I was famished. I took a large bite of the refreshing sandwich. The soft bread, crispy spinach, and tomato crunched and melded with the sauces and deli turkey like a match from heaven. It fed my physical hunger but not the deep longing ever present. I still had 6 hours left in the god-awful shift. At least I had lush and the personalities therein for company. I’d chat a little in the lounge in between patients and laugh at the antics, but the hole. It was still there. I’d felt this way for some time now. Even my therapist had given me tips. It helped some, but I knew what was wrong. I needed — the way you need fresh air after being shut in for days.

The shift finally wound down and I was able to get home. I poked my head in the door to see what new disaster the kittens, Acey and Deeci, had wrought. Not much this time. Just, all that was on my sink vanity lay strewn on the bare bathroom floor. Why was the floor bare? Oh, because the rugs were shoved into a heap in the corner. Their water and food bowls were empty, and above the chaos was their incessant wailing for attention. They circled my legs and butted me with their heads as if their cuteness negated the destruction. I took a deep breath and picked up the 4-month-old critters.

“Hey babies. I missed you too.” I whispered, and kissed them on their foreheads.

I proceeded with my nightly ritual of cleaning up behind them and preparing for bed. I was glad I had them after all. They were a pretty good distraction, though not to the degree I’d like.

I settled in to bed, opened my MacBook, and was signed into Lush with a few keystrokes. The usual ones were online. There were also a few newcomers. There was one guy who caught my attention. He conversed well with everyone, catchy name, and had polite manners. I had seen him around before, but was content to watch. Tonight, I decided to speak up.

“…So, Hi.” I started.

“Hello!” Replied Jim.

“Cool avatar.” I joked, because he didn’t have one.

“LOL thanks, it’s new.” He replied

We settled into easy banter that landed in the private messages. Much later that night I bid him good night. Thinking it was good to make a new friend at least.

Over the next few days we continued to chat. Sharing music, movies and how we came to be on lush. The topic came up that I had been looking for a Dom to play with, but hadn’t had much luck. He offered to play, but I was reluctant to give in. I had been treated poorly in the past, and fairly recent experiences taught me to keep to myself. So, I turned him down; telling him I’d think about it. He offered escape, release and belonging. Part of me screamed for what he represented. Still, part of me was on guard.

One lonely night after work, we had been chatting a bit and I’d reached the limit of my will to resist his charms. We went to a different platform to talk on the phone. His voice was like warm caramel with ground sea salt. It was dark and smooth, but with just enough gravel to make you raw and leave you open. That’s exactly what it did to me. I felt so exposed. He didn’t ask me what I was wearing, or command me to touch myself. He just talked with me, and did so until I was comfortable. After a while of listening to him speak, I closed my eyes and snaked my hand into my panties. I didn’t know if he was aware of what he was doing to me, but I was about to tell him. When he asked me a question and I didn’t answer, because I was lost, I replied.

“Guess what I’m doing.” His voice changed a little,

“What are you doing?” Jim asked

“I’m playing with myself.” I replied.

He gave a little moan and proceeded to undo me. He told me how he’d wanted that, and how I was a good girl. He gave instruction for how hard and for how long to pleasure myself. He let me hear what I was doing to him with my sounds, so I did nothing to suppress them. He took me to the edge, and then pulled me back several times. He read me like a marquee sign on the Vegas strip—clearly and unerringly through the noise. I lay spread like prey, having given up the fight and surrendered to the lust. His voice was in my ear filling my head with the sweetest debauchery. My hands were flying over my pussy and breasts. I was floating between what was and what lay before me.

When he finally gave me permission to cum, I held nothing back. The moans, screams and convulsions were mind numbing. I could hear him in my ear pushing me through. He asked if I could go again. I told him I could. I knew it would be better and more overwhelming than the last. I climbed again. I reached the peak again. All the edging, talking, and moans culminated into an orgasm that sprayed from me in a white-hot eruption. It rode on and on like a wave in the ocean. It took some time to settle. He whispered sweet things to me. I was sated. I was satisfied. Yes, I’d be content to float here in this respite for as long as it lasted.