“You want pain in the butt?” in her cute French accent. Her go-to phrase as a reply to my not-so-subtle advances. They are a bit hit-and-miss, strongly leaning on the miss. Well, one out of ten is rewarding enough.

She must mean that I am a pain in the butt.

Minx.

Then again, I’ve never been averse to spanking—or yet pegging.

Given we share our flat, get along well and are open, advances come often. From both sides.

It’s only now with a baguette protruding from my posterior that I realize the keyword may have been lost in translation. Literally.