I tousle my hair in my mild insomnia-infused hangover. Eyes reduced to narrow slits, I adjust to the stingingly bright All Saints' Day noon sun hitting my porch where I was sleeping.

Vague memories of seductive buttocks juicy as an overripe peach and wide enough to spill over both sides of a chair seep through the misty haze that once was my brain—the reminiscence of a wild tryst.

A content smile—until I see the orange carved pumpkin, backside sprayed with congealed white streaks above a hole labeled ‘insert hallow-weenie here’.

“That’s it, no more LSD,” I mutter to myself.