could see of my body through the spotted lovely mess anyway.
I stood there looking at my naked body and what it looked like after being self-pleasured. Of course, I could not see it very well through the splash on the mirror, but what I could see looked normal. My breasts were still firm, my nipples were now normal, and my tiny split was back to itself.
My body was now more relaxed than I ever felt it to be. I sighed deeply from having treated myself to my own eighteen year old birthday present and then picked up my cell phone. I had to call my best friend.
I stood there naked talking to my best friend and telling her what I did. She could not believe it either. She did believe that it was my first time ever feeling myself even though I was eighteen. She even said she wanted to see me do it. The only problem with that was I did not know if I could do it again. I surely wanted to try again that was for sure.
Then I looked down over where I stood and where I had been sitting on the carpeted floor as I climaxed. I started to laugh out loud. My best friend asked what I was laughing at.
I simply answered, “I need to get the Windex and a towel. I have a lot to clean up!” She laughed as well and we hung up.
For once, I never thought cleaning up was a dirty job.
What I did was the dirty job! Literally!
I know I will never look the same to myself in that mirror again.
But I sure was going to have fun looking!
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