Resistance is Futile

I can’t resist. I have tried. I tried diminishing my desire with distractions, tried to keep my hands busy so my fingers wouldn’t fiddle inside me- but nothing works. After about a week of not touching myself, I give in… I give in, and I feel that all my resistance only results in a greater reward.

I lie on my back on my bed, with the darkness of the night like a seductive shroud around me. My eyes are closed and my breathing becomes shallow, anticipation shuddering through my eager body. My hand reaches for the bedside table on the left, closing around a small tub and bringing it back to my body to twist the lid off.

The muted scent of vanilla fills the air around me and I press one finger to the creamy body butter, scooping a small amount and rubbing it into the index finger of my left hand. Up and down, up I down, I rub my index finger, feeling it become slick with the body butter. I scoop another small dollop and do the same to middle finger, ensuring that both my fingers are coated with the vanilla cream.

By now, the fingertip of my right index finger is coated in the cream, as well. I spread my legs, and press that same fingertip to my clit. Softly, gently, I add pressure to that point, circulating my fingertip slowly and feeling my body tighten instantly. I move my left hand between my legs, my fingertips just touching my soft, wet skin.

I moan softly and bring up images to mind: a man, pressing his thumb against me while preparing to penetrate me. No, that won’t do. My imagination gave him the face of my ex-boyfriend and that’s still a little too tender. Next image. My friend Amy, teasing my clit with her nose and looking up at me with mischievous eyes, her tongue poised at the entrance to my pussy. Shit! No! I can’t imagine Amy! How will I look her in the eye, again?

My fingertip continues circling, slowly. Around and around my sensitive clit, my body shuddering in response. I moan again and give up trying to form any images and simply submit to the sensation, letting it overwhelm me. I press my left index finger into me, but only so that my pussy tightens around my first knuckle. I tease myself by sliding in slowly, savouring the feel of my finger slipping easily into me. I press my finger deeper, feeling my inner walls tighten and start pushing and pulling, my finger moving in and out of my tight, wet pussy. I moan loudly and rub my clit harder now, faster, my back arching as my single finger thrusts into me, again and again.

As I pull my finger back, I slip my middle finger in as well, stretching my tight, virginal pussy. I feel myself climb to climax and I stop rubbing my clit immediately, shocked by how fast it’s taken me to reach that point. I breathe rapidly, trying to deepen my shallow breaths and calm my body down, my two fingers still inside me, my pussy soft and wet and throbbing- my inner walls clenching and relaxing.

I force myself to breathe deeply and tentatively start rubbing my clit again. My body flares up instantly. Fuck!

Resist!

Somehow, I manage the will power required to move my finger away from my clit and I allow the effects of my near orgasm to move through my body. My two fingers now soaked in my juices, the body butter that still coats them has been rendered redundant. I keep my hand still and tilt my hips up slightly. Oh, yes… I feel my fingers move deeper inside me, delving deeper and deeper as I continue thrusting up against my hand.

I bite down on my bottom lip, my breathing become shallow again as the primal rhythm of my hips thrusting triggers a form of pleasure deep inside me. I feel it radiate through me, glowing brighter as my hips thrust upwards against my slick fingers and try to hold my hips up to prolong the sensation. I curl my fingers inside me and feel my body tense up.

Up and down, up and down, I keep thrusting my hips. My fingers plunging down into my pussy with every upward thrust of my hips. I am so wet, so hot, so tight. I need release.

I press my fingertip against my clit again. Rubbing myself in rhythm to my thrusts. I feel my whole body tightening and an inner fire growing deep in my core. I feel my shallow breathing, my rapid pulse. I feel my fingers plunging into me, my hips thrusting, my fingertip rubbing my clit, over and over again.

I can’t resist. I let my body climb, higher and higher. And there it is. My climax. I lose all sense of everything; a white light glows behind my eyelids as I shut them tightly. I can’t hear anything, can’t smell anything. The only thing I’m aware of is the sensation of my fingers inside me. Thrusting in and out of me as I start to freefall.

I sigh softly and let the pleasure from my orgasm linger a little longer.

I won’t touch myself again. I won’t.

I will resist.