My husband and I decided we were ready to start a family. In planning for this event, I had decided that I wanted a midwife to attend me at the birth of our first child. My husband was dubious but I had this earth-mother image of myself and was adamant. A friend suggested I might want a doula also.

Now doulas are not medically trained so they can not deliver babies as a midwife can. The doula serves as a comforter and guide during the birthing process. She helps the mother relax during labor. She massages your back, your belly, your legs all to relive the muscle tension that is the direct result of contractions during labor. She is your cheering section as you move through the stages of child birth. And some will also pay follow-up visits to see how mother and baby are doing.

Shelia was my doula. My friend that suggested her said she had been an even greater help in the weeks following the birth.

Shelia came by every day for the first week. Then five times a week, then three and by the sixth week she only came twice a week. It meant so much to have her visit! After my husband’s parental leave ran out it was just me and Baby. I was lonely and looked forward to adult conversation.

It was Shelia’s last visit. It had been six weeks since I had given birth.

“Well, how are you doing today?” she asked as she settled in wit aa cup of tea. “Your milk still flowing? No hungry baby anymore?”

“No,” I replied. “I think we have a good schedule now and there’s no lack of milk.”

“Then I guess you and your husband are looking forward to resuming sexual relations? The six-week waiting period is over.”

With that, the tears I had been holding back for the last fw days burst forth.

“I’m a mess!” I wailed. “My nipples hurt and I smell like milk all the time. I don’t have any feeling down there anymore! And I can’t imagine having sex! Nick has been talking about “doing it” again so much that I am a wreck! I don’t want to disappoint him but I just don’t have any sexual desire at all.”

Shelia leaned forward and took my hand. “Sally you are not the first new mother to feel this way. Child birth is a major trauma for a woman’s body. Of course, you can’t just jump back into lover mode. You may need some help getting those old fires burning again.” She paused. “I might be able to help.”

“What can you do?” I sniffled.

“Well let’s start with those sore nipples. Lay back and open your shirt.”

Out of her backpack Shelia pulled a jar of coconut oil. Putting a dollop in her palm, she rubbed her hands together.

“You just nursed Nickie, didn’t you? So, we shouldn’t have any drips.”

Slowly she massaged my breasts. At first just the whole breast one at a time, kneading the soft tissue. It felt so relaxing.

Then she turned her attention to my aching nipples. “You should be feeling a little sensual sensation now. Do you see your nipples are standing up and turning red? That means that they are ready for some adult attention.”

She took each one between two fingers and squeezed. I sighed deeply and sank further back into the sofa pillows.

Shelia worked on my breasts and nipples for a long time; tapping them lightly with a fingertip, flicking each and giving soft twists. It felt so good.

“How does your belly feel? Has the skin begun to tighten from where it was stretched so much?” Without waiting for an answer, Shelia pushed my sweatpants down and began rubbing circles on my stomach. “Oh, you are tightening up fast! That’s good,” she exclaimed. The massaging continued with the circles moving ever lower until her hands were just above my pubic bone.

As she kept rubbing circles on my tummy, she looked closely at me. “If you want me to stop here I will. But I can continue and hopefully show you that you still have sexual feelings down there, that you can respond to a sensual touch.”

My mind was awash in sensations that had been absent for so long. I wanted so badly to welcome Nick back into my body. If Shelia could help, yes, I wanted her to continue.

“Please help me,” I whispered. “I want to be a lover for Nick again.”

Shelia pushed my pants all the way down and pulled them off. I lay there in my granny panties waiting for whatever came next.

“You know there will have to go,” she laughed as she pulled them off too. “It’s time to get back into your sexy undies!”

Slowly Shelia ran her hands up and down my legs, working on the tension in my calf muscles. Gradually her hands slid to my inner thighs, pushing my legs slightly apart.

Using the same circular motions that she used on my belly, Shelia began to stroke my vaginal area. As she worked over me, I could feel the negative tensions replaced with the familiar sexual tensions that indicate arousal. “Oh, please let me get it back,” I prayed as my doula attempted to help me over one last tribulation of childbirth.

Using her fingers, she parted the lips of my vagina revealing my clitoris, swollen and red. The coconut oil made it slick and sensitive even to the air.

“How do you feel now? Are memories coming back to you? Can you imagine your husband doing this for you?” As Shelia talked her fingers continued to tease my clitoris, making me squirm.

“Would you like to try penetration? If you aren’t ready yet, I understand,” her voice soft.

Through my moans I told her I thought I should try it.

Out of the backpack came a slim vibrator. “Not too big for the first time.”

Never stopping her fingers from playing with my clit, Shelia switched on the vibrator. She played it over my swollen labia at first, not trying to penetrate. I was breathing hard and fast. It’s working!

Then I felt the vibrator right at the entrance to my vagina. She just held it there and let it hum. Using two fingers she pulled my clitoris back and up and slid it right inside.

My orgasm was almost immediate and very intense. My body rocked as my vagina spasmed around the vibrator! Tears ran down my face, “Thank you! Thank you!” I cried as wave after wave washed over me. My orgasm went on, waves that carried me higher and higher. Shelia continued to tease my clitoris as she worked the vibrator deeper inside of me until I felt it reach bottom.

Gradually Shelia withdrew her toy and I came back down to earth.

“God, I feel so much better! Like a human again! Like a woman, not a milk machine,” I babbled as Shelia packed up her bag. “I can’t thank you enough!”

“Sally you have a beautiful baby and a husband that loves you dearly. You just needed a little help smoothing out the rough edges. I know you will be fine now. And if and when you decide to give Nickie a little brother or sister call me. I would love to be your doula again.”

With that, Shelia was out the door.