Would it be so terrible to admit that right at this moment, as I write these words, I’m touching myself? That just the thought of you makes me unable to resist? Would it be so terrible of me to let you know how hard my nipples are when I think about you reading this? I wonder, not for the first time, how you feel about it when I touch myself like this. Does the thought disgust you; or maybe, just maybe, you are as turned on as me. I really hope so. I hope that when you realise what I am doing, you feel your heart rate quicken. I hope when you picture me, my robe lying open, your breathing becomes shallow. I hope you close your eyes and savour the image, I hope you shiver with anticipation; I hope you want me as I want you.
Already I am breathing harder. My tongue darts out, moistening my lips, and I close my eyes to savour the feeling of my long hair brushing over my bare shoulders. My hand is drifting slowly up from where it rested on the bed, tracing the slight swell of my stomach to tease the underside of my breast. I imagine it is your hand, cupping and caressing gently, making my nipples harden into peaks. I want to touch there right now, capture the hard nub between my finger and thumb and pinch, twist just a little. But I don’t … I want to take my time. A single fingertip circles a nipple, and though I don’t think it is possible, the dark tip tightens further. Ohhh yes…
I bring my other hand up, and allow my fingertips to dance over my chest, exploring the soft roundness, the cleft between, caressing around my nipples, but still don’t touch. I want to; they’re starting to ache already. It’s so hard to resist, but you always did say I need to learn to be patient and enjoy the journey. And now I wonder … are you aroused? Is your body getting hot at the thought of me? Is your body getting hard? I want it to be, just for me.
Unable to resist any longer, I let the circle my finger traces around my nipple get smaller, until I am just gently touching it. I flick it lightly with my nail, and it brings a small gasp from my lips, a shudder rushing down my spine. It amazes me how so small a caress can give me such a wonderful jolt. I remember raking my nails down your spine, softly and slowly, and how hard you shivered. You moaned for me, from that one simple thing. I want you to moan for me tonight … I want you to moan with
me. Will you? Just this once, let yourself go … explore with me. Watch as I finally, finally pinch my nipple. God,
that feels so good. Twisting it gently between my fingers makes me pant. Mmmm …
yes, I want more. Always so greedy, I tweak my other nipple as well; my fingers are plucking at it, electric shocks spreading through me. I tease and roll both nipples until they become unbearably hard, and pinch until the sensation comes to that sweet line between pleasure and pain. This time I moan; arching slightly up, goose bumps rising over my skin.
My breaths are coming faster. It never takes much for the sensation to take hold and I am trying so hard to be patient like you taught me. Is your breathing a little harder? Is your excitement rising with mine? I want it to. I want you to lose yourself in this, in the image of me, as I am. Not a fantasy, not a perfect beauty, just me. Because you always said that I was exquisite in your eyes, and now I finally believe you. So please, lose yourself in this. Lose yourself in me and my words. I want to know that you enjoy this so much you cannot help but touch yourself too.
My right hand is creeping down, strictly against my own orders but I do not stop it. It slides slowly over my ribcage, down my stomach once more. My fingertips move low along my stomach and begin to stroke that spot on my tummy that we discovered was incredibly sensitive. The spot that no one would guess was one of my biggest turn-ons, that when caressed produces a sensation not completely unlike tickling, but more erotic. It’s a sensation that shoots right between my legs and always makes my clit throb and my inner muscles clench. As I stroke now, that sensation starts. Gentle at first, bringing a smile to my face as it tickles. The more I caress the more it builds, and now I cannot help but begin to writhe just slightly. The feeling is spreading and my pussy clenches in anticipation right now.
Can you imagine my hips jerking with that clench? They jolted hard, and it felt so good. I can feel my arousal growing, getting hot, my wetness becoming more and more.
Now, I let my legs part. Immediately, cool air rushes over my newly exposed skin- over my heated, wet lips. It makes me shiver and my nipples somehow become even harder. They almost hurt now, and with my left hand I pinch and pluck them alternately. My right hand, ever the adventurer, moves lower and over my mound. I never tire of how sexy it feels to be bare, and I rub and touch myself slowly, enjoying the soft sensitive skin. My fingers move down either side of my slit, and I can feel that my juices have leaked a little, moistening my outer lips.
Are you picturing me like that? Laying back on my bed, propped up slightly so I may look down my body. I like watching as I touch myself. Can you see me, my hair dishevelled from where I turn my head back and forth as the pleasure begins to build? Are you imagining how I look with my robe laying open, spread beneath me on the bed, the silky smooth texture adding yet another dimension to this experience? Maybe you’re focussed a little lower, on the way my legs are spread, inching wider and wider apart. How I am exposed, my lips blushing darkly and yearning for more attention. Can you see my wetness glistening on my most intimate place?
I can feel it. My fingers are now running up and down my slit, slowly pressing deeper between. If you want to know the truth, I am drenched. Thinking of you, imagining you here watching me, is the most arousing thing I can ever think of. My clit is throbbing insistently, a constant pulse for attention. But I know, I know
that once I touch it I will be done. No more teasing, no more slow build up. Once I find my clit, circle it, rub it, I will lose all pretence of control and race toward the orgasm that I feel building. I bet you’re smiling at that, remembering how many times you have made me wait in agonising pleasure before letting me lose that control. So now I wait. Instead of working that little button, I stroke my lips, letting my fingers move deeper and deeper until I can feel my entrance. Once again, my muscles clench in anticipation. Too late I think how much I want to be filled. I should have had a toy ready, but instead they are all tucked away in my drawer, and I am too far gone to stop and get one. I don’t want to pause even for a minute, so I slide a finger inside. Mmmmmmmmmmm.
The sound that escapes me is soft and low and it sounds sweet even to my ears.
My hips are beginning to move, matching the rhythm of my finger sliding within myself. It is nowhere near enough, so I add a second finger. Now I moan loud, and I feel my muscles squeeze my fingers greedily. Still my left hand caresses my breasts, massaging and pinching and rolling with more urgency as my fingers move faster still inside. For all your lectures on patience I just can’t wait any more. I slide my fingers from my tightness and drag them slowly up, using one to circle my hard nub. Even without direct contact my hips jerk hard and I hiss a breath in, shaking. With excruciating slowness I circle my clit, slowly moving closer and closer, circles getting smaller and smaller. Finally, finally my finger rubs directly over my clit. Ohh God!
I cry out and my body rocks, eager for much more. Can you see me? My body feels hot, and I know it is flushed pink. I remember you telling me how much you love that, the more my skin blushes the more you know I am lost to pleasure.
I can’t tease myself anymore, I just can’t. My whole body is atremble with the need for release. My finger skids again and again over my throbbing clit, my hips rolling with the delicious rhythm. Pleasure arcs like lightning through me, and I let out a loud moan. My juices are trickling down between my legs, down the cleft between my arse cheeks. I drop my other hand down and thrust two fingers into my pussy. It makes me cry out, that sweet sensation of stretching. Are you picturing me? Can you see my body buck? My mouth opening as I pant and moan, the fine sheen of perspiration on my forehead, strands of my wild hair wet with it. Can you see my legs splayed wide apart, my fingers thrusting between them, filling myself again and again?
I want you watching me. I want you wanting me. Do you? Do you want me, here like this? Do you need me, knowing what I am doing while I think of you? Do you ache to be where my fingers are?
I can feel my muscles tensing. My toes curl as my legs straighten and I try to fight it. It feels so damned good but I know if I can hold off it will be even better. I always hated when you made me wait to the point of desperation, but when you let me go over, I hurtled into pleasure. That’s what I want right now. I ease off slightly, my fingers moving off my clit to circle it while I focus on the feeling of my fingers stroking in and out. I ease a third finger in and the tightness is exquisite, my muscles clenching and squeezing, rippling with pleasure. Yes, yes oh yes
. That feels incredible. I can’t stop my other hand from moving back, my fingers flying over my clit. Fuck…
I can’t stop this time. I won’t stop. My fingers move faster and harder, my whole body rocking on the bed. My eyes squeeze shut so I can centre in on the pleasure, the beautiful sensations.
Once more my body tightens all over. Do you remember how I used to look, in that moment before control slipped away and I gave myself over to the ultimate moment? Head thrown back, cheeks flushed red… I remember you telling me you loved it. Do you still love seeing me like that?
It almost hurts now. My heels dig into the bed as I push my hips up. My fingers thrust deeper, rub faster over my clit. I lick my lips, moisten them, my pants have dried them out. My teeth sink into my lower lip, biting back a loud cry as I start to tremble. Now, I need to let it go right NOW.
I hit that point, that painfully delicious point where I hang on the edge of pure bliss. I push my fingers deep into my pussy and rub my clit hard, and fly past that point. I cry out, I can’t help it. My body arcs up off the bed, forcing my fingers deeper still as the first wave hits. That first wave is always incredible, slamming into me, knocking the breath from me. It starts at my clit, that last flick of my fingers setting off the first explosion. It feels centred on my clit, and spreads with violent ripples throughout my body. My pussy clamps down on my fingers for a long, long moment. When the second wave hits my muscles begin to clench rhythmically, and my body starts to buck multiple times. My hips jerk, and that pleasure increases all over. The moans come uncontrollably, reverberating in the room. My fingers still work my clit, every rub bringing another jolt of pleasure. I work it until the pleasure turns to pain and my moans to whimpers and I just can’t take any more.
I can’t seem to catch my breath. My chest heaves, my pants are shallow as my heart races faster than I thought possible. I can feel it pounding insistently in my chest, feel the matching tempo in my throbbing clit. My fingers are still buried deep between my legs, and I ease them out. My juices have overflowed, the drenching brought on by coming more than I can believe. This used to be your favourite way to see me, my favourite way to be for you.
I can’t wait for you to share it with me again.
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