At Her Own Pace Chapter One – The Backstory She is a typical housewife in the typical ways, however, she is far from typical – or a housewife. She is well educated and respected in her career.
After marrying young and having two children, she is now becoming her own woman; a woman with desires; a woman with needs. But she remains a woman who admits only to herself that she has fantasies.
Her husband has questioned her for some time about her sexual desires. Her answer is always to admit to only wanting him and that he had fulfilled all of her fantasies by being with her.
She is now realizing that her standard answer to his questions leaves nothing for her husband to anticipate. Hubby had purchased her some new sex toys earlier in the year and was regularly encouraging her to use them.
He encouraged her to enjoy herself while he was at work, often referring to the toys as “her boyfriend”. Slowly, very slowly, she started using the toys and occasionally taking a picture or two to share with her husband.
She saw how excited her husband became when she would show him the pictures and tell a few details of her private time with “her boyfriend”.
Being a smart woman and constrained by moral principles ingrained from her youth, she just knew she was being morally wrong. She knew she was not supposed to enjoy being a “bad girl” with “her boyfriend”. But why was she enjoying herself so much?
Why was her husband so aroused by her toy-play and naughty pictures? She was trying to piece it all together in her mind with a definitive conclusion. But why couldn’t she?
Reflecting on the year, she recalled the four-handed massage her husband had arranged for her birthday. She reflected on how special she felt that day with her husband and another man rubbing her from head to toe with oil. She wondered what may have happened that day if she would have allowed the towels to be removed from her “special places”.
She wondered if her husband would have allowed her to experience the touches of another man’s hands in those special places. After all, her husband had arranged the whole day, including the massage with the mystery man.
She wasn’t all that attracted to the masseuse, but he was a nice man with big hands.
She found herself feeling guilty when thoughts of the massage would enter her mind while enjoying time with “her boyfriend”.
At other times she found herself reflecting on their anniversary date. She and her husband took the day off from work to spend time together. After a morning of sunning by the pool at a local spa, they enjoyed lunch on the open patio of a beach diner.
She recalled the man whose mouth dropped open as she walked by in her sundress. How could that man have found her, a mother of two, attractive? Even still, she found herself getting aroused when she recalled the day, and the memory sure helped “her boyfriend” slide into just the right spots when she would play.
Her husband would send her e-mail requests from time-to-time. Sometimes his requests were far too sexually adventuresome for her liking.
To help get his requests under control, she issued a blanket rule that she was willing to explore sexual activities as long as another person was not involved – only her and him!
His suggestions of threesomes, same-room sex with another couple, having someone video them in action, or watching another couple didn’t sit well with her moral compass. She had convictions which couldn't be compromised for pleasure.
Her husband respected her boundaries and would occasionally share his perspective.
Being of the same religious beliefs had provided them with over 20 years of marriage and a “moral compass” they could reference to settle occasional disputes.
Those same beliefs had provided a strong moral foundation for their children too. However, her husband’s definition of allowable sexual activities differed with hers in a significant way.
Her “no other people involved” rule was contrasted by her husband’s perspective that any sexual activities a married couple mutually agrees upon are acceptable.
His perspective left the door open for sexual adventures which could involve other persons, providing the activity and boundaries had been fully discussed and agreed upon beforehand.
She and her husband agreed to disagree and enjoy a satisfying sexual life together. In essence, both she and her husband were correct, as they were conducting their sex life within the limits they mutually agreed to.
